A Daddy's Biggest Fear

[AussieMelbourneDaddy]

A daddy's biggest fear is always that their 'little' will outgrow them. Their love, nurturing, comfort and safety will eventually take second place to desires to explore the bigger world and walk on their own, taking valuable teachings and life lessons into a 'big' life.

 

While there may not be specific reasons for this and nothing been done wrong, other life commitments, life priorities and time factors can create a sense of 'trappedness' and inhibit further personal growth.

 

It is always a personal honor and privilege to show such heightened respect, to provide such a safe and comfortable environment that promotes growth, to reinforce that (despite past partners behaviors and/or experiences) all the above is essential to create trust, happiness and love.

 

It is always my hope that I am able to provide the above nurturing environment. That it helps a 'little' to move forward in a much better frame of mind, that all the walls that we work on together to pull down help them to move forward with confidence, that a 'little' may learn valuable life skills through my nurturing and guidance.

 

A daddy always hopes that he has made a positive impact, that he has helped to slay demons and scare away the monsters under the bed. A daddy's love knows no bounds and they hope that these lessons can be taken with their 'little' throughout their life.

 

A daddy knows the risks but sees much more value in the reward!

[Guest Account deleted]

It's beautiful. I can understand that and I agree with you that although it hurts, it must be an incredibly rewarding experience for a Daddy!

 

Your post was actually thought provoking.. - and I may be completely wrong as I started exploring only a few months ago (meaning my understanding of things is still very limited) -  I see this as being the case most likely when the relationship starts with a mentoring dynamic..?

 

I was already a grown up when I started exploring my Little side and I don't see myself outgrowing my partner, nor does it seem to be a fear of his. We had a relationship that lead us to this dynamic. But the relationship was there to start with and in the end, what might happen is that we will both outgrow the dynamic, rather than outgrowing each other.

 

I am sure it is a very unpopular opinion so I am just going to leave it at that without seeking a discussion, but from my own observations so far, some Littles venture in this community with a need to grow, or cope and heal something they can't always quite identify. A Daddy will provide them with all the wonderful things you talk about. And what is meant to happen happens exactly the way you describe it and it's beautiful : you will provide them with a safe nest, and one day they will be able to fly on their own and yes, they will most likely fly away. While some Littles don't really need guidance per say, but want to feel loved and accepted when they let go of life/work/society's expectations and obligations to enjoy their true nature. If they lack confidence at times and need their partner's reassurance and encouragement, they also have already achieved some sort of self-growth : you will provide them with a safe nest to which they can always fly back.

 

In both cases, I never cease to marvel at the incredible role a Daddy plays in his Little's life.

I think of both roles as rewarding, tremendously gratifying, and worthy of the most genuine long-lasting gratefulness.

Edited August 4, 2021 by CraftyPinkBee

[Kittykat83]

Both poetically put. I second both

[DerbyNerd]

It's beautiful. I can understand that and I agree with you that although it hurts, it must be an incredibly rewarding experience for a Daddy!

 

Your post was actually thought provoking.. - and I may be completely wrong as I started exploring only a few months ago (meaning my understanding of things is still very limited) -  I see this as being the case most likely when the relationship starts with a mentoring dynamic..?

 

I was already a grown up when I started exploring my Little side and I don't see myself outgrowing my partner, nor does it seem to be a fear of his. We had a relationship that lead us to this dynamic. But the relationship was there to start with and in the end, what might happen is that we will both outgrow the dynamic, rather than outgrowing each other.

 

I am sure it is a very unpopular opinion so I am just going to leave it at that without seeking a discussion, but from my own observations so far, some Littles venture in this community with a need to grow, or cope and heal something they can't always quite identify. A Daddy will provide them with all the wonderful things you talk about. And what is meant to happen happens exactly the way you describe it and it's beautiful : you will provide them with a safe nest, and one day they will be able to fly on their own and yes, they will most likely fly away. While some Littles don't really need guidance per say, but want to feel loved and accepted when they let go of life/work/society's expectations and obligations to enjoy their true nature. If they lack confidence at times and need their partner's reassurance and encouragement, they also have already achieved some sort of self-growth : you will provide them with a safe nest to which they can always fly back.

 

In both cases, I never cease to marvel at the incredible role a Daddy plays in his Little's life.

I think of both roles as rewarding, tremendously gratifying, and worthy of the most genuine long-lasting gratefulness.

I completely agree - I am defiantly the second type of little. I don't need a daddy to guide me because my life was completely fine and I have the ability to handle everything (and have handled everything for over a decade - uni then internship then a very mentally demanding job). However Daddy plays a a big role in my life - like you said he provides a safe loving environment to come home to where I don't have to handle things that I don't want to. I think thats why I believe he will always be daddy and I won't ever 'outgrow' my need for him. 

[Guest Account deleted]

I completely agree - I am defiantly the second type of little. I don't need a daddy to guide me because my life was completely fine and I have the ability to handle everything (and have handled everything for over a decade - uni then internship then a very mentally demanding job). However Daddy plays a a big role in my life - like you said he provides a safe loving environment to come home to where I don't have to handle things that I don't want to. I think thats why I believe he will always be daddy and I won't ever 'outgrow' my need for him. 

 

Aaaah how interesting, thank you so much for sharing this! I'm exactly the same and my partner and I have the same type of relationship. And your post helps me tremendously! - When I realized some Daddies don't appreciate Littles who are actually adults able to handle their life (I say that as a mere fact, not criticism), I started doubting myself and it was very hard for me to accept the fact I am a legitimate Little. Now of course, I am much more confident about myself and my partner was the key to this. I do believe I will never outgrow my need of him either! 

[DerbyNerd]

Aaaah how interesting, thank you so much for sharing this! I'm exactly the same and my partner and I have the same type of relationship. And your post helps me tremendously! - When I realized some Daddies don't appreciate Littles who are actually adults able to handle their life (I say that as a mere fact, not criticism), I started doubting myself and it was very hard for me to accept the fact I am a legitimate Little. Now of course, I am much more confident about myself and my partner was the key to this. I do believe I will never outgrow my need of him either!

So something that helped me was a tiktoker called thatonetravelinggirl who described a type of little she calls “alpha littles” who are essentially very functional and often have high intensity lives/jobs/responsibility and use their little space as a mental break from all of that but don’t necessarily need the guidance some other littles need. Like we are capable of caring for ourselves and we competently care for others (example: I’m a psychologist) but we don’t always want to and that’s where being little comes in.

[Guest Account deleted]

So something that helped me was a tiktoker called thatonetravelinggirl who described a type of little she calls “alpha littles” who are essentially very functional and often have high intensity lives/jobs/responsibility and use their little space as a mental break from all of that but don’t necessarily need the guidance some other littles need. Like we are capable of caring for ourselves and we competently care for others (example: I’m a psychologist) but we don’t always want to and that’s where being little comes in.

 

Wow. "Alpha Little".. This is SO helpful..!! Thank you! I can completely relate to this and even though I am not a big fan of labels, it sure brings a happy sense of relief and belonging to know I fit in somewhere.. Finally! - I had come across the term "Dominant Little".. but wasn't happy at all with that.. It was indeed a tiny little part of me when in Little space (an attempt at being demanding/controlling at times - which might occasionally amuse my partner), but definitely not me. The concept of Alpha Little however speaks to me on so many different levels, it is the best description of my little mindset I've had so far. Thank you!! Xxx - Bee

Edited August 6, 2021 by CraftyPinkBee