~*Sweet*Pea*~ Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 Hi, so I've been with Daddy for 3 years now. Friday we got into an argument and he (5th time) told me we were breaking up, I was to leave his house, and that I wasnt making him happy and hadnt in a long time. The next day, he always takes it back and says he never meant it. For some reason, this time I have felt the sting much more than the other times. We just recently got comfortable with the Ddlg lifestyle, so I assume that maybe its because I've trusted him with much deeper parts of me than before. But the problem is that I've become numb, cold, unattracted, and I feel no more motivation to make him feel my need for him. I usually clean our house, prepare his shower essentials (towel, clean clothes, etc.), get him a drink and snack, and meet him at the door for hugs and kisses everyday after work. I also try to remind him daily of how attractive I find him and how he is my better half. I do it to make him feel loved, appreciated and everything else. I no longer feel the desire to do so. In fact, I now cant help but find him cocky, disrespectful, and somewhat annoying at times. I hate this feeling, but when I try to talk to him about it he cuts me off mid sentence and says what he wants to hear, in the "Im now the noble hero because I have admitted to my mistakes" attitude. However, his behaviour doesnt change. I dont know what to do. I dont want to continue in a relationship if I feel disrespected and broken down, but I do still love him. Help me please? Also, feel free to leave advice for him.
MrBonesWildRide Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 You have already found yourself pulling negative attributes to associate with him and have had 5 instances of your relationship not working out. This transcends simply DDLG and goes into your relationship at large: You are finding that perhaps you are not as compatible as you may have felt you were. Especially considering you have told us that you want to talk it out and he will not let you. Obviously this is all told from your perspective and we don't have a complete story. But from the way I see it, you are attempting to communicate and he is not reciprocating. If he is not reciprocating for communication, you do not feel like you want to carry on, and you do not want to take this to a professional counselor (relationship counselors exist, they do help from time to time), then your option is to end it.
~*Sweet*Pea*~ Posted October 20, 2015 Author Report Posted October 20, 2015 I appreciate your opinion, but we have talked about counseling. We just cannot afford it at the moment. We are looking for groups or something we can join for this situation.
MrBonesWildRide Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 We are looking for groups or something we can join for this situation. As in group therapy? Or just places to ask for advice?
Guest MyDaddyMyWorld Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 Why on earth are you still together? Seriously? Move on, it's a negative waste of both your lives. 1
Guest New Kitten Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 He sounds to me like a classic attention whore. I think he says these hurtful things just to simply provoke you or maybe even for more attention than you already give him. It's not healthy to throw around things as big as "leave my house, you don't make me happy", especially five different times. He obviously isn't very serious or he would have actually left you. Most people don't stick around in unhappy relationships, especially after voicing it, multiple times at that. But the fact that he won't allow you to express your thoughts and feelings is a major red flag. You need communication for a healthy relationship and right now neither of you are doing so. You should try to sit down and talk with him and ask if you really don't make him happy and why, or find out what the actual problem is as well as voice your own concerns. If he doesn't put forth the effort just to talk to you then he's not going to try in anything else. I say if you guys can't talk it's time to pack up and leave 2
lilvioletcub Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 Red flags everywhere my gosh. Taking DD/lg out of it it sounds like both of you are finding new things about eachother that are making you miserable. I've been in a relationship for three years myself and usually the fights we have are never on that scale. Really it doesn't sound like you or him are happy anymore you said it yourself "I dont want to continue in a relationship if I feel disrespected and broken down" looking at your age your also very young meaning that if this is how you feel at 18 I don't think it will change when your 25. You can still love someone and realize you are not compatable in any way anymore you both are growing up and going in diffrent derctions his behavor is abusive and minipultive and you shouldn't tollerate that My advice is pack your bags and leave if after 5 fights you haven't changed or worked it out it's time to say goodbye
~*Sweet*Pea*~ Posted October 20, 2015 Author Report Posted October 20, 2015 I just hate that its going like this. We were each others firsts, and we have been through so much together. I love him very dearly. I just wish we could work this out. Ive been trying for a while to hang in there in case it gets better. When we dont fight everything is amazing, but now Im finding it hard to cope. Thank you everyone for your responses.
lilvioletcub Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 I just hate that its going like this. We were each others firsts, and we have been through so much together. I love him very dearly. I just wish we could work this out. Ive been trying for a while to hang in there in case it gets better. When we dont fight everything is amazing, but now Im finding it hard to cope. Thank you everyone for your responses. look at Jhonny depp and his wife they were also eachothers firsts with everything and they got a devorice
Guest buddhagirl Posted October 20, 2015 Report Posted October 20, 2015 I know what it feels like to be young and in love--been there many times. Now let me tell you what I've learned (I'm old now, so I know some stuff)... Real love is easy. If it's hard, he's not the right one. The right person will make life consistently better and easier. If you're with someone that frequently makes you sad, angry, stressed, or generally distracts you from being happy and peaceful, then you're with the the wrong person. Difficult people and difficult relationships DO NOT get better. No matter how hard you work, sacrifice, talk it out, go to counseling, let things go, try to please, be better, be stronger, be more supportive, etc., etc., etc., it will not fix difficult people or difficult relationships. Every day that you waste on the wrong person keeps you longer from being with the right one. Moving on from a relationship is painful! But it is worth it in the end, you owe it to yourself to not waste too much time on the wrong person, and you will get over it. AND you will be SO HAPPY when you do, eventually, find the right person.
Guest MyDaddyMyWorld Posted October 21, 2015 Report Posted October 21, 2015 I know what it feels like to be young and in love--been there many times. Now let me tell you what I've learned (I'm old now, so I know some stuff)... Real love is easy. If it's hard, he's not the right one. The right person will make life consistently better and easier. If you're with someone that frequently makes you sad, angry, stressed, or generally distracts you from being happy and peaceful, then you're with the the wrong person. Difficult people and difficult relationships DO NOT get better. No matter how hard you work, sacrifice, talk it out, go to counseling, let things go, try to please, be better, be stronger, be more supportive, etc., etc., etc., it will not fix difficult people or difficult relationships. Every day that you waste on the wrong person keeps you longer from being with the right one. Moving on from a relationship is painful! But it is worth it in the end, you owe it to yourself to not waste too much time on the wrong person, and you will get over it. AND you will be SO HAPPY when you do, eventually, find the right person. Pretty much all of this. With a cherry on the top.
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now