Any Asexual Littles?

[Teddybearbaby]

I am a little newer to the ddlg/mdlg community, and I see a lot of sexuality involved. However, I identify as asexual (meaning I don’t feel sexual attraction.) and I do not desire to have a sexual relation ship with anyone. Having a daddy or a mommy would be so special to me but I don’t want to be a disappointment if they want to engage in sexual activity. Any advice on how to approach someone interested in ddlg/mdlg and wants a sexual relationship? And if so, what can I say to someone who wants to have sex, but I don’t?

[D&Daddy]

You'll find all sorts of people, including asexual littles and caregivers. Just be upfront about it when you approach someone or when someone approaches you, simply saying basically what you've said here to them and letting them decide if they're ok with continuing or not. Also you should make it clear that you are asexual in general and not just as a little (at least that's what you've made it sound like apologies if I got the wrong impression). That is to say some people are asexual only when in their little space but when in their pet/middle/adult/etc headspace they are open to being sexual. So that is something you should explain upfront to avoid misunderstandings. As long as you do that you put the ball in their court to decide and that's all there is to it.

 

Side note: Don't let someone try to pressure you into being sexual, if they do that and continue to do so after you explain your cirumcstances and firmly (as an adult) ask them to stop then that's a big red flag right there.

[SmolAetherr]

you say absolutely nothing to them, simply they are not your type and trying to make them lose interest in sex to fit you is the exact same as if someone tried to make you acquire an interest in sex to suit them

 

look for an asexual partner.. look for someone you don't have to change to fit you, because 

 

1. you aren't interested in them as they are because they want sex and you don't that's an extremely fundamental incompatibility

 

2. people don't like to change when there is no benefit to them or that they don't want to change

 

I'm personally a sexual person and if someone tried to force me into a non-sexual arrangement I would be very upset because I wouldn't feel respected or valued I would feel like I'm being changed and ignored to suit them and that is a garbage feeling it truly is

Edited June 12, 2021 by Aetherr

[Lollipox]

I think that you'd categorize what you're seeking as a Platonic Caregiver/Mommy/Daddy? I'm unsure though.

There are non-sexual and asexual Daddies, Mommies and Caregivers out there.

 

I wouldn't rule out all sexual CG's, as sex doesn't define all of them or their reasoning behind enjoying being a CG/DD/MD. Cuz just as it is for Littles, they're still (generally) a CG/DD/MD whether in a relationship or not. And it's possible someone may come across your Personal (if/when you make one) and be willing to give you a chance because they enjoy the other aspects to the dynamic and the emotional bond it can bring.

 

Just be very clear about being asexual, and possibly provide information about all the things you look forward to or bring to the table in the prospect of an asexual partnership. As it helps those who are unfamiliar with asexuality see all the good things there are to offer outside of sexual activities. Take the focus away from what some might feel is lacking, and put more emphasis on the joyous things. Y'know?

 

The ball's still in their court whether they wish to proceed and contact you. So I think the bestest you can do is just be open and informative.

[Akuchiakuba]

Hello! Asexual little here! Actually, I call myself Apothisexual, since I go beyond just being asexual. I'm completely sex-respulsed, and I don't even like talking about it. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to say that despite being assured over and over that there are definitely asexual and sex-respulsed caregivers out there, I have literally never met a single one. Even though my personal has a very clear paragraph about my sex repulsion, most of the cgs that have answered it have all turned to attempting to convince me that I definitely will want it, I just need time. And none of them were willing to budge on that idea.

 

Perhaps there are asexual cgs out there, but I just about decided that if you're asexual, you might as well just give it up. My cg friend made the suggestion of taking on a poly cg so that they could get their cravings satisfied by another little and not have to turn to you for it. I'm monogamous, though, so I wasn't comfortable with that option. If you're poly, that probably is the way to go. Otherwise, I think we're stuck.

 

And maybe my experience is so bad just because I'm sex-respulsed and don't even like thinking about it. Maybe people would be more comfortable with it if they could at least get it out by talking about it, but I'm just not comfortable with that. Maybe it won't be as difficult for you. But I can honestly say that I've been in a few different communities for the cgl lifestyle for about 5-7 years now, and not once have I ever met anyone that was an asexual cg. I've met plenty of asexual littles, but not any caregivers. I wish you luck, but I'm actually considering taking down that personal and just being independent forever. I just got ghosted by someone claiming to be an apothisexual caregiver, so I'm ready to call it quits.

[SmolAetherr]

Hello! Asexual little here! Actually, I call myself Apothisexual, since I go beyond just being asexual. I'm completely sex-respulsed, and I don't even like talking about it. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to say that despite being assured over and over that there are definitely asexual and sex-respulsed caregivers out there, I have literally never met a single one. Even though my personal has a very clear paragraph about my sex repulsion, most of the cgs that have answered it have all turned to attempting to convince me that I definitely will want it, I just need time. And none of them were willing to budge on that idea.

 

Perhaps there are asexual cgs out there, but I just about decided that if you're asexual, you might as well just give it up. My cg friend made the suggestion of taking on a poly cg so that they could get their cravings satisfied by another little and not have to turn to you for it. I'm monogamous, though, so I wasn't comfortable with that option. If you're poly, that probably is the way to go. Otherwise, I think we're stuck.

 

And maybe my experience is so bad just because I'm sex-respulsed and don't even like thinking about it. Maybe people would be more comfortable with it if they could at least get it out by talking about it, but I'm just not comfortable with that. Maybe it won't be as difficult for you. But I can honestly say that I've been in a few different communities for the cgl lifestyle for about 5-7 years now, and not once have I ever met anyone that was an asexual cg. I've met plenty of asexual littles, but not any caregivers. I wish you luck, but I'm actually considering taking down that personal and just being independent forever. I just got ghosted by someone claiming to be an apothisexual caregiver, so I'm ready to call it quits.

 

 

i'm sorry you've been through an ordeal like that it seems like the more i personally explore anything that isnt DD/LG but is still under that CG/L category the less people are actually interested and im not sure if its a gradual drop off, some people i've met give me the impression its a cliff like the second you stray away from the norm you are looking for a nearly non-existent person to share it with i'm not saying this to create pessimism or negativity i personally find it interesting it raises the question of why some of these interests you would think were common actually arent, but ill leave it there dont want to derail things more

[Akuchiakuba]

i'm sorry you've been through an ordeal like that it seems like the more i personally explore anything that isnt DD/LG but is still under that CG/L category the less people are actually interested and im not sure if its a gradual drop off, some people i've met give me the impression its a cliff like the second you stray away from the norm you are looking for a nearly non-existent person to share it with i'm not saying this to create pessimism or negativity i personally find it interesting it raises the question of why some of these interests you would think were common actually arent, but ill leave it there dont want to derail things more

I'm sorry, I'm not very smart and a lot of this has gone right over my head. ^^;;; Do you mean interested in intimacy? I really didn't feel like I was that weird growing up, but when I hit high school I realized I was absolutely, definitely weird. But my big problem is that I find bodily stuff really really gross. Like, someone coming in from a tough exercise or a really hot day and being sweaty is enough to gross me out. So that's why. I feel like it's pretty simple, but I guess it's not actually that common. ꉂꉂ ( ˆ▽ˆ ) I have already read on a few forums for just people that are asexual, not anything beyond that, is that if you're gray or demi you'll probably be okay, but if you're apothi like me you either have to never be in a relationship or force yourself to figure it out somehow because there is literally no one out there who will just not. That was legitimate advice being given out to sex-respulsed aces everywhere. And a lot of people who were apothi were talking about how, yeah, they found ways to make themselves do it so that they could make their relationships work. Like you said earlier, I really don't think it's fair or healthy to ask anyone to change who they are, or to force themselves to do or not do something. So I worked a little to try to find someone that fit me, and I've just about come to the conclusion that that Ace forum was right. No matter the community, if you're apothi at least, there's just no point in even trying. It's sad, but I think it'll be okay. Being an independent little can be great, too! It's just hard not to be a little jealous sometimes, amirite? XD

[moondust mochi]

hi!

 

i'm a largely asexual little, and my regression is much more in line with age regression rather than a sexual kink!

i was upfront with my partner about my demisexuality, and She was very understanding! 

i've, of course, met those who are not, but i find that being honest about my interest and what i'm looking for early on really helps! 

[Guest Space]

I’m asexual, I think? Sex with a partner sounds simply gross: all the slime and lube and saliva and come and bacteria and whatever, yuck! And possible diseases too, and I would be scared of pregnancy all the time even though I would use both pills and a condom, and I just simply don’t get how sex could be enjoyable since penetrating with anything feels bad or like nothing, and vibrator is better than fingers outside. I don’t even want to try it because just the thought is so awful, but sometimes I read romantic novels which may have sex scenes and very rarely I masturbate alone(like, a few times a month at most, sometimes I have months totally without). I kinda like some fantasies, but I would never want to do anything with anyone in reality. Doing things with someone just isn’t appealing. Like, at all. I just want to hold hands, cuddle, hug, snuggle, kiss(preferably not on lips, or at least without tongue), and simply be close both mentally and physically! I want to love and be loved but without the scary sex part! I don’t know if my thing counts as ”properly asexual”… I wish there existed some Mommys/Daddys/Caregivers like me, but I guess it doesn’t look so good…

Edited July 14, 2021 by Space

[DerbyNerd]

Hiya! 

 

I'm a demisexual little but when I first was talking to my daddy I told him I was ace (seemed easier to explain and it was early in the conversation - and then I forgot to redefine that I'm actually demi). He was completely ok with having a completely non-sexual relationship with me! Like when we talked about it later and I realised I hadn't told him I'm actually demi he said that he would have been completely fine with never doing anything sexual because he loves me and that's enough. So CG's that are ok to be completely non-sexual do exist.   

[AVery452]

I am a demisexual little and I know that eventually if I find a partner that they will respect my boundary's there are plenty of littles that use little space to cope!

[Pieplup]

i'm asexual but i'm not repulsed by sex. I'm just ont sexually attracted to people./

[daddymind]

I'm a very sexual person but as a daddy I'd be fine with a non-sexual role. I hope it's not inappropriate to say this here but I actually like the thought of having to suppress sexual desire and be "pure" as a caregiver. I like turning sexual energy into service energy, if that makes sense. I'm sure there are sexual people out there who would be happy to fulfil a non-sexual caregiver role.

[littlesparkpony]

I consider my self asexual, and possibly kinda sex-repulsed, i call anything regarding the topic "naughties". But I know when I first started talking to my caregiver (who is now my fiance so there is hope!) I was just very upfront about it. He asked questions and him and I have kind of just figured it out as we have gone along, but he is okay with it. And before I met him I had met a caregiver that was also asexual, so there is hope for that too! It may be rare, but they are out there.

[ForeverFluffy]

I’ve actually met ace CGs on here before. They’re typically very sweet! Though it is just a little bit hard for some people, as your interests and theirs may not align! Simply be upfront about it. ❤️

[darkhairedboy]

I'm currently questioning if I'm asexual because I go long periods of time feeling sex repulsed. I only have experience with vanilla relationships and would much rather have a DDLB relationship because it seems like it would be much more fulfilling. I'm not saying I'm completely opposed to sex 100% of the time...it's just not something I think about for long stretches of time, if at all. I can probably go months without thinking about or wanting to have sex, and the few people I've dated have complained about it. It's all very complicated and I've been trying to put my feelings into words for years, but I feel somewhere between asexual and demisexual and sex-repulsed asexual.

 

I feel like I need more experience in general life before I really know if I'm ace or not.

[Kitten&Spice]

Hello! I myself am considered more of an age regressor but I am also demisexual outside of my littlespace!

 

Ddlg is in the bdsm lifestyle and many will see it as a kink. If you are honest about what form of little you are; in your case asexual, then this is a step towards finding a good fit for you. We can’t expect certain Doms to change as we can’t ask littles to change! If a dom is looking for a more sexual little then it is one less fish to pick in the pond!!

 

That being said it can make it extremely difficult to find a fit. But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist out there! I have found it hard to find a Dom who is not searching for sexual littlespace! And on top of that I lean more towards women now that I have gotten older! Everything takes time and I am sure you will find a dom who can understand the type of person you are and share the same love you seek!!