I want to be uninterested in DDLG

[JJBee]

I feel as though I’ve been trying this lifestyle for a while now, and it never works out for me. The older I get, the more I realize I can’t continue to think I’ll be able to keep this as a main factor in what I’m looking for in a boyfriend. I need to know if I can remove or silence this part of me. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

[DatDaddy]

It depends on how important, or how influential the lifestyle is to your every day well being.
Is it making you happy, or would make you happy? Then keep pursuing it.
If it's not really making you happy, and you don't think it will even with a successful turn out... Then it could be repressed.

My guess though since you are asking here then it's something you really need but are feeling hopeless about because of bad experiences. I'd say keep trying. Don't give up just yet. It's still early in life. Just make sure when getting into a new relationship that you keep a side of caution since there are sadly people in the lifestyle who are abusers, and that makes it harder. The less time you waste with the wrong choices the better. Hopefully I helped in some way, shape, or form? 

[Guest Princess_McBunnyhay]

I think important thing would be to think is the pressure to not wanting to like it coming from an actual need from inside of you, or is it possibly social pressure like societal pressure to learn away from it to have more people to date possibly. If it is difficult to find a good Daddy. 

For me dating options are very limited I feel, but I don't mind because I only want to find one perfect person. I accept that finding a Daddy is more difficult than finding a "normal boyfriend" if I can say it like that.

For me it sounds like bad experiences and not succeeding in this lifestyle  make you want to silence DDlg part of you... but I am not sure. Do you think that might be it, because this is making dating difficult? And relationships  difficult? Then I think in my opinion it is not a thing that is easy to silence because your psychological needs are still there. I hope I explain well... I am a bit sleep deprived. 

 

I feel funny sort of as I am 36 and I think DDlg is the most important thing for me to look for in a partner. It is because it defines a lot of the relationship dynamics for me: I want a provider type of a man and I want to be a soft homemaker. I need a man who understand the not so grown up parts of me because I know these won't go away in many years to come. Being clingy for example is ok for Daddy doms but not usually for vanilla men.

Edited April 14, 2021 by Princess_Bunnykins

[DaddysMonkey]

Hi there ! *waves*

 

I feel old all the time , so I feel you. The older we get , especially if humans are single .. most the time there is this feeling of impending doom that we will forever be alone.

 

Can you remove or silence this part of you ? Sure , if you really wanted to I’m sure you could repress it. Is that what you really want to do though ? Or are you just upset at your situation so you feel like just giving up ?

 

I think it’s important to remember that dating is hard no matter what. Vanilla dating is already a struggle especially with the pandemic right now. Add on kinks , preferences for looks and age , family compatibility ect. It’s no cake walk for anyone , so why settle and give up what you really want and what makes you happy just because you don’t have what you want right in this moment ?

 

I hear a lot of people ask if they can just get rid of their little side , usually I say yeah. You can. Some people it’s just engraved in their soul , so even though they don’t actively try to be little it will still happen. Others can completely repress it and ignore it. It’s definitely a choice you can make. It’s a matter of asking yourself if you’re wanting to silence it for the right reasons. Is it just because you don’t have who or what you want , or is it negatively effecting your life ?

 

Your profile says you’re only 25 , I’d say just hang out and chill for a while. Some people don’t find their partners till their in their mid thirties or later. There’s no rush man , just be you and do what makes you happy. If being little makes you happy , then fuck it. You don’t need a partner to be whole as a little or as a person in general. You’re plenty enough all by yourself dude.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I think more context is needed to provide you with better ideas/suggestions, so the best we can do here for now is guess/throw out ideas. My thoughts just based on what you said:

 

-Perhaps the people you are trying this lifestyle with are the problem and the lifestyle itself isn't to blame as incompatibility obviously exists for non-kinky people too.

 

 -Another important factor if this needs to be said: don't invest in people who don't invest in you -- the effort you are willing to give should be at least matched. Hold onto your standards (so long as they are reasonable). 

 

-Whatever you resist, generally persists which is why trying to will yourself to not think of something usually doesn't work.

 

 

So, I'm not sure why you feel this way entirely but, do you feel like wanting this lifestyle is an unrealistic expectation because the people you have encountered thus far haven't lived up to your standards etc.? Because I can tell you: if there's something you want, it exists out there (even if you haven't encountered it yet) and the rest are just offering you contrast for what you're *not* looking for. It's all valuable experience nonetheless so don't look at the things that didn't work out as failures is my advice. There are attentive, nurturing men who will happily fulfill this role for you. Then it's just a matter of discerning compatibility and quality. Some people take the approach of leading with the lifestyle (searching this out first), others will find someone they have a connection with first and then see if they're interested in this lifestyle. Different things work for different people. The best way that has worked for me is finding compatible friend(s) because then there's not this pressure or forcing things to turn into something romantic. Usually you can tell pretty early on if there's at least chemistry/compatibility in values.

 

I know it's easy to get discouraged along your journey. To me, it sounds like you're burnt out. I'd suggest you take at least a little break from stressing out about all this. Stop trying. Just let go and relax so you can re-center yourself before you put yourself out there again. You can do this in whatever way works best for you. Obviously you're trying to feel better or you wouldn't have reached out here and that's a great first step. Sometimes just listening to encouragement is all it takes. 

[still-little-jenn]

I used to wonder if I'll ever outgrow this part of me.  If anything it's evolved into a deeper fantasy, and I've become more comfortable opening up about it when intimate.  When I first found this site, I saw a post about others who wonder if they're too old for this.  The little part of me deep down just feels right to me, even though my age on paper makes me feel kinda dumb for not having outgrown it.  I used to think I was alone in this, and finding a community online helped me feel better about myself.  

[WholesomexDaddy]

I always feel the same as a single daddy dom, I love how at peace I am well being a daddy but it's hard to have that mentally when you are all by yourself. I personally would never tell a little to change, it doesn't seem right to try and change the way someone is. If it makes them happier and feel at peace with themselves, then why not let them be. I believe it's finding the right person for you that excepts you fully. If the others don't, then I wouldn't pay no attention to them , give them anytime or love.

[0Naughtys Kitten0]

Hi!

 

Does this have to do with feeling older or the perception of being older?  Just curious

[still-little-jenn]

Hi!

 

Does this have to do with feeling older or the perception of being older?  Just curious

For me, I don't feel my age, but I think that I would be judged for still having the mindset at my age.