Little Lost

[ScarletBaby]

I haven't been on much in a long time, beyond some profile updates and glancing around, I haven't really been on here. A couple years ago I first started my hunt for a Daddy, and it ended up successful. I found one through here, I will never name names or go into detail on this relationship on here, but let's just say it wasn't a happy ending. I've been single for a while now and I haven't been able to really get into my Little Space either. I'm a very needy type of person, who needs touch and affection, and basically attention. I've been this way my entire life but my needs for it have changed since reaching adulthood. I've been wanting to just find a good and healthy relationship for me to be there for my partner and know that they are here for me.

 

Forgive me for writing so much, but I feel like I really just need to vent right now. I'm feeling lost and unsure of my current path. I've entered into therapy and I think it will be helpful, but all therapy takes time. As much as I love my best friend, and my family, hugging them isn't always helping me to feel better. I want to feel loved as much as I love, and that's not easy for me. It doesn't help that I know that I'm a lot. I've been told it so many times it's become a common thing for me to hear. I'm a bit much and that has ended friendships and other relationships multiple times in my life. To make matters even harder, I need to know that whoever I end up with will not only fight for me, but fight me for me. I've had so many friendships and relationships end from simply moving and the other would let go of me as a friend. As a military brat this was a constant in my life, and I'm realizing between my ADHD and the exerience of my relationships being so easily dropped that I need to feel like my partner isn't going to let me give up from fear of losing the relationship in the first place.

 

It's gotten to the point that I'm on a dating app, but I'm unsure of finding a relationship in such a vanilla place. I'm worried that, when the relationship gets serious, my heart will be broken when they don't accept my Little side. But I'm also worried that I won't ever find the right person on here when it seems like everyone is in another state or country. I need to find someone who can handle me being Little and handle my intense adult personality. I need someone who can be really kind and gentle with me but also strict enough to help me keep on a good habit track with my ADHD. I feel like I'll never find my balance and I think that is why my Little has been hiding deeper and deeper within me. To avoid pain and heartbreak. How can I come out of this? And how can I find the right person for me?

[iamdaddy27]

You just gotta keep trying and not give up eventually you will find someone. I have ADHD too, and personally i find an intense personality great, mainly because i'm quite intense myself ^-^ ive also sent you a friend request if you want to talk

[Vampiress]

I think the dating app isn't such a horrible idea as it might seem at first glance, it depends on how flexible and compromising you are. There's plenty of stories here of people who started dating a vanilla person that fit well into whichever role (little, middle, or Caregiver) and naturally fell into that kind of relationship over time. I would maybe see if any person you meet there has any traits with the potential, but try to be objective about it. Don't try to see something that might not be there just because it's what you want. Sometimes these relationships the other person becomes super interested and jumps into it, and other times they mostly fit the role but don't like all the labels and stuff that some people put on it. If you're a little flexible about it, if you're patient, and if you're willing to help teach and guide them into the lifestyle you might find that dating in the vanilla world isn't the worst idea. In fact, it could even be a good thing because there are quite a few in this community who jump to the sex thing real fast and don't seem to care about the rest... but if you find someone who wasn't into or aware of the lifestyle but then becomes interested because of you, then perhaps there is a better chance there that they didn't have those intentions to begin with and that they will put a sincere and honest effort into that kind of relationship with you. It could be a blessing in disguise! I'd definitely give it a try. You also have to be open to the idea of discussing this with them eventually because they won't be able to read your mind and being open about it early on can weed out anyone who isn't going to work out rather than waiting until after you've already fallen for them hard. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find someone that you are compatible with.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Hey, I'm sorry your last relationship had a sad ending and I'm sorry you've been shamed for being "a lot." What makes you a lot anyway? That you're intense? That you desire attention? Well, you're not the only one, don't worry, and there's nothing wrong with you for being that way. Everyone has a limit on what they can handle. It's best to find someone who can match your intensity, or someone who can appreciate it.

 

In my opinion, there are kinky people everywhere (including on dating apps). But I don't personally think a person has to have a ton of experience in the lifestyle to be kinky, just a strong desire to participate in it. I met my Daddy on a dating app, after all. I was just upfront about me being a "little" on there and anything else I felt was important to mention as a disclaimer (who I am, what I was looking for). The people who are familiar with it, already know what it is. I also liked how I could filter people easily on okcupid through reading how people answered the questions as it personally helped me gauge compatibility better (including with the kink stuff). That being said, me and my Daddy were just supposed to be platonic friends and that unexpectedly turned into more, so just pay attention to who you're drawn to (even if it's just as friends) and have fun with it. I guess different things work for different people and you never know where you'll wind up finding a compatible partner.

 

I know it can be scary to venture out when you've experienced heartbreak, because I've been there too, but you'll also never know what good things could be waiting around the corner for you if you don't look. I believe if you can imagine something, it exists.