Advice for littles who are depressed

[Terable]

Hi! Since im actually looking for a little again. I thought id ask for some advice on how to communicate and handle depression in a little.

 

I typically give any one with depression my ears if they want to talk. I dont really want to give them too much space because i don't want to make them feel like they're alone.

 

On the flip side, if i depressed, should i feel bad for not being the strong Daddy that my little knows i am?

[WhysperKit]

I typically give any one with depression my ears if they want to talk. I dont really want to give them too much space because i don't want to make them feel like they're alone.

 

Giving them space is important, but yeah, just knowing someone's there to listen is very important. Make sure they know that you aren't bothered to hear about their troubles or anything. Some tend to downplay their own depression thinking others must have it worse than they do. 

 

 

On the flip side, if i depressed, should i feel bad for not being the strong Daddy that my little knows i am?

 

Absolutely not! Though you may be a Daddy, you're a person first outside of your dynamic. Everyone can be bothered by depression, there isn't a rule book that states otherwise. My own Daddy has depression so some days we put our dynamic aside and just tend to his health or vice versa.

[Terable]

Thank you very much for your words. I appreciate you taking the time to help! You've no idea how much more stronger than makes me feel.

[WhysperKit]

Anytime ^^ Depression is an evil little creature but just the fact that you want to know how to help someone already makes you a great Daddy to your Little! 

 

Another thing we do is have a "depression kit". Things that we know helps cheer me up on rough days. Comfy blankets, tv shows/movies, taking a long shower/bath, ordering food in vs cooking, etc. It helps on those days where I'm worse off than usual or when Daddy isn't feeling well. He'll take those days to just veg out on his video games and I make sure he keeps food and drink coming ^^ 

[little-luna]

Depression is a stinky lil bug that doesnt know when its time to go! Finding the balance of accepting/understanding/coping with depression is a journey.

 

Another thing that can be tried is daily affirmations. Just things like "I am worthy" "I am good" etc

Or reminders... like, even if you only made your bed today, you did something productive. The little things matter too! (no pun intended hehe)

Distractions now and again are good too!

These are just my ideas...(they are not strictly for one group of course)

 

Hope it can help (:

[Guest Dandy Blob]

If they are having trouble (or you...anyone!) with basic daily tasks just add a different twist to them.

 

Need to shower/wash up: sit in the bath or have a bath instead. Sit under the stream of water in the shower if you can't be bothered to stand. Dry shampoo!

 

Eating: On good days, make some premade freezer meals (google has so many) that you just need to dump into a pot/pan/whatever and heat up. Or too hard to make yourself a sandwich...just eat the sandwich pieces separately, who says they have to be all in the sandwich? You can eat meat & cheese and bread on their own. Don't force meals, snack when you are hungry or when you know you need to eat. Don't beat yourself over eating a bit unhealthy or at weird times.

 

Self-talk: when depressed it's easy to spiral...so anytime negative self-talk comes into your head stop it and think or say to yourself "this isn't helpful for me right now" or "this isn't true"...it takes a while to become a habit but can be really helpful once your brain makes the connections.

 

Just my thoughts on things that help me & I know have helped others.

[Vampiress]

Depression in a little: Compassion is very important always when handling anyone with depression. Opt to listen instead of offering unsolicited advice (this is a hard habit for most people). Ask them what they need, and if they can't think of anything just be there for them. Sometimes all a person needs is just to know there's someone who cares and is listening. Don't try to take over the conversation and make it about yourself (some people do this a lot). Use supportive language and if they need distraction try to offer it if you can. Something I find very unhelpful is when I'm reaching out and clearly need someone or want help and the response is something like "should I leave you alone" or "maybe you should go to bed." It feels very dismissive to me or like the person really doesn't want to bother.

 

Depression in yourself: Every person in this dynamic should know that every role can go through a drop or a depression and it's OKAY. Dom drop is a real thing, and even if it isn't the result of sex or a scene it's still okay to not always feel 100%. It is not the Dominant's job to be strong all the time. Sometimes the little has to be the one to be strong and be their for their Caregiver. It goes both ways, it should never be restricted to only one person being allowed to experience the full spectrum of feelings. However, if you have a little it does help IMMENSELY to actually communicate that something is going on and let them know what you need. Just as they need to communicate with you, you also need to communicate with them. I've seen so many Daddies/Doms just suddenly act completely different because there's something bothering them and they don't tell the little so the little gets confused, hurt, and feels rejected. It isn't too much of an effort to just be like, "I'm feeling down today and I need a little space or will you just hug me for a while" or whatever it is you're comfortable with. A little should always be much more understanding and able to cooperate with simple communication.

[Guest Dandy Blob]

I thought of something else that can be useful & a potentially very fun project for a little.

 

Have them make a mental health toolbox (I have heard them called other things can't but can't think of the name right now). The goal of the box is to have a bunch of things that you can use when you are struggling with your mental health. You can add in anything you want & anything you think would be useful. Bubble gum, essential oils or something scented that calms you down, a small stuffie, some candies or sweets, a journal, maybe a positive note to yourself, fidget spinner, playdough, colouring book/pages, a story book that you love, a small candle, a princess puzzle...honestly anything!

 

The fun part is that you get to collect a bunch of small things & stuff them into the box...and THEN YOU CAN DECORATE THE BOX (if you want). Which I think could be pretty fun. I am actually thinking of making one for myself.

 

[Lollipox]

I thought of something else that can be useful & a potentially very fun project for a little.

 

Have them make a mental health toolbox (I have heard them called other things can't but can't think of the name right now). The goal of the box is to have a bunch of things that you can use when you are struggling with your mental health. You can add in anything you want & anything you think would be useful. Bubble gum, essential oils or something scented that calms you down, a small stuffie, some candies or sweets, a journal, maybe a positive note to yourself, fidget spinner, playdough, colouring book/pages, a story book that you love, a small candle, a princess puzzle...honestly anything!

 

The fun part is that you get to collect a bunch of small things & stuff them into the box...and THEN YOU CAN DECORATE THE BOX (if you want). Which I think could be pretty fun. I am actually thinking of making one for myself.

 

I like your brain, it tasty ^^

I call it a Box of Happies lol

———

 

Another thing that’s helpful is writing down what makes you happy on days when you’re actually feeling better about life. Movies, TV Shows, Activities, Music (nothing sad), Noms and so on. And write reminders to yourself, things that you know you’re gonna need to hear when you’re back in your pit of crippling despair.

Then look over it on your poopy days. Because it can be really hard to remember anything you ever enjoyed when you’re barely dragging yo’ booty out of bed.

[LilDemonBaby]

On 9/9/2020 at 11:51 AM, Guest Dandy Blob said:

I thought of something else that can be useful & a potentially very fun project for a little.

 

Have them make a mental health toolbox (I have heard them called other things can't but can't think of the name right now). The goal of the box is to have a bunch of things that you can use when you are struggling with your mental health. You can add in anything you want & anything you think would be useful. Bubble gum, essential oils or something scented that calms you down, a small stuffie, some candies or sweets, a journal, maybe a positive note to yourself, fidget spinner, playdough, colouring book/pages, a story book that you love, a small candle, a princess puzzle...honestly anything!

 

The fun part is that you get to collect a bunch of small things & stuff them into the box...and THEN YOU CAN DECORATE THE BOX (if you want). Which I think could be pretty fun. I am actually thinking of making one for myself.

 

That sounds fun and stimulating! i should try that!