General Advice for New Daddies

[LittleNyx]

@Daddy4Princess Great post! More than 50% of problems in any kind of relationship are related to miscommunication or the lack of communication. It's even more important in a D/s relationship where balance is extremely crucial.

[BrassyBabyGirl]

On 11/25/2021 at 2:42 PM, DaddiRick said:

I consider myself still a new Daddy three months into our DDlg relationship. 

That post was uber sexual and many here are not sexual littles/middles/switches/caregivers. Coming from a site like fet life and the D/s arena I saw the difference here and I like it. Just wanted to give you that information.

As for you little, ask them, what keeps them there, it is different for everyone. For me, little things like Daddy telling me to have a snack, stopping what ever I am doing (Super A type personality, busy and driven so I forget things like meals and rest) and doing so, ensuring I finish all he makes, does that for me. It is beyond the sexual but strengthens that aspect because the same verbiage can be used and it draws me into little space. The repetitious nature of soothing cues is powerful. The same tone and words used during a daily caregiver task (like soothing words at bed time or cuddle time) can be used during sexy time to draw back that soothing energy of nurtured little space and bring it to a new realm for me.

But the main thing is knowing I am never "too much" for Daddy, but allowing Him to pull me back if He wants to. Being told to wait, be patience, I did not earn that reward yet (which could be some of the things you mentioned above) puts me back into my submissive role and into little space. It could happen in line at the bank or intimate time. Dominant littles are a thing and that is their little space lol (to say I want this, this and this), so maybe it is worth a discussion to see how that dynamic may fit in here and there. Switching up can be a reward earned. Enjoy the journey :0).

[jsong952]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and already introduced myself on the other forum section. I've had a previous D/s relationship but this is my first DD/lg, I'm finding some overlapping areas with D/s but also some unfamiliar ones.

My little is VERY new to any kind of kink relationship, we met a couple of months ago and she just talked about wanting a Dominant partner, over time and talking she leaned more into wanting a DD, she has issues with some of the male relationships she'd had in the past and told me she's never had an orgasm from a man before. She was hesitant about what to call me and it took her time and courage to call me Daddy but she does now. 

I'm here to learn more about being a DD, I'm enjoying it. We have not had much alone time together yet as we are somewhat long distance so see each other every 1-2 weeks, she's also kinda overloaded with work and other commitments. With that in mind I've had a light touch with her regarding rules and control and my wants from her, if I ask too much I'd add stress to her busy life.

She's worn toe/nail polish I picked out and I've picked out what panties she wears for the day, I'd like to explore more. So hoping to find new ways to bring things a little more into 24/7. She's so new I think the idea of giving up control in small ways hasn't fully clicked with her yet.

I think part of it is trust, I think we are still building that bridge, I'm trying to be as open as I can and giving her a safe space so she realizes she can lean into me and trust me completely. Myself I work on my emotional intelligence and learning more about these relationships (which is part of the reason I'm here).

Just thought I'd say hi while I read more here and learn!

[DaddyUmbreon]

@jsong952 Welcome to the community.

Reading through your post, there can and can not be some overlap between D/s and DD/lg.

There is no set mold or definition to how a relationship is. There are more things to keep in mind. DDlg can be a kink but not necessarily and takes getting to know your little and why they are little. As I see it DD/CGs are there to not just be partners/Doms/controllers but more to be that safe haven and mentor. 
Littles/middles are cute and creative. They sometimes need rules and boundaries to stay on course but need freedom to express themselves. I feel if you are choosing their attire and stuff, that falls more to D/s than DDlg. This in no way means you are wrong or not as I stated there is no cookie cutter pattern and ultimately comes down to what terms the 2 of you choose. This is my personal thoughts. Being a DD takes far more love, patience, and understanding. It’s taking our little/middles and loving and accepting them for who they are, understanding their past and traumas, and giving them a safe space to grow and process that with or without our help. Help nurture her curiosity and creativity. Promote her independence and codependency. There should be a balance and will help her when you are not around. There is a very fulfilling part that I can’t fully express in what you experience from seeing the joy, hearing their laughter, and being there for them. 
Explore the site and look at all the incredible and unique things that make each individual little/middle. The things they love. The things they fear. No two are the same, like a sea of stars. They make look the same from the distance but you when you peer through a telescope, you see how truly incredible and monumental they are. You can have a great relationship with your little and incorporate D/s aspects into it. Remember to look out for the best interests of her and not just yourself. That is why the “Daddy” is added and not just Dom. What does that “Daddy” part mean to you and what is it she defines it as. This will be something that resonates for a long time. 

I hope this helps. Find what works best for you both. Be that safe space and always be there for her. Communication will always be key. Make things fun. Don’t rush things and take the time to understand. Don’t take things personally if they pull away for a moment. Be there and love them. 

[Kali]

23 hours ago, jsong952 said:

She's worn toe/nail polish I picked out and I've picked out what panties she wears for the day, I'd like to explore more. So hoping to find new ways to bring things a little more into 24/7. She's so new I think the idea of giving up control in small ways hasn't fully clicked with her yet.

Hi. 👋🙂

As a lil/middle, I hope it's okay to chime in on this. 

Have you asked her how she feels about you picking things out for her? It could be insightful for both of you. 

For instance, I would love for my person to be involved like this, especially in a LDR. Having him pick out things with me, surprising me with something he'd like to see me in, hearing his opinion on things... it'd be something we're doing together, a way to show interest and appreciation, a way to learn things about each other, bonding...  it'd also give me warm fuzzies knowing I've pleased him. 

So D/s is only a small portion of my want, love and need for this. 

Knowing how your little feels about and sees these things could help y'all figure out what works best for you. 😄

[jsong952]

Thanks everyone; this is a little new for me so I'm getting to know the ropes and I can see how more patience and understanding is required to learn about her likes and dislikes.

We've definitely overlapped on certain things, we talked about her wearing a bracelet for me and I made some suggestions. She loved the idea but liked different designs than the ones I picked, so yes I get what you are all saying about being a little less Dom and more Daddy in a lot of things.

Right now she's a little overloaded with a lot on her plate (time and stress) and one of the issues has been communication. We don't chat as much as we probably should, I'm learning to be more patient and give her space. She has gotten more relaxed and was hesitant for quite a long time on what to call me; now she's comfortable calling me Daddy.

thanks again :)

[Cebakes]

2 hours ago, jsong952 said:

Thanks everyone; this is a little new for me so I'm getting to know the ropes and I can see how more patience and understanding is required to learn about her likes and dislikes.

We've definitely overlapped on certain things, we talked about her wearing a bracelet for me and I made some suggestions. She loved the idea but liked different designs than the ones I picked, so yes I get what you are all saying about being a little less Dom and more Daddy in a lot of things.

Right now she's a little overloaded with a lot on her plate (time and stress) and one of the issues has been communication. We don't chat as much as we probably should, I'm learning to be more patient and give her space. She has gotten more relaxed and was hesitant for quite a long time on what to call me; now she's comfortable calling me Daddy.

thanks again

Milk and Mocha gifs are a nice way to quickly let someone know you are thinking about them.  
 

 

https://tenor.com/search/milk-and-mocha-gifs

 

[Pls delete this account]

Hey brand new to this world my ex introduced me and to my suprise being a care giver ticked every box I had and ones I didn’t know I did. So just looking for advice on how to be the best I can. To meet new friends and if I’m lucky enough maybe one day find a little I can care for.

[MoJo]

On 3/4/2015 at 6:13 AM, Elle said:

I'm no Daddy but please, please, if you're a new Daddy, don't pretend you know it all just because you read up on it...

 

I've seen too many of those 

I had to read an experiment a lot in order to find my way. If one does not acknowledge their need to learn, you are stuck for life. 

[Definitiv]

New to ddlg / cgl, but a big thanks to everyone sharing their thoughts, experience and opinions. Really helps someone getting a good look into this and a good perspective on the daddy little relation

[Daddy_Jayy97]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum, not entirely new to the lifestyle. However I've only ever actually had two Littles as pickins are slim here in my state. What is the best way to find that special princess for a lifetime partnership. 

[AspieDaddy]

Hi all this is my first post.

I am a new Daddy to my little (wife). She and I are both fully committed to this lifestyle. It comes alot easier to her than it does me. 

I am trying so hard to be the best daddy I can. We discuss everything from things I expect of her. To punishment. 

She loves all aspects of the lifestyle and so do I. I find I struggle mostly with taking the lead occasionally. Like being out in public.  Keeping her close and the signals I need to use so she knows what is going on etc. I find that the hardest. So I just tend to keep her close to hand.

Currently am finding it difficult to come up with punishments that truly make her rethink her decisions. As she loves a spanking at times. 

I love being in control and being dominant just need some guidance how to navigate myself and her down this rabbit hole.

Thanks in advance

[karan]

On 3/3/2015 at 11:23 PM, Guest Miko said:

Hey everyone!  So this is basically a thread for those daddies who may be new to the whole lifestyle and are not so experienced on it.  Any tips and advice from those more experienced would be much appreciated!  This is also a thread for those newbies who might have any specific questions regarding the lifestyle and whatnot.  Thanks in advance!

1 thing i always tell new daddies and experienced ones too, please please listen to your little ones...