Judgement day ... dundundun.

[DaddysMonkey]

...... Hi. *waves*

 

So I guess I think a lot more than I ever realized. As I’ve been trying to be more active in the community , my mind is flooded with topics to ask about and discuss. To learn about other humans , myself , the perspective of other people in this lifestyle.

 

Something I’m thinking about this morning , is judgment. A lot of people feel like it’s such a bad word and has some negative emotions connected to it. I think judging isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We do it to humans , inanimate objects , food , animals. It’s how we feel out our red flags that we have in our own mind , how we test waters and try to keep ourselves safe.

 

Of course , there is such a thing as ignorant judgment. (Racism for example. Get fucked if you are.. actually you don’t deserve to be fucked..)

 

I personally am interested in how people judge others , how do you measure someone up ? How do you determine if someone is good for your life or is .... bringing you down so to speak. How do you judge whether you would even talk to someone ?

 

I personally believe that people’s judgment systems show a lot of what people are insecure about , and their fears. So its very telling to me , when having a conversation with a potential friend and they are assessing someone’s worth when I don’t even know either of them well. My measurements for the persons worth will be much different than said friend.

 

So , how do you measure people up ? What do you judge / observe that makes someone eligible to be in your life vs not ?

 

 

One of my main judgements is on lying. I can sniff out lies like a fuckin hound. If I ever catch someone in a lie , all of my respect for them is lost and I expect everything they tell me to be a lie from then on out. I catch customers in lies all the time , and I feel like a grumpy old fart and want to call them out... but I just leave it alone and choose not to associate.

 

Something else I’m constantly watching (I’m a people watcher 0-0) , is how someone treats other individuals. If someone is acting entitled , like they are better than everyone else and treat others with disrespect , not allowed in my life. In my eyes , everyone is equal until you fuck up. Then I’ll gladly hate you. Until then , everyone’s on the same playing field. Again , I see this with customers. A construction guy will be dirty after work , and a businessman that’s very clean will interrupt conversations and demand to be helped even though the dirty guy was there well before the businessman. Even with the younger generation that comes into my shop , they will interrupt the elders in the shop and be very rude and annoying while I’m trying to help someone. Like who the fuck raised you ? Wait your turn and be respectful.

 

Two that are tied together in my eyes ; physical strength and honor. This one is probably a little more frivolous and is caused by my monkey brain.... but I definitely measure people up by their physical strength and their honor they uphold with that strength. As someone that grew up in a very rough environment and had to physically defend myself all the time , physical power is one of my first judgments I make. Growing up where and how I did , you never knew if a fist fight was going to break out. So whenever someone new comes into my environment, my first thought is “if something goes down , can I win in the altercation ?” Most would think it’s pride , in my eyes it’s not. It’s just a genuine judgment of the other person and an assessment of my own strength in comparison. If I know I’m gunna lose , at least I’m mentally prepared to go down giving my all. The honor that ties into it for me , is dependent on how they carry themselves. There’s always the gym rats that skip leg day and just work out to “look good”. Then there’s what are in my opinion , the honorable strong people. They don’t do it for aesthetics , it’s for the greater good. If someone was stuck in a car they could get them out type of strength. Someone that doesn’t flaunt it , but is happy to use it in need.

 

A judgment that shows my insecurity....... when a person dressed extremely nice. 8/10 times if someone looks like they are filthy rich I probably won’t go out of my way to talk to you. I don’t consider myself rich , but I’m decently well off. Every time I’ve ever met a “rich” person , I always feel belittled , like my clothes are raggedy. Meeting people that are so well dressed and put together make me feel really small as a human. It’s not even every individuals fault , I’ve just had very bad experiences with people who are very well set in life monetarily and it just makes me feel like a bum. So I just avoid people (outside of work) that look like they could buy my fuckin existence. I’m sure they could be perfectly nice , but something about being in a “different world” as someone else puts me off.

 

So... what are your judgments ? I have plenty more , but I figure this is enough to get started.

Thanks in advance to anyone who participated in the conversation.

Edited March 23, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[Spooky]

I find your judgement about how people dress to be really interesting. I am kinda opposite, I judge people who take don't care of themselves or their things. Like you can have a tiny, crappy apartment, but are you keeping it clean? You can have lower quality clothes, but are you taking care of them? I think this is my most unfair judgement since I know from personal experience that if you are going through a hard time, the basics are really challenging to take care of. When it comes to friends of mine not taking care of themselves, I pick up on it very quickly and try to be supportive to help them through it. 

My biggest judgement is how people talk about others. If I hear nothing but negativity come out of your mouth about people, I won't enjoy your company. And I will feel paranoid that you will talk about me too lol. 

 

I judge people who don't like animals, because wtf. 

I 10000% agree with your judgement on people treat others. There is nothing more fucked up than treating someone like they are less than you.

 

I judge people who are on their phones in social environments - I just recently found this to be a huge pet peeve of mine. Generally I feel like if you are in the presence of  company, you should be engaging with others. Being on your phone is pretty dumb since we have no way of connecting and bonding. However, I do redact that for large social gatherings, since it can be challenging to connect with people in those situations. 

Thanks for the cool conversation starter! 
 

Edited March 23, 2021 by Spooky

[Guest Hero_Yuri]

I judge by the content of ones character. Also, hello *jojo pose*

[Nymph]

People who do not keep their word are a big pet peeve of mine. ALWAYS arriving late or not showing up, ALWAYS making excuses because it is never their fault... so basically, handymen and contractors in my country. I've heard is not much better in most places though, it's like it's a fucking requirement to get into the trade and drive everyone crazy or just wing it with a DIY youtube video because you don't want to deal with those horrible creatures. If there was a single one that cared to do their job half way right, they would be filthy rich.

 

*sigh* now that is out of my system, I guess I can sum it up with people who waste my valuable time. If you don't want to work don't work, but don't schedule an appointment with me and leave me waiting or expect me to chase you around you know?

 

 

When I was single and dating online, there was guys like this making excuses to meet, this usually meant they were sneaky cheaters or they were otherwise lying to me and never planned to meet... they knew I was interested in long term in person so again, wasting my time. Funny enough, now I would be open to online only, but they would have to be open about it so I would not consider any of those guys I talked to before since they didn't have the balls to say what they wanted, they probably can't handle me anyways lol

[Whitesox]

I judge people on how they treat me, on how they treat others, on whether they're good looking or unattractive, whether they're intelligent or not, whether they are polite or well spoken or not ... on millions of things! And I make snap judgements on these things when I first meet people.

 

But I also make judgements on the second time I see them and the third ... I think I'm always willing to revise a judgement on someone when there's new information, and I try to be aware of the weak foundations of a lot of these judgements - they're just something to steer by, at first.

 

I've known people who have been consistently snooty and superior and rude and I didn't like them and then one day they suddenly come over all friendly. I'm wary and watch them for a while, and I've been confused by such behaviour, but I find it hard to go on disliking someone without cause.

 

Even if I don't really like someone at first I'll try to respect them unless perhaps they hold a political stance I think is immoral - I have difficulty with that. But they can earn my disrespect and I will grant that quite firmly and they will need to work harder to earn it back than they did to lose it. And if someone really earns my disrespect, and continues to reinforce it, I am happy to maintain that stance, possibly permanently if need be.

 

I judge myself too, quite often. I'm probably quite biased in this, but I definitely mark myself down at times.

 

I think judgement is a natural function of how our brains work and fighting it may sometimes be honourable but I'm not sure how successful one can be. And judgement fulfils an important function. It's better, I think, to simply not be too firm about any judgements unless there's really solid evidence to support it and one is sure one has the whole picture, which is usually not actually possible: at least not without knowing someone for years.