my boyfriend only wants to be called daddy sexually

[sadbunnygirl25]

hi! i was wondering if i could get some advice. i’m really sad because i asked my boyfriend how he felt about getting called daddy in an innocent way and he said he found it weird. does that mean he only wants to take care of me sexually but not in all the other ways?

 

he told me he likes pet names, but i just don’t feel comfortable calling him them because he’s superior to me so it doesn’t really work, you know? i tried explaining it to him but he didn’t understand me i really crave having a daddy to look after me and i’m quite upset he doesn’t want to be that for me. i’m even considering breaking up with him.

[Guest Sawyer]

Try to talk to him again about why it is important to you.  If it helps, write him a letter.  Take the time to write down all the reasons you need this in a relationship.  Then either give it to him or read it to him.  Ultimately you will have to decide if the two of you are compatible or not.  But you should not have to sacrifice something that is important to you to please your partner.  Keep trying.  But do what is best for you.

[Guest Hero_Yuri]

probably best you break up tbh, doesn't seem like it is working out.

[Little kaiya]

Just as you shouldn't have to give up something that is important for you, he shouldn't have to do something he is uncomfortable with. Have an adult conversation where you both can express yourself and be respected then make a decision that works for you both.

[princessfreckles]

It sounds like he doesn't have any interest in dynamic part of ddlg that you've made clear you want and need. You've told him your position, and he made his clear. Sadly you're at an impasse, and neither of you will change your position. I'd say due to that you're not compatible because you want a Daddy in more areas of your life than just sex, your best option is to go your separate ways. You can find a dynamic that fulfills your needs and he can find someone who meets his needs. 

[cloudcat]

I may be wrong, but the way it sounds to me is that you primarily focused on his feelings towards you calling him daddy, rather than asking about the emotional care and dynamic you want from him. Just because he doesn't like being called that specific title doesn't necessarily mean he'd be unwilling to act in a caregiver role in whatever way you might have in mind, after you discuss what you both want.

 

As the others have said, please sit down and have an open discussion about it! explain what you desire in a relationship and let him do the same, and you might be able to find that you're still compatible with each other.

 

"does that mean he only wants to take care of me sexually but not in all the other ways?"

That's a question that only the two of you can really figure out, so again please really have an honest discussion with one another about what you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship.

[daddymind]

It always breaks my heart to read this kind of thing. The fact you said you crave it is something I relate to, just for a different thing. It really can feel like an intense life calling. On the other hand we can't make people something they are not. People tend to fall into three main categories when it comes to adopting a specific lifestyle or role...

 

1) They are like hell yes that's who I am

2) They are unsure or not into it but willing to try (as a kind of service to you)

3) They simply can't relate to it or find it too uncomfortable to even try

 

He's gonna be either 2 or 3 by the sounds of it. If you feel you need a 1, it's unlikely this is the guy for you. I say unlikely because sometimes people can grow into a role over time (I didn't even think about the daddy thing until about two years ago. Now I feel it's like a part of me that was just waiting to come out). But that's a gamble you'd have to be willing to take. I know it's difficult because if he's your ideal partner in every other way, it can be difficult to give all that up for someone else. But I do understand just how important the 24/7 daddy is to some. Talk it through with him and I'm sure you'll know in your heart and mind what you truly want.

[pawsies]

I definitely don't think him saying he finds it weird to be called Daddy in an innocent way means that he only wants to take care of you sexually. I think that's a bit of a stretch. From what I can understand it means that he doesn't want to be called Daddy outside the bedroom. Is he any less your caregiver if you're not calling him Daddy? Or is the title more important to you? Does he suddenly not look after you when you're not calling him Daddy? Is there not any other pet name/title you can use?

I think there actually needs to be more detail here because it seems (to me) that you're thinking about breaking up with him just because he feels uncomfortable being called something on a casual basis. I feel like some responses to this have been made on assumptions about the relationship, and maybe mine has as well. But I am only going off the points that have been made in the original post. I really don't understand where others are commenting that maybe be doesn't care or isn't interested in ddlg. It seems as if your partner just doesn't want to be called Daddy, so I feel like that's a bit unfair to say he's not interested.

[SmolAetherr]

hi! i was wondering if i could get some advice. i’m really sad because i asked my boyfriend how he felt about getting called daddy in an innocent way and he said he found it weird. does that mean he only wants to take care of me sexually but not in all the other ways?

 

he told me he likes pet names, but i just don’t feel comfortable calling him them because he’s superior to me so it doesn’t really work, you know? i tried explaining it to him but he didn’t understand me i really crave having a daddy to look after me and i’m quite upset he doesn’t want to be that for me. i’m even considering breaking up with him.

 

now hang on a second, assuming he only wants ddlg in the bedroom is a unfair assumption to make especially when you make no mention of talking to him about this yourself before going to a forum filled with people who don't know him, you or your relationship, not to mention that if it were true it makes it no less valid but that's not the thing you are asking

 

by your own words he said he finds being called "daddy" weird outside the bedroom... find something else then, talk to him about it instead of going into panic mode

 

and why would you think it doesn't work, you can call him anything you both agree on and that wont change the fact that he is your dom, you need to adjust your expectations so that he is comfortable too.. that is if you want this to work.

As for craving a daddy to look after you, does he not do that? genuine question, and I'm saying does he play the part in your mind because if so that makes him your dom 

Edited March 16, 2021 by Aetherr

[StrngButSweetDD]

It sounds to me like you need to approach this in two parts:

 

First explain to him the way that you want him to love you and care for you outside of the sex.  Give him lots of details about how it makes you feel and why it is important for you.

 

And then explain that when you get that, you feel like a little girl, who is safe in her Daddy's arms.

 

I think sometimes people get hung up on the word and not what it MEANS.  I didn't fully understand what Daddy meant outside of sex when I was new to all this.  And yet I figured it out and love being a Daddy with every fiber of me.

 

So have a conversation and see if you two can align.  Best of luck!