General Advice for New Daddies

[Guest SUeB]

Thank you so much, sushishui. This has helped alot. I'd like to ask another question, hopefully clear up another bit of confusion for myself, and possibly others...Is it normal to be apprehensive about allowing the ddlg dynamic to be expressed or displayed in public? I live in a small town in Central New York, where everybody knows everybody, and I am very well connected socially to many people here. The problem is, it is not a very accepting community when it comes to anything considered "abnormal." I have had to hide the fact that I'm Wiccan rather than Christian for years, so I'm just so used to hiding things like this...I don't want that to become a turn-off or something, but I don't feel comfortable displaying or expressing this side of me in a public place, because of where I live...is this normal? Is this a turn-off for littles? Or should I just give up now, and spare any potential littles any pain or emotional damage before somebody gets hurt...?

This is absolutely fine. We are all (hopefully) adults with adult brains. No way would either me or my Daddy act like this in public. It's private and intimate. And yes, it's a kink. It's not for the wider public to have to see. Daddy is always very clear that in public we behave in a strictly vanilla way. Anyone that cannot accept that has greater issues than being a bit of a sulk.

[Guest Andyy95]

Unlike most of my posts, i'm gonna keep this short and simple:

 

First of all , learn about it! Seccondly, Don't just try stuff, talk about it first! BDSM/DDLG is like a doubble edged sword (not the ideal comparisson, but the best I could come up with xP ) , it can be AMAZING , but when in an irresponsible idiot's hands, it can scar the little for life.

 

That's all, live long and prosper.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Here's a question for you all.  Because of my current living situation, disciplining my little has become a bit of a challenge. Recently, her bratty side has started to emerge in a big way, but because I don't have a vehicle, and live almost an hour and a half away by bus, I can't exactly rely on spankings as a form of punishment. (Kind of hard to spank someone who is an hour away from you.) So I would just like to ask, what are some popular alternate punishments you all use with your partners?

[Guest SUeB]

Any distance punishment relies on the recipient actually following through with them. But you can try writing lines (which is one that you get evidence of, rather than just taking her word for it)

, not being allowed to watch a favourite show, restrict internet time, early bedtime, and corner time (she could video it so you can see she's actually doing it). Just a few ideas. But i strongly suggest that you NEVER restrict access to communication with you. Don't ever do that.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Any distance punishment relies on the recipient actually following through with them. But you can try writing lines (which is one that you get evidence of, rather than just taking her word for it)

, not being allowed to watch a favourite show, restrict internet time, early bedtime, and corner time (she could video it so you can see she's actually doing it). Just a few ideas. But i strongly suggest that you NEVER restrict access to communication with you. Don't ever do that.

 

So far, I've been utilizing all of these except internet time. however, the recording the punishment idea, now that is definitely something I might try. I've found that writing Lines is the one punishment besides spanking that she HATES the most. Thank you for your input SUeB

[DadaLlama]

I am by no means an expert, and I can only offer advice based on the experiences with my little.  She is VERY submissive and sometimes she lacks confidence because of it.  I'll ask her a question, and she'll just say, "Whatever you want, Daddy."  I have to explain to her that I'm asking her a question because I want her answer.  Sometimes I have to ask her to write down her wants/needs because of her shyness.

 

She does push her limits every so often.  That's only natural for a little.  They have to be reminded of where their boundaries are in order to feel safe and loved.  I'll start off with a look, which works in public or private.  If that still doesn't work, I'll just calmly remind her of what is expected.  By this point, she's normally stopped the bratty behavior.  On the rare occasion, she'll need a consequence to get back in line.

 

In the end, what many people said on here is correct.  Communication and safety are the key.  It's a lot of work, but I think it's well worth the benefits.  It's important to figure out what works best between you and your little.  Some people may think that our relationship is very strict, but that's what works for us.  It just depends on what you and your little likes.

 

Oh, one more thing.  Make sure that your little is in a "big" state of mind when you communicate about your relationship expectations.  You'll need to talk about adult topics like consent, boundaries, safe words, limits, and a "no-go" list.  Someone in a little state of mind may struggle with this.

[ddgingee]

I never heard about this dd/lg my fiance is younger than me by 6 years and we were just talking about our interests and she brought up liking dd/lg she has been asking me to tell her a story our whole relationship between never realized how much she chose me, upon reading about it on last 24 hours I've come to realize it matches me to a t, I've always been provider,protected. And care giver, and she is most definitely my world. Not crazy about the dominant role but I can be firm, she's always gave the impression of independents and I love that about her, I want to make her happy and I'm very exited about this, how should I start ? Any tips .. Please help

[Guest SUeB]

i have posted my reply to this in your other post

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

So, I just wanted to ask something that expands on one of the common bits of advice I see recurring on this thread. I understand what some of you are saying as far as don't jump right into being a Daddy Dom when you first meet your Little, but instead be yourself and approach the Little as a normal person who just happens to like being little. That makes sense. But heres my question: what if i am naturally dominant? For me, my "Normal Mode" isnt much different than my "Daddy" Mode. Im naturally compassionate, kind, and caring, but I also place huge emphasis on respect and honor. What happens when the two different sides of the Dom overlap like this? Does that scare off littles???

[DreamingDesire]

The point is to just be yourself, to not try to be "extra Daddy" to impress someone, as it comes across as fake and silly. For example, playing up your dominant side where it turns into full BDSM could be very hot in the right moment with the right person, but even then you need to build up to that right moment.

 

Don't worry about how you come across when just being yourself, as there will always be some littles that dislike it, while others like it. They're still humans, there's no "one way to seduce them all".

Edited December 6, 2017 by DreamingDesire

[Guest SUeB]

That's my definition of a daddyDom. Hence both sides in one word. A daddy that is dominant. It's simply about finding someone that is compatible, and is looking for those both sides. That's exactly how my Daddy is. Well, He only identified as a Dominant, had never even heard of ddlg etc until He met me. But i immediately recognised the daddy side when we started talking.

i need both. Definitely. He is an amazing Dominant, and He is also an amazing Daddy. Lots of subs want that kind of dynamic. Have you tried having a look around fetlife? Yes, it's full of cheats, players and morons, lol, but there are genuine people there too. Thats where He found me.

[AshRose890]

Hi! I’m new to the site and I’m trying to learn how to be a Daddy/Dom. My girlfriend is a little and she constantly feels like she has to box up that part of her because I’m not a Daddy. I’ve told her multiple times I’m open to learning and I want to learn because I have experienced DD/LG in the past and have always been interested in it. She doesn’t want to change who I am or have me change myself just because of her, but I’d rather learn and open up that part of me so I can maleness things work between us. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated! I know it’s not easy to pick up or learn, but I want to do everything possible to learn. She’s such a huge part of my life’s and I want our relationship to be comfortable and open and work and I want to show her that I can be what she wants. I’m determined to learn and would love some help. Thank you!

[Daddy the cuddle muffin]

Ello, quick question. Is there a specific name for clothes little wears? I seen ones where it has a them like stich, Tigger, a fox, a season etc and was wondering if it has a certain name for it.

[SenpaiKyoho]

Okay so my Little and are do really well but I'm young and still fairly new to the Daddy seen and so is my Little, she knew she was a little before I knew I was a Daddy, but I still need advice sometimes its hard to remember things, give a proper punishment, and figure out the mind space of my Little at times if people have any advice to give me it would be extremely appreciated. (Also we do a long distance and if you know any punishments that would be good for this situation it would be a great help, thank you)

[daddyjudge]

Hi Everyone, I've never been in this lifestyle and a girl that i am talking to is a little and wants me to be her daddy, I have been reading this thread and I love the knowledge everyone has in here. Do anyone of you have any suggestions to starting this relationship?

[Lhart11]

THIS! 100% 

Today I was conversing with a little who was seeking advice on behalf of her daddy because her daddy was too scared to approach me and ask a question due to the nature of a man asking another man for advice, perhaps a hit to his ego?

I stated this to him and he agreed it was the case. So Please, we need to gain as much knowledge as possible, we never stop learning and you know what?! Sometimes I even learn stuff from my little!! It's beautiful to learn!

I'm a switch (daddy/little) depending on my emotional state, and so is my (mommy/princess). I agree, we can't ever stop learning.

[Big Daddy Smillie]

Right so whenever I start talking with a little I'm never quite know what to do, I try being pleasant, I try being funny, I try straight up flirting but things always seems to die very fast. Can I get advice on how to start off talking to littles for the first time because it's clear its actually different from normal dating and such?

 

Thank you

 

 

-S

[neko]

Right so whenever I start talking with a little I'm never quite know what to do, I try being pleasant, I try being funny, I try straight up flirting but things always seems to die very fast. Can I get advice on how to start off talking to littles for the first time because it's clear its actually different from normal dating and such?

 

Thank you

 

 

-S

We are literally just normal people like daddies/mommies/etc. There's no special way to talk to a Little. Just treat us and talk to us like a regular person. If the conversation dies, shit happens. You can't hit it off with everybody. Edited April 4, 2018 by neko

[Guest SUeB]

Apparently you found a way to make it work, because only a few days after asking how you start a conversation, you're already declaring your love for someone.

[Guest Kaiser]

9 pages.

 

Be yourself, and communicate.

 

That simple.

[Guest ScorpioBeastWolf]

STEPS TO BEING A NEW DADDY/MOMMY

1) admits that you are confused as fuck & have no idea what you are doing!

2) go through some stuff until your angry is out of the way.

3) go online and look up DDLG and find out what it really is,yes study, study more

4) after you found a good amount of information, then go find someone who is already in the DDLG community

5) talk to the person about everything you want to know about DDLG community and don't skip out of ANY questions you have for them.

6) figure out what you are in the DDLG relationship.

7) go find yourself a little.

8) once you have found your new little talk to them about what you are looking for.

9) make sure you have a safe word in place & also tell them what you are comfortable with doing & not comfortable with doing.

DON'T TAKE STRESS... EACH DAY IS A LEARNING DAY..... ENJOY THE PROCESS.... NEVER BREAK TRUST, BE FAITHFUL TO SELF AND THE OTHER... ENJOY THE ROLLERCOASTER LIFE.

[Juntin3]

Hi I'm a new daddy, I got asked to be one due to my "nature" I was wondering if they is a way to be a daddy without being sexual 

[Guest SugarNSpiceSam]

I think it's very important for both partners to communicate openly with each other and share with each other what exactly their looking for and start from there. Someone else's rules will be completely different than yours, tell your Daddy Dom the kind of things you like and the sort of things your looking for. When a woman/girl subs to you, that's beautiful because she's putting her whole trust in you. Trust is a big thing and it goes on both sides. Trust is the key element and communication. Lets say you like someone who tells you what to wear everyday, tell them that. What kind of foods you should only eat, etc. Explain to them what your limits are and what you're not comfortable with. Both parties should talk before anything starts to see if you're compatible. When I met my Daddy, I was not expecting it or planning it out. We connected and our first conversation was wonderful. I love him very much and I wouldn't want anyone else. 

 

I met a lot of creepy Dom's in the past and they expected me to sub to them almost immediately. I saw this as a red flag and never contacted them again.

Edited April 26, 2018 by MysticalDreamer83

[Furrykorm]

Friends first always! What better way is there to learn about any potential Little or CG friends

[AntonioF47]

Hi there :-)

 

I have been a Dominant for many years, but a complete newbie when it comes to DDlg...

 

I just wanted to say thank you for the valuable tips and information! I am confused as hell trying to figure it all out, but thanks to all the great advice I feel a bit more comfortable...