Tired of dating,any one else?

[possiblelittle]

Ive been trying to find some one since like three years now,ive tried every dating app,i still havent found the "right guy" for me.It's only jerks or guys i have no attraction,or chemistry with or who just want hookups,or do drugs or have kids which im not ready for.Im just tired of it,tired of trying and tired of being single and alone!Frustrated.I dont go out much either so meeting people online for dating or friendships is my go to way of meeting people.Ive never even had a bf im 30,just sucks.I want a guy to wake up next to,cuddle with,hold hands,is there for me.Maybe im too picky but i dont wanna settle for guys who arent my type or theres no connection.

[baby_k]

It can be tiresome but then I think you need a break from dating when it is. Because your headspace is not right then which means it's hard to connect.

 

I think in dating you have times when it is super fun, and/or you are meeting super cool people even if it won't turn out into anything romanic or "real". And then are the times when you either get bit heartbroken ( if one can say that when you don't even know the other person), upset, sad, insulted..... It is sort of part of the game that there are bad apples also unfortunately. Aand then you have the times when it feels depressing as you can't connect or find anyone and you wonder if you will be forever alone. It's all normal.

 

What I would tell you ( and myself XD ), is that take break from dating and make your life worth living even without someone else. When you are back in happy space again because of that, finding someone is ( in my experience ) almost automatic.

 

Do not settle for someone even getting cuddles, sex and all that can be tempting. Or maybe give it a try, could work for you but mostly.... not.

 

You say there is lot of jerks, drug users, men with kids etc. How you find those? At least I skip those dudes immediately, so I don't waste time with something that definately won't work for me. I think the more you have some sort of disapointments or even bad encounters, the more tired and pessimistic you become. I have been lucky to meet at least somewhat decent blokes that I can remember with warm feeling, and it helps to continue ven when I meet not so nice guys.

 

Then you also say that maybe you are too picky.... well,  could be but that's something maybe your friend could tell you or someone who knows more why you ditch guys. I also don't think being single for 3 years is not that bad but quite normal. It's not easy to find someone who really clicks well.

[possiblelittle]

Thanks for commenting!I do skip over all those guys except for jerks since i cant always tell that till i know a guy better.Ive been single my whole life didnt start dating till i was 27 have had a kinda sheltered life..But its been 3 years since ive been looking and ive had mostly negative experiences..The thing is i have depression and anxiety issues so im kinda usually in a negative headspace lol and being single and alone only makes it worse.

[Daddyisgreat]

I will answer this usually I am 29 years old and I finally found my one on the site it will take forever to find a true guy like me but there are others out there let them come to you you don't go to them

[baby_k]

It's always hard to know how someone is prehand, reason we date and try to get to know others I have had some reallyreally bad encounters but you also learn from them and start noticing the warning signs.

 

Maybe try to find friends instead of partner immediately? Some of my best dates have been with guys that I didn't have chemistry with but we ended up having good laugh and just great time. Some ended up being my friends. It's of course hard sometimes in this Tinder decade to just look for friends or try to start it slow but often I think the best of guys are either okay with it or even want the same. It's also more real to fall for person you already know, so you really fall for them, and not a fantasy you have about the person. And this way it's also wayyyy less upsetting if the guy turns out to be jerk as you are not as emotionally invested when you find out.

 

( Obviously don't take things slow just because, as if the guy seems right, why not go for it. It may end up in tears but maybe you really found the love of your life. )

 

I wonder if some friend or even family memeber could hook you up with someone: this way there is at least one sanity check made, and you might have fun time even if it wouldn't work as the person should be somewhat decent. ( This tip wouldn't work for me nor in my country as would be weird but it's done somewhere and seem spretty logical even ).

 

I'd assume the anxiety and depression makes life anyhow hard but don't think a guy is answer to your life. I mean.... it would be great to have someone to cuddle at sofa while watching a movie, fall asleep on someones shoulder and so on. I personally at least miss that a lot but one's life needs to be worth living without it also. And relationships bring lot of drama always compared to single life. There comes the good AND the bad.

[MysticSand]

Have you ever thought about a pet? Totally serious. I think having a fluffy animal could be a therapeutic tool for you as you focus on yourself and try to be happy on your own, like baby k above said. Having an animal to alleviate anxiety would probably work better than a human since animals can't talk back. 

 

But back to dating. I've heard that it's really tiring and gets old fast. Have you tried volunteering or joining groups that you have interest in (ie: sports, yoga, board games, etc.)? Pre-pandemic, of course.

I would reccomend to try out different hobbies in group settings and see if that takes you anywhere. And even if you make female friends there, they could have friends to network with and so forth. Worth a shot but tough in COVID times. 

[possiblelittle]

@baby k,I'm not close to fam so it be weird to ask them..

I usually put im looking for a relationship,in dating apps cause i dont wanna be used as just a hookup if i say im looking for friends want them to know i want something serious.

 

@mysticsand I have two cats,but having pets isnt the same as having a bf lol i miss the romance and talking and just a romantic relationship.I think i should try to find some female friends though,i only have male friends be nice to have female friends too,hopefully i can make some here.

 

@daddysgreat,Glad you found someone!

Also i dont wanna wait for ever tired of being single which is why im trying to find someone myself.

Edited October 23, 2020 by possiblelittle

[LeftyGuitar]

Dating can be hard. I know its been hard for me. It can be difficult to find someone you're compatible with. I know I've been looking a long time myself. Epsecially if you're looking for something specific like DDLG or MDLB (I think its even harder to find someone when it comes to MDLB). I think we all get tired of dating at some point. Maybe try writing a personal if you haven't already done so. One thing I've heard is to try to lower your standards if you have very high standards. However this may not always be ideal.

Edited October 24, 2020 by LeftyGuitar

[possiblelittle]

Edited October 24, 2020 by possiblelittle

[LeftyGuitar]

@leaftyguitar It's a fucking nightmare at times lol

whats mdlb?I don't get people who enjoy dating,I guess i take it too seriously..But i want something serious sp i take it seriously The instance a guy doesnt seem serious im usually instantly turned off.

 

btw sorry for accidently spamming your status,my phone sucks and is giving me all kinds of glitches on here i clicked to comment and it wasnt sending it than i tealized it hadSorry again!Hope you dont block me lol

I get it. It can be a disaster at times. But I guess dating is probably the only way to find someone or at least figure out what you want and don't want in a relationship. And what you like and dislike, etc. MDLB is sorta like opposite of DDLG, it stands for MommyDomme/Little Boy.

 

Also, you're good. No worries.

[possiblelittle]

I get it. It can be a disaster at times. But I guess dating is probably the only way to find someone or at least figure out what you want and don't want in a relationship. And what you like and dislike, etc. MDLB is sorta like opposite of DDLG, it stands for MommyDomme/Little Boy.

 

Also, you're good. No worries.

Yeah true about dating!..

 

and yeah i figured it meant that later.

 

and good!

[LeftyGuitar]

Yeah true about dating!..

 

and yeah i figured it meant that later.

 

and good!

Yeah. Hopefully dating gets easier and you can find someone you're compatible with. Yeah though when it comes to MDLB, the ratio is probably more one-sided. More LB's than Mommies, heh.

[possiblelittle]

Yeah. Hopefully dating gets easier and you can find someone you're compatible with. Yeah though when it comes to MDLB, the ratio is probably more one-sided. More LB's than Mommies, heh.

Yeah hope so :/ thanks

I hope you find what your looking for too!

[freekittyx3]

I’m in the same boat girl! I’m so tired of dating. In fact last night I ended up on a horrible date. I’m taking a break personally, it’s so draining. I’m sorry to hear of your troubles but I am sure a good man will come into your life!

[possiblelittle]

Edited November 10, 2020 by possiblelittle