Plus sized little shaming

[Clairbear]

This is just from personal experience but I've had 'daddys' message me and when they find out I'm plus size they completely disregard me with a stupid apology.

 

It really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like crap. v.v I didn't know where else to put this but has any other littles had this experience? v.v bleh..

 

 

*sulks in a corner with her teddies* i feel ugly v.v 

[alicexox]

awww! clair! a real daddy will take you for who you are, regardless of size! i know it hurts a lot, and i'm so so so sorry that you've run into this... don't ever feel ugly, though! you're beautiful. just like anyone else, there are always small-minded, vain, icky people out there that judge based on something so trivial as size. keep your chin up, you're lovelywonderfulsweet! again, don't ever let anyone make you feel anything other than what you are! and that's completely, utterly adorable! forget about those rotten yuckies.

[missym]

Good advice there alice, 

[Guest Penny]

Everyone is beautiful to someone and that is a fact. I someone disregards you because of your size than they weren't the right person for you to begin with.

 

You will find someone who thinks you are beautiful just as you are and pay no mind to anyone who walks away without getting to know you for who you are.

[Dollie]

Bleh. Don't listen to them. Don't let them put all those thoughts in your head. Just means they aren't the right daddy for you. 

 

I've dealt with that with past relationships. (Before I realized it was actually okay to be little and I had to lock away my little side) It was terrible and made me hate every moment of being in my skin. My fiance broke down all those thoughts and he made me feel beautiful just the way I am. I'm not plus sized, but I'm also not skinny. I'm just in some weird, overweight gray area. >~< Someone will think you're perfect just the way that you are. You won't have any negitive comments from them, or be told "you need to loose weight" (I couldn't stand being told that one).

 

Just embrace who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin. Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

Also, your profile picture is absolutely adorable!!! People just have unrealistic standards because of media. Don't listen to 'em!  <3

 

(I think I repeated myself a little. Sorry. I'm sleepy. >~<)

[Guest Hugh Jass]

Grrrrr!  This makes me seethe.   It annoys me like you wouldn't believe!

 

I haven't got to know you at all so far Clair, but I have seen you type in chat and you seem to be a very pleasant and sweet girl.  I get so annoyed by shallow and superficial people who disregard others, or worse degrade them, on grounds of their size or looks, when clearly as a person they have so, so, so much to offer.

 

Personally, I would rather have had a girl who I could have cuddled properly any day of the week, rather than feeling her bones through her shirt!

 

Please pay them no heed at all, you will find a Daddy who loves you for YOU at some point.  Don't let them get you down!

[OhioDaddy76]

I agree with the sentiments already given. I would only add that you may have to accept that not every shoe fits every foot. While I hear that this is hurting your feelings, I think you need to know that you too have some boundaries about what you like aesthetically in a daddy and that not every daddy, whether they are wonderful people or not, will appeal to you.

 

You probably wouldn't characterize your choices as "beard shaming" or "wears black socks with sandals and shorts shaming" So maybe it helps a bit to reframe your outlook? I don't see a ton of value in framing any guy not interested in a plus sized little as a jerk as I think this sets up a negative outlook and creates a happiness based off of diminishing others vice a happiness based off of acceptance of ourselves and ultimately knowing you are worthy of love for who you are. That doesn't mean everyone will love you for who you are, but the right people will recognize it and seek it out!

 

I am sorry your feelings were hurt, and I hope some bit of advice in here helps restore some confidence in your worth.

[Princess-P]

I think its important to remember that not everyone is attracted to every body type. This doesn't mean being plus sized is ugly, or that someone is "fat shaming" because they aren't attracted to larger women.

 

Its important to love yourself for who you are. Eventually someone will come along who loves every beautiful inch of you, and love what's inside even more. Being plus sized myself, I know this is true.

 

I'm sorry you feel rejected by these people, they just weren't ment for you. But someone is

 

I feel it is much better to get a "sorry I'm not interested" then try to force something with someone who doesn't appreciate and love everything you are.

[marbeless]

I have had similar feelings of rejection in the past, but I like to be contrary, so a few years ago I flipped the reasoning:

 

rather than feel rejected because of my size....

 

... now I feel happy to have weeded out the shallow ones before getting deeper involved emotionally.

 

So basically, such a rejection, is them doing my work for me and removing themselves from my consideration on the basis of their own acknowledgment of not meeting my standards!

 

(it took a while to flip my feelings around like this, but I feel was well worth the effort... best of luck with whatever solution you find works best for you)

[Princess-P]

The original poster says "when they find out I'm plus size they completely disregard me with a stupid apology." To me this means they state they are no longer interested but don't actually pick on or harass her.

 

If anyone is being harassed or picked on in a relationship its abuse and should never be tolerated. However having a personal preference when it comes to apperence doesn't make someone a bad person. Someone might be a great person but how do you move on with a person who just doesn't turn you on physically?

 

I like what Toddler-girl says. Look at it as a filter. They are removing themselves so you don't have to. Less time wasted so you can continue to search for someone right for you.

[Guest Bear]

Ok, so this is a very unhealthy way to approach this kinds of rejections.

There is nothing wrong with Daddies who might choose to reject you because you're plus size. 
People cant force themselves to be attracted to you, and sadly attratcion is a key part of a relationship, and that is 100% absolutley fine. 

If somone actually does shame you that is a different story, and we're talking about mean-spirited people, that are probably just too filled with self-hatred. 

Please, if you actually do think you have a weight-gain problem and it hurts your confidence and overall quality of life- do somthing about it.
Blaming the world or other people's perferances just because they dont work for your benefits isnt going to get you anywhere. Trust me, Ive been there.



Im sure there are daddies who would adore your plus size, though. Whatever floats the boat.

[Littlest_Lushie]

I'm so so sorry that you've endured that dear. I've experienced similar things. But, I will tell you that all hope is not lost. I'am a plus size little, 260 lbs. I have a wonderful Daddy now, he loves my chubby areas and he can even pick me up. I thought that I would have a very hard time finding a Daddy as well. But, as others have said- you are picking out the ones that don't work, and narrowing it down. I know its hard now, but you will find a Daddy. You really will. He will love everything about you, even your size. I used to think it was Mission Impossible, but its not. Keep yourself engaged in the community, express yourself, and I'm sure a Daddy will soon follow. 

 

You are beautiful. You truly are. 

[nymphette]

Plus size littles are awesome!!! Im a plus size little. Yes sometimes i hate it but then i remember something. If guys say they do not like plus size then they are just afraid they cant handle us. They are scared they are just scared little boys. They are not men. Real men and daddies can handle us and appreciate us.

[Guest NewYorkDaddy]

I've had littles ignore me after I send a picture. It sucks but you can't expect every guy to like you.

[nymphette]

Of course not everyone is going to like just one person. Its the shaming and stuff that bothers us.

[Princess-P]

Of course shaming someone based on their apperence is wrong. Its just down right cruel. But being told "sorry I'm not interested" because you don't fit that persons physical preference is in no way shaming.

 

Just going by what the original poster said , no actual shaming happened. She felt yucky and rejected by lack of interest. Of course those are normal feelings. But they come from a dissatisfaction in ourselves. Best to love yourself and not put so much stock into what others think. Neither your value or beauty is based on anyones opinion but your own.

[Tay212]

I have not actually talked to many Daddy's at all, but I'm sure this will come up for me eventually.  I did get stood up once by a vanilla guy I met online and he asked for a date before he asked for a full body pic.  At least they are bugging off with an apology...even if it's a lame one.  And I've also had people say hurtful things.  I think the one that upset me the most is when a guy I had been talking to for a while and really liked told me that the main reason was talking to me in spite of my looks was because I was so fat and unattractive he knew I would be less likely to ever cheat on him.  Rejection hurts, no matter what the reason.  It's hard to remember that it's our own pride that is making us hurt most of the time and not the person that wasn't interested.

 

I can say that I get frustrated sometimes because I am not little and cute like I feel on the inside and I know that I am not going to meet the preferences of a lot of people.  And also finding super cute clothes is really hard. 

 

Now, I have seen "Daddies" make posts or say in their profile that they do not believe that littles in general should be of a certain age or size and have used mean words to describe their feelings about it.  And I think to put it in general terms instead of as person preference is fat shaming. 

[Daddy4Princess]

Everyone is different. Everyone has preferences.

 

I personally love plus sized babygirls. My current babygirl is plus sized and I can't get enough of her.

 

Find someone who loves you for you. Believe me, there's plenty of Daddies put there who would do just that.

[Guest kyril]

Yeep, I agree. For every little there is a daddy that will end up appreciating and loving for who you are, the same for daddies, we just gotta find the right match and that is something we can't rush ourselves into. I can understand that rejection might end up giving you a slight drawback and affect your self-confidence. But hey, have patience, and keep looking and don't change yourself if you feel fine in your own skin.

[Ceasarsolo]

I've been ashamed of who I look like for a long time. But recently I started doing things that I liked about me, my awsome red beard is one.... I guess my point is that it's ok to feel down on yourself sometimes as long as you know you are actually beautiful/handsome. Its your personallity that really matters or rather whats on the inside that counts the most. You will find someone who wants to be with you because of who you are! : )

[mmuis1966]

Some really good advices already. Just wanted to throw in my personal thoughts. I would also see it as a natural filter, definitely not a rejection. Why start something with someone that is not into you? Mutual attraction is based on so many levels. Appearance being one of them.

 

Personally I have a preference for curvy. Because I don't like skinny, so that means my selection is discriminating all thin littles? Nah, it just is a preference and it helps us that the right choices are made. Or prevent the wrong choices are made, either way.

[Princess Ahri]

I'm going to be saying what everyone else is saying, but everyone isn't attracted to the same thing. But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you!

 

I had a master who actually preferred chubbier girls, it felt kind of bad but I knew I was comfortable in my skin so that's all that mattered.

 

People shouldn't throw the 'shaming' word everywhere, because it's not what it is.

[Guest DaddysLolita]

I am sorry you had to experience that. I know how it can hurt to be blown off for your weight, I'm not skinny and never have been. Growing up it took me a while to become comfortable with myself to the point where I'm just like, to each their own, I have my preferences and if someone doesn't like me, that's fine.

 

It does seem harsh to be given an apology, but at least no time was wasted.

 

All I can say is love yourself and be comfy in your body <3

[CuddleMonster89]

All throughout highschool and college I was overweight, and by the time I graduated college, in January 2011, I weighed 347 pounds. I felt completely invisible to girls. I've been rejected many times, and most times I've felt like it was because I was overweight, even if it wasn't always explicitly stated. Since then I've lost quiet a bit of weight, though I'm still technically overweight, and whenever a girl rejects me or stops responding to me, part of me still feels like it's because of the way I look, if not because of my weight, then because of the spot on the top of my head that's already starting to go bald, or that my ears are really big.

 

I'm sharing this because I'm a Daddy who has told little girls we are not compatible after learning they are plus-sized, and I don't mean to cause any shame or ill-will. I know what it can feel like to be rejected for being plus-sized. It can feel very painful and frustrating, like I'm not good enough. I can feel ashamed, like I'm unworthy of love and belonging. It totally sucks. I wouldn't want to inflict those feelings on anyone. And because I know what it feels like when I'm rejected based on my body type, I feel bad when I inform someone we're not compatible because I'm not attracted to her body type. I wish I could become attracted to everyone and not need to cause anyone the pain of rejection. Being attracted to more body types and more people would also increase the size of my dating pool and make it easier for me to find a compatible partner. But I'm only human, and as a human I don't have the luxury to choose who I am attracted to.

 

I used to believe that rejecting a girl because I wasn't attracted to her was wrong, like it made me shallow and superficial. A few years ago I tried to be in a DD/lg relationship with a plus-sized little hoping I would somehow grow attracted to her over time, or that attraction wouldn't be necessary for a happy healthy relationship, but I was wrong. A few months into the relationship we tried to have sex a few times but I would look at her naked body and not feel any lust or sexual attraction at all. This disappointed both of us. She felt unattractive because of my lack of physical response, and I felt like I failed as a man. I put a lot of pressure on her to lose weight. I made her exercise an hour every day, gave her calorie limits on how much she could eat, and had her write down everything she ate and report it to me. I told her about a reward she would earn after losing the first 10 pounds. I did everything I could think of to help her lose weight, but she made no progress. It was very discouraging. We were just sad and stressed together for three months in an unhappy relationship until I finally decided we were incompatible and we had a painful breakup.

 

Since then I've come to believe that rejecting someone because I'm not attracted to them is okay since attraction is necessary for a functioning sexual relationship. I still believe shallowness is wrong, though I define shallowness as breaking up with one person in order to date a more attractive person, or ranking people based on how they look, or trying to date or win over the cutest girl around just because she is the cutest. I don't consider myself shallow because I'm not trying to win over the cutest girl. I don't rank or compare girls based on looks or care who is more attractive. I'm just trying to find someone I'm compatible with.

 

When I tell someone we're not compatible - be it because of body type, or because she's underage, or non-monogamous, or has hard limits that don't work for me, or because she lives on the other side of the world, or for any other deal-breaker of mine - I'm not trying to be mean, picky, judgmental, or shallow. I'm just saving both of us a lot of time. Whenever I learn I'm not compatible with someone, I simply say something like "Sorry, I'm looking for someone who has a small or average body type. We are not compatible. I believe you will make a special Daddy very happy some day!" I don't make any mean, cruel, or shaming remarks, or any value judgments. I just inform them we are not compatible as kindly as possible and then move on.

[Daddyofprincess]

Ohhhhh I'm sorry. But it's more than likely a good thing they left you because if they didn't want to talk to you after they found out they didn't have good intentions and would have hurt you later any way. But I personally love a bigger little. It's just more princess to love