Pull Ups Help

[Blueybluex]

So I finally told my daddy I was going to start wearing pull ups after we do stuff bedroom stuff so I’d feel less messy, and while he has been supportive to an extent, all he is saying is ‘whatever makes you comfortable and right on’ I explained to him I do feel weird about it liking this kind of stuff and it was really hard for me to open up about, and therefore I maybe feel a little disappointed he’s not being more encouraging, is that wrong of me to feel? He does have trouble getting into a daddy headspace but he is trying really hard in that sense, maybe the whole pull up thing is too much for him? I don’t know what to do, I just feel anxious and stupid about it all now. I even said to him I tried one on and I feel really cute! And all he said was ‘right on’ I don’t know, I just feel a bit down

[Lollipox]

It’s rare for an adult to be into other adults wearing diapers.

I personally wouldn’t do it with the expectation that my partner be into it.

If they weren’t, then it would be something I do in my solo little time so I don’t make them uncomfortable.

 

I don’t think he’s being unreasonable, but I also don’t think you are either. Do it because you enjoy it and it makes you feel cute. But don’t pressure him into it. Just as you wouldn’t want to be pressured about something he was into but you aren’t. Y’know?

 

Sorry that it’s making you feel bad, you shouldn’t though. Just try to understand. And maybe ask him for his honest opinion about it, with preparation for him to say it’s not his thing. I’m sure it doesn’t mean he loves you any less as a person.

[Guest Account deleted]

Hey.... ♥ First, it's okay to feel down. His reaction wasn't quite what you expected and now you're not so sure anymore and you feel lost, that is completely understandable and your feelings are valid ok..? I promise. Then, congratulations for opening up to your daddy about wearing pull ups, that was pretty brave, good job you!! I see that you are trying to focus one what really matters here: your daddy is being supportive and he is trying really hard to get into a daddy headspace for you. And that is the key to the door you're trying to open. Now... I get it that his answer wasn't completely what you wanted it to be, you feel a bit embarrassed and anxious, maybe you even regret opening up about something so special, and at the same time you feel a little bit guilty.. That's a lot to handle on your own! And it's normal and it will happen again, it's part of the process of exploring together and it should encourage you to communicate, share and listen. No, it is not wrong to feel what you feel and no, I don't think the pull up thing is too much for him, he is probably processing his own feelings. He probably thinks that, since it's a little bit hard for you, he should show that it's no big deal and easy for him. Even if it's not. But you will never know until you two sit down for a completely calm, open and honest conversation about this. Don't give up ok? All is needed here is a little communication and understanding, and it will work out! ♥

[DaddysMonkey]

It sounds like he is just neutral to me. It’s not like he gagged and was like “you’re on your own with that” , rather “right on”.

 

Obviously there could be more context we are missing , but a lot of my guy friends talk and act like this. Does he usually react this way with other things ? You show him a coloring you did , does he say “thanks right on?” Or is he super embellished in his compliments to you with other things ?

 

I can totally understand feeling disappointed, when you’re trying something new and nervous / excited about it most people expect their partner to match that excitement. I don’t think he sounds put off really , he probably just doesn’t know how to react or is neutral like I stated.

 

My opinion would be to straight up ask him , like hey you seemed kind of in the middle when I mentioned wearing pull ups. Is it something you don’t like ?

 

You may get an answer you don’t like , but then there is no question about whether he likes it or not and is or isn’t interested. When we’re nervous or weird about liking things and wanting to try them , it puts most people at ease to know someone there behind them saying this is okay , this is cool.

 

If his language is just kind of boring (my brother uses very unenthusiastic language so I totally get it) maybe explain that it makes you feel like he is uninterested and maybe even insecure. Mention that you would like more encouragement in this area of your space. Talking always helps ^-^ communication is key.

 

I hope everything works out and you love your pull ups regardless.

[Blueybluex]

Thanks all,

 

I did mention to him also that now I felt stupid about it and that his response of right on made me feel anxious and his response was ‘was this something I was supposed to feel strongly about’ and I just cowarded and said nooo. I don’t expect him to feel strongly about it, I don’t know what I was expecting really. He also wanted to make sure I hid them in a discreet location in our bedroom, I didn’t think it was something to be ashamed of but he is making me feel like it is I think maybe I am having a sense of jealousy that other littlest daddy’s love to embrace this side but mine doesn’t and that he does have a hard time talking to me like he’s my daddy so I’m feeling a bit like I am trying to cling onto anything I can to make me feel little since he can’t seem to get me there?

[DaddysMonkey]

Do you guys live alone , or do you live with other people ? If you live with other people , I think it’s understandable he wouldn’t want someone like his parents for example, seeing diapers laying around the house or bedroom.

 

Just because he doesn’t want it out in the open that you’re into pull ups , doesn’t equate to you having to feel ashamed. Rock the pull ups ! Even if it’s on your own for now. You mentioned he has a hard time getting into that headspace as a daddy , is this his first time being a daddy ? If so , he’s probably trying to find his own confidence in this just like you are. For some people it’s natural , for some people it takes a little effort to be a caregiver. Not everyone can jumó into this and be the ideal dream of what you want them to be , ya know ?

 

I’m sorry you feel so discouraged , but maybe try talking about it again ? Having insecurities is completely normal , but if you shut down and tell him no , he shouldn’t feel any type of way about it and hiding your feelings because you’re nervous is going to give him a veiled version of your truth. Not your inner truth. This is going to lead to any answer he gives you being the one you don’t want because you didn’t speak your full truth.

 

I also think it’s normal to feel a little envious that others have daddies to be supportive in this , but it’s also important to remember that people have preferences. Maybe he doesn’t like pull ups and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or discourage you from doing it , or maybe he is just neutral like I stated. Which , with the other response he gave you it sounds like he is pretty unbiased. Doesn’t love it , doesn’t hate it. That doesn’t make him wrong , or you wrong. I would also try to focus on being little for yourself and trying not to rely too much on your partners opinion. Obviously your partners opinion is important , but it’s not end all be all. Don’t stifle yourself because you feel like you’re not getting what you want , and if it’s upsetting you this much it could be time to consider how compatible you guys are.

 

Either way , if you want to wear them I say wear them. Do what makes you happy for you.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

What I'm hearing is: you don't naturally feel like it's something to feel weird or ashamed about, but when you see his reaction, you get tempted to feel stupid about it if he doesn't match your excitement. I would just tell him the same thing you're telling all of us here. I know it's hard because it makes you feel vulnerable, but if you want to give this relationship a real shot, it will require you to be more transparent and get specific about the concrete things you are needing from him to say/do to feel loved and supported. Make it clear so there's no confusion. If he responds by telling you that he basically can't or doesn't want to fulfill those things for you, then you have to ask yourself what it is you are getting out of this relationship that makes it worth staying in. And how important is this to you? Because it's okay if you want more from your partner but you obviously can't force someone to do things they don't want to do or to be more compatible with you. He can try his hardest to give you what you need/want, but the question is: will it ever be enough for you? It's just a compatibility question and it can be difficult to confront this but you're not wrong for feeling the way you do.

Edited April 27, 2021 by Teasing Tink

[Vampiress]

It sounds maybe like you are looking for validation through him, but I just want you to know that what you are into is valid and you don't need his or anyone else's approval. I know it sucks that he's not as encouraging as you'd like especially if you see other Daddies in the community responding much more eagerly, but I think you're still very lucky that he isn't saying no or reacting in a disgusted manner. A lot of people would react really negatively to that, but he is saying that as long as you're happy then right on... so he's at least accepting this side of you and not shaming you for it, but it sounds like it's clear it doesn't do anything for him. It's hard to find a partner who will 100% match your interests, but the next best thing is one who is supportive and lets you indulge without worry of them making you feel bad or telling you're that you're wrong. I guess at this point you need to decide if it's enough that your partner supports your interests without actively engaging in it himself, or do you need a partner who is much more willing to engage in certain things. Also consider if he's into anything that you're not super into but you give him room to indulge in his own way outside of pushing it on you then you'll see that you've probably done the same thing to him except maybe he is more confident in his choices and doesn't require the same validation.