General Advice for New Daddies

[Papa_J]

Hey my hubby has a few questions about the ddlg life style, here are a few..he wanted to specifically hear what others had to say

 

Do they live "in character" or take breaks ?

How do you apply punishment and sone examples of ?

[neko]

My Number ONE advice!!: DO NOT message littles acting overly flirtatious "hey babygirl youre lookin cute" "hi there little one ;)" because that will more than likely get you blocked

[ryan00241]

So I've got a little, and I'm somewhat new to DDLG been in it for about 6 months, are there any ideas y'all can give me as to how to cheer up my little via text, when she needs cuddles but that cant be give because of distance?

[yimi]

I've been trying to meet a little online that I'm happy with, but I'm starting to think the DDlg relationship isn't a good way to really KNOW who your partner is. I feel when a girl is in little space, there's only so much we can talk about without breaking that frame of mind. Is there any way to talk to a little so you get to know who she is as a person without breaking the DDlg dynamic? I also feel a lg is held back from really getting to know me as a person, rather than just a DD. 

[DaddyPenguin]

I know many think a daddy chooses a little. That's not true, it is a little who chooses their daddy.. Being called Daddy I something that is earned, you do not ask your little to call you that, they call you that when you have proven you are their daddy and earned it. When talking to a little or just starting out don't jump to talk all sexually and don't ask for nudes.

Just my 3 cents.

[DeepSpaceDaddy]

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. :-)

 

I know many think a daddy chooses a little. That's not true, it is a little who chooses their daddy.. Being called Daddy I something that is earned, you do not ask your little to call you that, they call you that when you have proven you are their daddy and earned it. When talking to a little or just starting out don't jump to talk all sexually and don't ask for nudes.

Just my 3 cents.

[DdyDomLuvzLittle]

[DdyDomLuvzLittle]

I hope I am doing this right.... I must say, just one whole day of constant and consistent reading and research, and I have come to learn in one day that a Little chooses her Daddy. This here drives me insane I love knowing this just saying.

 

I know many think a daddy chooses a little. That's not true, it is a little who chooses their daddy.. Being called Daddy I something that is earned, you do not ask your little to call you that, they call you that when you have proven you are their daddy and earned it. When talking to a little or just starting out don't jump to talk all sexually and don't ask for nudes.

Just my 3 cents.

[northerndaddytobemaybe]

good topic here i still need to to more reading of that guide. i think all relationships should be based on talking about things and see if needs and thoughts meet and what can be compromised. open talk is always better than talking behind someones back imo. i have some sorta exp of being daddy but it was more likely online rp no dress up etc for "little" was included. but i know i like to be at least bit dom and like naughty stuff lol but also talking about others problems etc..they've all been friends or more to me  so its been more likely naughty friendship with some dom/daddy aspects..lol not sure before i read more. then i see about finding a little. now i have some as friends still but its only friendship now.

[Guest DaddyXavier]

If you want to be a Daddy, you have to accept that you're not always right, and own your mistakes.

[Jaydotso]

Hi all, I'm fairly new to being a Daddy and looking to learn how to be a better caregiver. I really enjoy hearing what this dynamics means to different people. Exposure to new perspectives is always enlightening. I'm curious where people got their start in learning about this dynamic and if there were any opportunities for someone to mentor on this forum. I am naturally nurturing but I do have a few questions about how to execute the Dom aspect of being a Daddy, especially for a little/princess. I absolutely enjoy spoiling and can Top in a Dominant manner in the bedroom. I'm just very new to being THE dominant in a relationship. Any help would be appreciated friend requests and messaging is more than welcome. 

 

Thanks 

-J

[DaddyDaddy]

Just saying hi.

im new to this forum. looking forward to meeting you guys, and taking a look around. im a 31 yr old daddy (newbie) to a beautiful baby girl. im looking around for new ideas and approaches to ddlg time    im sure ill find everything i need around the site, but if anyone has any ideas.. feel free to point me in the right direction!

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Hey all...New Daddy here...I've been reading about this lifestyle for almost a year now, trying to figure things out, but I'm still hopelessly lost. There's just so much info, and much of it clashes...Some say one thing, while others completely say the opposite...I suppose I'll focus on a couple core questions I still have. First: How soon after beginning a DDLG relationship should rules and punishments be implemented? Should those rules, once implemented, be strictly enforced right away, or should Punishments be eased into? Second: Is it normal to be looking for a little with a Littlespace/Headspace between 4 and 7 years old, or are all Daddies seeking Littles under 4? Finally: Do Littles "grow" over time, or do they stay the same age in their Littlespace permanently? Please help, I need to understand this side of myself...

[sushishui]

PapaPhoenix, the answer to all of your questions is: it depends.

 

I implement rules and punishments immediately. It's something that I talk about with my sub right at the beginning, and we make sure we're agreed on everything. If we need to change rules and punishments we can do that down the line. That being said, some Doms may prefer to wait until they get to know their subs before going there.

 

It's perfectly normal for you to have an idea of what kind of little age you want your little to have. Some Caregivers prefer "older" littles or even middles, while others prefer "younger" littles.

 

Whether littles "grow" over time probably depends on the little. Some may stay the same little age for decades, while others might get older or maybe even younger as they get experience and their tastes change.

[Guest WolframSRC]

Hi guys,

 

As many others I'm new here as well. Just a quick question:

Before starting a relationship, I prefer getting to know my partner and build a friendship. But once it gets seious how do you establish the Daddy/little dynamic? Small steps to test the waters, or fleshing it all out in a long converstion about boundries and needs?

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

PapaPhoenix, the answer to all of your questions is: it depends.

 

I implement rules and punishments immediately. It's something that I talk about with my sub right at the beginning, and we make sure we're agreed on everything. If we need to change rules and punishments we can do that down the line. That being said, some Doms may prefer to wait until they get to know their subs before going there.

 

It's perfectly normal for you to have an idea of what kind of little age you want your little to have. Some Caregivers prefer "older" littles or even middles, while others prefer "younger" littles.

 

Whether littles "grow" over time probably depends on the little. Some may stay the same little age for decades, while others might get older or maybe even younger as they get experience and their tastes change.

Thank you so much, sushishui. This has helped alot. I'd like to ask another question, hopefully clear up another bit of confusion for myself, and possibly others...Is it normal to be apprehensive about allowing the ddlg dynamic to be expressed or displayed in public? I live in a small town in Central New York, where everybody knows everybody, and I am very well connected socially to many people here. The problem is, it is not a very accepting community when it comes to anything considered "abnormal." I have had to hide the fact that I'm Wiccan rather than Christian for years, so I'm just so used to hiding things like this...I don't want that to become a turn-off or something, but I don't feel comfortable displaying or expressing this side of me in a public place, because of where I live...is this normal? Is this a turn-off for littles? Or should I just give up now, and spare any potential littles any pain or emotional damage before somebody gets hurt...?

[sushishui]

Some littles like to be little in public, but I think most littles are ok with being in the closet about it. Most of the world is not very accepting of the DD/lg dynamic -- even some members of the mainstream BDSM community have been known to call us perverts -- so I think most littles will understand where you're coming from completely.

[TurtleTheKittenTamer]

I'm new to Daddying and me and my little have a wonderful relationship as a whole and she thinks I'm a good Daddy, and we both think I'm suited to it, but we're both new to it and I'm very inexperienced at DDlg stuff. I'd appreciate any help

 

The main thing I need help with is: Ideas that will help keep her in her little space, so I don't have to go to her for advice when she's feeling too little for answering a bunch of questions

But any help is appreciated, I'm new

Edited April 25, 2016 by TurtleTheKittenTamer

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Thank you, Sushi. Again, you've been a big help.

[Skybot]

Uhm hi I sorta came on here cuz I need help both with making my little listen and actually respect me and if the relationship I'm even in is healthy for me seems less often ddlg and more she's the Dom and I'm the sub idk what I've been doing wrong...

[sushishui]

The main thing I need help with is: Ideas that will help keep her in her little space, so I don't have to go to her for advice when she's feeling too little for answering a bunch of questions 

Sorry, I'm new to this as well. I've been watching the dynamic from the outside, but you have more experience being inside it than I am, so I don't think there's anything I can tell you.

 

Uhm hi I sorta came on here cuz I need help both with making my little listen and actually respect me and if the relationship I'm even in is healthy for me seems less often ddlg and more she's the Dom and I'm the sub idk what I've been doing wrong...

 

DD/lg isn't a fight for dominance, and neither is BDSM. You can't take any woman out there and turn her into a little or a sub. Instead, you should find a woman who is already a little or a sub, and who trusts you enough to submit to you.

 

If you're trying to turn her into a woman or a sub, stop. She's not the one.

 

If she said she wanted to be a little or a sub, but now she's coming across as more dominant, she's either not sure about which role is right for her, or she's not happy with the way you show dominance.

 

I believe that a lot of women, and subs in particular, want their relationship a certain way, but feel like it cheapens things if they have to tell you what that way is. So instead of telling you what to do, she'll create an opportunity for you to do what she wants you to do. And if you don't take advantage of that opportunity, you lose some of her desire and respect.

 

As an example, some (most?) bratty behavior is creating the opportunity for punishment. In these instances, the sub is testing to see if you can take control and show your dominance.

 

But there's another thing to watch out for too -- sometimes instead of showing dominance, she wants you to show compassion. If you're 100% dominance and 0% compassion, that's not Dom/sub, that's abuse. So she'll be looking for your softer side -- the side that encourages her to put her trust in you.

 

Do you have a safeword? Do you respect the safeword? Do you do things for her pleasure, instead of just your own? Do you take care of her during sub drop? Does it matter to you at all if she's crying and bleeding? Do you ever stop to check if she's hurt and if she wants to continue? If your answers to these are no, well, some women will just roll over and become battered wives, but others will put up a more dominant front and fight back -- or just leave you.

 

Basically, respect, trust, and submission are things that she will give to you if she thinks you deserve them. They aren't things you can take from her.

[Guest RedDragon]

Wow there are some really great ideas here, thank you all for sharing! I'm new to dd/lg. I've always wanted to bring out the best in someone else, so for me I'm really interested in bahavior modification and body modification. I want to be with someone who understands that health is very important but struggles with taking care of herself, and will allow me to modify their diet/exercise/thought/self talk.

 

Does anyone else have the same desire as me? Let me explain... For me, what I want is to be with someone who struggles with negative self talk/self perception. Someone who struggles with taking care of themself. I.e. Eats poorly, doesn't exercise, etc. And me, as her Daddy, creates rules she must follow with reward/punishment and I'm there to make sure she is fulfilling her goals. At the same time, she is someone who knows this is important and wants guidance as opposed to fighting against it. I hope I explained that well enough.

 

Is this consistent with dd/lg or am I way off here?

[sushishui]

That's somewhat like what I want as well. With my last sub, she needed a lot more care emotionally than the average little, I think. It just felt amazing having someone to take care of.

[Guest RedDragon]

Well it's good to know I'm not alone!

[Guest pearlpizza22]

Hey guys! I'm definitely not a daddy, but I have a piece of advice!

Basically it's like knowing EVERYTHING about your little.

Know their shoe size, favorite color, menstrual cycle dates, favorite food, what they want to do, etc. etc.

Knowing facts like these make it seem like you care a whole bunch.

My daddy has had a bad problem with forgetting things. (He can't help it though, smaller hippocampus leads to smaller memory but that's beside the point.)

Sometimes when I ask him if he remembers something about me or us and he doesn't, I still can translate that to him not caring enough to remember. So knowing a lot about your little can help. Not only make the little feel special, but can definitely help you too later on.