Jaded by imagination ?

[DaddysMonkey]

....... hi. *waves*

 

I’m unsure if jaded is the right word even ? Enthralled , world weary , lagged , hmm. Anyways , I’ll get to it.

 

I enjoy books and movies , very much. Escapism is one of my most cherished attributes but one of my most hated about itself. I can easily get sucked into , and away when reading or watching something that captivates my energy and soul. It’s wonderful to be able to shut my brain off and live in this fantasy world in my head , but it also leaves me feeling extremely depressed if I get too sucked into it. Trying to come back to earth fucking sucks.

 

Some good examples of this are when I watch Star Wars or read books like Dune , or Stephen King books such as Sleeping Beauties.

 

I have freedom to play whatever shows and movies I want for customers at my job , as we are technically a lounge. (People don’t stay as long or often because of COVID lately but still a lounge)

I re watched ALL of the Star Wars in chronological order for two days at work. Yesterday I finished the last one..... I feel so fucking depressed and jaded. I’ve never met anyone else that experiences this kind of dread , going back to the real world after watching or reading something that really holds part of your heart.

 

I don’t think I can truly explain the feelings that go through me , but when I get sucked into movies or books like that ... it’s like I’m actually there. A part of the story , I get extremely attached to the characters and genuinely wish I could escape and live in their world with them instead of this one. When the movie ended at work yesterday , I got a flood of emotions and started crying a little bit. I felt really stupid because I hate crying , but I felt like I couldn’t help it. I am not even really sure what the real reason I was crying is. It’s like my head fills up like a balloon with hot air , my face gets hot , and boom tears came. Then the rest of the night following into this morning I just continue to think about how badly I wish I could live in that universe instead of this one. It’s like someone put me in a paper bag and shook the fuck out of it.

 

I don’t know , maybe I’m nuts or maybe I’m just really tired today from lack of sleep.

 

Does anyone else experience this awful dread or jaded feeling when the escapism is over ? Is there even a word for this ? Every time I type jaded it feels like the wrong word to explain it... anyways. Thank you for reading and thank you for anyone else who chimes in.

[(not) Narancia]

I think i can relate to you in some capacity. I finished watching the entirety of DragonBall a few weeks ago and in the back of my mind i was kind of dreading the end coming closer. That show has stuck with me ever since i was a kid and to me, Goku embodies that childlike essence we inevitably lose to one degree or another.

 

I can't tell you how often my eyes welled up throughout the whole experience. The whole franchise leaves a lot to be desired, but it holds so much weight in my heart.

 

I admit I'm pretty easily touched by fiction, especially when there's a scene of a character being pushed beyond their limits or being encouraged by those around them. It just touches me in a way i can't properly explain.

 

Not sure how to cap this off, but yeah. I get pretty invested in whatever i decide to pick up. I like thinking about what i would do if i was the main character or their friend. How would i go about their problems or just live life in general? It's easy for me to zone out and think about it for ages. There's endless possibilities, until something inevitably rips you out of your trance and you're thrusted back into the real world. Man, what I'd give to be able to just visit all these unique worlds and talk to the characters that helped shape me as a child and young adult.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

You're not alone. I'm not sure how familiar you are with typology, but I think this is pretty common for INFJ's and INFP's especially to experience (not that other types can't experience this) when under stress or depressed or really, just in general when mentally healthy. Both types tend to have rich imaginations, very much in their head, more detached from physical reality, and high empathy/feel things deeply. Like, vicariously living through other characters or getting very attached to fictional characters or a fantasy world. I've heard this so many times for these types and, I'm no different. 

 

I definitely get attached to certain fictional characters/worlds and even cried over at least one character when they died. It's not necessarily a negative thing as I said, I experience it as a positive/fun thing when I'm happy -- just the product of feeling deeply and having a rich imagination. I've always been prone to getting super absorbed in the things that engage me as well. I find it very mentally and emotionally stimulating. But in the past, I definitely experienced it as a negative thing when I was depressed and felt disconnected from others in my life. It scared me when I realized I felt more emotionally attached to fictional characters than anyone in my real life at the time. I don't feel that way now, but back then that realization just depressed me because I knew I couldn't be truly satisfied that way. But anyway, I guess it was mission accomplished in a way because works of fiction are often meant to touch the audience on a deeper level.

 

Also kind of reminds me of how some people got super depressed after watching the movie Avatar because they had to return to the "real world" when it was over:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/11/avatar.movie.blues/index.html

 

 I guess it's sort of like maladaptive daydreaming except with maladaptive daydreaming, you're creating your own fantasy world rather than getting absorbed in someone else's creation(s).

[LeftyGuitar]

I kinda feel the same way. I can often get sucked into a show or movie I'm watching if I really like it. Same with video games, if I really like it or can get really into, I think I'm like in it. It makes the experience more immerseful. Especially if I relate with the characters or I really enjoy the setting. Going back to reality sucks. Escapsim is such a great tool.

 

In a world full of pure imagination.

Edited April 15, 2021 by LeftyGuitar

[Vampiress]

I've felt this way my whole life, though it doesn't usually go as far as crying. Escapism was especially important to me growing up in a negative environment. I think this is why I have had a habit of going back and rereading books every now and then, or rewatching tv shows and movies I really enjoy. People I know with other personality types don't really understand why I do this, but it's because I found myself enthralled by something and I wanted to get lost in it again. Also, every time I go back I discover new things I missed the first time. The only thing I know to do about it is to get lost in the next thing, but it always leaves me with that feeling of craving for something else more than this world has to offer.