Assumptions !

[DaddysMonkey]

..... Hi. *waves*

 

Normally even if people try their best not to , we often make snap judgements about people by what they are wearing or what they look like. I don’t mean serious or necessarily hurtful assumptions, just things people tend to get wrong about others.

 

What is an assumption that is often made about you that is completely off base ? Why do you think they make this assumption ? What is an assumption you’ve made about someone else , only to find out you were also very wrong ? Why did you make your assumption ?

 

An assumption about me people make ; That I listen to only heavy metal or rock. While I don’t mind either of those , it’s rarely on my playlist. I think people make the assumption because I have a lot of tattoos , gauged ears and am a cookie cutter for the stereotypical “rocker chick”.

 

Assumption I made about someone ; I had a customer for a very long time , and he’s always been very clean cut business like guy. I assumed he would never have watched anime or be interested in it , it seemed like too much of a generation gap for him to “get” anime LOL. I had HunterxHunter on at my work , and he went BONKERS! He was so excited about it , and I was shocked. He just never seemed like the anime type of person , we geeked out for a minute and now we talk about anime every time he comes in.

 

Thanks in advance if you share.

Edited February 24, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[baby_k]

I'm those people who are little bit of everything, so there is all sort of assumptions often. Those assumptions can be bit of contradictions to each other also, such as "she is careful about her looks, and matches her clothes always" / "she doesn't care about looks but about comfort and practicality", "she is cute lil damsel in distress" / "she will rock any hard situation", "she is kind, caring and mellow, but also insecure and timid" / "that cold hearted b*tch has more balls then most men together, and takes no wishywashy talk".

 

I find those mainly funny. And even more funny when people realise that there is a lot more to me than they have seen.

 

I would be offended if what people assumed about me were not at least a bit true but mainly it is just that they have seen me in some situation and therefore just one side of me. I guess this happens to me as I tend to ( over )focus on situation a lot and adapt like water, so the other sides of me are temporarily not seen. Other than that I think we all have different sides to us.

 

Assumptions I make.... probably there is tons but mostly those won't be too visible as I'm not that interested in people, so the assumptions have no effect and just take what comes from people. I guess I don't consider others so much or how I should be with them, so assumptions won't change my behaviour or actions that much.

 

Worst assumptions with real effect I have made have maybe been about language: getting random call where someone has poor language skills ( either my native or some bad indian accent english )  makes me think it's a scam call, so I hung up. I did hung up on some lady 3 times actually untill they just sent me an email about it ( they tried to tell me my order was done ), whooopsss . And once I hung up as it seemed telemarketing instead of a dude calling me back from a company I had contacted...    So, yeah, I'm pretty fast to react to any random calls as I have been bothered with those too much, and really can't tolerate people bothering me that way.

[Vampiress]

Things about me that tend to surprise/shock people who have me... the biggest one that shocks people is that I'm still a virgin, I guess based on how I talk about sex and kink, and stuff along those lines. I guess most people just expect me to be highly sexually active, but that's just not the case. Other things that they find surprising are that I am really into sports (baseball and football) and trucks and stuff like that, I suppose because I present so feminine to them that they do not expect it of me.

 

I'm usually very perceptive and don't often incorrectly judge someone upon first meeting them in a negative way, but I did have this friend in middle school and high school that I initially just decided I didn't like her for no good reason. She was friends with friends of mine though so I just slowly got to know her over time and we ended up becoming friends. That friendship was a lesson to me in not judging people without at least trying to get to know them. She did end up having some issues (like her beliefs about lgtbqia+ due to religions and some hypocritical things she'd do) but she wasn't what I had assumed to begin with.

[ThatOneGuyTho]

Hmm, I think the biggest assumption made about me is I don't care/like anyone, or that I don't have feelings. IRL I keep everyone at a very far distance, and rarely let anyone know anything about me. My coworkers always introduce me as the guy who hates everyone, or a machine lol.. Online, is that's I'm a total idiot, or complete goof, but I love to be underestimated so I never try to correct assumptions. The reality is, I just have social anxiety, and I have a very hard time making connections to people.. And when I do well.. it's A) A miracle and Has ended bad for me every time =(. 

 

Assumptions I make about people... Well I have one of those brains that's always trying to figure everything out in advance, so I probably make thousands of assumptions about a person before ever exchanging words... I think mostly, I always assume people don't like me, or hate me (even people who have never met, or spoken to me). I also tend to think everyone is better than I am, at literally everything. 

[StrngButSweetDD]

DaddysMonkey is indeed on FIRE with these topics!!  I love all of the discussions these have prompted.  They're all things that seem somewhat tangent to DDlg, but in reality have big impacts on how we relate to others.

 

That's one of the things that I try to focus on in ddlg, in D/s, and just in friendships and life - removing obstacles to communication and obstacles to developing closer, better relationships.

 

And assumptions can definitely be exactly that.

 

I liked your story about the clean cut guy who turned out to surprise you.  And as a traditionally masculine man working a traditionally masculine job I can get those kinds of assumptions about me.  One thing I love about the EDM world and going to events (when we could anyway...) is that it cuts away a lot of these superficial things and you really see and meet the inner person.  It's a reflection of ddlg, but on the level of friendship.  It's always fun to connect with people who are from TOTALLY different worlds irl

[MissPattch]

The biggest assumption people make about me is that i can handle any thing and everything that comes my way easily and without assistance, and that i like doing it by my self. This couldn't be any further from the truth. I do it by myself because i learnt from an early age that you can't really count on anybody but yourself. In reality, i want somebody to experience this life with. Somebody to talk to about all the beautiful things i've seen and done, and to listen as they tell me about theirs. Somebody to sit with until stupid o'clock, talking about philosophy and mythology and science and religion and politics.

 

The biggest assumption i ever made was just because somebody looks healthy on the outside, doesn't necessarily mean they are on the inside. You never know what somebody is going through, so i try to be nice to every body now. 

[Kitten&Spice]

I would have to say that one I get often is that I am a very innocent person. It could be due to the fact that I sometimes don’t understand certain sexual references, I don’t drink and party, and my lack of experience. It is always seems to shock to people what music I listen to, what kind of things I am into, how I dress outside of work and family get togetherness and how I talk different as well. I know a lot of people were shocked that I was a social drinker and vape occasionally. It is rare for most people to know what I am like outside of more professional settings and it really shocks a lot of people when they do meet me outside work! Another one and it is more of my parents but they assume I am girly and have a feminine type of style. If anyone knows me they would know that is far from true but again it is just an assumption.

 

As for what I have assumed about others I actually believed that one of my friends was bisexual when she wasn’t. I couldn’t say as to why I thought this when none of what she says hints that type of thing. It just kinda shocked me recently when she told me she was straight. Of course I respect that just hated I had that kind of assumption when I am usually perceptive and pick up on the way people are after a short time. Doesn’t mean I am always right but I normally am in most cases.

[DaddysMonkey]

Because it’s been happening at work so much lately , I thought I would add another assumption people make about me.

 

Ever since I shaved my head , TONS of people just assume I’m a lesbian. Not just a lesbian either , but because I’m a tomboy I’ve had several people ask me what my pronouns are , ask if I’m a boy (which blows my mind cause my huge knockers are right fucking there to see even if I dress more boyish) or call me sir or more masculine names till they realize I’ve got boobs... and they just look confused.

 

BUT , I feel like some people would be offended by all that.. I’m not in the slightest. It’s actually really nice to see humans evolve , be inclusive , ask pronouns and not judge others for the way they look. It’s been really nice seeing how many old ladies ask “what do you wanna be called darlin” <3

Edited March 5, 2021 by DaddysMonkey