How Long Have You Felt a Connection to DD/LG?

[Drifter]

Really, this applies not only to DD/LG, but also AB/DL and other related interests.  I'm curious how long people have felt that draw, even before they had a name for it.

 

Personally, some of my very earliest memories from childhood actually involve being drawn to AR related cartoons, and it growing over time to include the AB/DL/DD and even furry aspects.  Once I started getting online, I was able to start identifying things and the interests grew, but they all had their roots in the past.  I've always found it somewhat odd that I can say I related to it from such an early age, but I doubt I'm the only one.  I think most people likely develop these feelings around puberty, but that's obviously not a rule.

 

What about you?

[Puppy]

I've always loved doing child like things, as a child and even past puberty. I remember being 14 and still playing with dolls. I had an imaginary friend up to 16. Even at 16 I was still having urges to play with dolls and color and such and felt so embarrassed.

 

DDlg wasn't the only lifestyle I've grown up feeling attached to. As early as I can remember I remember being drawn to pretending and taking on the role as an animal. As a child I loved to play with my friends like we were wolves or exotic big cats. Now I'm heavily (24/7 lifestyle) into petplay as a cat, and it's so natural.

 

I think any D/s lifestyle is something people are born into. I don't think you can be trained to adapt to a lifestyle. I think it's an instinct some of us are born with and exhibit throughout growing up until we figure out which lifestyle we belong in.

[Guest Mr TwitchPool]

I have always been caring and nurturing, I guess when I had explored various BDSM outlets This fitted best with me.  Emotionally and physically.  You can enjoy so much but watching a little light up with joy just makes my heart smile.  BDSM 12 years, DDLG 1 year

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

I have always wanted (or rather needed) a strong, dominant man who wants to take care of me and love me like crazy. Took me a long time to really properly accept it and want to actively pursue it. Thought I was merely daydreaming. Only put a name to it several months ago when I joined Fetlife.

[lilvioletcub]

When I was little I always loved the bad guy type becuse I thought with enough love I could be the one to change him, I'm also a worry wort and saftey nut so those things kinda made my mommy side with out me even knowing what BDSM was. I always needed guidance and felt better with a schdual and rules so being a submissive is natural to me

[The Perennial Princess]

When I was around 12, I read the novel Lolita. It changed me in innumerable ways and awoke in me an awareness of myself, writing, and my desires. I quietly decided that when I was older, I wanted my partner to be older than me. I wanted him to be as intelligent as myself if not more so, protective, fatherly, kind, and someone who I could rely on in all ways. He would be everything to me and I would do whatever I could to please and make him happy. Of course, I had no idea what I wanted was a papa bear. I connected the patriarchal aspect with an older man. This was easy to do since I was young and disgusted by the immaturity of all youths my age. 

 

As I aged, I didn't change. I waited for the right partner and when I was 18, I met a man who was eight years older than I. (He wasn't the right partner, so I was premature.) I was ignorant because being older fails to make someone wise or a born nurturer. Age doesn't make one a papa bear. Even still, I secretly tried to embrace my little side and incorporate it into our relationship. He rejected it. This hurt me deeply and I was confused. Here was my older man and yet he was rejecting that I was trying to be an obediant, sweet and dependent, little girl.  Hurt turned into resentment, boredom, and dissatisfaction. When we went our separate ways, I found myself thinking back to posts on tumblr that spoke of a DDLG relationship.

 

Before that, I had never heard of such a thing. A natural lover of the taboo, I was unabashedly interested. As I did research for several months, I realized that what I actually was, was a little, and that what I technically desired, was a daddy dom. It made perfect sense. My soft, girlish voice when shy, the way I always spilled some of my water on me when taking a sip from a cup, the way I desired to be nurtured, instructed, and obediant, the fact that I was still coloring, playing dress up games, and felt relief when I was exposed to delicate things from childhood. It all clicked for me, so, I ran over to fetlife and posted a very long, winding ad.

 

The responses poured in daily but even then I knew that none of these men were actually "daddies." At least not what I envisioned in my "daddy." These men were after instant gratification, were uncultured, crass, unintelligent, or to be blunt, unattractive. Soon after the creation of my fetlife, I ignored the account and just wandered in purgatory, unsure of how I was supposed to just stumble upon the right "daddy dom" in person. 

 

Around this time, I met a man named Aaron. He was only 4 years older than me. He was smart, but more than smart, he was wise, he was understanding, he was kind and sweet, unbearably handsome, and there was something about his personality that made me feel safe. He showed me his weakness and innocence and I felt I was able to lend the same favor. We began dating, and I found myself not caring whether or not he was a "daddy dom" or not. He was him, that would be enough. All my walls fell and we fit perfectly together.

 

As time went on, I found myself knowing I could trust him more than I had trusted anyone in my life. More than my parents. He was the first person who knew me truly and made me who I was. He saved me from myself and from my life. He also appeared to be a natural papa bear without knowing it. He would spoil me, quell my fears, he would tie my shoes, he was always teaching me new things, so romantic and loyal, he was giving me a new life, and he was so patient and doting in terms of love and attention.

 

So, I tested the waters. In the beginning DDLG was sexual between us and just remarks thrown here and there. Ultimately, that wasn't what I wanted, but, it was a start. It progressed very slowly (mostly due to my shyness) and finally culminated in my showing Aaron things online and dropping more and more hints. Everytime he responded positively, I was emboldened until finally, he began to dub himself first papa bear, and then papa. From then on, we've continued to grow and realize that being a papa and being a baby is just who we are. It's never felt so natural and our relationship has never been stronger and more loving. It's heading towards 2 and 1/2 years now and I am excited for us to be married (adopting me, as papa calls it) and for us to have our own children. We knew from the start that neither of us was going anywhere.

 

A man proclaiming that he is a daddy dom doesn't make him one. Age doesn't either. I think a true daddy dom has it inherently built in their personality, and regardless of whether they are vanilla or a kinkster, it will surface eventually. But it's also important to know, that you can't just be a daddy dom and a little. You have to be best friends, soul mates, life partners as well.  I am truly a baby now because I found my papa. He enables me to be who I am and I enable him to be who he truly is. He always tells me he would be sad if I wasn't a baby anymore and if he wasn't a papa and I know it. He's just so good at it with both the little and big things.

 

Although he doesn't have an account on here (we are both loners by nature and like it that way) I am ALWAYS sharing everything I post on here with him. He's actually very involved and often times gives me advice and ideas.  

[Josei]

It was probably when I was an early teen, I can't really place it. I read...alot, and I came across a Fanfiction that was based on a DDLG relationship. To be frank, I loved it. I loved how caring and considerate the "daddy" was. I loved how cuddling was something that was accepted and encouraged and not considered "unneeded".

 

I had to grow up really fast because my mom died at an early age and my dad, as much as he loved me, wasn't around much. So I had to learn to suck it up and just....deal. So having a relationship where I count on someone to take away the stress, make the heavier decisions, take care of me and love me is great! Finding DDLG was an answer actually.

 

Knowing that all I have to do is the THE best little girl that I could be and love daddy with all my might it was nothing in comparison to what I was getting...but hey I loved it!

 

So, after reading something that interested me I did what I always did. I read, and researched...allot. I found out about DDLG as years went on. I think I was 17/18 when I decided I WANT to be a little girl with all the perks it has to offer because I really couldn't deal with a average (vanilla) relationship. Guys my age weren't what I wanted...at all. It was too much games.

 

"You can't message right back he'll think you're needy!" ( I am needy :/ )

 

"If you message to much he'll think you're clingy!" (I like to cling....and snuggle actually. :/)

 

"You don't have to look to him for everything" (I like having someone to help and guide me.)

 

And. So. On.

 

So I just...stopped what little dating I did, to avoid all the "rules".

 

 

However, I am only 19 so if it happens now GREAT. If it dosen't, well I have 2 more years until I graduate with my Bachelor's...then I can focus just a TAD bit more then....after all I do need my Master's.

[daddyslittlefrenchprincess]

I've always been a little "immature" I guess. At least that's what I thought it was. And I thought I was "too clingy, too needy too everything". I was ashamed of myself for a very long time because I didn't have a name for it and I didn't know there were others like me. I've always been attracted to very big men who want to be more in charge. I am very indecisive and prefer someone to help me with decisions, depending. I get into phases where I just don't know how to articulate my emotions, etc and just need someone to cuddle me and tell me it's ok. My daddy and I are very new to this as I just discovered what I am and what ddlg is a few months ago. It's rough but I'm hoping daddy will figure things out as he isn't a big nurturer naturally. He's trying. I'm 43 years old and I can't deny myself anymore

[Tay212]

I've always been a little, just didn't know it.  I first read about the lifestyle about a year and a half ago and have been learning as much as I can on my own since then. 

[Guest LexiGremlin]

I knew I was a Mistress since I was 15, began living the BDSM Lifestyle as a 24/7 Mistress [i was a Mistress in all aspects of relationship, not just bedroom] from 18-23.

 

I always had a Little-side that I thought was just my personality for as long as I could remember. Realized what it was a year ago and just began exploring it openly.

[freckledfawn]

For some reason I can't remember exactly when I realized what I was, specifically that I was looking for a DD/lg type relationship, but I remember how my mindset and desires progressed into what it is now. I remember the first inklings of being this way when I was twelve; every book I read that featured a relationship with subtle Dominant/submissive subtext really got under my skin in a good way, even though I was too young to understand what or why. I was never interested in the boys my age, ever, which confused my friends and family (and I'm pretty sure my mom is convinced I'm a lesbian, although she's only half right). It never bothered me, but I was and have always been lonely because of the gap I always felt was between me and the people my age.
 
I realized as I got older that it was D/s that really appealed to me. I hadn't understood before then what was missing. I've never tested this theory, but I don't think I could manage a relationship where my partner didn't need the things that I did. For me, this isn't really just a hobby, it's a part of me, a very specific need that has to be filled. I've always been clingy and unerringly loyal when it comes to those I care about, so it makes sense that it carries over to my love life. I couldn't handle living without a Daddy-type partner. I crave that dependability. I'm sure having high anxiety and chronic depression has something to do with the need for a protective caregiver who makes decisions for me. There's something to be said for giving up responsibility when you're a ball of nerves. In my opinion, DD/lg, or at the very least BDSM, is an unorthodox therapy.
 
My preferences kind of straddle the line between "middle" and "little". I ran across the nymphet side of the scene first, and I still feel drawn to it. However, I found DD/lg about two years ago and I definitely share certain characteristics with it, too. I never feel strictly like a child, necessarily, but I do tend to feel more emotional, more submissive, and more dependent when I'm in little/sub-space. I enjoy stereotypical little activities, like coloring, watching animated films, etc., but I feel more childish than child-like, if that makes sense. But the more nymphet side of me likes the idea of making older guys squirm in their seats when they see me wearing my old private school uniform (NOT that I actually think that happens, I'm just a daydreamer). As is probably evident, I'm unreasonably enthusiastic about anything taboo.
 
I used to be slightly concerned that my interests in a caring, protective, kindhearted older man might be thanks to my distant and not altogether affectionate father. Perhaps wanting a father figure to replace him is related in some fashion, but I don't harbor any ill will towards him and I certainly don't shed tears over that situation so I've decided it doesn't matter either way. I keep those two halves of my life unquestionably and resolutely separate.

 

When I was around 12, I read the novel Lolita. It changed me in innumerable ways and awoke in me an awareness of myself, writing, and my desires. I quietly decided that when I was older, I wanted my partner to be older than me. I wanted him to be as intelligent as myself if not more so, protective, fatherly, kind, and someone who I could rely on in all ways. He would be everything to me and I would do whatever I could to please and make him happy. Of course, I had no idea what I wanted was a papa bear. I connected the patriarchal aspect with an older man. This was easy to do since I was young and disgusted by the immaturity of all youths my age. 

 

It's crazy how often Lolita seems to awaken that side of people. I can't credit the book with my own "awakening", but it sure is a wonderful piece of fiction. I wish there was a bigger pool of great literature for D/s or DD/lg (that wasn't just PWP). Ugh, what I'd give for a book about a healthy, cute relationship between DD/lg! Maybe I just don't know where to look.

 

Before that, I had never heard of such a thing. A natural lover of the taboo, I was unabashedly interested. As I did research for several months, I realized that what I actually was, was a little, and that what I technically desired, was a daddy dom. It made perfect sense.

 

It seriously answered so many questions for me when I realized what I was. It was like something just clicked into place, and everything made sense suddenly. And the taboo comment - you and me both, ugh.

It's really cool to read everyone else's stories and see how other people got to where they are now.   <3