Making Long Distance Work

[LilBlue21]

[Hillbros]

Definitely need to talk to him, and work it out with him and come up that works for both of you. Unfortunately he does have a life to lead, but he also needs to take some time out of his schedule to make it work for you.  I don’t think I can stress clear communication enough.  The down side if he cannot make that time, he just may not be the right one for you.

[daddymind]

I'd just like to reassure you that it can work. My babs (US) and I (UK) met online two years ago and I travelled to see her several times. We got married this October. I stayed two weeks in Mexico so I could get entry to the US during the covid travel ban but so glad I did. I'm now starting the process to get my green card. Long distance is sooo difficult, but if you're right for each other you will make it happen. You'll see how devoted to you he is over time. With long distance, traveling to see each other is one of the biggest indicators of that devotion. There's something extra special and strong about LDR when things start to come together despite the distance. I'm actually quite jealous he's so close to you (i.e. in the same country!). But I understand his particular obstacle right now is work hours. So in a way, that is a part of the distance. It's not just geographic.

 

Babs does struggle with the time apart. But we video call every day. I tell her I love her every day, I support her and reassure her we will be together and I am working hard to make that happen. I make sure she understands that the time between now and when we're finally together will be worth it and that I will make sure of that. The whole thing is kind of bitter sweet, very emotionally challenging and it really does focus the mind. I'm 36 and this is the single biggest challenge I have faced in my life. But I will find my way to her and all this waiting and anxiety will become just a mere blip. I am determined. I hope he can show you that same determination. People have closed distance in far more difficult circumstances.

 

When both of you can say, hand on heart, "this has to happen" and steps start being taken towards closing that distance and showing that determination, you'll become more confident. I will stress that LDR is probably the biggest test any relationship could face. So you're looking for signals along the way, far more than "regular" relationships, that reassure you this test is going to be passed. And in the end, the positive thing in all of this is it is a testament to how strong you are as a couple.

 

Not many people would be able or willing to deal with this. So if you are willing to see it through, you can be sure your relationship will be the strongest it is possible for a relationship to be. Not a bad foundation to build on if you ask me!

Edited November 22, 2020 by daddymind

[Alaskan Daddy]

First thing I want to say is that the concerns and struggles you are going through is very common with lots of little's, especially when it is long distance. LDR's can be hard. As a daddy I only have had long distance littles but we made it work. As a daddy I always insisted that my little tell me all her feelings about our relationship. In my opinion your daddy wants to know all your fears and concerns. That is the only way that he can give you the care you need and desire. I am sure your daddy respects your feelings as being very real and knows you can not help how you feel. And the only way you will ever know if this relationship is going to work for both of you is if you and your daddy have open and honest communication about all things that affect the dynamic. Every time my little would express any of the concerns you have expressed, it helped me to grow as a daddy. It helped me become a better listener and it helped me understand any struggles she was dealing with. In the end I became a better care giver and a more patient daddy. If you can be open with your daddy about the struggles and concerns you have listed here and he responds in the way you need and desire than that can only help you to trust him more with your heart. I know it can be scary for you to tell your daddy some of those things out of a fear that you might push him away. 

I hope my words will help you with the struggles you are going through.

[MissPattch]

Daddy and i are only an hour and half apart, but because we are in seperate countries and under lockdown, the distance feels greater. If you do a search on here for Long Distance relationships, the advice you'll see most often is to communicate. You need to let your Daddy know how you feel and what you're thinking, because he's not a mind reader. If it turns out he isn't able to handle the level of interaction you need, then maybe he isn't the right one for you, nor you him. 

 

Finding a time when you are both calm and relaxed with each other is the best way to start a difficult conversation. Try to keep your feelings and statements about yourself, rather than your daddy. This is about how you feel, after all. 

 

Making a long distance relationship work is a different process for everybody. But the one thing they all have in common is the talking. Some people handle the distance better than others, some people need more conversation time than others, some people need frequent and regular opportunities to meet up in person. It all depends on you and your partner as to how you find the way through. It's still early days for the both of you, and these are the kind of conversations you need to have, so that expectations and limits can be set, so neither of you are left feeling disappointed or feeling let down. Its important for our mental health that we know what to expect  going forwards in our relationships / dynamics. Yes, it might be a little bit formal and boring, but it helps save any confusion and hurt later on down the line <3

[Diary of Rosie]

As everyone else has mentioned, you should tell him about your worries so that he has the chance to raise to the occasion and reassure you! And if your Daddy is too busy to talk every day, maybe you can share an online journal. That way you can still share all your thoughts and happenings. Just some thoughts, hope you work it out!