General Advice for New Daddies

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

I am completely new at the I want to learn more on how to be a daddy and also how would it work having a daddy little relationship that is long distance? I need help and advice.

there's a few forum posts around here about this stuff just in case what i'm about 

to give you doesn't work for you or you wish for more knowledge on these topics.

 

i've currently been in a ldr with my Daddy for over a year now, yay! they're not easy

but then again no relationship ever is, but it's very, very doable. my Daddy has set

rules for me ( i'm not gonna lie i can't always remember them all so i just try to be

the very best person/little i can be ) that i follow, we took the time ( 2 days ) to make

them up together, so there was a lot of thought put into it but we also had looks into

other peoples rules for ideas and sometimes we even used one or two and altered

them - PLEASE know that being in a cg/l relationship does NOT mean you have to

have rules if you two don't want them, they are by no means a requirement, and 

you can have a happy, healthy, functioning relationship without them but make sure

that if you do use rules they're something both of you agree on.

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules/page-8?do=findComment&comment=90182 < rules post.

 

sometimes with rules comes punishments - and AGAIN you don't need these either!!!

you do what makes you and your partner feel comfortable!! - when i break rules i'm

often given writing based assignments as it is a ldr so i don't get spanked.. atm. there

are tons of posts about punishments and rewards. what works for me might not work

for you. 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15725-punishment-ideassuggestions/?p=83796 <punishment ideas. 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16768-rewards-for-littles/?p=88337 < reward stuff.

 

and the relationship goes well beyond just punishments, rules, rewards. you don't 

need any of that kinda stuff! <: the relationship will be what you make it online or 

irl. i want to link you lots of stuff and tell you lots of things but this would turn into

a nightmare of a post. i highly suggest just nosing around the forums, this was

one of the places i learned from with my own ldr. feel free to add and message

me if you're needing more help with your ldr cgl relationship! remember that

no matter what, it's gonna come down to honesty, communication, time, and patience. 

[IsaiasGM95]

I'm new, I got into cg/l only recently but it didn't work out between me and her. So I'm here to learn to be a better daddy and hopefully find a princess I can give my love to.

[Lilzombiekat]

Im kinda new to the cgl lifestyle and I met a little that lives a few states away, they are so sweet and little. I dont call myself his mommy right now because he isnt used to me that much and I dont want to force that. I want to know how to be a good mommy in the future, how to help them get trough anxiety and feel safe, and how to deal with poutiness, I dont want to punish him often since its an early "relationship". what to talk about How to help im sleep, just basic things. What did some of you do when you started a new relationship?

[DeathMetalPrincess]

Some advice I've found is to get to know your little before you start anything in-depth. So talk to him and get to know him a little bit. Talking will help him feel more at ease about the relationship as it's starting out.

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi, thanks for asking for our assistance.

 

I am an authentic/born as a middle. As a 52 year old middle (13-18 years old) I instinctually know what I like to be, doing, with my Daddy both in little space, our 24/7 lifestyle and in real life. I have been this way my whole life and didn't know about DDlg until 9 months ago and just met my first Daddy a week and a half ago. So I bring all that I am already to the experience that now has a name, DDlg.

 

I think being a "Mommy" starts with you being introspective to the "Mommy" in you. As a "Mommy" you have natural instincts of what a Caregiver is, does and being one. When you are a "Mommy," you are already inclined to have the "tool box" to care for a little. Being aware and in touch with your "Mommy" side, you will give yourself a very good start.

 

I suggest that you make a wish list of all the things you think you would like to do as a "Mommy" with your "little." Please do not try to "think that would be expected" to do as a "Mommy." At the same time, have your little write a wish list for them being and wanting a "Mommy" as a little.

 

Then, have a conversation together using the wish list's as a tool to bring together your "relationship," both in real life and MDlb. This will give you a wonderful foundational agreement. As you go along in the relationship and your understanding of what you want in your MDlb life, you can add and subtract from this agreement.

 

In the meantime, each of you read, read, read, research, research, research "little Space" and "Caregiver Cafe."

Have discussions about what you find others are doing and maybe you want or don't want in your relationship.

 

I devoured the forum for 9 months, making my wish lists and when I met my Daddy, I knew exactly what I wanted for my middle self/in real life/in DDlg and how/what I wanted the man that would be my Daddy to be. Then I met him, my Daddy and I was really ready to be my entire "me."

 

My only expectations are those of myself. I promise to stay true to me being a middle, Princess and a good girl in real life, whether I have a Daddy or not.

 

Hugs

[Guest 12345]

Great thread, love the concept that Daddy's don't have to be dom from the get go.

Theres a time and place for all tha,t but when starting out a ddlg relationship good clear communication is a must  

[Daddybutt]

Hi there. New (female) Daddy here. I'm in a long distance relationship with my little and I guess I'm just looking for someone to give me advice or maybe share some hints and tips. Thank you in advance.

[baby__boo]

I'm no daddy but if you have a girlfriend/ little and your new to this lifestyle please read up on it, don't act like you know it all.

Even daddy's that been into DDLG for ages are still learning new things. And if you think like you need some advice don't be scared to ask your little because that's what she is there for.. to help you and it probably help you a lot!

[baby__boo]

Hey, my name is Alex, I posted yesterday but the post didn't get too much attention. Anyways I figured I'd post again because there's this girl that I'm into that's into ddlg but I'm not sure how to act or be, not to mention I want to turn her on as much as I can and I'm not sure how to punish the little one if she's being bad. I've looked into the community a little bit, as well as read up on some ways to act like a good daddy but I feel like reading up on it isn't enough and I'd rather talk to people in the community and get ideas and advice from there. Anyways if you read this I'd love to get some help, please leave a comment or message me, thanks

Hey Alex.

part of the daddy role is to be in charge but to love and care for her like you would for a little child. Understand her and make sure you know why she acts this way, there might be no reason but ask her just to make sure, she might not tell you but thats ok dont push her to.

[Fnlyfree]

I'm completely new to the DD/LG community, and I'm looking to any pointers than can assist me in becomeing a good daddy. I am cometly open minded so please don't he anything back. I wanna learn.

[DaddysBeta]

[BiggBG]

Hey guys I've had a DDlg relationship for a few months and it's been going well but lately I'm having a lot of issues with feeling disrespected and disobeyed and I am not entirely sure how to approach the situation and come up with appropriate punishments. Any more experienced Daddy's or littles out there with some advice?

[Atas72]

There is a difference between Daddies and Masters. Daddies are very similar to Masters but there are some striking differences. First, Daddies cherish their submissive's little side and encourage her to come out and play. Second, Daddies are strict about different things. Where a Master may be strict about procedure and protocol, Daddies are more concerned with their submissive's goals and needs. Third, a Daddy can be more playful than most Masters. Masters tend to have to be more rigid with their submissive or slaves. Of course, I am not saying Masters are unable to show affection or be playful. But as a Daddy, playfulness is practically a part of the job description. It’s something you would have to do in order to keep up with your little.

[Mankind1001]

Hi I'm a new daddy and I'm just getting use to it what kind if advice can you guys give me anything would be appreciated.

[Tall_Dark_and_Daddy]

I'm a relatively new Daddy but my little has been through a lot of abuse in the past from other relationships, and I've been reading up on how to help and how to act, but any more advice is helpful

[Mr.Hoolig4n D@ddy]

[Chi]

if your little is shy or having difficulty saying what they want/need. i advice you to let them write down "Rules for daddy" that way you'll see what they really want and need without having pressing them to talk

 

it will help greatly till they can feel confident enf to express themselves. that's just a smart way in knowing what their needs are and please don't over punish them for having a hard time expressing themselves. 

 

stay safe and be happy 

[Guest EZPassion]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the questions and answers.  It's nice to see so many other new Daddies on here asking questions.  I don't feel as alone starting out.

[JRdaddy]

Hi, i'm new to this, but i met my little over the summer, and we can only chat over computer, because we live in different cities. Does anyone have any tips or advice for me?

[ReasDaddy]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been fascinated by this fetish for sometime. Im 51 btw. I role played DDLG a little with a cam model several years ago. Just now I was granted the opportunity and somehow earned the privilege(lol), of becoming this beautiful 20-year-olds daddy. So happy too cause we have incredible chemistry..))

I really like her and I want it to go well... I'm fairly confident that I'm doing everything appropriately and she assures me that I'm doing a great job. But I'm reaching out to see if you would be willing to mentor me..Tips and advise? Enlighten me on the proper care and feeding of a little?

Respectfully,

MRF

[Guest JayRingo77]

Afternoon:

 

I've been active in D/s over the years but I've never been a Daddy.  After careful consideration, and a LOT of reading, I've come to the decision that adopting a Middle would compliment both my personality and my philosophy from previous D/s relationships.  I've always been more of a guide than a Master; after care has always been important, and the nurturing aspects of this lifestyle mirror a lot of what I've written into various contracts over the years.

 

What's the best way to break into this community?

 

Are there any nuances to the etiquette that I should know about or read?

 

Where else in this forum should I begin with getting to know the community?

 

Respectfully,

 

Jay

[Guest JayRingo77]

if your little is shy or having difficulty saying what they want/need. i advice you to let them write down "Rules for daddy" that way you'll see what they really want and need without having pressing them to talk

 

it will help greatly till they can feel confident enf to express themselves. that's just a smart way in knowing what their needs are and please don't over punish them for having a hard time expressing themselves. 

 

stay safe and be happy 

What do you recommend if the communication barrier is with the Daddy being able to effectively express expectations?  Rules work to a point; however, the emotional needs of a daddy can be contradictory when we need the caring support of our ward or a small boost in confidence that we're meeting your needs and still have to maintain a persona of confidence, strength, and resilience.

[ntg]

So, I've read a fair amount.  I'm new to this. I've fantasized about this lifestyle for a long time.  I never really knew much about the DD/LG relationships before.  All I've ever known anything about was the BDSM side of the dom kink (pretty much the concept of it).

 

I met a girl. She stole my heart the first time I saw her.  We were talking one night, and she said that she really enjoys this kind of relationship.  I can't think of anything else I want more than to make her happy.  She pulls me out of the darkness with just a thought of her smile.  I'm sorry if I start ranting here.  Anyway, as I said, I've read a fair amount in just a couple days on this site, as well as other sites.  I'm afraid of starting out too slow or too fast.  I really care about this girl.  I know this comes second to me to only my gentlemanly duties.  It's already my job, as a man, to take care of her.  But, I want this because she wants this.  I guess I just wanted to ask how slowly other Daddies took it all at first?

[Guest JayRingo77]

I'm new into this context as well and this is a question I find myself struggling with on a daily basis. 

 

It sounds like you have the right mind set - emotional before physical.  This is how I strike the pace - if the physical begins to take the spotlight I fall back on the emotional ties and put my efforts there.  When the emotional overwhelms I give in and let whatever may come physically.  Internal to the emotional are exercises meant to build trust and provide a safe place for our attraction to grow into whatever may come.  Lay a firm foundation so that anything that follows has a better chance. 

 

If you try to set external limits or boundaries you'll only find yourself paying more attention to them than the relationship.  Above all - communicate.  Open those lines until the exchange comes without effort or worry on what might or could happen if you share how you feel.  Check that against where you envision your self (long term? open? closed? monogamous? contracted?) and you'll know how comfortable you are together and whether things are moving too fast.

 

Good luck, hope this helps in some way.

[ntg]

I'm new into this context as well and this is a question I find myself struggling with on a daily basis. 

 

It sounds like you have the right mind set - emotional before physical.  This is how I strike the pace - if the physical begins to take the spotlight I fall back on the emotional ties and put my efforts there.  When the emotional overwhelms I give in and let whatever may come physically.  Internal to the emotional are exercises meant to build trust and provide a safe place for our attraction to grow into whatever may come.  Lay a firm foundation so that anything that follows has a better chance. 

 

If you try to set external limits or boundaries you'll only find yourself paying more attention to them than the relationship.  Above all - communicate.  Open those lines until the exchange comes without effort or worry on what might or could happen if you share how you feel.  Check that against where you envision your self (long term? open? closed? monogamous? contracted?) and you'll know how comfortable you are together and whether things are moving too fast.

 

Good luck, hope this helps in some way.

 

Thank you!  I came here for personal opinions and advice, not just one person on a website.  Communication is key.  Today was the first day I ever really got strict with her, and it felt amazing.  And it opened her eyes.  Success #1