Feeling Really Discouraged.

[little1grl]

I am feeling a little discouraged right now about finding a Daddy. I feel like, it's very hard to find someone who matches up with me... with the kind of Daddy/little relationship I need (i.e. interested in my little age for example) and someone who is also stable, does not have a shady history, is not married... and especially... does not have massive red flags.

I think I am also a little burned out because I looked a lot on fetlife before I started looking here. I really really really wanted to find someone local. (Though I am ok with long distance relationships now, if thats what it takes. And I do think it could work and that I could be happy with the right Daddy now)

 

But, I would put personals up, I would title them "Looking for a Daddy" and not a single person that responded to my personal was an actual Daddy. Well, one might have been an ageplayer... I wouldn't want to call him a Daddy because he was so horrible I cannot taint the name Daddy. Something was wrong with him, he kept touching me in bad ways, and I kept telling him to stop and he wouldn't!

 

I kept getting horrible people like that ever since I tried finding people during COVID too. (I got mostly normal people before COVID- except one. He was semi- normal semi-not. Sort of half/half. But since then... everyone has had massive red flags). But I don't know, it seems I keep attracting people who are not stable or not really... I don't know. The kind of people who friends are telling me to run from. So I keep meeting the kind that give off massive red flags. The last... Four or five men/(and one Daddy) I have met have been that way. What is going on? Is there something in my personals that scream "choose this one!" to the ones with red flags? Am I just not talking to the ones that don't have red flags? (Well I feel like I talk one or two of them but for one reason or another we aren't a match kink wise or whatever).

I'm feeling really discouraged by this. I'd rather date nobody than somebody with massive red flags. But I really want to be with somebody too.

Edited February 20, 2021 by little1grl

[Guest Sawyer]

Hi there!  I know for a fact that other people in the community have similar experiences and feel the same way.  I have been through this many times while trying to find a partner.  It's not you.  And I did not notice any red flags in your personal.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is put yourself out there, knowing that heartbreak and emotional toil is going to happen.  And because of the internet, there will always be those who just want to take advantage because they don't look at the person on the other end of the line as an individual with feelings.  To them, you are a target who may just give them the few moments of pleasure they seek.  But I want you to stay strong and keep moving forward.  Don't let the downs stop you from making friends and experiencing the true joys of life.  There is someone out there for you.  It may take a long time to find them.  But it is worth the wait.  It can be particularly difficult for those of us who have careers, houses, and an established life in a particular place.  Finding that special someone becomes even harder when they have to be close by or in a place in their life where they can travel or relocate.  It makes the limited number of potential partners that much smaller.  Over the years, I have found that making friends and just being open minded makes the biggest difference.  The right person will come along when you least expect.  Hang in there.  Don't give up.  You are not alone. 

[MissPattch]

I was once given some advice when i started dating, and that was that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before one turns into a prince. 

 

As an older little (I'm 40), i know where you're coming from with a lot of Daddy's only looking for littles in the younger demographic. But trust me, there are Daddies out there that are interested and actively looking for somebody who doesn't "fit" the usual mold.  I've only been actively involved in this community since last January, but i have had more than my fair share of mistakes and red flags. Some i saw straight away, others not until i'd already started down that slippery slope of feelings >.<

 

You have to remember, its hard enough to find somebody you are compatible with in a vanilla setting, so throwing something so niche as DDlg into the mix is inevitably going to make the search for that someone even more arduous. And then you have the pandemic that we're in right now, which is making travelling to be with and meet people near impossible. 

 

Patience is definitely key, and and like Sawyer said, the right one will turn up when you least expect it. Case in point, when my Daddy first approached me, i was adamant that i had sworn off of looking for somebody after several failed attempts at trying to connect, so i friend-zoned him right off the bat. 5 months later, we have slowly but surely found we have a lot in common and very similar outlooks on life, and have moved organically into Daddy / little.  

 

I posted somewhere before that the best way to approach finding a partner is to keep them all at arms length for a good while. The ones that only want to "play" will get bored and move on, and the ones that are truly interested in you for the amazing person you are, will stay and be present.

 

Keep your chin up, They are out there, i promise <3

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I don't personally recommend FL as that place seems to attract a lot of shady people since the site seems more focused on sex. But of course, there are exceptions to that, just like with anything.

 

If you're open to dating long distance, that would at least widen your pool. It may not happen here, just try different places and it doesn't have to be kink related to find a compatible/kinky partner who is a Daddy either (or would be if they explored it). I didn't meet my Daddy on a kink site, just a normal dating site.

 

I agree that you should also take your time with feeling people out so as not to put yourself in dangerous situations. There are unfortunately a lot of creeps out there. Someone worth your time, will understand that relationships take time to develop, they don't move at lightning speed.

 

If you're feeling burnt out, I'd say give yourself a break for a bit to re-center yourself. I know what that feels like and you really need to take time to recharge before diving in again or you'll overwhelm yourself. If you have some sort of meditation practice, that can be helpful.

[ThatOneGuyTho]

First off, I totally get not wanting to be alone, but we can't just settle for anyone either. I'm probably just going to echo what's already been said but.. Finding a partner is hard period. We don't wanna be alone, so we settle for less.. Which works for a little while, but in end we end up back where we started, alone.. trying to pick up the pieces..

 

One piece of advice I'd love everyone to follow here is... SLOW THE EFF DOWN.. The bad ones wanna move fast, if a guy can't wait for things to naturally progress? He's no good, please move on. Don't feel like you need to rush right into things to avoid losing someone, that simply does not work in the long run.. Take your time, invest in the community here.. get to know people, hang out in the chat. Build a natural chemistry with someone, and just let it progress.

 

Stop giving it all up to try to keep someone interested, stop letting wannabe's assert their *dominance* over you, it has to be earned, it has to be respected.. That doesn't happen in 24 hours, it doesn't happen in a week... It takes time, slow the eff down, absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time to know someone. If there is, that's all the red flag you need to invest your time, your heart, your soul, elsewhere.

 

Sorry, kind of a rant in general.. I've seen a lot of worrying cases lately =( Stay safe friends!

Edited February 21, 2021 by ThatOneGuyTho

[RavenclawPrincess]

First off, I totally get not wanting to be alone, but we can't just settle for anyone either. I'm probably just going to echo what's already been said but.. Finding a partner is hard period. We don't wanna be alone, so we settle for less.. Which works for a little while, but in end we end up back where we started, alone.. trying to pick up the pieces..

 

One piece of advice I'd love everyone to follow here is... SLOW THE EFF DOWN.. The bad ones wanna move fast, if a guy can't wait for things to naturally progress? He's no good, please move on. Don't feel like you need to rush right into things to avoid losing someone, that simply does not work in the long run.. Take your time, invest in the community here.. get to know people, hang out in the chat. Build a natural chemistry with someone, and just let it progress.

 

Stop giving it all up to try to keep someone interested, stop letting wannabe's assert their *dominance* over you, it has to be earned, it has to be respected.. That doesn't happen in 24 hours, it doesn't happen in a week... It takes time, slow the eff down, absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time to know someone. If there is, that's all the red flag you need to invest your time, your heart, your soul, elsewhere.

 

Sorry, kind of a rant in general.. I've seen a lot of worrying cases lately =( Stay safe friends!

THIS^^^. All of the this. I couldn't have said it better myself!