Beginner asking for advice on dealing with a confusing brat

[ddbeginner]

I am in my mid 30s and consider myself as a daddydom. So I got into touch via an online site with a female user which name contained "Little" and "Brat". Besides the "little" and "brat" parts, I visually felt very attracted to her. Her profile says that she is a masochist and she also needs very much emotional support. And that she is looking for a dom. I texted her and first no reply followed (this tends to be the case on the site, because I think females get flooded with messages). So I pinged her again and back came a nice message describing herself again in more detail. She said that she is nearly a 24/7 little. At home she needs a dummy, wears a body and needs stuffed animals, *but* that if something doesnt go her way, she can also turn into a jealous brat that starts to go whoring and become defiant. I thought "perfect, exactly what I want" and told her that.

 

So we started texting very much. She often only responded with one-liner messages. Sometimes even only 1 word or 1 emoji. But she responded quite fast most of the time. And I thought we were building an (online) relationship of some sorts. One day she was asking if I had any plans (even though she said a bit earlier that she wont have time the next 2 weeks). I wasnt sure yet, if I was about to go out with friends and first said, that I might be going out. To be honest, I wanted to know also where she will be going with that. So she then asked if we could meet (it was for the same day), but I then had to decline because I didnt want to cancel the thing with my friends. She turned super bratty then, even threatened to delete me, etc.

 

Then there was 1 day of silence, because I didnt want to give her the feeling that I will just stupidly go along with her bratting and let myself be annoyed by that. Anyway, to make up for this, I sent her a pic of a dummy and told her that I bought it just for her. We started to get along well again. She said she is still disappointed because I didnt have time for her, but she starts to open up again for me. We exchanged a lot of (short) messages again. She again said that she is busy with work these days but happy to chat. Then, 2 days ago she entered a date into the website we were communicating on (the site has a feature where you can create a date and people can then contact you). So I was confused, because she claimed she doesn't have any time in the next days. I was wondering, if she is just doing that to toy with me, or if she is straight out lying to me, or something else? On that day she also wrote to me that she isn't looking for a daddy, but a dom, even though she told me that she is nearly a 24/7 little. I know that not every little needs a daddy, but she appreciated that I bought her a dummy and she also stated that she needs emotional support. So I was assuming that she is also looking for a daddy and not "just" for a dom. Then I started to text something "dom"y to her, but she just replied with a shrug-emoji (which she generally often does). and then later with only "...". 

 

Anyway, as you might understand I am super confused. I don't know if she is teasing me all the time, if she is for real or just the perfect brat? If she says, she wants a dom, should I be dominant in our online conversation or is our online conversation just here to evaluate if a real-life meeting could/should happen? I saw so many of her faces, that I honestly dont know. She was bratty, she was little, she was asking me for pictures and replying that I am cute. She was telling me that she would need me to cuddle with her right now and would love to have my dummy. But then she is looking for dates with others.

Honestly, I really don't know where to go with this. On the one hand I find all of this strangely exciting, but still I really wanna know where I stand here? Am I being trolled in the perfect way? Or might I be able to get somewhere here if I keep on hangin on? Disclaimer: I am really new to this stuff, but I've read a lot and I feel that it excites me. I dont want to play a role (e.g. dom) just to fullfil her needs.. I am authentic and I told her that. But she really makes life hard for me being like that. Is this all part of the game? I am a person that gets emotionally attached to a person (that does the right things, as is the case here with this little brat) really quick. I also tend to make myself dependent from others that I like. This maybe sounds like a sub role, but I think I can also be really dominant. But everytime I tried to throw something dom-like to her, she seemed not to bite (or maybe I didnt try hard enough or I didnt try in the correct way?). 

 

Sorry for this lengthy post. I think I just needed to write down much of this stuff just for the sake of it. It really plays with my head and I have to think about it nearly all the time (distracts me from working even), which probably is also a sign of how much I am into it. I think I am just looking for other people's advice on how to deal with this. Should I go on? Should I try to change my behavior (I wont change my behavior just to fit to her, but maybe I should steer everything more into another direction..)? How should I interpret her behavior? Is she for real or just messing with me, etc.?

[Istrawberry]

Hey,

 

I'm not sure if i am qualified to say anything, since I'm a little myself and don't have much experience in the DDLG lifestyle.

 

 

I think there are differences between being a brat and just... being unreasonable. She can't expect that if she suddenly asks to meet you, you're gonna drop everything to her. Expecting something like that and then threatening to delete you is just... I have no idea what to say. Threatening someone just because they say no, for me, isn't what a brat does, but what a toxic person does. That's a big red flag. And the expectation you would just cancel all your plans for her cause she suddenly wants to meet you is unreasonable. I would have said different if you two were dating and she had an emergency, but since neither is the case, the expectation is out of line. And another red flag.

 

I think the lady has communication issues too. Might just be me, but if I see someone is nice and puts in the effort to write messages (and not just one liners) I try my best with that too. Sure, it might not be able in 100% of the messages, sometimes there's an occasional short one. But that's normal. If you saw, that she isn't willing or just doesn't put in the same efforts in your communication than you do, I would advice you to consider if she is really a person you are looking for. 

 

 

But that just as two thoughts.

 

There are probably a million different possibilities I could state now to what her intentions could be, if she is serious about it, if she's just a brat or... yea. It would take too long and even though you did write a bit, it's nowhere near enough to evaluate what kind of person she is. I would refrain from judging someoneone or putting intentions in other's hands when I don't know enough. What I will say, is that you should have a good conversation with yourself:

She seems, at the very least, to be a person that sends mixed signals (the date thing while telling you those things) and someone who might not put in as much efforts as you. That is an assuption that might be wrong. If I were you, I would logically compare if you two in general fit well enough for you to take this downsides or if you in general would rather have someone that communicates clearly their wants and isn't so fishy about their intentions and where you stand. When you consider that, I advice that you leave out your emotions or attachement that you seem to have already. It'll just cloud your decision. If that is hard, think about it this way: If your best friend came to you and told you this story... what would you advice him? (if he was a person like you) Would you tell him that she is not worth the uncertainty or would you just let him run with it? Evaluate if she could be a partner thatv has the things you deem necessary and valuable in a partner while not having bad sides, that you can't live with. And then make a decision, without your attachement or feelings to her. If she can't be the partner you would desire, than no matter what her intentions are, she's not the right one.

I am sure many other people tell you what you should do (go for her or not) but it has to be a decision that you can live with. If it distracts your work so much though, I would take that into consideration too.
If you need any more help, feel free to send me a friend request and write me a message

[DaddysMonkey]

I’m going to keep my reply short and concise.

 

Red flags everywhere. Manipulation , poor communication , immaturity.

 

I could pick apart behaviors you describe but of course this story is one sided and we don’t have her perspective , but this is the kind of behavior towards doms that genuinely upsets me. Especially to new members in the community. It sounds like you’re just a toy when she’s bored dawg.

[Nymph]

Nobody is perfect, she is not the perfect brat or the perfect troll or the perfect nothing. You are a bit lost, she doesn't seem ready to be in a relationship. Be flattered that she found you sweet and cute enough to be tempted by you even if she is already half moved on by starting her search again. It does not mean you did something wrong, you were probably just not compatible, she may not even know what she wants.

 

The shrugs emoji's and the "..." means she does not respect you as a dom, to her your behavior is out of character, it shows that you are trying too hard and that is a big turn off for a brat. Because a brat is to be put in place, you don't negotiate. You warn, punish and then, when you have the results you want, you may reward. You also should learn your particular partner's way to hint at "funishment" but it takes time and effort like any relationship.

 

Even for experienced daddies, a brat can sometimes be too much. Because it's so easy to cross the line to immature, unreasonable, rude and even get to the point of abusive worse case scenario! You can be the most loving, sweet, affectionate Daddy ever that happens to have a very strict side that will go all the way to sadist, but the key thing I think, is to be yourself and not to force something because you are hoping that is what they want. That would only work for a dominant little who wants a submissive daddy (and there are those btw, nothing wrong with that).

 

Example, she asks you to spank her so hard it will leave a mark, but you are not comfortable with even a red hand print so instead your rub her butt and maybe slap it a bit, just enough to make a noise. Her reaction will most likely be "...*shrug*" because that does nothing for her. Also do try to figure out if that is something they want in person or just fantasy/roleplay about. I HATE roleplaying online, in person is fun, but of course that is just me.

 

For the record: I am a little, or more specifically a "middle" pretty much 24/7, I am mostly a good girl with rare bratty moments Daddy adores, because they are like treats to him and honestly, I like to keep those moments rare because they are more intense in our case.

[PrincessKittenCupcake]

A DDLG or BDSM relationship requires so much communication, and that goes double if you're dealing with a Brat. IMO, bratty behavior is a lot like discipline, impact play, etc. It needs to be discussed and negotiated because it can very easily become too much, and there will be days you are just not up to it. I don't really see her being able to have those conversations. I would keep your options open.

[LeeLee1]

Keep looking ,this lady isn’t one or the other,maybe she don’t even know what she wants herself.

You have to do a lot of fishing to catch a mermaid. But don’t be afraid to throw back the Sharks

[Lilminamoo]

Hello, 

I do not presume to know the situation or the individual but I would still like to contribute. 

The girl you are referring too sounds like she initially wasn't interested in you. This is not behaving like a brat, this is being demanding.

I consider it to be a red flag to show you no sign of interest and the expect you to drop everything for her. To be honest, it sounds like she wasn't all that interested in you but did not like when you were not completely devoted to her. 

I do not want tocome across impolite or rude, but to me it seems like she is using you. 

She is not interested in pursuing you, but likes the attention that you provide. It is coming across as though she is stringing you along. Sometimes, girls just like to have someone to fall back on. 

The hot and cold signals might be a reflection of this. 

Where I you, I would move on. I'd expect some pretty toxic behaviour as a result of this. 

Good Luck