General Advice for New Daddies

[Kaiser]

Get to know each other outside of the dynamic first.

 

Way too much instant Daddy and princess here. Then a week later one is "heartbroken because I lost my forever Daddy/princess/little.."

[Guest VikingLord]

New here

[KenshinVahl]

Hey, new daddy here. and i have a very big question to ask, so as of a few weeks ago i made a grave mistake... in a call with my little i had ignored her... and knowing how terrible that is know it explains a lot of her attitude, and well i was wondering if anyone could Assist me with trying to fix my mistake. i already admitted to my mistake and i feel terrible about it. but i cant help her become little anymore... and i want to fix that, because im jealous others can turn her little but me her daddy. we do have a distance problem and i haven't been able to save up enough to visit her yet. i love her, so please any other caregiver's please help me figure out a solution. -KenshinVahl

[daddyinprogress]

sos guys i need help my little and have been having problems connecting and being heard by each other part of the problem was me not know how to be a good caregiver. so how do i fix this ive been reading up on ddlg and her pet spaces and i still feel like i know nothing please help.

 

[Guest cyb]

Compiled a list of tips out of this thread for myself up until here. Thought someone else might appreciate the condensed version:

 

As a Daddy I want to

-------

- **MAINTAIN OPEN COMMUNICATION AND TRUTHFULNESS**

- **TAKE IT SLOW**

- Ask my little to specifically write out what she is interested in from the relationship

- Be my littles best friend, not just her DD

- ALWAYS treat my little with respect

- Interact with and talk to other caregivers

- Encourage my little to find and interact with other littles

- Be PATIENT with my little!

- Get to know my little and what her likes/fears/hopes/dreams

- Be responsible for helping my little find her happiness when she loses it.

(No one can make anyone else happy, but be a *Cause*, be responsible, for helping the Little find herself again)

- By loyal to my little!!!

- Express concerns directly with my little; she can back me up and make me feel good as a Daddy!

- Shower my little with affection.

- Love her like crazy and always tell her. **Over use it!!**

- Give my little space when she needs it

- Follow through with punishment

- **Be consistent**

- Be firm when necessary. Don't allow the "But daddy..." thing to get to you too much. **No means no.**

- Take care of her big side!! It can't be all about her little side, she has big needs as well.

- Accept that I'm not always right, and own my mistakes.

- Do things for her pleasure, instead of just your own.

- Bring out the best in her!

- Know EVERYTHING about my little! Shoe size, favorite color, menstrual cycle dates, favorite food, how she likes her eggs...

- Always let her know when you are proud of her. Praise is positive affirmation and she loves it!!

- Remember that I am not entitled to my little's submission. It is a gift.

- Remember that my little can be just as big at her biggest as she is little at her smallest.

- Make. Good. Puns. (daddy jokes!!!!)

- Ask my little about small details of the day and share with her the same.

- Have a "Safeword" not just for sexy time but for all the time. When spoken, stop and talk. Not to be used lightly, for fun, or for discipline.

- Never demand respect without first giving it.

- Set up rules and guidelines for my little so she knows what is expected.

- Let my little try to fix you when I'm not feeling good, even if that means too many band-aids on your knee if you scraped it

- When she's in little space read her stories. Try to make storytime a regular thing she can look foward to on specific days of the week, and make them saucy. We've heard all the Disney Princess clichés and Little Red Riding Hoods and all that. Make up unique ones.

- Memorize her nervous habits, her sad voice and the things she hates doing.

- Ask her if she's okay if you sense anything wrong with her, and comfort her when she has to do uncomfortable things; inevitable things, like waking up early and walking a while to school, not things like homework and chores. Those are things you should be strongly advising her to and not letting her slack off on.

- Dress her. This may or may not be something she'll like. But if she does, subtly advise her on what to wear if she's little. Tell her to put on her favorite shirt if she's sad, tell her to change into old clothes if you know she's about to go outside and play or do something messy like fingerpaints or baking.

- Give her nicknames and make a habit of calling her by them.

- Surprise her. Things can get boring in LD, so keep things fun and sweet by sending her cute poems and things you love about her, silly selfies, new stories on days where there's usually no storytime, send her things without letting her know so she's surprised with a new stuffy or book or dress, etc.

- Be gentle and comforting with my little

 

 

As a Daddy I **don't** want to

-------

- Be scared to ask questions; the best Daddy is one that isn't scared to learn stuff.

- Act like a dom right off the bat, daddy is earned, dom is learned

- Think that what you are doing is either right or wrong.

Communication -> Learning -> Harmony

- Express disappointment without listening to my reasoning.

- Hide anything from my little

- Ask my little to call my Daddy. That is earned.

- Refer to myself as Daddy until she calls me that.

- Punish out of ANGER. Discipline comes from loving place.

- Forget it's still a relationship. She may call me Daddy but in many ways she's also my girlfriend ---> wife.

- Fake it if I'm not happy; my little might worry that she has done something wrong.

- **Ignore her.** There are times when I just have to shut my phone off, but let her know I'll be back soon if that happens.

- Get upset when my little is upset! I am my littles rock at all times.

- Yell at my little. **EVER.**

[Guest cyb]

Apologies for the mixture of first second and third person. Some of these suggestions came from dds some frome littles, and some I tweaked to read for myself.

[PrincessSnorlax]

The main advise I would give is communication. Communicate with your little and vice verser, what you expect what you don’t expect, wants and needs. It’s all about communication on the both parts. I know myself when me and sir have miscommunicated with each other it tends to lead to misunderstanding which can then lead to upset and anger. Just talk talk talk. Maybe even set a weekly or monthly date to just go over the dynamics and be sure you’re both getting what you need and want from each other. Talk about what you’re enjoyong in the relationship and anything that happened that wasn’t liked as much as other things. Talking is essential

[Princess Rosa]

My little is really bratty and likes to disobey rules. Any advice on what I do? Im new to this and still learning.

[Batdad8992]

Hey everyone! New to this and had a few questions! My little has some mental issues like thinking to much or th8nking I don't care! I'm lost at what to do.. I ask her what I can do to help but she isn't sure how to tell.. How do I get both her big side and little side to open up.. We do bubble baths color together and so on.. I love her like crazy and will try anything to help her! I know it takes time! But having other daddy's to talk to would help a lot.. I just feel like I'm alone with this! Anyone have any ideas?

[Gingerbread D@ddy]

I'm still new to the scene and learning more each day. Recently my little and I spoke about taking physical things to a new level...she was concerned as she hadn't really seen any evidence of me taking control or confidently initiating things. We spoke about things we both enjoy and she thought I hadn't moved forward because I was "shy"...I thought the same of her lol just shows that communication is KEY!! I was also quite offended that she didn't think I was "taking control" and leading enough...I sulked (not a good Dom reaction). I thought it all over and realised that she's actually just giving me a green light to explore as I please...I just have to ensure that I do!! In conclusion... don't spend time sulking or questioning. It's not attractive and can potentially weaken that essential trust!

[The_Joe]

Hello everyone. I'm very new to the ddlg life. I am starting to get into a relationship with my best friend and she is very interested in the little lifestyle.

After reading quite a bit, I've noticed I already have a caregiver mindset in my past relationships and this fits perfectly with my personality. My problem is that I know next to nothing about the ins & outs and basics of a ddlg relationship. I've been reading as much as I can and talking extensively with her, but could really use a resource for some for the details.

I want more than anything for this to go well and don't want to screw it up.

Can anyone point me in the right direction for getting started?

I greatly appreciate you wonderful people and any advice you can give.

[Snapp3r]

Compiled a list of tips out of this thread for myself up until here. Thought someone else might appreciate the condensed version:

 

As a Daddy I want to

-------

- 

 

 

As a Daddy I **don't** want to

-------

- 

 

 

Long time listener first time caller. This is an amazing collection and I tip my hat to you sir. Thank you for compiling and contributing, this is a great resources for all. 

[Dustinmcguire1]

I’m in need of help. My girlfriend recently told me that she is a little. Now my first thought was that it is quite creepy in a way but I decided to look into it. I’m still not 100% sure how I feel about the whole thing. She calls me daddy often and that’s about it. Nothing else I’ve read up on has come up in our relationship so far. I’ve told her I’m not sure how I feel on it and she told me not to worry and that she will have someone else be her caregiver, but I want to fufill her needs. Also her caregiver is male which also scares me even more to think that she will fall for him eventually. It would mean a lot to me if someone could help my situation to better my knowledge about the topic and improve my relationship. Thank you. Edited February 20, 2019 by Dustinmcguire1

[Guest Mr Mister]

Thank you for this thread! Every single comment is helpful! Im fairly new to the ddlg. I've recently been exposed to it by my little. i dont know alot yet but first things I learnt were,

 

1. Ddlg isn't about sex. It's a life style which might involve sex of the dynamic is right.

 

2. The little puts so much love and loyalty into there daddy's. To break there trust is to break there heart... stay loyal

 

3.although a ddlg relationship appears the daddy has the power, it is the little who chooses there daddy and should make the general guideline for the relationship dynamic..

 

I am fresh so if I'm wrong please tell me.

Thanks again every one for your comments

[Okuda99]

Hey, so I'm new to the ddlg community, I actually got into this community after my little told me to research before we decide to start a relationship. I've learned that with the type of person I am, being a daddy is just what I need, but, I don't know what questions to ask my little. So what questions as a new daddy should I ask?

[Daddyknight720]

I'm still new to being a daddy but just some advice I've come to realize is great for everything is to observe and ask question. Cause me and my little have been dating for about a year and a half and were friends before that and we just recently found out we were both into this. We wouldn't know if we hadn't asked. So if I'm not sure or want to know something I ask it, even about something we've done a thousand times. So just pay attention and ask them if your not sure about something

[Daddy - DJ]

I'm very new to the DDlg scene. I got introduced to it recently when a friend got me with someone. I very naturally and smoothly found myself in the Daddy role *Having a 8 year old son seems to have helped* I have been doing a lot of reading and learning as much as I can but I feel there is so much out there. This forum has given me so much already.

 

My biggest issue is punishments right now. I know my little wants punishments and can be very bratty but its hard for me to give that firm hand right now, i've gotten better already but know there is more I can be doing. Any suggestions on how to more comfortably deal with this. Also any suggestions on appropriate punishments that might be able to be used (both for public and private situations) 

 

Communication has been my key thing so far, we have opened up to each other about our past and that has been the biggest step in the right direction. Being new i already know that trust and honesty are going to be the two key things. Everyone has a past and you can't hold that against them, you just have to learn from it and be better. 

[harsh.sharma_01]

i am new to this community
and i have been exploring things , how things work out here
but i wasn't able to get much knowledge
can someone give me the very basic important advice
 

[Nova Tata]

Hi so kinda a awkward question but here goes. I'm currently in a polly relationship and very new to this. My wife is not interested in being my little. Given the freedom of my relationship is it ok in this community to look for a little. Is that ok as long as she is ok with it or is that something that is frowned upon? Edited July 2, 2019 by Nova Tata

[Grayson]

Hi can you give me some advise on after care for a little I know it's an important factor in a ddlg relationship

And any help would be great

Thanks

[xXDaddyDudeXx]

Hi, I'm completely new to this. I only just learned about this lifestyle a couple weeks ago. I've been talking to a girl for a while and we reached the point where she asked me to be her Daddy. Needless to say, I was confused until she started to explain it all to me. We are in a type of long distance relationship and have since professed our love to one another. I have asked her questions and we did a bit of role play online, and she says I'm a natural daddy. I dont want to lose her! How do I know when to be the daddy and when not to be? I dont want to over do things, and I dont want to under do things. Any advice?

[DaddyRaven01]

Hello everyone, I am a fairly new daddy. I was introduced about a year a go but still feel like I know nothing. please, if there is any important advice you would like to give, I'm open to try it

[Guest mkz90]

My advice that has worked for me so far: approach them like you were interested in a basic relationship, but with the fact that you both have DDLG in common. 

 

Talk about regular everyday activities you do, favorite foods, etc. all the stuff you would do to get to know someone if you wanted to move it to something serious.

I try to develop a relationship first, and then add in the DDLG dynamic when we both feel comfortable and we have established trust between each other.

I have found that solely a common liking of DDLG does not constitute enough to base a relationship on - so don't jump in head first. 

I would also recommend for your first DDLG relationship to be in-person, but that is purely my opinion. 

[Jesseget]

Hey, basically a complete noob in the community and I after spending some time at looking at how some daddies act and I was wondering if it was off putting for a daddy to not act like a dom from the get go? Or is it just the opposite and acting like that from the beginning can make you lose points with potential littles?

A daddy is a dom but I think you are thinking of the one's who think there masters. One can be both and there are similarity but a daddy is more nurturing and gentle then one would expect from a master. That is the quick and dirty expansion anyways, and some may say otherwise. Regardless of definitions, someone should be carefully ( especially littles ) of those that start out hard and don't try to develop a connection.

[Jesseget]

Hey everyone! New to this and had a few questions! My little has some mental issues like thinking to much or th8nking I don't care! I'm lost at what to do.. I ask her what I can do to help but she isn't sure how to tell.. How do I get both her big side and little side to open up.. We do bubble baths color together and so on.. I love her like crazy and will try anything to help her! I know it takes time! But having other daddy's to talk to would help a lot.. I just feel like I'm alone with this! Anyone have any ideas?

That can be a tuff one. First thing is professional help, don't try to take mental problems on your own. Building up her confidence and trust like it sounds you have is one of the best things you can do. She may not know why she has these problems and it will take many talks to get to the root of them and sadly it may just be a chemical problem ( trying to cover everything as I don't know what she is doing) but being a caring daddy will help her be happy.