Self worth

[MissPattch]

I don't often have to deal with these kind of feelings, but i'm curious if any body else sometimes gets feelings of inadequacy as a person and about yourself and who you are and what you you do with your lives? How do you get yourself back on track and out of the rut of destructive thoughts? 

[Kittykat83]

I know it doesn't deal with it but.... distraction, distraction, distraction!!

[LittleTeacup]

*raises hand* I do! I work very hard but often think I'm not doing enough. Especially because I'm not on the path society says I should be on, with a decently-paying stable job, significant other, and living independently. I have none of those by the way.

 

For me, usually I bounce back to normal after I sleep. But I also have to tell myself that it's ok to not be where society wants me because society doesn't know me. Also I've been told that my expectations are what's called "gifted child syndrome" where someone who was considered gifted as a child finds themselves not as ahead and prepared for adult life as they expected because high level academic skills aren't so applicable outside of school. But the gifted child thinks they should be just as high achieving everywhere in their life. I was told by teachers and other leaders that of course I would go places in life and be "successful" simply because of my grades and the college I went to, and it's hard to realize I've failed their expectations and still live with my parents at age 30.

 

I also have to remind myself that I had a job and was laid off through no fault of my own when coronavirus hit. I had plans. Perhaps things would be different if I could've continued working at the place longer and gotten more than a few months' experience. In addition, there are fewer jobs available now in my field and the competition is stiffer with many others out of work.

 

When I'm really upset I vent to some of my friends who tell me it's all ok and I'm smart and I do have talents and they help me feel a bit better. If nothing else then because they care. I also follow several accounts on instagram that post daily affirmations or mental health tips like the importance of setting boundaries. So I'm exposed to positive words every day and they seep into my brain.

[baby_k]

I let myself feel those things and really dwell in them for while and really feed the selfpity I'm having to make it even worse. After while I get tired of if and decide to start solving it, and start looking for solutions and how I can change the situation and be happier.

 

For me those moments come and go, they feel nasty but also after them I always feel more determined, more driven and that I have a goal. So, those moments help me to achieve more, and I'm grateful to have them as they tell me what I'm afraid and what I don't want -> I can address the issues and change the course of my life.

[Vampiress]

I have self worth issues ALL the time... and distraction is the best way I deal with it at the moment, as it's very hard for me to get past those thoughts or change the mindset. I don't necessarily think distraction is always the best way to handle it, but it definitely has its place and can be useful. Much better than just dwelling and falling farther down the rabbit hole of negativity. However, at some point it has to be dealt with when you're ready and willing to do so.

[Little kaiya]

I think most people have these types of feelings at one time or another. I won't lie, even with the volunteer work that I do I sometimes feel like I should be doing more. Luckily, I have a good therapist who has helped me understand just how destructive the word "should" can become.

 

When I start to feel like I should be doing more, making more, etc., I talk to my Wife and Daddy. They help me walk through my thoughts to see if they are logical and even when they're logical whether they are useful in feeling how I want to feel. It may not work for everyone but that intimate, steadfast and unquestioning love abundance support helps me reframe my thinking.

[ChocoPudding]

whenever i have bad thoughts about myself, i try to look at my "little self" from "big me's point of view". then i just comfort myself with positive reassuring words!

 

(but realistically, there are days when i just let myself feel bad and cry. then i comfort myself)