DDLG as a natural progression in a relationship?

[uncreativeautomaton]

Hey all, so my boyfriend and I are thinking about trying some DDLG stuff into our relationship and I'm doing some research. It seems to me that we're already doing a lot of this stuff already?
 
He tucks me in bed when I ask and makes sure I have my favourite blanket
He makes me my favourite breakfast (nutella toast with strawberries)
He fusses over me whenever I get hurt, no matter how big or small
He give me a safe space when I have really big feelings to let out.

He calls me his princess.
 
Having said all that, it sounds like DDLG is just the next step.
 
What I'm hoping to do is have him enforce rules (around junk food, ordering in, bed time etc) and just in general establish good healthy boundaries that littles need.
What I want is more soft things (stuffies, onesies etc), colouring books, and yes, boundaries and limits.
 
So am I crazy here? Is DDLG the way to go?

[Lollipox]

Firstly, that’s really lovely that he does all those things for you already. ^^ It sounds like a caring relationship.

 

Since he already does some things, it might be simple enough to incorporate ddlg further into your relationship.

There is quite a big step going from a vanilla relationship that has elements to it, to becoming a ddlg dynamic though. And I think those things are what prompt a partner (not yours necessarily) to feel uncomfortable with it. It’s still dependent on the individuals involved though, and he naturally seems to like doing sweet things for you.

 

So imo I think if you can ask him about helping you with healthy choices (re: junk food, takeout, bedtime) that might be a good way to start, without labelling it as DDlg. See how that goes?

 

As for onesies, you could just buy some because you like them. And if he thinks they’re cute then that’s great too. ^^

It’s not a particularly weird item of clothing, as there are women’s bodysuits (they’re just usually kinda boring colours lol). And some people wear them in public under their pants/skirt as a t-shirt, depending on the print.

 

Same with colouring books! Luckily over the last 6ish years adult colouring books took off, so I don’t think it would be too abnormal if you wanna do it. If you’re shy to say you like Little colouring books, you could just say you wanted simpler designs and adult ones are too detailed so take forever.

 

Idk, just some start-up suggestions if you’re nervous to enter a discussion with him about it right away.

But let us all know how you go? ^^

[SmolAetherr]

yeah alot of people would say you two are doing ddlg already which if you're looking to do it with your partner i would say you have been doing it already just without the label 

 

what i would advise though is keep on the same page as your partner communicate alot make sure they are comfortable and safe and aware of what's going on also give them the space to figure out what they like also and try to listen to your partner when/if there is anything they want to try but keep yours and your partner's limits in mind as/when you discover them learning how to give proper aftercare is a big one for both of you

 

i hope it goes well just try to manage your expectations because bdsm is alot for outsiders to process and many people are sadly misinformed so doing your research and trying to figure out what you want and laying it out helps since focusing on the needs and desires you both have is better than trying to fit some category

as i often say labels are made to fit people not that people should fit labels 

 

and with that i would say welcome to the community, one of the best ways to get involved in a meaningful way is to hang about make some friends and chat to people see what people enjoy doing and talking about and the values people tend to have

 

you may want to encourage your partner to do that also!

 

have a good one, cheers

Edited June 7, 2021 by Aetherr

[uncreativeautomaton]

Thank you both for your warm welcomes and informative replies!

 

We're a kink friendly couple so that's not a barrier thankfully. I'm looking forward to the kigurumis, plushies and snuggle time!