Regular dom help

[*.bumblebee.*]

umms so my dom doesnt like to be called daddy and i don't know what to do about it because i say it without thinking about it. he kinda seems uncomfortable with me calling him daddy or bubba. he isn't a daddy dom he is just a regular dom and i'm just wondering what i should call him when i'm small (also he doesn't enjoy taking care of small me)

[DaddysMonkey]

It sounds like you and this person aren’t compatible.

 

I would sit down and have a serious conversation about how you’re feeling.

 

Some avenues I would suggest are ; taking care of yourself in your little space if he’s unwilling to compromise his thoughts and feelings on the subject , discuss with your partner if either of you or both are willing to have you find a platonic (or not platonic whatever floats your boat) caregiver to fulfill your needs , or broach the subject one more time with open communication. If you feel you cannot live without those needs being met , and he has no interest .. you can’t force this lifestyle on him. It’s unfair to him and yourself to even try.

 

As for names , most doms don’t mind just “Sir”.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

Edited February 16, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[Vampiress]

Unfortunately your partner has expressed to you that with this particular need of yours, his needs don't match up. He has let you know that it is a thing that makes him uncomfortable, so you should not cross that boundary and make an effort to not push it on him. Perhaps you could just call him Sir because it is respectful and could still make you feel small by practicing manners of referring to him in a polite way. It sounds like you will have to explore your littlespace on your own if you wish to continue this relationship with him. Otherwise, you may have to figure out if this relationship is right for both of you. Either way, communicating with him is important and you should respect each other's boundaries.

[DaddysMonkey]

Unfortunately your partner has expressed to you that with this particular need of yours, his needs don't match up. He has let you know that it is a thing that makes him uncomfortable, so you should not cross that boundary and make an effort to not push it on him. Perhaps you could just call him Sir because it is respectful and could still make you feel small by practicing manners of referring to him in a polite way. It sounds like you will have to explore your littlespace on your own if you wish to continue this relationship with him. Otherwise, you may have to figure out if this relationship is right for both of you. Either way, communicating with him is important and you should respect each other's boundaries.

Took the words out of my mouth , I agree very much with Vampiress.

 

 

Some more names as well :

Mister.

Master.

Boss man.

Ect.

There are a lot of active threads with name suggestions.

Edited February 16, 2021 by DaddysMonkey

[The RealDaddyCat]

Sound like you are not compatible unfortunately. You will probably make better friends.

[Dogcat57]

Does he behave like a Daddy but just doesn't like the name? 

[Nymph]

I agree you might be incompatible, however what really stands out to me is that he doesn't sound like a Dom either, a "regular dom" tends to be as strict if not more than a stern caregiver, if he doesn't like something he will let you know and help you fix it... this guy sounds like he is expecting you to figure things out on your own.

 

Some guys like the idea of having the dom title but they are not into the lifestyle, it's more like a roleplay or a kink for them that never really spills out of the bedroom, and that is cool but you need to decide if that is what you would be happy with. I know I am not satisfied by that at all, it is the details that come up in the daily life that fulfill me.

[*.bumblebee.*]

Thank you for all of your answers. 

 

So if you guys are wondering if he is in the life style of bdsm and he is, but he prefers Master/slave relationships 

i am a servant sub but i am mostly a little sub. i haven't tried calling him sir i mostly call him Master but some times Daddy or bubba slips out. he does correct me though by saying "Not daddy, little one" or he wont answer he'll sit there looking at me patiently. i am a sub without training so he is very patient with me. he does act like a daddy dom when i'm small but not when i'm big. But When i'm small he's not really present i don't know how to word this. but he has told that he is really busy with work and university so little me kinda builds on more work on him. so what i kinda do is (i'm not sure if this is okay) i have a caregiver who takes care of small me. he just a friend but it kinda feels like something is missing. 

[The RealDaddyCat]

He doesn't quite sound like anything to do with the lifestyle. if he says not daddy little one it is all just words to him. Or he is doing like most and trying to fit you into his cookie cutter of what he needs not molding around you and your needs.

[*.bumblebee.*]

He doesn't quite sound like anything to do with the lifestyle. if he says not daddy little one it is all just words to him. Or he is doing like most and trying to fit you into his cookie cutter of what he needs not molding around you and your needs.

ok ill talk to him about, but respectfully i promise

[DerbyNerd]

He doesn't quite sound like anything to do with the lifestyle. if he says not daddy little one it is all just words to him. Or he is doing like most and trying to fit you into his cookie cutter of what he needs not molding around you and your needs.

I don't think that's very fair on him, it sounds like he has been reasonably clear that he is interested in a master/slave dynamic and not a DDLG dynamic which is completely fine and I assume OP had agreed to it but now her little is just slipping out occasionally (so no one is at fault here). I don't think accusing him of trying to make her fit his mold is right - and dom's don't have to mold to their subs every need! That would be totally unfair on them.

 

OP I think having a serious talk to him is the best idea. And if you're happy in the relationship except for missing the CG aspect he might be ok with you having a platonic (or sexual if he and you are open to it) CG outside of your dynamic so that part of you can be fulfilled. I know this may not be the ideal for you but it might be an option. But for now I would try as much as possible (littles slip up sometimes) to stick to his preferred honorifics. 

[Vampiress]

I agree with DerbyNerd. He's been clear he's not a Daddy, but it sounds like he probably IS into Master/slave dynamics. Even if he indulges your littlespace sometimes, it just sounds like being called Daddy is a boundary he doesn't want crossed. I don't even think it sounds like he's trying to mold you into what he wants. I think he's just being clear about what he's willing to do and what he's not willing to do, which is normal in any healthy relationship. Both Doms and subs are allowed to have boundaries.

 

If you have a platonic caregiver and he's okay with that, then that's probably the best you can hope for as a compromise. It means he's letting you explore your little side while not crossing his own boundaries to indulge your needs. If for some reason this arrangement just isn't enough for you, then you need to reconsider if this is the right relationship for you... but I am often in favor of trying to find a happy compromise and working things out if you really care about the person so my first inclination is to not encourage you to immediately end things and find someone else.