Reassuring my little self

[bbubbless]

Hi all, 

 

Lately, I've been struggling with trying to reassure myself, or my "Little self" whenever I do regress into a younger headspace. Despite the fact that I am already struggling getting into that headspace and trying to stay in it, once I am actually in it, I am overwhelmed with these thoughts of "Is it okay for me to be like this?" or "Is it okay for me to act like this and to want reassurance and comfort?"  

 

It's hard to articulate how I feel, but once I'm in that headspace, it almost feels wrong sometimes. Not wrong in the sense of "I shouldn't feel or act like this"  but more wrong in the sense of "Do I deserve to be in a safe space like this and to temporarily forget about everything?". I guess you could say that a lot of it stems from my lack of self-worth and other things, but I was wondering if others experienced a similar situation like this or know how to deal with it. 

I should also say that I am a little in secret and that no one knows about it, nor do I have a CG. I guess its natural to want some reassurance from time to time, but without that "support"  around me, I've found it really hard to reassure myself. 

 

Thanks all, 

 

- Bubbless

 

[Guest Account deleted]

Oh sweet Bbubbless! ♥ ♥ ♥ I absolutely understand what you mean and I am going to say it loud and clear: IT IS OKAY to be like this and to act like this and I wish I could give you all the reassurance and comfort that you need!! But I also know no matter how hard I try, this is really something that you will have to figure out on your own.

 

I fully understand that being a Little in secret without a partner to support and comfort can make things really hard, on the other hand, you're allowing yourself to explore your Little Space on your own, you are on this Forum reading and learning and you ask questions when needed and that is really brave! Good job you!

 

Although I do have a supportive partner, I do experience these feelings sometimes, because of low self-esteem yes, but mostly because of my age… 

 

Society's expectations, the media, past traumatic experiences.. All that has a huge impact on us. So seeking reassurance is normal. Be patient with yourself.

 

Try to relax a little bit and see things from a different angle.. Going to Little Space is your very special thing, and you do it because you want it to feel good. And it doesn't hurt anyone right? If you think about it, even people who are not Littles have different ways of coping with everyday life and we all do create a different headspace for ourselves where we feel good and relaxed. Some people collect stamps and go to their room to stay alone and contemplate their stamps for 2 hours and that's great. Some people go walk in the woods and become mushroom experts and that's great. See what I mean..? You, Bbubbless, you do your thing, you can create a whole different world in your mind and that's your Little Space and it is GREAT. Period.

 

If you give me the choice between Stamps, Mushrooms and Little Space, I choose Little Space! SO what?

 

I say it's great and I am sure everybody here will be extremely supportive and encouraging because we're all just like you! You're not alone! That, I promise!! ♥ HUGS!!

[FlowersAndAPrincess]

I totally understand!!! But just remember that it isnt hurting anyone so there isnt anything wrong with it! You enjoy it and you like it and thats wonderful!!!! Normally what I do when i feel like that is i write it down on a piece of paper then crumple it up and BOOM all the bad vibes gone gihihihi

[Vampiress]

I just want you to know you're not alone. I feel the same way a lot and I know a lot of other littles do, too. It's a lot of insecurity talking, and it always makes me sad that other littles feel this way because even though I doubt myself I would never think another little isn't deserving. Wish I could feel that way about myself, too. Just know that you are valid as a little and it's okay. If you're having trouble with it then know it doesn't mean you're not a little, it just means you need a little work towards whatever it is that's preventing you from getting to where you want to be. You can do it though, I believe in you.   

[Guest Teasing Tink]

How would you respond to this question if a friend asked you the same question? I'm gonna assume the answer is "yes." It really just takes learning to see all parts of yourself as a friend rather than an enemy, so you don't become fragmented. It is a human right to feel safe and to feel pleasure.

 

Do you tend to define your self-worth by how productive you are? Sometimes people wind up internalizing their parents' voices (if they were harsh in that way) and become their own inner critic as an adult because of it, never feeling like enough. But life isn't meant to be an endless chasing of a carrot on a stick. This may not be the case for you, it could be something entirely different, but it sounds like you probably know what it's rooted in. The point is just to find healing for whatever caused this split and false beliefs inside of yourself. It takes time and patience but start with positive self talk -- as cliche as it may sound.

[bbubbless]

Thank you all so much for the responses! Its somewhat reassuring to see that I am not the only one who feels like this, which still sucks:(( But thank you all for the kind and reassuring words! The lack of self-worth is a big thing that has always been present in my life, now more than ever for some weird reason, but it has to do with many factors (internalizing things that have been said to me, e.g. parents etc.) I just cant wait to overpower the little voices in my head, but thank you all for the responses!