Am I a Switch?

[Kitten&Spice]

Now I am not a dom in any sense and I have always been submissive. However there is this other part of me that is more of a “power bottom.” I like to be the one to take control and to show the dom who is boss. I want to take care of my dom when I can see that he is unable to play the role at this moment. I like to tease and to play around. And this behavior I just labeled as being a brat.

 

But when I think about things I don’t mind if my partner needs to be treated kindly or to be spoiled. I have even in the past took up temporary caregiver roles when littles were down or when they needed someone there! I just helped them get into little space and did things like read books, give them schedules, do check ins, small things like that for a short time. But no matter what I couldn’t keep it up forever and had to tell some of them that I promised to do it to help but I can’t do it all the time. Most of them were just needed something for one day but I have had to tell a few I didn’t want to be their daddy.

 

I felt awful doing that to them and honestly I felt I lead them on even when I elaborated that I can do it for a day or until they feel better. I am just genuinely confused as to what I am! I don’t know if I am just denying my caregiver side or if I am just doing this as a favor. I know I want to be submissive and to be taken care of more then anything in the world but another part of me knows how I can be a caregiver. I am just really confused and need some advice. Do any of you feel the same way? And what actually makes you a switch?

[Vampiress]

There are different ways to look at this I guess. You could see yourself as a switch that is just maybe a very soft and caring Dom. You could also be a little Dom. It's also possible that you are a brat. Sometimes our Caregivers need aftercare too and it's up to us littles to also look after them and help them when they need it. Sounds like possibly you are a little who would make a good babysitter sometimes, but not something you need or want to do all the time. I guess it depends on which of these resonates with you most and which you think you identify with better.

[Kitten&Spice]

There are different ways to look at this I guess. You could see yourself as a switch that is just maybe a very soft and caring Dom. You could also be a little Dom. It's also possible that you are a brat. Sometimes our Caregivers need aftercare too and it's up to us littles to also look after them and help them when they need it. Sounds like possibly you are a little who would make a good babysitter sometimes, but not something you need or want to do all the time. I guess it depends on which of these resonates with you most and which you think you identify with better.

Thank you! I will definitely look into this! I actually had no idea about the whole babysitter thing until you mentioned it and will definitely look into all those roles you mentioned! That way I can finally say that is it!

[Frost Evergarden]

being a switch is spectrum. you can be on either side or in the middle or both at the same time. I lean towards the daddy side but little at times 

[Guest fhihfidhfd38478]

Now I am not a dom in any sense and I have always been submissive. However there is this other part of me that is more of a “power bottom.” I like to be the one to take control and to show the dom who is boss. I want to take care of my dom when I can see that he is unable to play the role at this moment. I like to tease and to play around. And this behavior I just labeled as being a brat.

 

But when I think about things I don’t mind if my partner needs to be treated kindly or to be spoiled. I have even in the past took up temporary caregiver roles when littles were down or when they needed someone there! I just helped them get into little space and did things like read books, give them schedules, do check ins, small things like that for a short time. But no matter what I couldn’t keep it up forever and had to tell some of them that I promised to do it to help but I can’t do it all the time. Most of them were just needed something for one day but I have had to tell a few I didn’t want to be their daddy.

 

I felt awful doing that to them and honestly I felt I lead them on even when I elaborated that I can do it for a day or until they feel better. I am just genuinely confused as to what I am! I don’t know if I am just denying my caregiver side or if I am just doing this as a favor. I know I want to be submissive and to be taken care of more then anything in the world but another part of me knows how I can be a caregiver. I am just really confused and need some advice. Do any of you feel the same way? And what actually makes you a switch?

 

I've dealt with this same conundrum myself. I really enjoy babysitting other littles and taking on a protective, big brother type role. Personally, I identify as a submissive top -- I like being the one pleasing my partner, and in doing that, doing all the "work." Now, this is a little complicated by my own dysphoria, I don't like being touched intimately most of the time, and I'm also asexual with a relatively low sex drive. I have no drive to be a dominant, or to tell people what to do -- but I enjoy being a mentor. I really identify with the "prince/princess" archetype in that I'm a little on the assertive, bratty side, but most definitely a little and most definitely want a more dominant partner. I can't even tell my partner to kiss me, much less fully take over in the bedroom. Of course there is more to that dynamic, but that's the simplest example. I think if you can't identify as a Dom, then you can't be a switch, but as I've stated before, I am not the baby police! 

 

I really enjoy doing things that make my partner comfortable and happy. I'm fairly service-oriented; I handle our bills and make sure everything is in order, those kinds of things. This may be my "love language" or it might be something I just do because it's a personality trait, but it's intrinsic to who I am as both a little and a person. I don't think that pertains to dominance or submission, I think some people are just more protective or nurturing than others.

 

I can't say that this is what you are feeling, but I thought that my experience might be a good one to bounce off of. I know I'm not a switch, but, maybe one day my identifiers will change! One of my favorite things about this community and lifestyle is the constant growth I experience. It's very freeing not to be tied down to labels forever. 

 

I really hope that's helped a teeny bit! <3