Is it hard to find a Daddy Dom?

[little1grl]

Someone I was with briefly told me its hard to find a real Daddy Dom. I've been on fetlife for a bit, put up ads saying I want a Daddy Dom, and I never get Daddy Doms. The best I got were ageplayers. I'm trying here and hope I will actually get Daddy Doms, but I'm nervous I'm going to end up getting ageplayers here too.

Is it really hard to find a Daddy Dom? And because the word is often used in many different ways, to define a Daddy Dom: Someone who wants to do it as a lifestyle, and isn't interested in age regression as a sexual thing. Someone who enjoys bringing out and interacting with someone when they are in little space. It shouldn't feel like a vanilla relationship with kink in the bedroom. It should feel like the whole relationship is different. They should enjoy it when their little is in little space and it shouldn't be a sexual thing for them.

Anyway, thoughts? Is it true, is it really hard to find someone like that?

[StrngButSweetDD]

I think it can definitely be hard to find a *good* Daddy Dom.  A lot of people just really don't understand it or know what that is and what it entails.

 

As a female (I assume) little you have two hurdles to get over in that search - you have to find a good man, which is every woman's challenge.  And of those good men, you have to find one who is a Daddy Dom, the way you need him to be a Daddy Dom.  So it's just a more limited pool to select from.

 

For me personally, this really is less of a kink, and more of a way of loving/lifestyle.  I just had a girlfriend who was an innocent Daddy's girl type, and I was older and more experienced than her, and it evolved naturally for us.  I had no idea that this whole ddlg world existed, and was so surprised to discover it!

 

I guess I'm only one data point, but I know I'm not the only DD that feels like this.

 

I'm not sure what age range you are searching for, but age is definitely a factor in what DDs seek and how well they understand it.  This isn't a knock on younger men, but it takes time and experience to understand the emotional aspects fully.  And too many young guys are thinking with the wrong head.  They read girl seeking Daddy and think it means Daddy issues and easy sex.

 

Dating is always filtering.  I wish there was a simple, easy, piece of advice I could give that would help you find Mr. Right.  But it's really just weeding through all the wrongs to find him. Pay close attention to how you word things, the type of pics you use, and tweak as needed.

 

Good luck!

[Pupperoo]

It's hard to find one that understands the impact they have on someone that enters a subspace (or littlespace if you will) and respect that. There are plenty of really bad men that come on these websites trying to get younger girls to submit and do anything they want sexually and don't give a toss about living up to their role as a caregiver outside of the sexual stuff. 

I think though as long as you apply mature thinking to the search and only really let down your walls once they've earned your trust, it's not necessarily that hard to find someone. Location is probably the most limiting factor on websites like these, since you can't easily meet up IRL and with the pandemic going on it just gets so much harder.

All in all, just keep looking, be patient and eventually you'll meet someone that checks your boxes and whose boxes you check in turn

[maddycakes]

I think a lot of the problem with searching for a very specific type of partner on a website like this (or FL) using personal ads is that the people trolling those ads are more likely to not be what you're looking for than someone you form a genuine friendship/connection with. In that respect, I think it is really hard to meet a good DD by simply putting up a personal ad and hoping the right guy answers it. By becoming more active in the community, talking to people on their posts, becoming friends with people, going to events if possible (I've seen a few zoom munches listed on here, but there are other online events you can attend as well, don't feel limited due to covid!), and making those connections more naturally, it is more likely that you will be able to find someone who you know meets all your criteria, instead of trying to interview potential partners one-by-one as they answer your ad. That is not to say that you can't or shouldn't put up a personal ad, just that if you use a personal ad in addition to community engagement your search will likely be faster and easier. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will be! 

[Daddybear623]

i was kind of wondering the same thing, i am trying to help a little find a daddy

[babygirl9991]

Yea I feel like it's really difficult. I met my first Daddy online and the whole relationship just naturally developed in this way. But now each time I am trying to find someone I am either getting some sexual offers or texts from dudes who totally don't respect my boundaries and expectations. The most annoying thing is when I mark that I don't want anyone older than 30 yo and I am still getting messages like "I am 47 iN cAsE YoU cHaNgE yOuR mInD". There are tons of old and just unappealing men who hit up on younger and attractive girls calling themselves "Daddy" because they feel like it gives them the right to do so. Really annoying and I just had to vent.

[Guest DaddySadist_39]

I think using the term "good Daddy Dom" in reference to someone that doesn't want a sexual relationship when their girl is little is a bit of an insult actually.

 

You can be a "good Daddy Dom" and still want a sexual little. Having sex included in your little state isn't necessarily a bad thing. Its just a different thing.

 

I think there's a larger issue where a lot of people on both sides don't see their opposite as good because they're not exactly what they want. So that makes them inherently "bad".

 

Instead of saying is it hard to find a "good Daddy Dom", maybe ask if its hard to find a Daddy Dom who wants a girl who's little isn't sexual.

 

*hops off soap box as this is a touchy subject for him*

[maddycakes]

I think using the term "good Daddy Dom" in reference to someone that doesn't want a sexual relationship when their girl is little is a bit of an insult actually.

 

You can be a "good Daddy Dom" and still want a sexual little. Having sex included in your little state isn't necessarily a bad thing. Its just a different thing.

 

I think there's a larger issue where a lot of people on both sides don't see their opposite as good because they're not exactly what they want. So that makes them inherently "bad".

 

Instead of saying is it hard to find a "good Daddy Dom", maybe ask if its hard to find a Daddy Dom who wants a girl who's little isn't sexual.

I totally agree with you! Thank you for adding this and pointing it out. 

[Little kaiya]

I think using the term "good Daddy Dom" in reference to someone that doesn't want a sexual relationship when their girl is little is a bit of an insult actually.

 

You can be a "good Daddy Dom" and still want a sexual little. Having sex included in your little state isn't necessarily a bad thing. Its just a different thing.

 

I think there's a larger issue where a lot of people on both sides don't see their opposite as good because they're not exactly what they want. So that makes them inherently "bad".

 

Instead of saying is it hard to find a "good Daddy Dom", maybe ask if its hard to find a Daddy Dom who wants a girl who's little isn't sexual.

 

*hops off soap box as this is a touchy subject for him*

I was actually going to touch on this very point but you did say in a very eloquent way. Personally I am sexual with my Daddy when little, not always but often enough, but it's because what we both want.

 

He is an incredible Daddy Dom and just because we're sexual doesn't in any way mean that He doesn't also wrap me up in cuddles, change me, feed me bottles, watch cartoons with me and just in general care for an nurture me.

 

I don't think it's that hard to find a Daddy Dom but I would say sometime people's expectations or fantasies may make it harder to find perfection if thats what their idea of good may be.

 

At the end of the day DDlg relationships are still relationships and no relationship will ever be perfect 100% of the time.

[little1grl]

Yea I feel like it's really difficult. I met my first Daddy online and the whole relationship just naturally developed in this way. But now each time I am trying to find someone I am either getting some sexual offers or texts from dudes who totally don't respect my boundaries and expectations. The most annoying thing is when I mark that I don't want anyone older than 30 yo and I am still getting messages like "I am 47 iN cAsE YoU cHaNgE yOuR mInD". There are tons of old and just unappealing men who hit up on younger and attractive girls calling themselves "Daddy" because they feel like it gives them the right to do so. Really annoying and I just had to vent.

 

Interesting. Those same men need to calm themselves down and start looking at those of us that are their age. It's like we don't exist to them. It's kind of horrible that there are men like this who ignore women that are their age, when there are so many women their age just dying to meet a good guy.

 

And ironically, some people (like me) look like they are in their twenties even though I'm in my thirties.

 

I think using the term "good Daddy Dom" in reference to someone that doesn't want a sexual relationship when their girl is little is a bit of an insult actually.

 

You can be a "good Daddy Dom" and still want a sexual little. Having sex included in your little state isn't necessarily a bad thing. Its just a different thing.

 

I think there's a larger issue where a lot of people on both sides don't see their opposite as good because they're not exactly what they want. So that makes them inherently "bad".

 

Instead of saying is it hard to find a "good Daddy Dom", maybe ask if its hard to find a Daddy Dom who wants a girl who's little isn't sexual.

 

*hops off soap box as this is a touchy subject for him*

 

You make it sound like some littles are looking for an asexual, no sex relationship. Which isn't true. I think, some littles just want a guy that cares more about the relationship than about sex. Even so, sexual stuff should still be in there! But when a guy starts leading with sexual stuff, that can  tell us that the opposite is true.

 

But I read some other comments down, and I guess you may actually mean, doing  sexual stuff while in little space. I always understood that to be ageplay, not a DDlg  relationship. Maybe if there is the caring and nurturing in there, and a little is in little space sometimes when is not sexy time, it's actually a combo of ageplay and a DDlg relationship for some people. But yeah, if the little stuff is only happening when sexy stuff is going on, and at no other time...and the relationship is vanilla in every other way outside the bedroom (and I don't see being only caring and nurturing as any different from being vanilla. Vanilla couples do this all the time).... then honestly I don't see that as DDlg. I don't think it was traditionally seen as DDlg either. It is very frustrating that there seems to be no distinction between the two with people these days, because it makes it harder for people who do not see little space as only a sexual thing to find people. Ageplayers have a word for themselves that they need to be using.

 

I'm not sure if that sort of thing happens a lot around here, but I was getting it a bit on fetlife.

Edited February 14, 2021 by little1grl

[Wikkd]

I actually met my Daddy on this site and now we live together. It is hard to find a "good Daddy" but I find the older ones have the experience I seeked. My Daddy is 18 years older than me. All I can tell you is talk to a few and see where it leads. I'm 36 and looked my whole life for the Dom for me and I found him, so I'm sure you can find him too.

[Mister J]

This is a great subject so I will offer me views and opinion if I may. As a DD I find it frustrating to be labeled good or bad. For me a DD is what’s inside me. It’s a part of my being and who I am. But, make no mistake I always rely on communication to learn what my little is looking for and how can we work together to achieve the goals we both have from the relationship. If she wants or enjoys age play then great I am all for that and if she does not then that’s fine also. I guess my point is experience plays a big part in what defines a DD. But again in this dynamic there is no good or bad but more what’s best for your situation.