Slightly confused... completely new ;-;

[Nina_doll]

Hello everyone!

I realised recently (yesterday night, to be more exact) that I might be... a little. I think I have known that for so long already but I just didn’t want to accept it because... the thing is that I don’t really regress to any particular age or feel like a lot of people say they do when they’re on their headspace. And I’m not sure then if it’s exactly this what I am but then, reading more into it, just makes me think that I am definitely one. Sorry if I’m not making any sense!

I’m kinda scared of admitting it out loud (even if it’s writing it on a safe space like this forum -which I’m /really/ glad I found, btw-) because I feel like if I let it “get real” (affect it IRL I guess) I will be judged. I also kind of feel like I won’t find anyone as a partner that will understand me, and that this side of me will never be fully fulfilled and will always kind of feel like there’s something missing... I worry I might be too needy or clingy and that my needs will be seen as too much to deal with. 

 

I don’t know, I’m really confused and still coming into terms with all this. I don’t really know what to do now that I kind of realised it and I really, really don’t know what kind of steps I should be taking next. 

 

I guess I’m just kind of scared and feel really lonely and incomplete. I would like to meet some people like me or to make at least some friends that understand how I feel... but again, I’m really scared of putting myself out there. 

 

But anyway, thank you for reading and sorry for the long post! If you have any advice please feel free to let me know, I will more than gladly read it. I hope you’re all having a good day. 

[PapaGrayWolf]

Allow yourself to do whatever feels good on any and all levels. That's not always so easy to do.

 

I've sent a friend request and will be glad to discuss it with you at length.

[SailorMoon24]

I relate to this so much! I just joined yesterday because I thought I am possibly a little as well. I don’t feel like I go into a little space either but I don’t know if that’s because I haven’t been in a situation where I would be comfortable doing it or what. I have childish tendencies but it isn’t separate from me on a daily basis. The things I’ve learned since joining have really helped me. No one fits into a box. The terms used here help but it’s okay if you don’t fit one perfectly. You are who you are. I’m trying to figure exactly what I want and specifically which parts of things here are things I would interested in. I figure that’s a good place to start and may help you too!

[Nina_doll]

I relate to this so much! I just joined yesterday because I thought I am possibly a little as well. I don’t feel like I go into a little space either but I don’t know if that’s because I haven’t been in a situation where I would be comfortable doing it or what. I have childish tendencies but it isn’t separate from me on a daily basis. The things I’ve learned since joining have really helped me. No one fits into a box. The terms used here help but it’s okay if you don’t fit one perfectly. You are who you are. I’m trying to figure exactly what I want and specifically which parts of things here are things I would interested in. I figure that’s a good place to start and may help you too!

I actually joined because I saw your post and understood so much the way you felt jshsjd so yeah thank you for giving me the courage and explaining a bit more about what you've found out since then, I really appreciate it ;; I will definitely take that into account, and hopefully figure it out somehow! I've been reading the posts here since I discovered this place and it's helping so much to understand some of those aspects I wasn't truly sure about.

 

I wish you the best :3 

[Nina_doll]

Allow yourself to do whatever feels good on any and all levels. That's not always so easy to do.

 

I've sent a friend request and will be glad to discuss it with you at length.

Thank you so much for the advise! I would gladly discuss this as well if you don't mind, I accepted your friend request. 

[RavenclawPrincess]

Sailor already covered the introductory things that I would respond to a post like this. I just wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU for finding the courage to explore the lifestyle and get to know yourself better! That's a big first step that a lot of people find them selves unable to take.

[Nina_doll]

Sailor already covered the introductory things that I would respond to a post like this. I just wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU for finding the courage to explore the lifestyle and get to know yourself better! That's a big first step that a lot of people find them selves unable to take.

I read what you said there and helped me a lot, thank you so much for the encouragement really ;;  Hopefully I will get to understand myself a little bit better as well, and this forum is a really nice place to start from what I've seen.

[Nina_doll]

Sailor already covered the introductory things that I would respond to a post like this. I just wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU for finding the courage to explore the lifestyle and get to know yourself better! That's a big first step that a lot of people find them selves unable to take.

By the way, would you mind if I talked to you a little bit privately about this and some other doubts i have? 

[RavenclawPrincess]

That's totally fine! I don't mind helping you out

[DiamondEyes]

I realized I am a little about a month ago when my Daddy broke up with me for being too independent, at the time he was not Daddy he was my boyfriend... For the 10 days we were apart I went completely crazy & then by the end of it I realized that he had broken me. He had told me he wanted to own me before & I refused outright, but once I discovered I was mind-broken I completely submitted to his ownership (I am also the pet) & he took me back. Since then I've felt like this whole thing has been completely natural feeling... As if I secretly wanted this my entire life (35 years) & didn't know it. I guess what I'm saying is, analyze the impulses but don't try to stop them... Just let your little-ness rise to the surface & as you learn more about what being little means to you I think you'll feel comfortable with yourself even if you don't have a Daddy to teach you. I do hope that you find the perfect Daddy soon though!!!

 

As another new little free to DM me any specific questions!

Edited December 13, 2020 by DiamondEyes

[VentralStriatum]

the thing is that I don’t really regress to any particular age or feel like a lot of people say they do when they’re on their headspace.

 

Something to always keep in mind with these topics is that both the experience and the words we attach to it is a little different for everyone. It's a fairly common trait for adults to have childlike moments where they enjoy the wholesome and innocent activities typically associated with younger people. Which form this takes is different for everyone. For many people it's just a small part of who they are, not enough to warrant a lifestyle or a name. Some people regress to a highly specific age, some to a broader age category, some don't regress at all. Some genuinely switch in and out of being a little, others just enjoy being cute/adorable/clingy all the time.

 

While I do think reading up on this is a great way to find whether this world matches you on some level, no pre-written text could ever completely accurately describe you personally. You're a unique person with your own desires, wishes, experiences and needs. If what you care about is finding a partner that suits you, then what's important is understanding what you require most, and looking for someone that just seems to fulfil your dreams effortlessly. As daunting as that may seem now, you'll probably find that your ideal partner is just as excited about you - because if they're ideal for you, you're usually also ideal for them.

 

I feel like if I let it “get real” (affect it IRL I guess) I will be judged

 

As with everything else, it's how you present it. The mistake most people make when they talk about these topics is that they communicate the contrast, the biggest fantasies, rather than the similarities with most people. Most people won't know how to relate to a desire to have a separate room full of stuffed animals to have daily tea parties with, but almost everyone relates to a desire to be more childlike every now and then. Innocent/wholesome fun, having a special attachment to stuffies from when we were young, dating a supportive partner who genuinely cares for you, desiring a lot of intimacy and quality time, they're all common and no one will judge you weirdly for them.

 

At the same time, understand and accept that however much the average person needs of all these things, you might need them a little more. It wasn't a choice you made at some point where you decided to need these things, it just so happens to fit your natural tendencies. The good news is that this applies both ways, so keep this in mind: Everyone is equally needy - we just need different things. Whatever it is that you need, there is someone out there who loves to provide it. Whatever traits you have to offer, there is someone out there who appreciates those specifically. As daunting as it seems when you enter this world, as the list of requirements seems to become ever more specific, consider you'll just be better than most at filtering out people who aren't exactly your match, causing the right person to feel even more right, making the relationship even more special.

 

really don’t know what kind of steps I should be taking next.

 

I think these days, your 20's are the time to truly explore who you are. As you move out and start being more independent from your parents, you have the freedom to figure out all these elements that life has to offer, along with which suit you best. Reflect on how you feel, what kind of life you dream of, what makes you happy, what you need to feel safe and comfortable. Continue to form connections with people you like, learn more about what's out there and learn more about what excites you in the process.

 

I love that everyone always carries a different story with them, a unique set of experiences and desires, yet another person to admire and learn from. Viewing the experience from their eyes gave me so much happiness, so much to imagine, and so much more to understand. This approach works best for me, though I can easily imagine different people preferring something different.

 

Regardless, welcome to this interesting new part of your life. In all likelihood, the end result will be a happier life in which you'll be able to feel complete, together with someone who loves you for all the little things that make you, you. Maybe not every single second of the learning process is fun, but it'll be more than worth it in the end. Have fun!

Edited December 13, 2020 by VentralStriatum

[Nina_doll]

I realized I am a little about a month ago when my Daddy broke up with me for being too independent, at the time he was not Daddy he was my boyfriend... For the 10 days we were apart I went completely crazy & then by the end of it I realized that he had broken me. He had told me he wanted to own me before & I refused outright, but once I discovered I was mind-broken I completely submitted to his ownership (I am also the pet) & he took me back. Since then I've felt like this whole thing has been completely natural feeling... As if I secretly wanted this my entire life (35 years) & didn't know it. I guess what I'm saying is, analyze the impulses but don't try to stop them... Just let your little-ness rise to the surface & as you learn more about what being little means to you I think you'll feel comfortable with yourself even if you don't have a Daddy to teach you. I do hope that you find the perfect Daddy soon though!!!

 

As another new little free to DM me any specific questions!

Thank you so much for your response ;-; If I'm completely honest I am still kind of scared of totally accepting it and just let go a little bit, I would say. But seeing what you've been through kind of makes me think that is definitely worth a try (I'm happy to hear you realised it finally and are now happy with your Daddy! I wish you both the best, really). I know it's not going to be easy at some points and that it will take me some times because I am such an impatient person, and I kind of feel super anxious when I don't understand things quickly or experience these new feelings I'm finally paying attention to. 

 

I will send you a friend request so we can maybe talk if you don't mind! I would also like to talk with more new littles and share experiences and how you feel, if you're okay with that ;_; Thanks again for replying, I really appreciate it!

[DiamondEyes]

Thank you so much for your response ;-; If I'm completely honest I am still kind of scared of totally accepting it and just let go a little bit, I would say. But seeing what you've been through kind of makes me think that is definitely worth a try (I'm happy to hear you realised it finally and are now happy with your Daddy! I wish you both the best, really). I know it's not going to be easy at some points and that it will take me some times because I am such an impatient person, and I kind of feel super anxious when I don't understand things quickly or experience these new feelings I'm finally paying attention to. 

I will send you a friend request so we can maybe talk if you don't mind! I would also like to talk with more new littles and share experiences and how you feel, if you're okay with that ;_; Thanks again for replying, I really appreciate it!

I know exactly what you mean...I fought against the feelings for about a month before I just completely gave in... Trying to go against your own inner nature is so scary & painful, on the one hand you just want to be you, but on the other you lose your identity & other people will judge you for changing... I have had a lot of backlash from my family & friends. But it's been worth it completely because I feel more like myself every day!!!

 

Yes please add me I would love to chat :3

[Nina_doll]

 

 

 

 

 

At the same time, understand and accept that however much the average person needs of all these things, you might need them a little more. It wasn't a choice you made at some point where you decided to need these things, it just so happens to fit your natural tendencies. The good news is that this applies both ways, so keep this in mind: Everyone is equally needy - we just need different things. Whatever it is that you need, there is someone out there who loves to provide it. Whatever traits you have to offer, there is someone out there who appreciates those specifically. As daunting as it seems when you enter this world, as the list of requirements seems to become ever more specific, consider you'll just be better than most at filtering out people who aren't exactly your match, causing the right person to feel even more right, making the relationship even more special.

First of all thank you for taking your time to reply with so much detail, it really helps clearing my thoughts and some of my doubts. In particular this part you mention here resonates a lot with me, and made me realise that you're right and maybe I should take it a bit more easier. I am a really anxious person and sometimes forget to breath and think when I have worries, specially when they're this new and different for me. But thinking that just as I have these needs other people will have the ones that fit with mine... it just takes a weight off my shoulders, even if the task of now finding someone like that has begun. Though like you mention it will be easier, as I now start to know what I need to be happy.

 

I don't know if I'm ready yet to explain this side of me to my IRL close friends, because I don't think I still truly understand everything and I think I have so much more to learn but... the approach you present will make it much easier and makes think that it might not be a bad idea to share this with the people I already know outside the DDLG world, so thank you for that. 

 

Either way I will start exploring without -hopefully- much fear and see where it takes me; knowing myself has always been a big task because I can't seem to get along too well with myself but maybe that was because I had some parts blocked that I didn't truly accept yet, so hopefully this will start to make it easier and it will get to a point where I can finally be me without any fear, and with a bit of luck I'll find someone to share it with. 

 

But anyway, thanks again for your detailed response and your welcoming, it actually helped a lot calming my nerves! Let's see where this new path takes me from now on. ^^

[Nina_doll]

I know exactly what you mean...I fought against the feelings for about a month before I just completely gave in... Trying to go against your own inner nature is so scary & painful, on the one hand you just want to be you, but on the other you lose your identity & other people will judge you for changing... I have had a lot of backlash from my family & friends. But it's been worth it completely because I feel more like myself every day!!!

 

Yes please add me I would love to chat :3

I guess you have to always sacrifice something to some extent if you want to be truly happy and yourself, but as you say it is worth it

 

Just sent you a friend request! ^^

[MJA78]

I fought with feelings and suppressed them all my life and I am finally coming to terms with being a little myself. The world is an ugly and scary place when you are not allowed to be yourself and forced to be what others expect you to be.

[Holly.lea]

Hi,

 

You have wrote a post that I have been struggling to write for a while.

 

I discovered what a little was by accident, one night when I was reading through Tumblr. Once I did some more research into what a little was I discovered that I have always been a Little. 

 

I don't regress to an age, or have little head-space, it is just who I am! An example of this is at work, I have a serious job however my little tendencies are still there, I have a unicorn lunch box, and use coloured pens. Even my manager has accepted my little quirks, as she calls them, and embraces them. Gets me juice cartons and even bought me a princes mug for my tea. 

 

I have been really lucky in finding and becoming really good friends with a caregiver (CG). He has helped me understand that I am not an abnormal little, its just who I am and that it is normal. Knowing that I am a little helps me to understanding my feelings more and how to deal with them.

 

Just because you have found a name that describes part of your personality, doesn't change you. You are still you! You don't have to go round saying Hi I am little. You are you! 

 

Sorry if this doesn't make too much sense, I struggle to put it into words. 

 

xx

[VentralStriatum]

Hi,

 

You have wrote a post that I have been struggling to write for a while.

 

I discovered what a little was by accident, one night when I was reading through Tumblr. Once I did some more research into what a little was I discovered that I have always been a Little. 

 

I don't regress to an age, or have little head-space, it is just who I am! An example of this is at work, I have a serious job however my little tendencies are still there, I have a unicorn lunch box, and use coloured pens. Even my manager has accepted my little quirks, as she calls them, and embraces them. Gets me juice cartons and even bought me a princes mug for my tea. 

 

I have been really lucky in finding and becoming really good friends with a caregiver (CG). He has helped me understand that I am not an abnormal little, its just who I am and that it is normal. Knowing that I am a little helps me to understanding my feelings more and how to deal with them.

 

Just because you have found a name that describes part of your personality, doesn't change you. You are still you! You don't have to go round saying Hi I am little. You are you! 

 

Sorry if this doesn't make too much sense, I struggle to put it into words. 

 

xx

Just wanted to write that I felt you put it into words beautifully. I'm happy you found an environment that's so supportive of your tendencies and embraces you for who you are. I think those experiences are very much worth sharing to gain perspective of what it could look like when you're surrounded by people who accept and understand this part of your personality. That it's just a part of who you are, and that you don't have to feel it's something you need to hide completely at all costs. Thank you for sharing!

[Nina_doll]

Hi,

 

You have wrote a post that I have been struggling to write for a while.

 

I discovered what a little was by accident, one night when I was reading through Tumblr. Once I did some more research into what a little was I discovered that I have always been a Little. 

 

I don't regress to an age, or have little head-space, it is just who I am! An example of this is at work, I have a serious job however my little tendencies are still there, I have a unicorn lunch box, and use coloured pens. Even my manager has accepted my little quirks, as she calls them, and embraces them. Gets me juice cartons and even bought me a princes mug for my tea. 

 

I have been really lucky in finding and becoming really good friends with a caregiver (CG). He has helped me understand that I am not an abnormal little, its just who I am and that it is normal. Knowing that I am a little helps me to understanding my feelings more and how to deal with them.

 

Just because you have found a name that describes part of your personality, doesn't change you. You are still you! You don't have to go round saying Hi I am little. You are you! 

 

Sorry if this doesn't make too much sense, I struggle to put it into words. 

 

xx

Hello!

 

It makes complete sense! I think I can see myself translating this part of the personality into little  things (pun intended) like this on my everyday life, which is something I kind of struggle with now. I guess I just have to find a GC who will accept the little that's me just the way she is, as much as I think it's not normal or that it doesn't feel completely right because not everything really fits. I am really happy to hear you have such a good environment, I think everything would be easier if it was like that always. 

 

So thank you for sharing, with so many people here that seem to understand this and is giving me support -even just by sharing their own experiences- makes easier to accept everything and just see it as something that's a part of who I am, and that there's nothing wrong with that. 

 

So yeah, thanks again, really! Hope you're having a nice day. ^^