What To Do When Daddy Doesn't Let Me Control My Own Money

[Cardin Daddys Prince]

I am a hard worker and I earn a lot of money. I am still in highschool and daddy is saving it all for collage. But I want control over it. He won't let me he says he isn't comfortable letting his 3 year old little have that much money. I mean why can't I have some when I am not in my little space. How should I convince daddy to let my use it.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Are you serious?

If this is not something you specifically asked him to do, tell him to step off.

Wow.

[Cardin Daddys Prince]

Ok.

[Guest Buttons]

I'm sorry you're upset about this. <3

 

I think it's super, super important to remember that before you are a sub/little and dom/caregiver, you are both partners. You are two adults in a relationship, with one aspect of that involving a consensual ddlg dynamic. 

 

If you have not discussed and consented to him having control of the money, then he cannot simply do it. That is wrong. That is not a ddlg problem; that is a relationship problem, where you need to sit down as two adults and discuss what is making you uncomfortable and how you guys can work through it. 

 

You are a full, intelligent adult who deserves respect, so demand it. Maybe safeword, and sit down as two adults, and talk it through. Before we're littles, we're adults. Your money is yours. If you both discuss the idea of him having control over your money, and you consent to it, that's okay. But he cannot decide to do that without consent.

Best of luck! <3 

[Cardin Daddys Prince]

He doesn't use it at all or anything but he never gives it to me.

[Cardin Daddys Prince]

But yeah. I think I might safeword and tell him.

[Guest Lovesdaddy1972]

Perhaps suggest him letting you have the money in the form of an "allowance".  Asking for say 10% of what you make for yourself and saving the rest probably would not be an unreasonable request.  It should be your reward for working so hard and saving for school too.

[Cardin Daddys Prince]

Perhaps suggest him letting you have the money in the form of an "allowance".  Asking for say 10% of what you make for yourself and saving the rest probably would not be an unreasonable request.  It should be your reward for working so hard and saving for school too.

Good idea!

[Guest buddhagirl]

I don't think it is right to ask for an allowance or use your safeword. I'm going to assume that his intentions are good, but this is not okay. Here's how the conversation could go...

"Daddy, I know you want to protect me and worry that I won't be able to handle having my own money. Thank you for always wanting to take such good care or me. That being said, I'm not comfortable with the money I earn as a big girl being a part of our relationship dynamic. I am happy to have your advice and guidance, but I need to have control over the money make going forward."

End of story. If he continues to withhold your money, it's abuse. And how is he getting it anyway? If you have been handing it over, stop. 

[MrBonesWildRide]

I don't think it is right to ask for an allowance or use your safeword. I'm going to assume that his intentions are good, but this is not okay. Here's how the conversation could go...

"Daddy, I know you want to protect me and worry that I won't be able to handle having my own money. Thank you for always wanting to take such good care or me. That being said, I'm not comfortable with the money I earn as a big girl being a part of our relationship dynamic. I am happy to have your advice and guidance, but I need to have control over the money make going forward."

End of story. If he continues to withhold your money, it's abuse. And how is he getting it anyway? If you have been handing it over, stop. 

 

If calling the safe word allows for a serious discussion, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But I get what you're saying.

 

Other than that, I 100% back Buddhagirl's idea. This isn't a negotiation unless you are willing to surrender the money. And at that point, you can surrender only as much as you give him. Don't set yourself up for a bad situation by having him take the money whenever you get it. 

[Guest buddhagirl]

And when I say, "It's not okay", I mean that it's not okay for him to take and control her money if she doesn't want him to. It's a different story if she does it freely, happily, and without coercion or undue influence. But that's not what CDP said.

 

This kind of post worries me. I see so many posts here that raise red flags of people that could be easily hurt or taken advantage of. I don't know if that's how life just is for many people in the world, or if this dynamic creates more opportunities for exploitation and unhealthy relationship behavior. I do think that many people in the world behave badly in relationships, and DDlg just gives a few people excuses for that behavior. "It's okay that I control you because you're just a little kid" or "I can't help how I'm acting because I'm just a little girl". 

 

The bottom line is that if you're an adult (18 or over) you ultimately have to look out for yourself. I love having a Daddy that takes care of me in so many ways, but I still need to take care of myself in many aspects of life: health, financial security, etc. 

[MrBonesWildRide]

This kind of post worries me. I see so many posts here that raise red flags of people that could be easily hurt or taken advantage of. I don't know if that's how life just is for many people in the world, or if this dynamic creates more opportunities for exploitation and unhealthy relationship behavior. I do think that many people in the world behave badly in relationships, and DDlg just gives a few people excuses for that behavior. "It's okay that I control you because you're just a little kid" or "I can't help how I'm acting because I'm just a little girl". 

 

I completely agree. Who knew that people would embrace immaturity in their adult lifes and then write it off as "part of the lifestyle". 

 

I don't think most people from this site or anywhere else could actually adopt Total Power Exchange relationships where one person ultimately controls everything. It's just not feasible and it goes against the fact that many, many relationships will eventually hit turbulence. Putting yourself so far out of the loop that you cripple yourself when you're no longer with your partner is just going to be hitting a giant rock wall call "reality". 

[Guest Penny]

Letting someone control your money is a bad idea unless you have set down ground rules an both parties are 110% okay with it but if you let someone control your money they basically have total power over you.

 

I had an ex do that to me and I idiotically went along with it so when he started actually beating me I couldn't get to my cash and I had no way to get out.

 

As far as the power exchange goes I would maybe let them control paying my bills and living expenses for me but as far as total access to my bank account hell no.

 

The est advice my mom ever gave me was "always keep your money separate and always keep it safe. I don't care if you are just dating or if you have been married 10 years a lot can go wrong with that situation and you need to be able to take care of yourself."

[lilvioletcub]

Letting someone control your money is a bad idea unless you have set down ground rules an both parties are 110% okay with it but if you let someone control your money they basically have total power over you.

 

I had an ex do that to me and I idiotically went along with it so when he started actually beating me I couldn't get to my cash and I had no way to get out.

 

As far as the power exchange goes I would maybe let them control paying my bills and living expenses for me but as far as total access to my bank account hell no.

 

The est advice my mom ever gave me was "always keep your money separate and always keep it safe. I don't care if you are just dating or if you have been married 10 years a lot can go wrong with that situation and you need to be able to take care of yourself."

 This user was banned due to being under aged (I thought something was wierd why are you 20 and still in highschool? the age on the profile and what was said here didn't match)

[The Perennial Princess]

Thread is being locked. The OP has had their account deleted.