Very thankful for this community (CW ABUSE)

[kaleidopink]

So, I've been in this community for not too long, and I'm already grateful. I feel like this gives me the opportunity to heal my inner 'young-self' (as I see myself either as a little or middle some days).

 

I wouldn't say my childhood was ABSOLUTELY horrible, but I did deal with a few unpleasant experiences before age 10. Also add in the fact that I'm not the biggest fan of my IRL dad (for good reason), this community makes me way more comfortable than I've ever felt.

 

I hope to finally slip into little space and be as though I never witnessed hostility or anything of the sort. And I hope to find (I can't say 'daddy' so I'll call him...) a 'big bear' that helps me let my guard down and make me feel okay to be totally vulnerable. Someone who won't be verbally or physically abusive. Someone who'll take on the role of the protector and use their strength for good.

 

It's hard for me to fall into littlespace, for a couple of reason. Like, if I'm doing it right, 'cause I feel like I should actually be in a specific mindset. It also has to do with me not feeling 100% comfortable since I'm normally around family so I try to do it at night.

 

Sometimes, I just want to cuddle and feel safe, especially around men (but that's a different topic in itself). I'm glad this community exists 'cause I feel a bit safer letting that little girl out and allowing her to heal. I can age regress (which I learned is what I've been doing all along), and get into little space (or at least try, 'cause I'm still figuring things out haha) without fear of judgement. Of course, I still feel slightly apprehensive, based on some of the negative criticism from outsiders of this community, but I'm learning not to take what they say so seriously.

 

Excuse the rambling and all of that, I'm just expressing how I feel at the moment. I wonder if anyone else has or is currently feeling something similar at least.

[Lollipox]

I'm really happy for you that you've found somewhere you feel a lil more comfortable being yourself.

And your post is very well written.

 

I think I relate to what you're experiencing, even after being part of the Community for 5-ish years.

 

You seem to be going about it the right way and putting thought into the "why" behind what you wanna do. And it's wise to be keeping Little time to nighttime.

I hope your inner Little grows and heals soon. ^^ It sounds like it would be really great for you.

[MasterPhotog]

kaleidopink, we too are happy to have you as a part of this wonderful community.
Wishing you luck in your search for very your own 'Big Bear'. 

[lilbabypanda]

Yeah this community does that for me too, it's an amazing place ! I'm sorry you had to go through that stuff, but it's great that you're starting to feel better ~ I live with my family too, and that makes getting that privacy very difficult as you mentioned. I haven't been able to regress in a couple of months because of that, but I'm so so so incredibly proud that you're giving yourself the chance heal and regress !! 

 

I'm sending you allll my good wishes and lots of good luck so you can find your Big Bear who'll protect you ! 

[kaleidopink]

Thanks guys for being so welcoming it's greatly appreciated!

 

To be truthful, it's still taking some time for me to fully accustom myself into the community, especially as I have a nasty habit of caring WAY too much of what others think.

 

"...what a gross community!"

 

"...do you know what you're sexualizing?!"

 

"...next thing you know, you'll want the real thing!"

 

It's been bothering me for quite some time, despite me knowing that I'd never hurt anyone. And admittedly, I'm also not comfortable with some things due to it simply being out of my comfort zone/preferences, which might add to the feelings.

 

This community speaks to me for the reasons I explained in the original post, and especially 'cause I'm really into cute things in general. I've also had a child-like and youthful personality, so this place fits me.

Hopefully, I can get over me being a total people-pleaser and fully embrace my 'little' side.

Edited May 30, 2021 by kaleidopink