A tiny rant.

[Dollie Darling]

I hope it's okay to do this here, but I wanted to do this somewhere where like minded people understand... 

 

 

 

Since joining the community, I'm now understanding people who are talking about it on other social media platforms better. (Before I just ignored something as I didn't fully understand it and it was therefore not my place).

 

 

But lately now, I'm beginning to see more and more misleading information about what the dynamic of all of this is by people who are passing themselves off as 'knowledgeable'. The worst of them being the kind to sell information to 'help' others, and sometimes I do actually think that is their goal.

 

 

However, they're only ever behaving and giving out information as if the Kinkster side is the only side to it, making a lot of new-comers or curious people assume that this is *completely* sexually based.

 

(I'm aware that some people's dynamics are, don't get me wrong)

 

But for the people who it isn't, that can be considered harmful, misleading information that can get their little or vulnerable side very hurt, very fast.

 

 

Even when my Sir(s) are rougher with me (hand around the throat, smacking my cheeks etc) I'm aware it's out of love and trust and respect, the same can be said about my collars and cuffs and them being my nurturer. 

 

 

 

There is so much emotion and trust that's given into the dynamic, no matter how it works and for how many people or how serious or casual... 

 

 

From both sides, it's far beyond a simple kink and the rapid misinform seems to be growing.

[Pupperoo]

I feel that if people are truly interested and truly identify or can see themselves being a part of DDLG (or any dynamic within of BDSM, realistically); they would do their due diligence and educate themselves on the intricacies of what it entails. The internet is a great place for information, as long as you verify the credibility of your source. Taking DominantDaddy1234's instagram posts at face value is probably not the best idea for someone interested in DDLG, and this could be applied to any sort of kink/fetish. While I do agree with you that it feels like most people "out there" see it as calling your significant others daddy or pet names, if people are genuinely curious about the dynamic or what it entails they'd educate themselves. This is the information era, and the cure to willful ignorance is a google search away.

I think it's dangerous to say that those that are truly part of the DDLG community would educate themselves properly. There is something primal about doing kinks, and if that's the aspect that brings you to the community to begin with it's very easy to get caught up in that (and rush it) and think that's all there is to it. But that doesn't mean those people aren't properly into it or part of the lifestyle. It just means they haven't experienced all there is to it yet. I can definitely see someone neglecting research because they 'know' what they want out of it. Let's also not forget that those that are willfully ignorant are just that, willfully ignorant. Saying the cure for that is a google search seems a bit contradictory, because they won't ever seek that out themselves.

 

 

 

 

I hope it's okay to do this here, but I wanted to do this somewhere where like minded people understand... 

 

 

 

Since joining the community, I'm now understanding people who are talking about it on other social media platforms better. (Before I just ignored something as I didn't fully understand it and it was therefore not my place).

 

 

But lately now, I'm beginning to see more and more misleading information about what the dynamic of all of this is by people who are passing themselves off as 'knowledgeable'. The worst of them being the kind to sell information to 'help' others, and sometimes I do actually think that is their goal.

 

 

However, they're only ever behaving and giving out information as if the Kinkster side is the only side to it, making a lot of new-comers or curious people assume that this is *completely* sexually based.

 

(I'm aware that some people's dynamics are, don't get me wrong)

 

But for the people who it isn't, that can be considered harmful, misleading information that can get their little or vulnerable side very hurt, very fast.

 

 

Even when my Sir(s) are rougher with me (hand around the throat, smacking my cheeks etc) I'm aware it's out of love and trust and respect, the same can be said about my collars and cuffs and them being my nurturer. 

 

 

 

There is so much emotion and trust that's given into the dynamic, no matter how it works and for how many people or how serious or casual... 

 

 

From both sides, it's far beyond a simple kink and the rapid misinform seems to be growing.

 

As far as the original post here goes, I agree with you. I am quite tired of seeing people saying this is a purely sexual thing and try to pass it off as being the only part of it. Yes, it is categorized as a kink, but for me personally I love all the aspects besides the sexual. Not that I don't like partaking in it, but the sexual side isn't something I am actively seeking within the dynamic. 

 

It's important to remember that not all BDSM is sexual, and that BDSM isn't the same to everyone. The words have definitions on paper, but they have emotional meanings to each individual, so people on here constantly making posts trying to tell others that their idea of the dynamic, BDSM, DDLG or ABDL is the only correct idea is dangerous and I see a lot of those posts. 

 

To sum up, I also feel there is a rapid misinform spreading in the kinkster community, and I feel like being a little or a daddy is more of a ''hip'' thing than anything to a lot of people. It's unfortunate, but it's also up to us that knows better (the irony based on what I wrote above, yes) to inform those that think this dynamic is black and white that they are looking at an incredible world through a keyhole.

Edited February 11, 2021 by Pupperoo

[Vampiress]

There's all kinds of reasons. Even with every day stuff people can be too trusting of what they read on the internet, naive, too lazy to fact check, or often times what they read goes along with whatever narrative they have in their head so if they like what they see then that's enough for them and they'll believe it. There is definitely a lot of willful ignorance out there, too. I think a great example of bad information and people willing to believe it is the youtuber begforjay. He does not properly represent the BDSM or DD/lg community and is a known abuser, yet so many still follow him and listen to everything he says, and there's no way that there aren't followers of his who haven't heard about the abuse he's done. Also, for influencers kink is a very easy thing to make content on because for some people it can seem so trendy and there's nothing to regulate them putting bad information out there. There isn't much we can do either except try to help others understand better when they're willing to listen, but there isn't much more we can do beyond that because if someone is determined to not care or bother enough to learn properly then no amount of trying to educate them is going to help them unless they're receptive.

[StrngButSweetDD]

DDlg is so many different things to different people.  I always try to lean towards an open-minded and inclusive outlook on how others approach it.  I don't myself do *all* of the things that a lot of dedicated CGs and littles think are necessary.  Rules, pacis, etc.  But I know I'm a Daddy, and my littles are littles, and we find what makes us feel special together.

 

Also, it runs from completely non-sexual to intensely sexual for different people.  So there will be different opinions on how sexual is just right.

 

Like you though, I'm suspicious when it's portrayed as ONLY a sexual kink.  That makes me think that either they don't truly understand it, or they aren't open/experienced/perceptive enough to figure out the emotional component.

 

And of course on social media... it's social media, everyone is a beautiful rich expert there haha

[Guest Unicorn_Flower]

The internet is amazing. It gives someone access to a wealth of knowledge, communities of like minded people, and opportunities to explore things that may not be possible offline. However it is also the the most dangerous invention the human being has ever made. The rapid spread of misinformation online is, and will continue to be a growing problem. My guess would be that now and in the future, more people will be introduced to BDSM and DDLG through mainstream social medias (as opposed to other forms such as books, word of mouth, finding like minded people in person or through research). This is an inevitable situation and will of course bring both those who have done their due diligence and those who have not. It will also bring those who see DDLG as nothing more than another sexual play, and those who see it as more.

 

All we can do as a community is spread awareness of safe practises when looking for potentional caregivers and littles. As well as safe practise for being in a relationship. Every dynamic and relationship will be different but the safe practises remain largely the same. There are loads of threads here that talk about how to be safe.

 

If anyone new to this community is reading this thread and worried, I would recommend exercising patience when talking to prospective future relationships. Don't be afraid to ask questions. If they make you feel uncomfortable, politely remove yourself from the situation. Trust your limits and yourself, and don't compromise on them. Remember, finding the perfect daddy or little takes time, but waiting for the person that completes you will satisfy you far more than the wrong person.

 

I hope this helps a bit.

 

Much love and stay safe xoxo

Edited February 12, 2021 by Unicorn_Flower

[BeBeGirl]

 

I hope it's okay to do this here, but I wanted to do this somewhere where like minded people understand...

 

 

 

Since joining the community, I'm now understanding people who are talking about it on other social media platforms better. (Before I just ignored something as I didn't fully understand it and it was therefore not my place).

 

 

But lately now, I'm beginning to see more and more misleading information about what the dynamic of all of this is by people who are passing themselves off as 'knowledgeable'. The worst of them being the kind to sell information to 'help' others, and sometimes I do actually think that is their goal.

 

 

However, they're only ever behaving and giving out information as if the Kinkster side is the only side to it, making a lot of new-comers or curious people assume that this is *completely* sexually based.

 

(I'm aware that some people's dynamics are, don't get me wrong)

 

But for the people who it isn't, that can be considered harmful, misleading information that can get their little or vulnerable side very hurt, very fast.

 

 

Even when my Sir(s) are rougher with me (hand around the throat, smacking my cheeks etc) I'm aware it's out of love and trust and respect, the same can be said about my collars and cuffs and them being my nurturer.

 

 

 

There is so much emotion and trust that's given into the dynamic, no matter how it works and for how many people or how serious or casual...

 

 

From both sides, it's far beyond a simple kink and the rapid misinform seems to be growing.

[Dollie Darling]

The internet is amazing. It gives someone access to a wealth of knowledge, communities of like minded people, and opportunities to explore things that may not be possible offline. However it is also the the most dangerous invention the human being has ever made. The rapid spread of misinformation online is, and will continue to be a growing problem. My guess would be that now and in the future, more people will be introduced to BDSM and DDLG through mainstream social medias (as opposed to other forms such as books, word of mouth, finding like minded people in person or through research). This is an inevitable situation and will of course bring both those who have done their due diligence and those who have not. It will also bring those who see DDLG as nothing more than another sexual play, and those who see it as more.

 

All we can do as a community is spread awareness of safe practises when looking for potentional caregivers and littles. As well as safe practise for being in a relationship. Every dynamic and relationship will be different but the safe practises remain largely the same. There are loads of threads here that talk about how to be safe.

 

If anyone new to this community is reading this thread and worried, I would recommend exercising patience when talking to prospective future relationships. Don't be afraid to ask questions. If they make you feel uncomfortable, politely remove yourself from the situation. Trust your limits and yourself, and don't compromise on them. Remember, finding the perfect daddy or little takes time, but waiting for the person that completes you will satisfy you far more than the wrong person.

 

I hope this helps a bit.

 

Much love and stay safe xoxo

Yes, this site is one of the things I'm glad exist. There are so many safety threads as well as people on here who know the difference, or how to help new-comers learn the difference of what harmful/not harmful is.

 

 

 

I'm seeing more and more (rapid increasing, especially places like twitters) Of p**dos who are claiming to be "daddies" just to get the attention of littles who unfortunately don't know any better and it's beyond gross and a little sad. Thankfully when I find littles who need that kind of guidance, I've been liking them to this site and a lot of the helpful forms that might help them understand things before proceeding with someone who may not have their best interests at heart.

[Dollie Darling]

DDlg is so many different things to different people.  I always try to lean towards an open-minded and inclusive outlook on how others approach it.  I don't myself do *all* of the things that a lot of dedicated CGs and littles think are necessary.  Rules, pacis, etc.  But I know I'm a Daddy, and my littles are littles, and we find what makes us feel special together.

 

Also, it runs from completely non-sexual to intensely sexual for different people.  So there will be different opinions on how sexual is just right.

 

Like you though, I'm suspicious when it's portrayed as ONLY a sexual kink.  That makes me think that either they don't truly understand it, or they aren't open/experienced/perceptive enough to figure out the emotional component.

 

And of course on social media... it's social media, everyone is a beautiful rich expert there haha

It always just worries me a little when it's all sexual, because I've caught a lot of people pretending to be Daddies and more recently even Mommies and using the 'kink' half of it to groom others who don't know what the dynamic really is; Each dynamic is different, yes; but that doesn't stop safety and trust from being the core aspects t it.

 

 

It just makes me sad to look out there and see the insane number of those who are listening to this 'wealth of information' that may very well lead to them being traumatized in the end.

 

Thankfully there are actual safe places to look for Littles/CG and learn, like this community. 

[Dollie Darling]

There's all kinds of reasons. Even with every day stuff people can be too trusting of what they read on the internet, naive, too lazy to fact check, or often times what they read goes along with whatever narrative they have in their head so if they like what they see then that's enough for them and they'll believe it. There is definitely a lot of willful ignorance out there, too. I think a great example of bad information and people willing to believe it is the youtuber begforjay. He does not properly represent the BDSM or DD/lg community and is a known abuser, yet so many still follow him and listen to everything he says, and there's no way that there aren't followers of his who haven't heard about the abuse he's done. Also, for influencers kink is a very easy thing to make content on because for some people it can seem so trendy and there's nothing to regulate them putting bad information out there. There isn't much we can do either except try to help others understand better when they're willing to listen, but there isn't much more we can do beyond that because if someone is determined to not care or bother enough to learn properly then no amount of trying to educate them is going to help them unless they're receptive.

Yes, this is all perfect examples of the exact things I mean.

 

 

But I'm aware there's little we can do but help guide and listen and let those understand when they might be into a situation that can get them hurt.

 

 

I guess it will just always sadden me, even if people using this kind of thing (or any kind of thing meant to bring comfort) isn't new in the slightest.