Racism in DDLG

[themightyloner]

I am so sick of dealing with racism in what is supposed to be a safe and loving space for littles. It is IMPOSSIBLE to try and find a daddy because as soon as they find out you're not white and they see your face, it's 'thanks but no thanks.'

 

Every place I go (Reddit, here, DDLGFriends, Fetlife, etc.) I get straight up ignored or I will be having a rare great conversation and as soon it comes up that I'm not white... it's game over.

 

Honestly... I don't even SEE many black littles. Maybe it's stupid of me to even want to be in this community. I am just SO hurt because it's like... I just want a daddy and to be happy but I can't have that just cuz of the color of my skin.

[Guest doe_eyed]

People are really racist, I know what you mean. I'm sorry you're feeling hurt. I hope you one day find someone who won't judge you just because of your race, no one deserves to be treated like this for something they cannot control.

[bbubbless]

Hiya, 

 

I would like to first thank you for sharing your thoughts on here with us. I want to start off by saying that I am really sorry that you have had multiple experiences like that; nobody deserves to feel like that at all. With that being said, I hope you remember that you and your being, everything that comes with you being you, is completely valid. You are so freaking loved, appreciated and welcomed, even though it might have not always seem like that in the past. 

 

This community is meant to be a safe space where you can be yourself and not worry about anything else, so I am sorry that a safe space like this was violated for you. Any form of racism is and should never be accepted nor tolerated by anyone ever!! You would think that that is common sense right, yet there are plenty of people who unfortunately still discriminate and make racist remarks. I want to say to you that those people in the past, who didn't choose you because of your skin color, are in the wrong. I hope you understand that what they did was and is wrong and that there is really no excuse for it.

 

Racism has no place on this forum, nor this community or in the world to begin with. If you ever experience anything like that on here, don't hesitate to report those people!  Although I cannot relate to your experiences, I can sympathize and provide some words of comfort hopefully. You will find someone one day who will love and appreciate you for you. You are not alone! You are so freaking appreciated and accepted! 

 

Remember that you are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling right now, and feeling hurt is absolutely normal and alright. Those buttheads from the past were buttheads; because those who respect you and care for you will accept you regardless.  

 

I am sorry that I don't have any magical powers to fight these people off and I am sorry again that you had to go through that. Just know that there are people on here that do love and accept you for who you are. You are seen, heard and loved once again. I am sure that there are some littles who are POC on here who you could message or talk to about this if you are more comfortable with that. 

 

Its not stupid for you to be in the community and again, I am sorry that some people made you feel like this. As a little of this community, I freaking welcome you with the biggest hug ever! Its okay to take your time regarding this topic and to do what is best for you. Do whatever you are comfortable with, but don't ever forget that you are loved! 

 

- Bubbles

Edited July 2, 2021 by bbubbless

[Vampiress]

I think Bubbles' post was pretty much perfect, but I wanted to second that and say that I am so sorry you have had such a horrible experience with the community. Black people are freakin' GORGEOUS and BEAUTIFUL, and I hope you never again have to deal with someone treating you less than you deserve. Don't lose hope, the right person will come along and see the beauty that other people are missing out on because they are too clouded by hate and stereotypes. You belong here, you are one of us and I really hope you can make friends here as well. 

[Guest Account deleted]

Oh my.. I am so sorry to read this.. I really hope you will soon have better, much more positive experiences and reasons to believe not everybody is racist.. I SO 100% agree, you are more than welcome here and part of this community, just like anybody else and it's a privilege for us to know you are part of it!! There is nothing to add to what has already been perfectly said by my friends. You belong here and you are not alone. I am sending nothing but good, positive energy your way hoping you will soon get to interact with the right persons, make new friends and enjoy everything this community has to offer. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings with us. You are appreciated! Xxx -Bee

[baby_k]

When looking for a partner, people are allowed to have preferences and likes. That is not racism.

 

I can still understand the frustration and hurt for being shut out all the time, it has a massive toll on a person. Maybe try to find friends from ddlg circles, so you can talk about these encounters of yours with someone and vent: it can help you see that the issue is not in you, and make the situation easier to handle.

 

It is actually interesting what you say: I also have not seen many black littles. Not sure why. If they face nasty comments or such, and therefore prefer to keep to themselves, that is definately a problem.

[Hayzyquinn]

I am so sick of dealing with racism in what is supposed to be a safe and loving space for littles. It is IMPOSSIBLE to try and find a daddy because as soon as they find out you're not white and they see your face, it's 'thanks but no thanks.'

 

Every place I go (Reddit, here, DDLGFriends, Fetlife, etc.) I get straight up ignored or I will be having a rare great conversation and as soon it comes up that I'm not white... it's game over.

 

Honestly... I don't even SEE many black littles. Maybe it's stupid of me to even want to be in this community. I am just SO hurt because it's like... I just want a daddy and to be happy but I can't have that just cuz of the color of my skin.

 

Hey!

 

I relate to this personally , seeing as im a black member of this community. Honestly? Its kind of detoured me from even wanting to explore it properly due to the fear of being hurt. Unfortunately some things have already been said to me , which kinda sucked? I have definately noticed the lack of diversity amoungst littles , which isnt a bad thing - but it does make me feel left out alot. and there have been times were people have blatantly belittled me or ignored me because of it.

 

I just thought that by reaching out you'd know that your not alone in feeling that way! I guess we cant change other peoples preferences - but it just hurts. If you ever needed a friend to vent to about these things you can always DM me!

[baby_blu3]

I hope it's okay to give my 2 cents. If not, I can definitely delete!

 

I've also noticed that the community isn't very diverse, which sucks. I'm not black so i cannot speak on how it must be for black people, but I am a person of color and sometimes it definitely feels... icky? Toxic? I know one guy I was talking to said some real wild stuff and that made me need to put my computer away for a bit. My guy called me Yingying bc I'm Asian even though I'm from the Philippines lol. I kinda think the whole 'it's a preference' thing kinda sucks as a reason, especially because it doesn't do much to negate the sting it inflicts. Like, I dunno, it's hard to explain but it sounds scummy, like it's just repackaged racism, sometimes.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this! Hopefully us POC will become a larger portion of the community in time For now, I guess all we can do is stick together.

 

Sending good vibes your way!

 

I'm sorry if this sounds self centered and like I'm only talking about myself, I'm trying to relate to you and show you that you aren't the only POC in the community and share my own experiences with race in the community because I know it isn't often talked about because it's the elephant in the room, so I'm trying to share my own experiences. I'm sorry if this comes across weirdly, though.

[themightyloner]

Thank you everyone for your sweet messages. ♡

[MochaBunnie]

Hi themightyloner. My name is Mocha and I've been in the lifestyle for 5 years. I'm a black littler and I have a kik group for littles/middles/babygirls of color where we chat about the very thing you are describing. I want to let you know that there are a lot of black daddies out there. Not to mention, there are soooo many littles/middles/babygirls of color that feel similar to you. If you would like to join my kik group (We have 30 members/all WOC), please let me know. We are a great resource to have.  

I am so sick of dealing with racism in what is supposed to be a safe and loving space for littles. It is IMPOSSIBLE to try and find a daddy because as soon as they find out you're not white and they see your face, it's 'thanks but no thanks.'

Every place I go (Reddit, here, DDLGFriends, Fetlife, etc.) I get straight up ignored or I will be having a rare great conversation and as soon it comes up that I'm not white... it's game over.

Honestly... I don't even SEE many black littles. Maybe it's stupid of me to even want to be in this community. I am just SO hurt because it's like... I just want a daddy and to be happy but I can't have that just cuz of the color of my skin.

[SenpaisKitten]

Hi themightyloner. My name is Mocha and I've been in the lifestyle for 5 years. I'm a black littler and I have a kik group for littles/middles/babygirls of color where we chat about the very thing you are describing. I want to let you know that there are a lot of black daddies out there. Not to mention, there are soooo many littles/middles/babygirls of color that feel similar to you. If you would like to join my kik group (We have 30 members/all WOC), please let me know. We are a great resource to have.  

Hi also a black little. I haven't had racially charged issues in the community ((involved maybe about 2 years so fairly new)) and the daddy that I did have was black but I do find trying to find representation and in DDLG in prodominantly non poc groups is troubling.

 

This group sounds dope I do I inquire

 

I've also recently found a pic little middle group on fb...small for now but so far vibing ((about 300 membera))

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

White daddy who adores littles of all colors. My advice is in any description of yourself to include your race. This will hopefully deter the racists from interacting with you in the first place. It's awful but you don't need that kind of negativity. There are plenty of tolerant people out there!

[Guest bigdaddy352008]

im a whit daddy dom and i also love all races and actually prefer other races most of the time.  im sorry to hear about your bad experiences but there are dd's out there that dont care about race and more the person.  i am one of them.  feel free and lets chat i like to get to know you better.  i have experienced black girls say hell no to me because i am white.  it happens to white people as well.  i am open minded to all races and like to get to know others.  i look forward to hearing from you if you like to chat

[wolfdaddy]

Hi! I’m also a cis white male daddy and just wanted to empathize with what you are saying here. I’m so sorry your experiences have been bad. It’s so hard to find a wonderful little that appearances (of which race is just one factor) are such a shallow thing to turn down a proper connection over. I think there is another side to this in the broader kink community (a d therefore doubtless in the ddlg community) which is racial fetishization. I know many POC in the kink scene who struggle, black men and women alike, from racial fetishization. The black bull / black slave stuff etc etc etc. I’m so sorry this is an issue in our community, but good people of all races are out there for who race is neither an issue or a kink. I hope you can find them!

[kawasaku]

Edited September 1, 2021 by Guest

[Josei]

I also agree with the original poster. It gets a bit tough mentally dealing with DD who same to just want you for something you can't change. I understand people have different preferences but it just sucks when your usally not even close to it because of something like that. I actually saw a personal that specifically said they did not want a black little. Hurt my feelings a bit but I kept tugging.

 

I know what I really want from a relationship so I'll just have to wait on my time to sparkle. I just wanted to post to say you're not alone and I can empathize with you.

[♡ マリィ ♡]

I've been living in the US since 2018 (I'm French/African) and I can honestly say I never really thought about my race/how it impacted my interactions until I moved here.

Not to say that racism doesn't exist elsewhere, it definitely does! But American attitudes about race and racism are a lot more complex here... and when you get into kink spaces, which are even SMALLER than regular dating pools, the lack of diversity really does shine. There are also a lot of people in this country who do 'race play' (someone once specifically asked me if we could do slave & master stuff, of THAT variety - I was baffled, as I'm not AA and that's entirely disgusting regardless) and that sort of sexualisation makes me so uncomfortable, too. It's not as if we asked to be born in any particular place, race or time... it's hard enough to navigate these spaces as a little, let alone when there are people who will see your skin tone before they see you. I'm so sorry.

 

I hope you feel better soon, Mighty. You're beautiful no matter how much melanin is in your skin, and I know you'll find a daddy one of these days who loves you exactly the way you are. ♡

[jazmynMyddle_]

https://linktr.ee/Lil_monster?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=e1804de0-96f1-4234-bfc9-9600ba45d0c0 

🌹🥂🧸 

So, *the link above is not mine!* - Also! Just a warning that a lot of her stuff period is NSFW! - 

I happened to have it bookmarked (keep that in mind! Simply keep bc , well, im a fan. Lol)  - I'm actually kind of surprised that noone has mentioned her in response to your post. Being that she's pretty 'well known', or whatever.. 

Anywyay, just to check her out. She goes by a couple different names. Her main one/used to use /ya could pull her up on most socials with.. is Jubilee Johns. My favorite is her FetLife. Shes has tons of journals. Most about middles/littles . Ive always seen her as an ,again,well known face for middles/(littles) and the dynamic in general!! 

Edited November 1, 2023 by _jazmynxMyddlex