When/How to contact my (ex) daddy

[CuteCupcake]

me and my daddy have been together for 1,5 years and a bad fight made him break up with me and he was really mad, but it was going almost perfectly so far so I believe we have a chance again. Thing is I don’t know when to contact him and with what, since all the other breakup tips are things like “wait 30 days or you might seem needy”. Well my daddy always loved me being needy and was never annoyed by it so I wonder if I should really wait or try to contact him soon, since he liked my needy side. I just don’t know if it’d bother him now that we’ve broken up.

 

Besides that I don’t know how to contact him.. I made him a drawing, but I don’t know if I should send it? Also should I be little me or not, a bit or not at all? It has been 3 days since and we haven’t talked much, but from one of our friends I know that he’s sad but also really mad, I don’t know how long he’ll be mad for and I think contacting him while his mad isn’t such a good idea. It’s so hard since you barely can find any help.

Thanks for your answers❤️

[MissPattch]

If any of the responsibility for the fight that lead to you guys breaking up is yours, then i think writing him a letter would be a good place to start. If you are genuinely sorry for what happened, then let him know. He's still human and can still hurt. Maybe try to keep the needy in check a little bit, if he's dealing with his emotions, giving him yours as well might not be a good thing to do. Mostly, i'd say just be yourself and do what feels right. You know him better than any of us on here, and will have a better idea of how is likely to respond to you. But theres no harm in reaching out to him if you still feel connected <3

[baby_k]

So, you broke up because one argument after being together 1,5 years? And now it has been 3 days since the argument?

In longer rel I don't think it's good to so quickly end anything, especially not in heat of a moment ( thou I get it can happen but often then it's still just words ).

 

You know him best: how he deals with arguments? There are people who like to talk things out immediately and keep contact even if it means yelling at each other, and then there are those people who want to cool down before talking. And everything between. And those who just leave for good or who just act as if nothing ever happened.

 

One thing: why you seem so hesitant to contact him? Is it hard for you to face the other persons anger and upset which you may or may not deserved? Or are you genuinly thinking that out come is better if you let him cool off?

 

If you did something wrong or upsetting to him, I would send apology first, maybe with the picture you already did for him. So, sort of peace offering which also may make him more eager to talk to you and sort things out. It's also good to admit your own faults and mistakes, and not point fingers otherwise. If you cn see his side of the story, tell him that and be expressive about it ( like: "I can really get that it made you sad and upset as I ____. Anyone would feel ____ if ____ happened to them' ). People calm down when they feel heard and understood as they get things out that way.

 

Edit: and those "wait 30 days" are imo just mind games. Sure, can work but real adults talk to each other. +that wait 30 days often is a trick to get you deattach yourself from the bad rel....

Edited November 6, 2020 by baby_k

[BrassyBabyGirl]

Might want to look at this as adulting. Even though we love our dynamics you have to step out of things to fix stuff sometimes. Nobody likes to be pulled this way and that. You said you MADE him breakup with you and now you want him back. I would look at this as an adult situation when dealing with another's heart and life. Little me makes childish choices and I like that. My Daddy would not if I used this mode to make life decisions about his heart and life. 

[Kitten&Spice]

So, you broke up because one argument after being together 1,5 years? And now it has been 3 days since the argument?

In longer rel I don't think it's good to so quickly end anything, especially not in heat of a moment ( thou I get it can happen but often then it's still just words ).

 

You know him best: how he deals with arguments? There are people who like to talk things out immediately and keep contact even if it means yelling at each other, and then there are those people who want to cool down before talking. And everything between. And those who just leave for good or who just act as if nothing ever happened.

 

One thing: why you seem so hesitant to contact him? Is it hard for you to face the other persons anger and upset which you may or may not deserved? Or are you genuinly thinking that out come is better if you let him cool off?

 

If you did something wrong or upsetting to him, I would send apology first, maybe with the picture you already did for him. So, sort of peace offering which also may make him more eager to talk to you and sort things out. It's also good to admit your own faults and mistakes, and not point fingers otherwise. If you cn see his side of the story, tell him that and be expressive about it ( like: "I can really get that it made you sad and upset as I ____. Anyone would feel ____ if ____ happened to them' ). People calm down when they feel heard and understood as they get things out that way.

 

Edit: and those "wait 30 days" are imo just mind games. Sure, can work but real adults talk to each other. +that wait 30 days often is a trick to get you deattach yourself from the bad rel....

I agree with this one hundred percent! You are both adults and it should be addressed and handled like an adult. It is best to get a hold of him soon and talk things through. I would suggest calling or having him around when you do decide to get in contact. Texting is a horrible option since it can be read depending on how the person feels. If he is still mad then he will read the message wrong regardless of what is being said.

 

You also have to allow him to voice himself and how he feels. Let him talk about what made him so upset and what you can do to avoid this again. Learn from this experience and grow together. And afterwards let him know what your mindset was and go on. I read it as if you were the one to decide to break up. And if so I don’t really think that was appropriate. All relationships will have arguments and disagreements. It is the responsibility of both people to show empathy and understanding. And to work things out! In most arguments no one is in the right or wrong. But not communicating and waiting is only going to allow things to boil over and cause more harm to you and him.

 

I also agree waiting is a bad idea. Playing games like “waiting 30 days” is only going to cause toxic behavior and could really hurt him. It is playing with his emotions and ultimately could lead to some toxic behavior. Never wait that long. My advice is to talk as soon as possible. Usually wait an hour or 2 for you both to calm down and then let him know that you are ready to talk and to resolve things. If he is not ready give him time but let him know that you want things to be fixed and that you are ready whenever he is!