Probably the Worst Person EvEr

[LiddleGreyBB]

So, I'm not entirely sure how I got put in this position.
But I currently have three people who all want to be my CG.


One of them just bought me a day-collar from etsy. Ironically, this is also the one who I am most likely not going to end up with, seeing as they think it's weird that I'm little and in the next two months I'm moving two and a half hours away from them.

Another one just broke up with his long term girlfriend......... and despite us being best friends for the better part of six years, he was in a relationship for four of those years. So you can sympathize, I hope, with my hesitation. Further, (and what I believe makes me a terrible person) the last time he came to visit before he broke up with his girlfriend HE INITIATED fooling around. Despite me explicitly stating my desire to stay good. Despite my telling him I wasn't really comfortable with that when he had a significant other.... he got what he wanted, much to my (and eventually his) dismay. In his defense, he did tell his girlfriend about what happened. After they broke up.

And then there's option number three.
And option number three. Is kind of the best option.
He literally told me he just wants to take care of me.
And he's new to everything DDLG but he says that he's into it.
And tbh I haven't been in a proper DDLG relationship in for five years... and that one was... problematic at the best of times. However!!! The Problem Is He's Too Good at Making Me Little I'm Never as Productive as I'd Like Around Him Because I'm too Busy Getting Flustered at How Much Bigger Than Me He Is And How Pretty His Eyes Are But At The Same Time Time Is That Really An Issue.
In the past it wouldn't have been, I would have melted and fallen for every ounce of him in an instant.
But it's not the past anymore... and I'm afraid those experiences have made me jaded. All I see is his lack of college education coupled with a half-thought plan on attendance, the people he surrounded/s himself with, the career path he has chosen... the fact that he's a SoundCloud musician..... It's all just a bit much. I'm not even sure that I want to be with anyone right now. Even though he said he wouldn't call what we had a "relationship" because he, too, has just gotten out of a long-term relationship. The difference between his and option number two's is that he did not cheat, and it was an engagement before they ended things. Once again, you can see how this is a sticky situation.
But he wants want to take care of me so badly.
And I am not usually one to turn down being taken care of.
And when I move, we will go from being the better part of two hours away from each other to a mere 20.
And, to my own credit, I have told him about option number two, and when he comes over, I plan to tell him about option number one that's only really a half option. He asked me if I thought I would cheat on him, and my response was that I never think I'm going to cheat on someone. He seemed okay with that answer, but I'm not sure how okay I was with it.

The entire thing is messy. I just needed to get it all down somewhere, honestly.
Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be greatly welcomed, but, as the subject implies, I am not expecting encouragement in regard to the current situation.
Advice on navigating this, however, would be.... monumentally helpful. Just please be kind. I am v sensitive.
Thank you to all who read this

[SnuffySky]

Firstly I’d like to say you’ve gotten put into quite the pickle. And my advice or whatsoever one may call it may not be worth anything since I’m all so new to being a liddle. 
but option one wouldn’t really be able to take care of your needs if he thinks you being a liddle is weird. Also shouldn’t he have waited until you accepted him as your CG to buy you a collar?
second one I’d be cautious about him simply because he waited until after he broke up with his ex to tell her about the situation with you. 
The third guy sounds pretty awesome except how can you cheat on someone if they aren’t in a relationship with you. 
all in all if you’re not sure if you’re ready you’re probably not. Hesitance comes to you for a reason, you may not be able to recognize now because of those eyes lol. 
hope I help and good luck

 

also you’re not the worst person ever:)

Edited May 29, 2021 by SnuffySky

[Guest UnicornPuff]

There is a fourth option: none of the above.

 

Find yourself someone who meets your needs and wants as a mature, productive person AND as as a Little.

[Accountable Daddy]

I'm going to have to agree with the above comment. Probably best to avoid all three.

The first is an obvious problem. The second would probably do best to mature a bit. And the third has the best of intentions it sounds like and might give a quality relationship, but is severely lacking in being able to follow through with what it sounds like he'd like to do.

Honestly there's a lot of us that are out there who can give you a proper, long lasting DDlg relationship and able to provide too. On the other hand it might be worth looking at what you have to offer too and what is making you feel like you need to settle for being with someone who you won't be happy with.

[baby_k]

You don't choose your partner like you would choose an item from store: it is not comparing qualities and seeing which model is best. Even trust me, I really can understand where you are coming from and why this sort of thinking is appealing

 

When you start comparing different people and their qualities, and sort of think that they are your only option..... I would say none of them really are the one for you. Think how you would feel if someone told you "I have 2 other littles who want to be mine, now I try to think which one of you is best". I'd assume you wouldn't feel much love there.

 

If you just look for someone to take care of you, like a service, then different story. But to me it seems you are looking for something more, and the confusion you have does tell you something as others above have stated.

 

Wouldn't you want to be fully in love with someone? And not just choose someone "okay" and who is available right now? Think also how being in relationship with someone prevents you from meeting someone who you would actually really be into.

[Vampiress]

I think baby_k is totally right. You keep calling them options, but your partner shouldn't be someone you think of as an "option." You're comparing three people and weighing them against each other which tells me that you're not ready and none of them are the right one for you. If any of them were right you'd know and not measure them against other people like that. I'd say save yourself the trouble and consider just turning them all down and get yourself to a place that you're ready and find someone that you don't doubt so much.

[AussieMelbourneDaddy]

Finding the ‘right fit’ caregiver isn’t some kind of Pokémon battle where you throw prospective partners into a battle and the winner gains the prize.

 

All the above comments offer reflective advice that is well worth considering.

 

You are not the worst person in the world and I don’t see a need for you to be so hard on yourself. Confusion over ‘options’ can be somewhat overwhelming, but if I can point you to your own words... even you don’t think you’re ready for a relationship.

 

Care givers aren’t options and littles aren’t a prize to be won (or bought). Work out what you need from a partner and caregiver, then add in the wants as well. Once you know what you want and need in a prospective partner/caregiver, you will be much better equipped (emotionally) to find the right fit person.

 

I wish you all the best of luck in finding all that you need and want... and if you are truely in tune with both of those elements, you will find all that you desire too...

 

Hope this helps... AMD

Edited May 29, 2021 by AussieMelbourneDaddy

[LiddleGreyBB]

There is a fourth option: none of the above.

 

Find yourself someone who meets your needs and wants as a mature, productive person AND as as a Little.

sh*ttt u right b.

[LiddleGreyBB]

I'm going to have to agree with the above comment. Probably best to avoid all three.

The first is an obvious problem. The second would probably do best to mature a bit. And the third has the best of intentions it sounds like and might give a quality relationship, but is severely lacking in being able to follow through with what it sounds like he'd like to do.

Honestly there's a lot of us that are out there who can give you a proper, long lasting DDlg relationship and able to provide too. On the other hand it might be worth looking at what you have to offer too and what is making you feel like you need to settle for being with someone who you won't be happy with.

.... good question. I'm not sure why I feel the need to settle ,  other than the influx of friends getting married and having friend lives turning into familial, and in burying my head in the books for school I neglected to invest in that area of my life. Now I feel like I need to play catchup... but I'm not exactly sure what it is that I'm catching up to.

Thank u. 

[LiddleGreyBB]

You don't choose your partner like you would choose an item from store: it is not comparing qualities and seeing which model is best. Even trust me, I really can understand where you are coming from and why this sort of thinking is appealing

 

When you start comparing different people and their qualities, and sort of think that they are your only option..... I would say none of them really are the one for you. Think how you would feel if someone told you "I have 2 other littles who want to be mine, now I try to think which one of you is best". I'd assume you wouldn't feel much love there.

 

If you just look for someone to take care of you, like a service, then different story. But to me it seems you are looking for something more, and the confusion you have does tell you something as others above have stated.

 

Wouldn't you want to be fully in love with someone? And not just choose someone "okay" and who is available right now? Think also how being in relationship with someone prevents you from meeting someone who you would actually really be into.

you're absolutely right. thank u