Insulting people ~creatively~ !

[DaddysMonkey]

…… hi. *waves*

 

If you’ve ready any of my posts before , you know I’ve got myself an annoying best friend who I consider my brother. We have the type of relationship most real brothers and sisters have ; I can make fun of him but you can’t. Try it and you’ll see the wrath of Monkey. We are always at each other’s throats , bickering , beating up on each other and causing chaos. One of my favorite aspects of our friendship , is that we hurl insults at each other constantly. Not just insults , but just are really mean to each other. (In a loving way… we probably sound like we abuse each other to outsiders but it’s how we show each other our love). Like just the other day , he was annoying the shit out of me while I was trying to focus on a project and just wouldn’t let up , so I looked at him and said “I can’t wait till you die first.”

 

We pick on each other for fun , and come up with some pretty silly insults and make each other laugh all the time by doing it. I’m sure there’s people with real siblings , or friends close enough to be considered siblings with a dynamic similar to us..

 

So what are you favorite / silliest insults ? Do you play fight and argue with your siblings ? I’m always trying to come up with new and creative insults to surprise him and throw him off guard.

 

Some of my favorite insults ; “You are a skid mark on the underwear of life.”

 

Have fun insulting each other !

[AussieMelbourneDaddy]

[Guest Teasing Tink]

That pretty much describes my flirting style lol. Insult the person to see how much they can handle which would be considered horribly sadistic in any other context lol. But, I'm a Brat, I can't help it lol. "I can't wait til you die first" said in a dry tone would have cracked me up lol.

 

Me and my Daddy have the type of dynamic where it's endless teasing/sparring with each other in this way but obviously since we're romantic, it has the added sexual tension thrown into it. And him being the troll he is (he's an INTP, he can't help it lol), he will deliberately press my buttons just to bring out my bratty/sassy self which he loves. At which point I will hit back much harder just to get even lol. I love crafting the perfect come back tailor made, just for him lol. I like that we can joke about pretty much anything and everything, nothing is off the table. I also have a younger brother who I'm really close with and who also loves joking around/goofing off, that I can definitely tease as well. As well as a few other friends who enjoy it. 

 

The best play insults, in my opinion, are personalized for the individual based on their weaknesses/insecurities. Of course you have to decide where the limit is for the person, because you obviously don't want to actually hurt the person. But if it's harmless play and mutually desired/understood and you have that kind of trust in place, it's fair game. That being said, my favorite insults are more private like inside jokes.

 

For me, that kind of play only makes me uncomfortable if I'm not all that close with the person yet or they hit a nerve or deeper insecurity in me that makes me question them because I don't know them well enough yet. Which only happened once with my Daddy when I was first getting to know him when we were just friends. He made a sarcastic joke and I figured it was a joke but at the time, I was first getting to know him and totally paranoid about a certain something based on a past experience, that a small part of me thought "what if he's serious?" I was just not in the mood to be mind fucked about this particular thing in that moment. Under any other circumstance, I would have found it hilarious (like it is in hindsight now lol). So I had to go into some long, in depth explanation about my thought process in regards to it (totally embarrassing to me) and we talked it out no problem. He implemented a rule after that, that we would add devil emojis at the end of a text if we were joking in a type of villain/rougher way, which helped me tremendously. It offered us both reassurance. 

 

And there was only one time he was joking with me in person (parodying a type of person he finds ridiculous) and I didn't know because I was tired and in a serious mood, venting about something, and I ended up in tears because he started arguing with me as said character lol. I also find this hilarious in hindsight. He's a really empathetic person so he felt awful about accidentally upsetting me and realized after that, he needed to work on his delivery/timing lol. Usually I'm always in the mood for joking around and I love that we can seamlessly alternate between being extremely playful to more serious, in depth convos. And I love that the rare times we have a real fight, we can bounce right back into joking about it. I love the comic relief. Only backfires if I don't know it's a joke! lol It can be a fine line. But I definitely can go too far with my joking as well so that a type of after care is necessary lol.

[Guest BigDaddyDominant]

A personal favorite of mine falls along the line of...
Darwin was right and your the proof

[shadowrider]

To most down here the quickest and easiest way to slap someone in the face and sound polite is a simple "Bless your heart". For a southerner that is the nicest way to tell someone they are stupid and should stfu.

 

Some things I have told people in the past are

 

"You are a walking ad for birth control."

 

"I am certain if it weren't for alcohol and loose morals you wouldn't be here right now."

 

"I am pretty sure your dad tried to pull out and the best part of you is on the back seat of a Chevy somewhere."

[SmolAetherr]

i like to use these whoppers sometimes 

 

"how good does that window taste?"

 

a favourite scottish insult actually... ken wit. fuck it just look at this subreddit full of examples of why literally no country or culture can hope to match scotland in power

https://www.reddit.com/r/ScottishPeopleTwitter/

[Guest Account deleted]

Hey Mighty Monkey! ♥ Well.. I've tried to insult people in English before but because my own language gets in the way I always end up spitting out a series of incongruous expressions that may certainly be considered as creative but that sound more hilarious than insulting.. Alas, the half-angry, half-amused silent that follows always makes everybody involved feel very awkward…  I called someone a "Big monstrous (which I pronounced "monstrewwwusss") bumass".. And I thought that was funny so I started laughing and the guy looked at me as if I was nuts =3

 

I think it takes a very special relationship to come up with good insults and actually appreciate the effort and creativity the other puts into it!    They are not really insults in the end, but an endearing way of communicating without having to be so politically correct all the time! I don't feel too comfortable with insults but I do use a lot of swear words. When I lived in the US, I learned some useful words of course! But only very casual and boring ones like "bitch", "moron" and I must confess that my favorite one is "fucktard" for no particular reason other that it ends with -ard like "bastard" (and mustard) but there is the F*** word in it, which sounds pretty cool to my French ear. Xxx- Bee ♥

Edited June 21, 2021 by Crafty_Pink_Bee

[moondust mochi]

i don't know if this counts, but i've always loved the insult "cum dumpster". 

it makes me giggle. 

[Lambchop]

when it's inappropriate to insult someone, a creative way is to tell them to "FOCUS"  (F**k off cause u stupid)... it works well when you are supposed to be nice and you need to let out some anger.  It's also hilarious if there are some others in the room who know what you are saying because then it can turn into a game of who telling the one who laughs first to focus...