I feel it's frustrating that some (not all) older Daddy's only want littles in their 20's

[little1grl]

The pool for Daddy's in their 30's and and 40's on here is not very big. So it's very frustrating and unfair, I think, that there are some Daddy's that only want to date little's in their twenties. (And that they don't want to date other age groups). It reduces the number of Daddy's that little's my age can date. And already, it's hard to find Daddy's in my age range here. From what I understand, there aren't as many Daddy's in their 30's on here in general? That is what I have heard. So- why don't they date little's their own age? I don't feel like it is right.

Maybe many Daddy's aren't like this, I don't know. Maybe most aren't. I have just heard that some are. (Well, I have heard that some men are that way anyway, and Daddy's are men).

I guess they are very looks and appearance oriented. So, maybe they aren't the kind of Daddy I'd want to date anyway if they care so much about looks that they would rather ignore an entire age group. The irony is that I look like I'm in my twenties.

I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking this. Maybe the Daddy's that are with younger little's aren't focusing on age but on personality I don't know. It's just hard to see a couple where the Daddy is in his late 30's or 40's and the little is in her early 20's. Though I have heard that there are men (not necessarily Daddy's) that do avoid their own age groups and only go younger.

I have also encountered this myself... before I came to DDlg... where one guy in his fifties didn't want to date his own age group. And I felt bad for other women in their fifties.

On the other hand I knew someone who dated someone way younger than him, but he didn't pick her because of her age. He also had been interested in women his own age too. I guess it just depends.

Edited February 20, 2021 by little1grl

[baddad]

There are Three reasons I can think of why a Daddy would be exclusively interested in younger women.

 

I think you are only focusing on one potential reason. Younger women have a better chance at being physically attractive.

 

But Daddy has emotions too, not just eyes. Trauma at an early age can slow or stunt the emotional growth process. Over 10% of men are sexually abused as children. They tend to not receive the same level of support as other children. So give at least 10% of Daddys the benefit of the doubt that they are simply reaching out to people who they feel are nearer to their own progress in emotional growth.

 

Alcohol. Use of alcohol as 'medicine' is very accepted and common among men, and they are taught this at a young age. Using alcohol to deal with emotions ends emotional growth. Instead of processing our emotions, we numb them with intoxicants until they go away. This can lead to a severely low emotional age if the alcohol is abused daily from a young age. Men suffering in this way can gravitate to younger dating if they are not enjoying success in romantic relationships among their peers.

 

I am not assigning a right or wrong, or providing excuses for bad behavior , but these are three real ways a Daddy can arrive at the place you are perceiving.

[little1grl]

There are Three reasons I can think of why a Daddy would be exclusively interested in younger women.

 

I think you are only focusing on one potential reason. Younger women have a better chance at being physically attractive.

 

But Daddy has emotions too, not just eyes. Trauma at an early age can slow or stunt the emotional growth process. Over 10% of men are sexually abused as children. They tend to not receive the same level of support as other children. So give at least 10% of Daddys the benefit of the doubt that they are simply reaching out to people who they feel are nearer to their own progress in emotional growth.

 

Alcohol. Use of alcohol as 'medicine' is very accepted and common among men, and they are taught this at a young age. Using alcohol to deal with emotions ends emotional growth. Instead of processing our emotions, we numb them with intoxicants until they go away. This can lead to a severely low emotional age if the alcohol is abused daily from a young age. Men suffering in this way can gravitate to younger dating if they are not enjoying success in romantic relationships among their peers.

 

I am not assigning a right or wrong, or providing excuses for bad behavior , but these are three real ways a Daddy can arrive at the place you are perceiving.

 

 

Interesting. I do think that, there are Daddy's (and men) who date younger and would be just as happy dating people their own age too. So I guess this wouldn't apply. But I think those who only want to date little's 20 years younger (only- exclusively)... this makes sense.

[DaddysMonkey]

Interesting topic. Thank you for posting !

 

It’s my observation and opinion that most daddy’s around their 30-40’s tend to look for younger women because they feel it’s necessary in the dynamic to be the older “wiser” one in the relationship. If their role is to be a caretaker , and someone who looks over another human it’s probably just instinct that they feel they need to be older.

 

I personally don’t think it has anything to do with looks. I’m 27 , and I often get mistaken for way younger than my real age. I have low self esteem so it’s not like I think I’m the hottest person in the planet , but I also logically know I’m not fugly. Age has nothing to do with beauty. I’ve met some 19-24 year olds that were absolutely unattractive (they might be beautiful to someone else of course) , and seen women the age of 50-60 that were so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

 

I enjoy playing the devils advocate so I’ll also throw this out there : There are younger Daddy’s who feel the same as you I would think. A lot of littles refuse to date younger daddy’s because they are so focused on the number of someone’s age , they give up a wonderful opportunity to be with a great daddy because he’s younger. Only to be let down by the older male they chose , realizing that age doesn’t equal maturity. You say you prefer a man that’s 30-40 , well how would all those guys feel that might have a crush on you that are 20-28? Probably pretty left out and like they don’t have a chance to find anyone because there is so much focus on age as a number.

 

It’s my opinion this all just boils down to personal preference. If your preference is hairy old fat men like me , you won’t be that interested when a skinny 22 year old tried to hit you up.

 

Your age number isn’t a badge of leveling up like a video game. A lot of older men I’ve tried to converse with here and outside of here have been pretty awful tbh. Just try your best to focus on the pros and cons of a person , their personality , and if they truly care about the dynamic or if they’re just looking for a young girl to play with

 

Best of luck !.

[StrngButSweetDD]

Older (40s) Daddy here.  I can understand your frustration, it's just tough to feel overlooked - particularly when it feels like a cursory, shallow thing that's not even a solid reason.  Which age definitely can be.

 

The reality is that in dating people will write you off for a whole host of reasons, some quite dumb and even counterproductive for them.  But you just have to shrug it off and keep doing you.  As a man I've been rejected for countless reasons, known and unknown.  Age has been one, both when I was young, and now that I'm older.  I had a girl tell me once I was too "clean cut" for her tastes.  I chuckled over that one, like honey... if you had any idea

 

But not all Daddies are seeking young only.  I'm certainly not.  I seek for the right personality and look, that combo that just instinctively does it for me.  And older littles are as great as littles of any other age.  All littles are precious to their Daddy once they find each other

[Vampiress]

I'm usually pretty blunt here and this answer won't be any different.

 

Yes, a lot of the time looks will be a priority with quite a few men in my experience. I think also, younger girls will be seen as more vulnerable due to their lack of experience. This might be even more tempting to men in this lifestyle. I also feel like the older subs/littles might often be seen as harder to deal with because of more life experience, so more likely to stick up for themselves and be more opinionated. If a guy only wants a very compliant little/sub who he feels he can more easily mold due to her lack of experience, then an older, more established little/sub is probably going to scare them off and seem intimidating.

 

But there are always exceptions to the rules... I've seen several relationships where the Daddy is younger than the sub/little and of course those who date around their own age. As an older little don't be afraid to give the younger Daddies a chance if they are interested in you and if you feel you have compatible personalities and wants.

Edited February 21, 2021 by Vampiress

[Guest Teasing Tink]

To each their own. You wouldn't want to be with someone who just wanted you for your age anyway as you said. So at least it weeds out the people who are incompatible.

 

I'm in my 30s but also look like I'm in my 20s, and I'm with a Daddy in his 40s now. He didn't label himself as a Daddy when we met though, I didn't find him on a kink site, it was just a dynamic that naturally fit us well when we became romantic.

 

When I started dating again at 31, it seemed like I received messages from all age groups but I didn't really keep track of how many from each group. Maybe only a couple or a few in their 20s. I was more focused on discerning if we'd be compatible based on personality. I never really thought I'd end up with someone 11 years older than me -- even at this age. It just worked out that way. Those things go out the window for me when I find a real/great connection.

 

I've heard that dating wise, women in general have it harder once they hit their 30s, because men in their 30s and 40s and even beyond can still get girls in their 20s because a lot of young women are attracted to someone who is already settled and I guess more open to exploration since they're in their 20s. Sometimes men are also put off by women in their 30s because they can be overly/unreasonably picky over superficial things and since the older you are, the more baggage you generally have too, I guess some of them find it hard to find a compatible partner who will give them the time of day who is their own age (if older), so they go for what they can get. And if they can go younger with someone who will, why wouldn't they?

 

Kink wise, some men are obviously into having an age gap though which I'm usually wary of as well. But yeah, at least it weeds people out.

Edited February 21, 2021 by Teasing Tink

[ThatOneGuyTho]

I'll weigh in here, probably gonna make an ass out of myself but hey, don't murder me too bad okay? =) Maybe I can offer a perspective. Though keep in mind, all my experience is strictly vanilla, I've never been in a DDLG relationship. 

I prefer to date younger women, I'll give my perspective and reasonings the best I can for my specific case.. I have no issue with women my age, nor am I opposed to dating someone my age, I just never seem to find that spark.

 

While I don't necessarily have a dating rage, I don't not talk to women around my age (I'm 33), but I do generally find that we're not on the same wavelength. I never dated at all till I was in my 30's, and I've only been in two relationships, one LDR, one IRL. I generally find women in their 20's, are just more compatible with me. Maybe it's because I don't have the dating experience so there's some comfort in finding another person with a similar level of experience? On another level, theirs this expectation with older women where, they seem to wanna settle down right away and start the baby factory? Now obviously this is not everyone, nor do I mean to stereotype.. And I can totally feel your eyes rolling, I'm sorry!! When my ex left me, I went down that hole of *gotta find love again* Went on like every dating app for a few months, and this was generally the case with women around my age in my experience in my area.

 

But I'm a bit of a terror.. I had to grow up really quickly, and I found myself OD'd on this and that medication by my parent, so I never really had a teenager phase.. I didn't really get to do stupid things, and just have fun and live.. My previous ex was in her 20's and we had tons of fun, I lived more in the year we were together than I have my whole life tbh. It wasn't the sex, or anything like that.. It was like, hey lets goto the store at 2 am and buy popcorn and stuff for our movie night! Living in the moment, doing silly things that I feel like people my age would think was just stupid? 

 

Which is another thing I experienced.. Women my age just seem so jaded with dating, and just over it.. My dumbass still believes in love, I wanna hold hands all the time, cuddles, tickle fights! Be each others world.. (No, I know... I learned my lesson with that last item) I can't tell you how many dating profiles of women my age I've read that seemed they were just yelling at me about all the bad guys they've dated? All the bad habbits they wanted you to know they've had enough of.. I don't even get to know them at all, just this giant rant.. 

 

I've always done the right thing, the mature thing, thought everything out a billion times.. I see the consequences of every decision coming a billion miles away.. What I look for in a lover is very much not that, having someone who isn't as mature just brings a balance to my way overly reserved nature. That does not mean there's not mean their are not women my age who fit that bill, nor does that mean that younger women are somehow just better.. 

 

I'm very much a goofball, and it took a lot for me to even allow myself to be that.. It took being broken a billion times for me to understand that it's okay to fail, and I still fail at accepting failure. There was a time I took myself way to seriously, I had to be perfect always.. Maybe that's another reason, a younger women, theoretically less experienced, and therefor lower expectations to risk failing to live up to? 

 

Anyway, I just wanted to give my honest opinion, don't hate on me too hard XD.

 

 

[baddad]

There is another side no one brought up.

Some women like older guys. When those women are in their 20s, I am sure they get a lot of negativity from older women. When those older women were in their 20s, did they take into account the opinion of older women as they negotiated their relationships?

Men in their 20s rarely can get to a place where they have it all together. I am sure there is something reassuring for a woman in her 20s to date a guy and not have to stress so much about if their man is going to be able to get a good job or find a stable home, dating a man in his 40s you can pretty much tell if the guy is going to get it together or not.

Of course I am a man in my 40s who will never get it together. I pretty much am in a constant search for snacks and a nap to be honest.

So if a man consents to a younger woman, should he be labeled and shamed by people outside of his relationships who have never met him?

 

By the time a man is in his 40s, he is either married and not looking, a complete wreck(like me), or dateable and in high demand, by women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. Its a supply and demand issue.

It can be very exciting to be attractive to a 20 year old woman, especially if at 20 years old, that same man was not attractive to his peers.

[pawsies]

I don't feel anyone should feel bad or think it's "unfair" that somebody doesn't want to date you because of your age. To me, it's the same as saying you wouldn't want to date someone that isn't into some certain kink. If you're not one persons' cup of tea then you're just not their cup of tea ya know? I definitely don't think it's an issue for people to have preferences, and it shouldn't take anything away from you.

 

Not every person you see as a potential partner is going to see you as a potential partner and that's okay. I don't see why that's "unfair" at all to be completely honest. The only thing I think is unfair is judging someone for having a preference / saying a preference is "not right".

 

Just my two-bit.

[RavenclawPrincess]

I have to say, I also prefer older partners. It isn't about age, it's about maturity and experience. People's brains are still developing physically in their early 20's, and there's a lack of "knowing how to adult" in a lot of cases with the younger demographics in the community. In particular, I personally need someone that has their shit together at least as well as I do, and is solid on communication and active listening skills. That can be really hard to find in people under the age of 25, just to give a general observation that I've made. Anyone that can check off those really important qualities is someone that I can see as a potential partner, and there definitely are younger people that can suit those particular needs. Like I said, it isn't necessarily about age, it's about maturity and experience in adult relationships. I think some really good points were made about why some may prefer younger partners but keep in mind, there are exceptions to every "rule" and more often than not compatibility will outweigh the benchmark of being in a certain age range even if someone starts off thinking that they'd prefer to have a little in their 20's. Honestly I know plenty of older caregivers that are over the potential drama/attitude issues/lack of experience that can come with having a younger little at times. Don't lose hope, there's someone out there for you

[Nymph]

I used to date older men exclusively, as in, I would not even consider someone who was less than a decade gap. After getting more experience I realized age really is just a number and older doesn't mean more mature, experienced or wiser. Sometimes these men were more immature than me when I was being a middle!!

 

So for me, I just dismiss it as a sign they are too new to know age doesn't matter or that they can be a bit lazy... there is also a chance they are not really into the lifestyle and they got here trying to score a young thing. Either way, lifestyle or not it is hard to find a proper match and that is why we cherish it so much once we find it.

 

Is it wrong for them to like younger? nope. Is it wrong that you want to date your age group? nope. Was it wrong for me to like big age gaps? nope. To each their own, I will say though, that maybe it's time you become more flexible and give younger and older than your age group a chance. My Daddy (husband) and I missed each other for 3 years never seeing our profiles on the same dating sites because he was looking for younger and I for older, in the end we met in some random forum. He is a year younger than myself, I still find older men super sexy and I must admit I get a bit excited when I see a bit of grey showing on his hair now, but I love who he is and I am attracted to him regardless of his age.

 

I think most older girls have a big disadvantage searching on the lifestyle HOWEVER we have a huge advantage in the vanilla world, because compared to ladies our age we are sweet and kind and quirky usually, while so many others are bitter and jaded. It's really fun to introduce a guy to this world, perhaps you should give that a try.

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

Historically men go for younger women because appearance and youthful vitality is the most important thing to them. Ddlg or otherwise

[baby_k]

People are allowed to have preferences and likes.

 

It doesn't really consern me if some dude is not into me because I'm "too old". Also I'm not too fond of too much older men either as men tend to die sooner than women, they will have potence issues, our views on life may be too different and so on, so I do prefer men to be same age as me or bit younger Can now older men bitch about my likes? Sure, but none of that will change what I like, and my likes just make me incompatible partner for them. Maybe I will walk past a guy who otherwise would be rather perfect for me -but that is just my loss.

 

Of course we could talk why some men "need" to have someone lot younger and well, that mostly won't paint too pretty picture of them. But it is still up to them, and I would just find it good as it makes it lot easier to see that those people really are not my cup of tea because I may not really be into their thinking anyhow.

 

It's bit same as some men complain over how women choose their boyfriends, and how women don't see their value and so forward. Things are as they are, and complaining that others should somehow be different or act different in order for you to be happy... well..... that will be long wait. So, better just accept how things are and see the positive side of it.

[LilDemonBaby]

 

 

"It doesn't really consern me if some dude is not into me because I'm "too old". Also I'm not too fond of too much older men either as men tend to die sooner than women, they will have potence issues, our views on life may be too different and so on, so I do prefer men to be same age as me or bit younger Can now older men bitch about my likes? Sure, but none of that will change what I like, and my likes just make me incompatible partner for them. Maybe I will walk past a guy who otherwise would be rather perfect for me -but that is just my loss."

 

I feel the same way. I have a preference and im not ashamed of it. I prefer older people from 30s to 40 (though im willing to explore slightly younger) and I dont want anyone older then that. mostly because its just too old and I dont want to deal with the idea that theyll die too soon and arent as active. even my big butt needs activity! plus I feel like its more of a grandparent type relationship and thats not my thing. their views can also be a big part of it. Ive had older men pursue me and as much as i appreciate it, i just cant get into it. Though the experience has taught me what my limits are. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest ManInTheMoon]

I personally like older littles, 30's and up. That's not to say I'm not open to younger littles, but I'm 42 and I prefer someone closer to my age.