Why do people have DDLG kink?

[Guest My_daddy_calls_me_princess]

I just wonder what explains this psychologically, I have never thought about this with so much thought. Disclaimer: just openly wondering, and only wondering about my own self + note, I really love this kink so it's not like I am seeking help to solve it and get rid of it by writing this post here. Just so everyone knows.

 

 I have been thinking, that might it be because I kind of grew up without any parents between the ages of 15-18. Me and my mom lived together just the 2 of us starting a bit before I turned 16. My mom was away from home all the weekends and I was completely alone. And, I have never even met my father.  I often felt so lonely.

 

Just was thinking today that why I am a middle, I relate to the ages of being 14-16 (certain own kind of moods are related to these ages) when playing with Daddy. Such important ages to go through without getting certain type of emotional support and love and lot of weird things happened when I was a teenager and started to date. I had terrible boyfriends and no parents to really step up and protect me.
Adding to this frustration an intense sexual drive I had as a teenager... So is this the personality I return to literally when playing with Daddy, me as a  lonely teenager? I just think it would explain a lot of details of what I like and what things I like to hear. Me hearing Daddy say that he's proud of me and I am good enough is a biiiiiig turn on, and that I am the only one Daddy wants.

 

What do you think? And I would love to hear your own stories too <3

Edited August 28, 2020 by My_daddy_calls_me_princess

[Guest Vampire]

It's different for everyone I think, psychology is a complex matter and I wouldn't be able to really say what stuff makes you act a certain way as there's lots of factors going into it and a lot of it is subconcious and subconcious stuff is difficult to link with a cause. A controversial opinion about this whole topic comes from freud and jung. These are psychoanalysts that are to this day cited a lot in psychology courses. They do not particularly explain your situation but they did research and came to the concept of "father complex" I myself am not well informed enough on the topic though so that's all I can really say, Maybe it's linked, maybe not, that's for you to decide, maybe you can do some reading into that if you are interested. Sorry for this vague answer it is definitely an interesting topic but quite complex.

Edited September 3, 2020 by Vampire

[junebug0325]

Heya! 

 

So, I know this is a weird thing to say but I've personally thought about this quite a bit. I think the reason that I've thought about it so much is because I participate in both Age Regression and Age Play (separately). I participate in DDLG as a kink but I also have non-sexual age regression that for the most part is involuntary. 

 

For my age regression, it comes from a terribly abusive situation I encountered from infancy to about age 7, and that's were my head goes when I regress. I typically say that my "little age" is 2-6 and I think it's because of this trauma I experienced growing up. Age regression really helps me cope with the trauma from my past, and actually helps me have good experiences in place of my past trauma. 

 

I was thinking about the reason why my Daddy would be in it, and he says he's not really sure, so I would like to see what other Caregivers say is regards to why they're into this kink. I would love to see their perspective!

 

 

 

 

Junebug x 

[Vampiress]

It's hard to give an answer to this because it's different for everyone. Sure some people might have what others call "Mommy issues" or "Daddy issues" because of their parents, but I know there are people in this lifestyle who have wonderful relationships with their parents and that they are into this for very different reasons, so it's not fair to narrow it down to one or two things like that. Unfortunately, for people outside of the lifestyle the common assumption is mommy/daddy issues or something more sinister like interest in children, even though that's not what it's about at all. We have to be very careful to not generalize or stereotype here.

 

As for myself, I think I was not really allowed to be a kid much when I actually was a kid. I had to deal with a lot of adult things and even though I can come across very mature in my daily life there are parts of me that just never "grew up" I guess. When looking into DD/lg I saw a lot of myself in this lifestyle. I love stuffies, I still like kids movies, I like toys, and so much more about it... but most of all I love the dynamic between a little and their caregiver. I really crave that kind of closeness, intimacy, and trust. There is a lot in the dynamic that just seldom exists in vanilla relationships. Also as someone who was and is into BDSM I also enjoy the power exchange dynamic and other things in the lifestyle. I did deal with a lot of abuse growing up from both of my parents and a couple of step fathers of mine, but I honestly don't feel that relates to my interest in DD/lg at all considering I harbor very negative feelings towards these people and avoided DD/lg most of my adult life because it weirded me out due to these people in my life and I did not understand the kink... more like heavily misunderstood it and held some really negative judgments against it.

Edited December 24, 2020 by Vampiress

[Lollipox]

It seems like a very small window of time that you’re talking about, for it to affect you so much that it’s the catalyst for your kink.

 

Even if someone has gone through trauma, it doesn’t mean that’s why they’re into the lifestyle, they may just be attracted to it and like it because they just do even if trauma never occurred.

There’s not always deep meaning behind peoples interests and fetishes. People are complex animals and we often find meaning where there isn’t any, and overcomplicate things.

 

Besides, it may just be that you enjoy being praised/appreciated/acknowledged- a lot of people do. There are a lot of elements that a Caregiver provides that people enjoy and experience in a healthy vanilla relationship, just not on an accentuated scale.

[daddymind]

Just was thinking today that why I am a middle, I relate to the ages of being 14-16 (certain own kind of moods are related to these ages) when playing with Daddy. Such important ages to go through without getting certain type of emotional support and love and lot of weird things happened when I was a teenager and started to date. I had terrible boyfriends and no parents to really step up and protect me.

Adding to this frustration an intense sexual drive I had as a teenager... So is this the personality I return to literally when playing with Daddy, me as a  lonely teenager? I just think it would explain a lot of details of what I like and what things I like to hear. Me hearing Daddy say that he's proud of me and I am good enough is a biiiiiig turn on, and that I am the only one Daddy wants.

 

What do you think? And I would love to hear your own stories too <3

 

This is exactly like my babs.

 

I do think a lot about this. And as a daddy figure, there are some very uncomfortable thoughts that arise regarding the sexual side of it. I think that's why I take on a more submissive role as a daddy, because giving her control when in her little or middle space makes it feel less like a violation of someone deeply vulnerable and rooted in a neglected/abusive past. I can be dominant, but I feel a LOT of shame after being sexually dominant. I know there is a desire for a lot of littles to be dominated and it has a therapeutic effect for them. But as a daddy I just cannot resist giving her the control she never had in her life. I'm lucky to have met a little who values and relishes that control and seizes it so freely and naturally. I'm lucky that she doesn't crave spankings or heavy discipline, because I would probably feel like a reincarnation of the beast that was her father. So I've given her a lot of control over daddy. My orgasms (I wear a chastity cage and she decides when I'm released), my obedience to her demands (with limits!), decision making, and when she wants to be dominated. The more time goes on, and the more I see her flourish as the Princess she is, the more control I want to give her.

 

It's the most exhilarating dynamic I could wish for.

[BabyDaisy81]

In my case it’s because I’ve been been abused and when I met my daddy I felt his nurturing side and I came to life.. I’m mentally ill and incapable of dealing with the adult world without my little self..

[Guest My_daddy_calls_me_princess]

It seems like a very small window of time that you’re talking about, for it to affect you so much that it’s the catalyst for your kink.

 

Even if someone has gone through trauma, it doesn’t mean that’s why they’re into the lifestyle, they may just be attracted to it and like it because they just do even if trauma never occurred.

There’s not always deep meaning behind peoples interests and fetishes. People are complex animals and we often find meaning where there isn’t any, and overcomplicate things.

 

Besides, it may just be that you enjoy being praised/appreciated/acknowledged- a lot of people do. There are a lot of elements that a Caregiver provides that people enjoy and experience in a healthy vanilla relationship, just not on an accentuated scale.

I did also grew up without a father and didn't ever really have healthy male role models in my life, except for one distant one. It has been only in my adult life that i have met safe men properly. 

 

I like to ponder upon this topic, because I am always interested in learning how the mind works, and we all have such unique minds here.

[Guest BrieNN]

I think that's a great topic to think about. I've thought about it and there seem to be many different sources that led me here. I'll try to write something concise and post it here later.

[Kitten&Spice]

I think that there is not ever going to be a solid “that is it!” reason for why people enjoy and take interest in DDLG and even other kinks! Of course by what you explained about how you lost your parents at the age you tend to regress to it would make sense as to why you chose that age! Especially since you had to grow up at that moment and maybe even had to start protecting yourself more! Of course there can be other causes for that decision and it might also be one of the times in your life when you finally found yourself!

 

Just like any other kind of kink not everyone will have the same answer as to why they have taken interest in those kinks. I promise if you ask people why they like it people will always come up with some kind of reason that won’t always match another person! For instance some may say they do it to forget their responsibilities. Some do it as a way to gain back what they never had. Some do it to release stress and to help their anxiety! The options are endless!

 

I think the psychology behind it is both simple and complex at the same time. We all know; for the most part, that we love/admire this kink and yet we can’t always explain why in the same breath. Some things just happen! I guess my best way to explain it is “people like ice cream but not everyone’s favorite ice cream is the same.” We can sit here and try to explain why it is our favorite but in the end all we can say, “it just is.”

[Guest BrieNN]

The most concise way I can say it, is that I feel like I lost my innocence way too soon, not in the best way and in such a way that it was taken from me. Then, I ended up taking it away from myself some more.

 

It's like now I want that innocence to be acknowledged, to be cherished but my way, when I want and how I want it. Which would translate into being a dominant little.

[RosieReal]

I like it.... because it's fun and I refuse to get old!

Be spontaneous and love hard✌️

[Arlene-is-mean]

A lot of times it comes from abuse/ trauma