feeling unsafe/others opinions/kink shame

[PrincessSnorlax]

hello, i haven't posted for a whilst but have come here for a bit of comfort. recently on social media ive seen a lot of articles being shared around, different groups etc all shaming ddlg and cgl relationships. some really horrible disturbing things have been said - not directly to me just in general towards littles and their caregivers/doms. some even wishing physical harm etc its awful.

 

its really made me crawl more inwards, being a secret little anyway, i now feel more fearful than ever of anyone ever discovering me and my daddys way. its made me question my own choices, and tbh if im even normal idk. i feel insecure i guess about being smog after seeing so much negativity surrounding something which is a coping mechanism for me.

 

i guess im looking for words of comfort, or just to know others sometimes feel the same. i just feel sad in my little space lately.

[PolyMolly]

Aww, that sucks and I know what you mean. The misconceptions are huge and so disturbing. I get why people think what they do; I mean, I thought the same at one point. But then I got to know people in the DDlg/CGl community and came to realize I had been wrong. The most helpful thing for me is to talk to other littles in communities where I'm comfortable; where consent and keeping it for 18+ only are made really important. And just being with Daddy and knowing that what we have is healthy for both of us and doesn't hurt anyone at all or have the potential for hurting anyone, that helps most of all.

 

Sometimes my head still hurts a little if I think about it too hard, but I'm slowly coming to a better understanding of the hows and whys of this lifestyle. Ooh another thing that really helps me is remembering that it's not about pretending to be young or your CG pretending to be with a child. It is you, and your CG, and the little part of you and the CG part of your partner are a part of you, not some fantasy of something illegal or wrong. Little me IS me and I'm a consenting adult. That is a piece of me and it's healthy and fine. And my Daddy's Daddy side is a part of him; a huge part. I'm not picturing my actual father (eyeroll). Even if I were, he's NOT my actual father. I don't know if that's helpful to you, but I hope so.

 

Anyway, know that you are not alone. There are so many wonderful things about being little! And it's definitely a healthy coping mechanism. You keep being you. Maybe try not to look at those posts? I find them really distressing when people just don't understand and are just throwing around misinformation.

[LittleTeacup]

Oh no, I'm so sorry you've come across such upsetting and invalidating articles and comments! I haven't seen any of the articles in question, but I'm sure they're very misinformed! There's nothing wrong with ddlg, cgl, or any consensual, caring relationship between adults. I personally don't stand for any kink shaming and if I see people doing it I try to correct them (even though the majority of the time it's not my own kink) or I choose to not give my attention to those people.

 

If there are people threatening physical harm to anybody simply for engaging in a kink, they should probably be reported. Violent threats are unacceptable. In no way does this kink harm children because children are not allowed to engage. And since when has being childlike or fatherly/motherly been a bad thing?

 

It's your choice about how open you want to be. I personally don't want to hide myself because of some ignorant people online. Feeling it's not safe to express who you are inside can cause so much stress and I want a world where nobody has to hide themselves. I fully respect you as a human being with your own beautiful personality. Being little is comforting to you, and there's nothing wrong with that! It's far healthier than what many others use to cope with society, like alcohol or screaming at the tv. Perhaps it's possible to unfollow or block some of the accounts sharing such distressing things? Social media is supposed to lift you up, not drag you down.

[Kitten&Spice]

I am sorry that you have run across such harmful and ignorant statements and articles. It is a shame that people tend to pick on those who are involved in more “taboo” play but in all honesty it is nothing you should feel needs to be brought out unless it is on your time. People do not deserve to know about you in anyways that you are not willing to share. If you don’t feel that those people will support you or rather uplift you then they really don’t need to know. It isn’t any of their business how you live your life and what makes you happy!

 

Most of what is being said could have been drawn from one or several small instances that caused the media to grab hold of it. They never report the good in any situation and like anything else people will not listen or watch something that goes along the lines of uplifting. If you do any thing out of the norm; and trust me everyone does this at some point, you will be harassed and made fun of. Furries, Gamers, Cosplayers, Skateboarders, Anyone in the LGTB+ community, and even religious people have all faced the same backlash. They get negative comments from people who refuse to better understand the person and would rather bring others down. It is their insecurity that speaks harm and their lack of understanding.

 

Just know that you are completely valid and that those people when asked would never have a clue as to what a really DDlg relationship is and what partakes in it. I am sure if they got educated on it then they would not say half the things they wrote about. And if they refuse to open their eyes to it then it is their loss. They don’t deserve the facts or the many conversations educating them. They can sit back and grumble and torment all by themselves. You can live life knowing you did what brought a smile to your face and what took you to places you never thought possible! You are a wonderful and unique person and the love you feel is immeasurable.

 

I hope this helped a little and I am sorry truly sorry for that. That is one reason as to why I hate a majority of people and have very few friends. People in all reality are the worst things while being the best. Just know that you can’t make everyone happy and that anyone who says those things are unhappy with their life at the moment. So they always lash out at people who are enjoying their lives and being happy. They see what they might never have. Jealousy is a cruel mind.

[daddymind]

I feel the opposite. When someone denigrates me for my choices and lifestyle, especially when it hurts nobody, I just feel more determined to be myself. They can kiss my peachy little ass because I'm gonna do it anyway whether they like it or not. You should too. It's called individual freedom (puritans have always hated that concept).

Edited November 11, 2020 by daddymind

[Guest angel babygirl Gina tv]

It just shows how stupid and ignorant some people are I always think that why people respond that way is purely through lack of understanding knowledge of the abdl\ddlg\lifestyle they think that it's ok to say those things to say and to hell with the consequences of their actions no matter how harmful it's always the best thing to ignore them

[MJA78]

Matthew 18:3 Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven

 

ITS IN THE BIBLE

[DollDirector]

very serious matter.

 

you may have heard that a big porn site has just taken down a huge quantity of videos (fake, like 99% of porn, it's always good to remember that) because actors were playing underage. activists are (quite rightly) asking for more to be wiped out, in fact anything resembling underage.

 

in this context, you have to protect yourself. keep away.

take no risk of being engulfed in the turmoil. 

 

[MJA78]

Whatever consenting adults do behind closed doors is no one else's business. I don't care what age they act like, they are adults. Everyone should be able to have the freedom to express themselves sexually as long as its with consenting adults.

 

If there is an underage person involved THEN it becomes a very serious matter.

Edited December 16, 2020 by MJA78

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

It's trendy to be hateful nowadays, sadly. You see it all over with the rise of right-wing nuts who have determined it's safe to crawl out from under their rocks. Disgusting really. It's not just our community. Any minority or really any group at all can be targeted. Just be consoled that you have a Daddy who presumably would never let anyone harm or disrespect you

[MJA78]

They need to go back under the rocks where they belong. Fascism has no place in America. Period. There is absolutely nothing wrong with DDLG. The strongest bonds of love are formed under DDLG. I just wish this world would just rid itself of oppression. I mean we have the power to do it, we just need to wake up to it.

[Lilminamoo]

I am glad to know it isn't just me. I see so many people saying it is something that it is not and it makes me feel nervous about being me. I think you just have to keep your head up because they do not like what they believe the dynamic to be. But that is not actually the dynamic.  

People just do not like what they do not understand.

[Accountable Daddy]

You're going to find people bash everything under the sun. This is going to sound mean, but you have to ask yourself: does their opinion really matter to you?
I'm into traditional relationships, which is probably the furthest from harmful as you can get, and people still talk about it like it's the worst thing in the world. Some people just want to find hate in everything.

[Bubbles_and_Feathers]

I've been there too Makes me feel horrible and sick and yucky. I hope you take the time to take care of yourself and don't make yourself keep reading all those terrible meanie comments.