DDlg and Mental health

[Guest maya_bbg]

so I've had this--I guess you can call it a topic since I'm writing it on this section of the forum...I've had this topic on my mind for a while.

 

I've come to realize and quite recently as well, that ddlg and everything that it is really helped me a lot mentally, which of course prompted me to write about it and see who else out there can say the same~

 

for me, i struggle a lot with issues of control and ddlg allows me to have the best of both worlds. I get to be in control (a little/sub holds as much power as the dom) but on the other hand the full reign of control is given to my dom and that brings me so much peace and clarity. I get to exist in a space where that struggle is no more.

 

I also struggle with trust and intimacy and I've found from the short (yet insightful) last ddlg relationship of mine, that I come to be more open and forthcoming when I am allowed to be a little as well as just me. I now find that trying to 'date' others outside the community is difficult and often leads to the triggering of these issues but when I'm with someone who understands my needs and in turn knows that they work well with theirs, trust and intimacy come easier to me (ofc such things still take time to be established, I'm simply saying it's easier when with a dom)

 

Also from the same relationship, I've learned that my anxiety and panic attacks are easily soothed with proper aftercare and simple acts like telling my dom i wanna hear their voice at 4 am and have them call me (I used to text my last dom 'tell me not to cry' and he'd text back 'don't cry, babygirl, tell me what's wrong?') because simply my dom telling me not to do something, makes me immediately want to stop doing it (that may change in other contexts tho hehe~)

 

I'd love to go on but I would also love to hear about what anyone else has to say about this (and maybe if you can relate to some of the things here~)

 

Thank you for reading this far, lovelies, stay safe!

[daddymind]

It's so important what you raised about feeling allowed to be open and your little self, without judgement. I will never be caught off guard by my babs being little and she can trust me to respond to it appropriately whenever she enters that space. I want her to just let go and be whatever she feels, without any embarrassment, no matter what comes out. I want her to feel that whenever she feels little I am responsive to that. It's easy enough because as soon as she enters little space I immediately enter daddy space.

 

By giving her the control over this, and adapting with flexibility, I feel it allows her mental states to be accepted and flow as they naturally arise. So she doesn't have to worry about whether or not it's the "right time" or if it's appropriate. The foundation of working through any mental health issues is acceptance of what arises and when. And I love helping to cultivate a safe, trusting environment for that.

[Vampiress]

I can agree with you that a stable and healthy DD/lg relationship can do wonders for one's mental and emotional health. A DD/lg or BDSM relationship requires so much trust and intimacy, and when that works out it can be an amazing and freeing feeling. I do find because of how these relationships are and how deeply they touch us that when it goes wrong it does create a multitude of other more hurtful problems. For me, I feel being little really pushes me to just be myself even more and do a lot of inner searching and self discovery. It also pushes me to seek more honest and open relationships of all types with the people in my life including friends. I would also find it hard to date outsite of the community, but not impossible.