Immediately attached...

October 28, 2015

So, I'm a new daddy, had a little for only a few days. She asked if she could call me daddy, on day one. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I wasn't completely comfortable with it at first, but she kinda grew on me quickly. I guess I'm here to ask if it's normal that I'm getting attached to her so quickly? I just want her to be comfortable, and happy. Again, is it normal to feel so attached so quickly?

October 28, 2015

I don't think its wise to become so attached so soon. DDlg is a BDSM lifestyle. Its not something you jump into with the first person you meet/chat to and anyone who had been a part of the dynamic for long or who has any experience will say the same.

Just like a vanilla relationship its based on communication and trust. You wouldn't call someone your bf/gf after chatting for a few hours right? So how can they become your Daddy/little that soon?

Your admittedly new to the concept I suggest you take the time to read the forums and do a little more research and chat with some more experienced people before rushing into something that could potentially hurt someone's feelings or could also lead you into being suckered into something with a false little who's either got no idea what she's doing by rushing into it or may have harmful ulterior motives.

Protect yourselves folks, don't be fooled or hurt by rushing into something that takes time just because your excited about a new experience.

October 28, 2015

Hello there and welcome to the forums!

In this sort of lifestyle, it is easy to cling to certain people quickly. From experience, being in little space can be a very vulnerable state so when someone shows love and care to you when you're in that space, you want to cling to them and never let go. However, this isn't always a good thing. This is actually something I struggled with for a while and I had to tell myself to slow down, pace myself. The role of Caregiver is very important and isn't something that should be rushed into. If you weren't absolutely thrilled with the idea, I would have suggested that you waited. More likely than not, she was just super excited to have someone acting the Daddy role, but that doens't mean that they are Daddy. Just slow down and take the time to make sure you two know each other and this is what you both really want. It's a big committment and not something to be taken lightly!

Thanks for the response! I know that this is a huge commitment, and I'm more than okay with it. What bothers me is, that I have had a couple simple role play scenarios, I've never had a "real" little. I'm curious if it's normal, or okay to be getting attached so quickly. I'm starting to realize that I may be a little obsessive, is that normal?

October 28, 2015

This dynamic is absolutely adorable and it's easy to want to obsess and get attached but again, please take your time. The forums has a lot of information for someone as new as you. Your little might want to consider joining too. The two of you can learn together! But this is a real relationship so treat it as one. If you just met someone at work or at the bar and started dating them, would you be saying I love you within a week? Probably not. So keep that in mind!

That's what I'm nervous about, when I'm around her, the dom in me takes over, I NEED to take care of her... I think about her more through out the day than I have anyone else (in vanilla relationships). Any tips on slowing down? In the back of my mind, I feel like I'm rushing her too,even if she won't tell me. I mean if I say /do something that makes her uncomfortable she has told me, I just worry.

October 28, 2015

Well, the problem you are facing is because the relationship seems to have rushed. There have been no talks about limits, rules, and etc. I believe, and it seems something you're struggling with is, you don't seem to know her and I doubt she seems to know you as much. I have no idea, how you really ended up accepting this relationship, like did it feel just exciting to you, you were attracted to her physically just, like I don't know.

I would suggest to spend more time on communication, get to know her better, this is just like any other real relationship. Feeling comfortable is just one part of it, there is also the emotional aspect of it, trust, faith, loyalty, etc, don't just make the relationship just about sex. Do you know about her likes, dislikes, fears, her emotional state, her living situation, her past, I doubt you know everything about her, it just seems unlikely. Don't rush it, I wouldn't want you or her to end up getting hurt.

I was talking to a little yesterday, what like after 2 messages I already got like how nice and perfect I was, yet there were many red flags with her. Mostly one liners, not asking me questions, sometime skipped questions I asked, I felt she was rushing things. She said she was "new" and inexperienced and it just felt like she would just go with any daddy. I felt she wasn't serious so I didn't bother anymore.

October 28, 2015

9/10 she'll stop talking to you after a few days

October 28, 2015

Well, the problem you are facing is because the relationship seems to have rushed. There have been no talks about limits, rules, and etc. I believe, and it seems something you're struggling with is, you don't seem to know her and I doubt she seems to know you as much. I have no idea, how you really ended up accepting this relationship, like did it feel just exciting to you, you were attracted to her physically just, like I don't know.

I would suggest to spend more time on communication, get to know her better, this is just like any other real relationship. Feeling comfortable is just one part of it, there is also the emotional aspect of it, trust, faith, loyalty, etc, don't just make the relationship just about sex. Do you know about her likes, dislikes, fears, her emotional state, her living situation, her past, I doubt you know everything about her, it just seems unlikely. Don't rush it, I wouldn't want you or her to end up getting hurt.

I was talking to a little yesterday, what like after 2 messages I already got like how nice and perfect I was, yet there were many red flags with her. Mostly one liners, not asking me questions, sometime skipped questions I asked, I felt she was rushing things. She said she was "new" and inexperienced and it just felt like she would just go with any daddy. I felt she wasn't serious so I didn't bother anymore.

I agree with some of what you are saying. I guess I need to talk to her about some things that I don't know. But I did talk to her for a while before we got into this. I wouldn't say I love her, I am getting to know her. But I agree is moving to fast

October 28, 2015

9/10 she'll stop talking to you after a few days

That was a harsh truth...

October 28, 2015

But still a very likely truth. Littles are sensitive and often cautious so someone willing to jump in and call you Daddy is probably just looking for a thrill and will be on to the next one and lose interest quickly.

DDlg relationships take so much time.

October 28, 2015

That was a harsh truth...

It's happened to me a bunch of times

October 28, 2015

We talked about it, she says she has never moved this quickly either, we are going to show down. After reading some of these replies, I kinda feel like I'm being used for my affection though...

October 29, 2015

Its always better to move slow and make sure you protect yourself (and this includes your feelings). If someone is not interested in getting to know you before rushing into something its possible that they are just attention seekers. This works for men and women. Anyone can be deceptive.

Not to say that's always the case but it is possible and something to be aware of.

October 29, 2015

We talked about it, she says she has never moved this quickly either, we are going to show down. After reading some of these replies, I kinda feel like I'm being used for my affection though...

Hey don't start thinking bad things, you don't want to start doubting your partner without talking to her about it, it won't end well. It's a good thing you decided to slow down and you're definitely making the effort in communication, good signs there. I really hope everything will turn out well for you!

November 1, 2015

I am the type who gets attached very quickly so have to set rules for myself so I don't end up hurt and heart broken.

1. A girl is not allowed to call me daddy until we are serious and committed to one another. That would take a few weeks or several months. it just depends.

2. Love is a very strong word for me. I do not throw that word out there unless I truly mean it and feel a strong connection with the girl and see something being long term.

3. I am not afraid to be blunt and open with someone. I have to make sure we are on the same page so I am not getting attached to someone who doesn't feel the same or isn't ready emotionally.

4. I have to realize relationships take time to build and grow. Patience is a flaw of mine and if I don't have patience it will lead to failure.

Hope this helps and gives others some ideas to think about.

November 1, 2015

Daddy and I said I love you on day one. That has never happened to either of us before. I mean day one of being together face to face, not talking online. But that only started four days before.

I am the first to laugh at the very idea of love at first sight etc, that was until it happened to me.

We felt a deep connection almost immediately. Destiny. Souls finally finding each other, all stuff like that.

We were always meant to be together.

Its only wrong, or weird, if it feels wrong or weird. If you are both happy, go with it. No need to question it so deeply.

November 1, 2015

I think this question is a really good one. I'm glad I saw this post. Personally, I've had this kind of thing play out two ways (and I wasn't necessarily the one moving fast).

1. One person feels this intense connection, they move fast and the other person freaks out and starts to back off.

2. One person feels this intense connection, they move fast and it fizzles out quickly.

It's not like I've had extensive experience with this stuff. I do think that these relationships are intense because there is so much closeness and intimacy you share early on just because you have to discuss roles and expectations when you begin. There are married couples who have been married for years that don't talk about sex, discuss what they really need, or have pet names for each other. This dynamic tends to bring out all those soft and squishy feelings, you can't help but feel all warm and cozy...and intense. We all need to guard our heart. Good luck!!!

November 1, 2015

I agree with the other posters.. Asking to call you 'daddy' so early is a definite red flag. It's okay that you feel attached, because that's a natural human response. But, maybe it is that you are both attached to the idea of having a daddy/little, rather than actually feeling attached to each other?

There's so many hundreds of lovely people you have yet to meet though! Best of luck! <3

November 2, 2015

I got a video of her saying "I'm sorry" she is gone... I wish you guys weren't right, it makes me think differently about how my mind works... I feel like, I got attached because how intense ddlg is, taboo in itself. Setting limits and what not. But needless to say, most of you guys are right, she's gone, and I'm left here thinking "what the hell just happened" pardon my French. Maybe I'll find my own little girl, and it will actually be love, not just an attachment, to her needs.

November 2, 2015

I'm biased on this topic. I agree with taking things slowly. But as MyDaddyMyWorld indicates it can also occur to you almost without you having control over it. Love at first sight does exist. I think the nuance lies in online contact. It is so easy to write things trying to please the other end. That's a potential trigger to rush things. My advice would be to take it slow. If you're only online maybe even build in days with no contact. That will give you time to reflect and take things from your inner perspective rather than impulsively go with the wave of that moment.

November 3, 2015

Hey Bigginxi, sorry to hear she left. Break-ups are often rough.

I agree DD/lg relationships can be really intense and it can be tempting to become really attached early on. Personally I've never found that relationships that move super fast to ever last. If a little girl wants me to be her daddy on day one, she's usually moved on by the next day and won't even respond to me. I usually talk to someone for at least 2 weeks and get to know them better and see if we are compatible before agreeing to become DD/lg, and I'm planning to start spending 3-4 weeks to get a better idea of if we're compatible and verify the little girl is able to satisfy my needs.

For example, I need a little girl I can see and talk to. You'd think this would be pretty much a given for any relationship - you wouldn't go to a first date wearing a ski mask or only communicating via text - but in fact some little girls refuse to send me a picture of them even after exchanging messages for a few days, or refuse to talk to me on the phone/Skype/FaceTime even after texting or exchanging emails for a week. And some potential little girls will tell me they can definitely talk on the phone/Skype/FaceTime at least once a week, but when it comes to having our first phone/Skype/FaceTime call, they suddenly won't be able to do it - they'll get too nervous, or their computer will mysteriously break at just the wrong time, or some other excuse. Or the opposite will happen - our first call will go great and we'll enjoy talking and spending time together face to face on Skype for hours laughing, flirting, getting to know each other better, and after the call we'll continue texting throughout the week and getting to know each other better, but then the next week when I ask if we can Skype again she'll suddenly not feel like it or won't be able to for whatever reason, and then after a few weeks of communicating only via kik it becomes apparent she won't be able to talk on the phone/Skype/FaceTime again.

So yeah from now on I've set myself a limit in that I won't agree to become someone's Daddy until we have had at least a good few weeks of regularly talking together on the Skype or on the phone and I feel confident the other person will be able to satisfy my need for communication.

November 3, 2015

I have always been a believer that each relationship has it own speed. I never put any type of time frame on any and have let them go as they do. I think each person dynamic is different so with some it may naturally go slow with others may be fast. But never go at a speed where you do feel uncomfortable.

November 19, 2015

Having attachment issues myself I can tell you from experience that self-disciplining yourself in that department is really healthy for you and any relationships.

November 20, 2015

Hey there,

I agree with all the other posts her as well it is way to soon to start calling someone daddy to soon you want to keep that for long as possible, you want to get to know someone really well first and you want to save it so that it really has deep meaning be called daddy or calling your little baby girl.

to me it sends out a red flag calling that out so soon.

1) I would firstly recommend doing alot of Research into the dynamic of D/S relationships

2) Read and watch videos about DDLG on YouTube

3) ask Questions on here

when I am with my sub before I am called Sir/Daddy we most know one another really well and I must have a understanding of her limits and wants requirements so that I can figure out how to be the best daddy/sir

November 20, 2015

Hey Bigginxi, sorry to hear she left. Break-ups are often rough.

I agree DD/lg relationships can be really intense and it can be tempting to become really attached early on. Personally I've never found that relationships that move super fast to ever last. If a little girl wants me to be her daddy on day one, she's usually moved on by the next day and won't even respond to me. I usually talk to someone for at least 2 weeks and get to know them better and see if we are compatible before agreeing to become DD/lg, and I'm planning to start spending 3-4 weeks to get a better idea of if we're compatible and verify the little girl is able to satisfy my needs.

For example, I need a little girl I can see and talk to. You'd think this would be pretty much a given for any relationship - you wouldn't go to a first date wearing a ski mask or only communicating via text - but in fact some little girls refuse to send me a picture of them even after exchanging messages for a few days, or refuse to talk to me on the phone/Skype/FaceTime even after texting or exchanging emails for a week. And some potential little girls will tell me they can definitely talk on the phone/Skype/FaceTime at least once a week, but when it comes to having our first phone/Skype/FaceTime call, they suddenly won't be able to do it - they'll get too nervous, or their computer will mysteriously break at just the wrong time, or some other excuse. Or the opposite will happen - our first call will go great and we'll enjoy talking and spending time together face to face on Skype for hours laughing, flirting, getting to know each other better, and after the call we'll continue texting throughout the week and getting to know each other better, but then the next week when I ask if we can Skype again she'll suddenly not feel like it or won't be able to for whatever reason, and then after a few weeks of communicating only via kik it becomes apparent she won't be able to talk on the phone/Skype/FaceTime again.

So yeah from now on I've set myself a limit in that I won't agree to become someone's Daddy until we have had at least a good few weeks of regularly talking together on the Skype or on the phone and I feel confident the other person will be able to satisfy my need for communication.

Any time a computer "mysteriously" breaks, or the video chat "won't work" you are being catfished, and are very likely talking to a big, hairy dude.

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