Demisexal littles/middles

[Guest liljeannie]

As someone who only feels sexual attraction when I feel an emotional connection, Im finding it difficult to navigate interactions on here. It seems a number of people use these sites to hook up and have some sexy times online without really making any kind of connection. I dont believe that is the main intention of this site. There is a personals section here for that.

I feel like I can't accept friend requests from anyone other than littles. Im here just wanting to learn about DDlg and about understanding a part of me that I, most of my life, have had to suppress.

Are there other demisexuals on here? How do you deal with daddies that are trying to turn things sexual?

[Satan]

Hello, I'm demi and I have dealt with that everywhere. (Not just on here) all you can do it weed through people. There is nothing wrong with just wanted sex at all but when that's not what YOU are looking for it can make it frustrating.

How do I deal with daddies who don't respect my wishes? Easy. Remove and block them.

There are good people here friendly for the most part. I tend to only add daddies that have bothered making a few post or statuses. Or that I have talked to in chat. That helps cut down on a lot to the dudes who try and add as many littles as possible

[Guest Thunder Sprite]

Yes. I'm extremely reluctant to accept friend requests from DD's if we've not had some interaction in the forums or chat. I can't say that I've found a good coping strategy yet, but FWIW you're very much not alone in this.

[babybunnyx97]

Hi I'm not demi but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with every guy here what I mean is you don't have to be demi to feel uncomfortable with guys who message you for sex, nudes or whatever. I say guys because usually the younger ones think they can just call themselves Daddy and have littles go crazy for them or sth. But older men can be like that too and any of them can take advantage of vulnerable littles. There are also women acting like that too. If you don't like it here, imagine Tumblr! a guy once told me to do as I was told when I refused to send nudes. As if! ‍♀ this forum is actually way better than that. I accept friend requests from Daddies but always check their profile first. I don't think you should accept requests only from littles. You can learn a lot from Daddies who genuinely want to help or share their experience. I've been talking to a Daddy here and he's great! I haven't talked to any littles the same way I talk to him. I've learnt a lot and he shares his experience with me and he reads everything I need to tell him and has given me great advice and support. He's not my Daddy and I'm not his little. We haven't shared any pics or anything like that. If you limit yourself to only accept little's requests then you could lose an opportunity like that. Not every man here wants to take advantage of littles or meet them for sex. This man I met lives in a different continent from me! The only thing that sometimes feels a bit scary is that I have a bf who doesn't know I'm a little, and sometimes I worry if the conversation I have with this Daddy could be wrong because I obviously share things with him that I haven't told my bf. But that's it, he makes me feel really comfortable and gives advice and help and tells me of his experience. Anyway, I hope this helps and you can find good Daddies here who aren't interested in talking to you for sexual reasons

I've suppressed this part of myself too. I only started accepting it a few months ago, maybe a year. There's lots of support here and I hope you can find good people to talk to and learn more about DDlg as I'm doing

[Guest liljeannie]

Hi I'm not demi but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with every guy here what I mean is you don't have to be demi to feel uncomfortable with guys who message you for sex, nudes or whatever. I say guys because usually the younger ones think they can just call themselves Daddy and have littles go crazy for them or sth. But older men can be like that too and any of them can take advantage of vulnerable littles. There are also women acting like that too. If you don't like it here, imagine Tumblr! a guy once told me to do as I was told when I refused to send nudes. As if! ‍♀ this forum is actually way better than that. I accept friend requests from Daddies but always check their profile first. I don't think you should accept requests only from littles. You can learn a lot from Daddies who genuinely want to help or share their experience.

 

Good point. I didnt mean to say that only demisexuals need an emotional connection. I just find it harder to know how to interact partly because I dont think that way. Im awkward at best in normal conversations, Lol.

Im glad you found someone to talk to that has kept it platonic. That gives me hope.

[Guest liljeannie]

I think Im also feeling extra vulnerable because this is all so new for me, getting more in touch with middle me I mean. She's been through a lot and its just hard to trust.

[Guest hideouslovely]

Hi Jeannie. 

 

I'm also demi and when I joined here I was in exactly the same position.  I was here to learn about DDlg and to learn about myself.  There will always be people who try to take advantage of littles and middles that are new to DDlg.  The best advice I can give is to take lots of time when talking to someone and don't let anyone push you into anything.  Like Satan said, there isn't anything wrong with wanting sexual interactions but just block or remove if it happens.  

 

It can be a good idea to guard your little/middle part and get to know someone on a friendly basis before you feel you can trust enough to be little/middle with that person.

 

I hope that helps a little.  I'd be more than happy to chat more if you want. 

[Kichōna]

I'm not demi but I am asexual so I know a lot of what you are feeling. Trying to find a Caregiver that doesn't want to have sex right away or want sex at all is super hard. Finding the perfect partner takes time and patience but I am sure you will find someone who will respect you and your sexuality so that you two can have a fulfilling relationship. 

[Kricketot]

I FEEL YOUR PAIN.  I'm demi, taken, monogamous, and absolutely not interested in anyone who isn't my Papa Bear. I make that pretty clear on my online profiles, and the number of inappropriate messages that still end up in my inbox is... astounding. 

 

I've hit it off with Dom types before and all of a sudden, as soon as I'm feeling like I've made a good friend, they drop the "I have feelings for you even though you're taken / I want you to be my sub / Are you poly?!?" bomb on meand I feel like I've wasted so much time. I can see why a lot of people in online CG/l spaces are looking to form a potential sexual or romantic connection with someone as it's, y'know, a kink after all.  It just goes with the territory.  Some people, like you and me, need that emotional connection first.  Other people want something with no strings attached (though I'd argue that they're kinda in the wrong place as a healthy D/s dynamic REQUIRES a strong emotional connection).  Other people are trying to take advantage of others and should be avoided altogether. 

 

The thing is, nobody has the right to pressure you into moving faster than you're comfortable with, and nobody has the right to harass you with unwanted messages. If someone can't respect your wishes and boundaries, send them on a one way ticket to Blocked User Land where they belong.  My advice is not to open up too fast before you're sure that you're getting good vibes from a person, to stick to your guns and not let anyone strong-arm you into anything, and to not blame yourself if you end up devoting time and energy to someone who ends up not being what they seem. It may take time to find someone who's looking for the exact same things you are, but they're out there, I promise. 

[Guest liljeannie]

Hi Jeannie. 

 

I'm also demi and when I joined here I was in exactly the same position.  I was here to learn about DDlg and to learn about myself.  There will always be people who try to take advantage of littles and middles that are new to DDlg.  The best advice I can give is to take lots of time when talking to someone and don't let anyone push you into anything.  Like Satan said, there isn't anything wrong with wanting sexual interactions but just block or remove if it happens.  

 

It can be a good idea to guard your little/middle part and get to know someone on a friendly basis before you feel you can trust enough to be little/middle with that person.

 

I hope that helps a little.  I'd be more than happy to chat more if you want. 

Thank you. Im feeling a lot better about things now that Ive posted this.

[Guest liljeannie]

I FEEL YOUR PAIN.  I'm demi, taken, monogamous, and absolutely not interested in anyone who isn't my Papa Bear. I make that pretty clear on my online profiles, and the number of inappropriate messages that still end up in my inbox is... astounding. 

 

I've hit it off with Dom types before and all of a sudden, as soon as I'm feeling like I've made a good friend, they drop the "I have feelings for you even though you're taken / I want you to be my sub / Are you poly?!?" bomb on meand I feel like I've wasted so much time. I can see why a lot of people in online CG/l spaces are looking to form a potential sexual or romantic connection with someone as it's, y'know, a kink after all.  It just goes with the territory.  Some people, like you and me, need that emotional connection first.  Other people want something with no strings attached (though I'd argue that they're kinda in the wrong place as a healthy D/s dynamic REQUIRES a strong emotional connection).  Other people are trying to take advantage of others and should be avoided altogether. 

 

The thing is, nobody has the right to pressure you into moving faster than you're comfortable with, and nobody has the right to harass you with unwanted messages. If someone can't respect your wishes and boundaries, send them on a one way ticket to Blocked User Land where they belong.  My advice is not to open up too fast before you're sure that you're getting good vibes from a person, to stick to your guns and not let anyone strong-arm you into anything, and to not blame yourself if you end up devoting time and energy to someone who ends up not being what they seem. It may take time to find someone who's looking for the exact same things you are, but they're out there, I promise.

 

Im sorry you have had that problem. Some people dont understand/respect boundries too well.

I felt a bit foolish for letting things get to that point, although I did say to them from the beginning I was just looking for friendship. It wasnt just one person so it became too much. For now Im going to stick to little friends. Maybe sometime in the future I'll be ready for something more.

[Guest Daddy’s Back]

Just be aware that not all of us daddies are sexual. You just need to meet the right ones.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I'm demi as well. I didn't meet my Daddy on here, but when I was single, I'd only accept friend requests from daddies on here who didn't seem shady, seemed at least some what compatible (demi ways included) and actually put some effort into their profile or posts so I had a sense of the person. So that being said, the messages I received from daddies on here were very friendly and respectful. So, I would just use that method if you're hoping to avoid less savory interactions. And if you do happen to get a message that makes you feel uncomfortable in that way, you're under no obligation to respond to it. I wouldn't feel bad about it. I have trust issues as well, so I get it. In the end, I think it's a good thing to have your guard up and not just trust anyone right off the bat. Trust is earned so people should have to earn it.

[Guest hideouslovely]

Thank you. Im feeling a lot better about things now that Ive posted this.

 

Good!  Also, I thought I'd mention that I met my Daddy here and we got married this year. 

[ScaredLilTurkeyKitten]

Hey, demi little here, there is often a lot of fakes or people that just want roleplay, or people that just want to get their rocks off and nothing serious but, thats only like maybe 30% in total give or take, you might just notice the negative side more because you want to stay clear of them so you notice them more, there are a few Daddy's and Dom's on here that I have spoken to that are demi aswell. The more I get out online and talk to people more, the more I notice how I'm not alone and there are people the similar morals or similar wants like mine. Not sure if this helps or anything though.. im pretty scatter brained at the current moment but i wanted to atleast make a comment on this lol

 

I hope all is well and if you ever need to vent or chat im always down for new friends! >.< 

[Guest liljeannie]

Good!  Also, I thought I'd mention that I met my Daddy here and we got married this year. 

That's so awesome! Congratulations!

[Guest liljeannie]

Hey, demi little here, there is often a lot of fakes or people that just want roleplay, or people that just want to get their rocks off and nothing serious but, thats only like maybe 30% in total give or take, you might just notice the negative side more because you want to stay clear of them so you notice them more, there are a few Daddy's and Dom's on here that I have spoken to that are demi aswell. The more I get out online and talk to people more, the more I notice how I'm not alone and there are people the similar morals or similar wants like mine. Not sure if this helps or anything though.. im pretty scatter brained at the current moment but i wanted to atleast make a comment on this lol

 

I hope all is well and if you ever need to vent or chat im always down for new friends! >.<

 

Thank you, you didnt seem scatterbrained at all.

I really appreciate everyone's comments.

[Kitten&Spice]

Honestly I can definitely understand your pain! I myself am demisexual as well and I had to even take that off my personal considering people took it as a possible opportunity and not anything else! I have found it extremely difficult to find a Dom who is only seeking out a deeper connection aside from sex on this site and I actually do accept friend request from Doms who don’t have at least something on their page so I can get an idea as to what they really use the site for!

 

In my opinion I find it easier to trust and accept request when the dom or even little has posted a few times on the forum and the posts are beyond just commenting on personals or their personal themselves. I have found that those who take this seriously and look beyond just a quick fling tend to interact on here more! Of course even then it is hard to say but it’s important to know your boundaries and set up values for what you want! I learned from a wonderful friend that it is good to know what you look for so it is easier to find what you want!

 

Honestly this forum is one forum that has had some wonderful and supportive people! There has also been several wonderful Doms and littles who I have met on here who are genuinely looking for those connections! And I even met a few who were wonderful and instead of play around said that they were looking for someone more sexual and that they respect me for what I am doing and left it to that! And I respect Doms who don’t play around and will be honest with you! Some people use sex as a way of growing relationships while other people don’t need it! Honestly I think this site has a few bad but there is more good! It’s a shame that you had to deal with the bad so early. I hope that you can find some friends and hopefully the dom that you deserve! Good luck on the search!