Feeling uncomfortable or attacked.

[Dollie Darling]

Okay, so I believe I've talked about this before, but I'm going to again and I'll thank those who read through this in advance.

 

 

 

I have been a babygirl and a little/middle for a little over a year now. I myself and (28) and my little/middle age doesn't actually have an age as I am not a hardcore age regression. I respond to cutesie games, I respond to cute tv/cartoons, I have pacis, shakers and rattles, I have stuffies (a lot of them), blankies and of course coloring supplies and activity books. I am currently a college student (an inch from my BS) and I have a lot of adulting/Big things to do a lot. I can see that I've been little before in my life, my teenage years were filled with stuffies and cute things and baby girl behavior and sometimes even little behavior like nibbling fingies or sucking things. Some trauma in my adult like (An ill parent, I'll save the details) made me forget that for a while and that's why I've come back around to it.

 

The reason I say these things is I feel it's good to give at least a little background. I may not be crazy experienced in this all, but I'm not brand new anymore either, not with the amount of research and attention I've put into this as soon as I learned I benefited from this. I have 3 Daddies (As I am Poly) and they are all very good, sweet and offer me attention and caregiver levels of this as well as I offer them my submissive side so they feel in control and have that dominant/power imbalance over me. It works well this way. I maintain the home like a good house wife and they work. I cook and clean, they take care of my baby girl side and little side.

 

YES there is a sexual element. NO it is not when I'm little.

 

 

So the reason I'm writing all of this;

 

 

Lately I've been seeing a LOT of hate for DDLG community, I've been currently using Instagram for where I purchase my gear, there are a lot of talented creators there and Etsy isn't allowing pacis and such lately. But that isn't the only place I'm seeing this kind of aggression.

 

 

And I am seeing certain derogatory terms thrown around like it's common use at the DDLG community, claiming that anyone participating with in it was always going to harm children, shouldn't be allowed around them and is actually disrespectful to trauma sufferers. As someone who is highly empathetic, this is doing damage in a lot of ways. The thought that I could actually be hurting someone else is already not great, but also the need to have to look at myself that hard to wonder

 

"Is what I'm doing wrong?"

 

"Are my Daddies actually wrong or hiding something?"

 

 

ETC.

 

 

 

I wanted to know what other littles AND Daddy doms think or how do they feel about this? How do you cope with this kind of hate growing and growing, tips on accepting that we're not doing anything wrong?

 

 

 

I'm aware that there are people who would use this community for that kind of problematic need, but they are few and far in between. And the same can be said of any other community because bad people will use things as they please, but that doesn't make all of us bad. 

I'm just having some struggles staying strong against this kind of targeted attacks. I was curious how others do it so well.

[SmolAetherr]

i dont honestly care, despite the outward message of tolerance and acceptance the undertone has been even more hate and bigotry these days

 

people not involved in the community have 0 say in what goes on in it purely due to the fact that they don't know what they are talking about

Edited May 13, 2021 by Aetherr

[Accountable Daddy]

It doesn't take a lot to tie the idea of DDlg into inappropriate acts. I myself used to completely avoid DDlg specifically because I felt that and wanted to have nothing to do with it. Even though we all here know that's not what it's about, that's how it's going to look from the outside. Frankly there's no doubt some people into these inappropriate acts who are into DDlg, but I imagine that's about as often as the general population anyway.

 

But honestly just like any other kink, it's best to not worry about nay sayers. And there will always be some. Taking a glance though, are they shutting down selling pacifiers on Etsy? Doing a quick glance, it looks like they're readily available. And considering far more sexual items being available out there on the site, I'd be shocked if they cracked down on that of all things.

 

If it makes you feel any better, people on the internet tend to attack everything they can. For instance, I've been part of traditional relationship communities and boy do we get some very nasty comments and actions against us regularly. Even something as normal and common as that is being treated like it's bad.

 

Long story short, some people are dicks and they are just finding an easy target. Which DDlg is definitely one of them. As much as it sucks, you just have to suck it up and have a stiff upper lip. Assuming you're not actually doing anything blatantly wrong, you have nothing to feel bad about. And those same people bashing DDlg or anything else you might be into probably are into some stuff that you'd think is unsavory anyway.

Edited May 14, 2021 by Accountable Daddy

[Guest princesslovelace]

I'm just going to straight out say it...screw whatever negative people say about DDLG. Yes there will always be a hint of negativity and controversy around it, but we all know none of those things arent true. You're not harming anyone if you partake in DDLG. We all know it does not relate to pedophilia and that it's something between 2 consenting adults.

 

Never listen to any of the hate, if DDLG makes you happy then continue to do what makes you happy no matter what people say ♡♡

[Guest Account deleted]

First.. it really saddens me that you have had that kind of negative experience.. But the hate and ignorance of uneducated idiots should be of no concern to you.

 

There is a dark side to the DDLG community. That's true. We all have to deal with that… But the truth is that there is a dark side to any community at all, even if said community is just a family of three considered to be a top-notch prime example of what our society deems as respectable. All you see is the beautiful house and tidy front yard. But have a good look at what happens inside and I can list you at least a dozen things that would make our dark side look like Rainbow Land in comparison.

 

What negative people say about the DDLG community doesn't define the DDLG community, it only defines themselves. They spread their negativity everywhere about everything. We are not their target, this whole world is their target, and they see all the bad things outside, only because they're struggling with all the bad things they have inside. These people will hurt you, when you have never hurt anyone. They will make you feel like you should be ashamed of yourself, when they should be the ones put to shame for their ignorance and intolerance.

 

You have done nothing wrong.

 

You have in your life people whom you love just the way they are, who make you feel loved just the way you are. PERIOD. Stop right there. For believe me, that is all that matters.

[Vampiress]

As someone who used to hate and avoid DD/lg, people often react poorly to that which they don't understand. From the outside it can definitely seem like it would be about sexualizing children, and it takes a willingness on those peoples' part to do their research and learn what it really is (which is what I did to get past my fear of it). I was abused as a child a lot and the community really scared me for a long time because I felt it would just attract predators. Yes, sometimes it does, but so do any other sex related communities. I'd say a big majority of the community has no intent to harm children in that manner and are against others doing it. As long as you know you're not doing anything wrong, and the people in your life aren't being predators either, then you are totally fine and shouldn't worry about what others think.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Disrespectful towards trauma sufferers? Um, no. Since when do we have to get approval from everyone else about what we do in our private relationships? Just because someone is offended or triggered by something, doesn't mean they have the right to control people who they have no relation to. It's fine if they don't want to participate in the dynamic within their own relationships because of course that makes sense. No one is making them anyway. But to try to say everyone else needs to fall in line because they have wounds that need healing, is quite frankly, ridiculous. If they get so offended by such things, they don't have to read about it. It's really that simple. You're not responsible for other people's pain. It's that person's responsibility to find healing for their trauma, not make everyone else walks on eggshells around them. Hiding from things never brings about healing anyway.

 

Even if you wanted to be "little" while you were being sexual, there would be nothing wrong with that. A lot of people just don't understand fetishes that are outside the norm or why people have them. That they are really just various emotional states you are trying to create through different means (ironically, sometimes due to trauma) and that playing them out can often feel very satisfying and healing to a person. The same goes for DD/lg outside the bedroom.

 

If everyone looked at fetishes through a literal/moral lens like that, we'd all be immoral. I think certain urges create too much cognitive dissonance in some people because they fear their feelings mean something they don't. Like, what if I'm an abusive monster because I have the desire to spank my partner? It's a very black and white way of viewing things.

 

If you look at most vanilla relationships, there's usually some element of a parent/child dynamic present as well whether people realize that or not. DD/lg is just playing it up and indulging in that aspect more, in my opinion. 

 

In summary, haters gonna hate. I would say it's better not to focus on it -- especially if you're empathetic and tend to over identify with other people's thoughts and feelings or prone to internalize shame and self-doubt. Don't let them in your head. It will only give other people power over you in that way. As a sensitive person, I can relate, so I just have to be more conscious of where I focus my energy. People will always wind up projecting their own stuff onto anything and in the end, it will have absolutely nothing to do with you and your own relationships. It's just a boundary issue.

Edited May 15, 2021 by Teasing Tink