How do most people find their little/cg? Experiences telling people in real life?

[Tommy37]

So I know there is this website and such, but I was wondering what most people do to find their partner? I also heard that some people just go and start dating, and then just tell them later down the road. I wanted to know your experiences since this scares me half to death >~<

[princess cotton grass]

finding partners in ddlg spaces is better in my opinion because telling people is scary!

[baby_k]

How I have found daddies:

1. online, sites like this

2. normal dating sites but I had written that I was looking for daddy there ( not super successful way tbh in my experience. You get lot of creeps and dudes wanting to explore something kinky they otherwise wouldn't have the courage to )

3. normal dating sites without saying anything about bdsm or little stuff ( this then again has worked supricingly well: I seem to naturally attract daddy-types )

 

I think it depends on how much of a daddy one wants/needs. I'm okay with just more caring and dominant man, doesn't need to be daddy, so it's easy to date in vanilla world. Many men seem to have lot of daddy tendencies in my experience but that may tell more about the types I attract.

 

 

NOTE: I tell the dudes pretty fast about these tendencies of mine. They deserve to know as soon as possible as it could in theory be a show stopper for them. Thou, everytime they have been just excited and interested about it ( bit scared sure too but mainly it has been really positive thing for them even they have had no experience/knowledge of the topic )

 

However, if one wants something really extreme and can't wait the other one to learn, then maybe the vanilla world is not that great choice.

[Guest BrieNN]

I think it depends on how much of a daddy one wants/needs. I'm okay with just more caring and dominant man, doesn't need to be daddy, so it's easy to date in vanilla world.

I think that's a pretty good point. Some people do have characteristics of a caregiver or little/middle/etc, just don't call themselves that. So that's something worth exploring.

Just recently I read about a woman who found what she was looking for on OKc, more based on the qualities she was wanted/needed in a man(and I'm assuming kinks as well, although she didn't specify this), yet the man certainly didn't see himself as or call himself a submissive.

 

That's something to keep in mind. And I tell myself this as well, actually.

 

Overall, I agree with baby_k

[Vampiress]

Okay so the best way is to look in the community with people who want the same thing as you as long as you're careful, don't move too fast, and avoid the people who are clearly just looking to use you. Make sure the interest is genuine.

 

HOWEVER. It's totally possible to find this kind of relationship outside the community.  This is a harder road but it can be rewarding if you find the right person who is willing to try it out. Sometimes you'll find someone who fits into the lifestyle so well and would've never known had they not met you.

 

I'd be careful telling just anyone. The other day I saw a twitter post about normalizing calling a female partner "Mommy" like how some women call their male partner "Daddy." The absolute hate, horror, and disgust was a huge reminder to me that you absolutely cannot be that open about it UNLESS you are ready and willing to deal with the negativity. I have been banned from an online chatroom for saying I was a little. There's a lot of places that are bdsm and kink friendly but still very anti-DDlg/CGl. This is due to three things. We have predators in the community who prey on minors, we have people in the community who fetishize incest, and also some people just don't understand DD/lg and think it's about sexualizing children when it's not. Every time you tell someone who isn't already in the community you run the risk of these negative reactions so be careful and don't do so unless you're sure you can handle a bad reaction.

Edited December 24, 2020 by Vampiress

[Tommy37]

I just looked at the twitter post, and I see what you are talking about. I think the guy did it as a joke, and it got people this mad. Yeah I heard telling people after you start dating is the best way, but just getting any of these reactions would ruin me. Idk why there is such a stigma against littles. It just feels extra hard trying to be a male little.

[Vampiress]

I just looked at the twitter post, and I see what you are talking about. I think the guy did it as a joke, and it got people this mad. Yeah I heard telling people after you start dating is the best way, but just getting any of these reactions would ruin me. Idk why there is such a stigma against littles. It just feels extra hard trying to be a male little.

 

Yeah I don't think he was seriously interested it, but the reaction was extremely sobering and a stark reminder to be careful to those of us who are actually into it. I wouldn't recommend anyone else going to seek out this twitter post if they're super sensitive to that kind of negativity, though.

[baby_k]

I'd be careful telling just anyone. The other day I saw a twitter post about normalizing calling a female partner "Mommy" like how some women call their male partner "Daddy." The absolute hate, horror, and disgust was a huge reminder to me that you absolutely cannot be that open about it UNLESS you are ready and willing to deal with the negativity.

Now I'm curious of that tweet but no clue how to find it XD

 

It's true that one should be careful even has never been an issue to me bt then again: I won't go into those topics before I think I can somehow trust the other person, and know them at least a bit.

 

However, I always tell the dudes it via "I have this kink but would require a LOT more discussions", and then eventually "it's called ddlg but do NOT google as you will find all sort of weird crap that has nothing to do with my likes, and this stuff anyhow is not absolute necessity for me". So, playing it down a bit but that helps to keep the other persons reactions small as if they find something creepy, they donät have to connect that immediately to me. I also won't push stuff on them but more like "if you want to know more, I can explain". When people ask stuff themselves, they are imo way more open. In some ways could say I'm acting coy with my sexual and other needs which makes the dude get interested and more willing to listen.  <- these just as hint for others

[Vampiress]

Now I'm curious of that tweet but no clue how to find it XD

 

It's true that one should be careful even has never been an issue to me bt then again: I won't go into those topics before I think I can somehow trust the other person, and know them at least a bit.

 

However, I always tell the dudes it via "I have this kink but would require a LOT more discussions", and then eventually "it's called ddlg but do NOT google as you will find all sort of weird crap that has nothing to do with my likes, and this stuff anyhow is not absolute necessity for me". So, playing it down a bit but that helps to keep the other persons reactions small as if they find something creepy, they donät have to connect that immediately to me. I also won't push stuff on them but more like "if you want to know more, I can explain". When people ask stuff themselves, they are imo way more open. In some ways could say I'm acting coy with my sexual and other needs which makes the dude get interested and more willing to listen.  <- these just as hint for others

 

NSFW and big trigger warning for anyone who is really sensitive or can't handle the criticism: https://twitter.com/HarrisHeller/status/1290843771752468481

I really do not recommend anyone reading it unless they can handle some harsh criticisms of the community.

[Bearly]

Being friends with littles means that I can treat them little. My platonic little is an old friend from before either of us found this scene.

[LittleCinder]

I found my Daddy by accident! On a really filthy roleplaying site full of toxic people xD we were both so out of place it was like a giant spotlight. Two moths to a flame! We met through our characters first and had some crazy fun kinky times but then it turned into a hey can I have your Discord and here we are. It's LDR which is grumpy sad but there's enough love I think I can make it until that changes.

The good part about it is the website lets you fill out a profile for your character that lists kinks you're interested in, so we already kinda knew we were sexually compatible (and he knew about my Dd/lg tendencies) even though we started as friends.

Edited August 31, 2020 by LittleCinder

[RainDoeSprinkles]

Daddy and I met at church!! He admired the gentle and kind way I related to the little kids as I was volunteering in Sunday School. He was naturally drawn to my childlike qualities. We started out as friends and got to know each other in group settings for awhile before going out together just the two of us. We have just celebrated our 24 year wedding anniversary!

Since I have never tried to hide my true self, it was no surprise to him when I told him about DDlg almost a year ago, and let him know I discovered that I am a little!  To my great relief, he accepted my "coming out", and took to our roles quite naturally.   Due to me being little by nature, our dynamic is 24/7.  DDlg has done a lot to improve our marriage!

Edited September 6, 2020 by RainDoeSprinkles

[Daddy B]

My little (wife) and I met at a BDSM party thrown to celebrate a mutual friend's graduation. At the time we were both in M/s relationships, both as slaves. We both were a bit rebellious in said relationships and quickly developed a friendship. A little less than a year later, we decided to leave the BDSM lifestyle and begin a life together. I have always had MAJOR CG characteristics, even when a slave.  We married a year after moving in together and have been married 7 years. We've always played around the edges of DDlg without knowing what/how/why/etc.  It comes naturally to us as there's a 25 year age difference between us.  I was in grad school 80 miles away  from her as she was being born  (freaks us out a little if we start thinking about it too much).  Just last week, she asked me if we could start a DDlg relationship and call me Daddy. At that moment, I knew what we'd been dancing around and agreed to formalize our Daddy/little girl dynamic.

 

We tell people we met at a friend's graduation party. Don't feel the necessity to fill in other pertinent details.   

[WhysperKit]

I met Daddy at a job we had together a few years back. We started dating and one night, just outta the blue, I threw out, "Ya know, I really like dominant guys." and it was just a slippery slope from there! When I brought up dynamics and DDLG, he took it in stride. He researched stuff and talked to me about it and we found a way that we liked things.

[LeanBlaster]

My previous little actually came from my past facebook page called caregiver's different big world, were i would post whatever i wanted, liked and memes, and i ended up adding the person because they were so nice and they were THE CUTEST and we ended up being friends, i supported them on their bad times and struggles and end up being their daddy but they never wanted to be on a relationship with me, i was literally just behind the scenes on anyone that knew them :c but by that i want to tell that sometimes it just happen!

[Little kaiya]

[Bearly]

So this happened the other day with a close friend (CF).

 

CF: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: I'll be.... exploring my little side on Friday and having a toy day.

CF: Ooh can I join?

Me: Nonono I'm too embarrassed.

CF: OK well let me know if you are ever open to it. I'd love to play caregiver and I got little vibes from you last time.

Me: That sounds fun, in the future.

Me (an hour later): OK come over Friday.

 

So that friend is happy to play caregiver for me now.

[WhysperKit]

So this happened the other day with a close friend (CF).

 

CF: What are you doing this weekend?

Me: I'll be.... exploring my little side on Friday and having a toy day.

CF: Ooh can I join?

Me: Nonono I'm too embarrassed.

CF: OK well let me know if you are ever open to it. I'd love to play caregiver and I got little vibes from you last time.

Me: That sounds fun, in the future.

Me (an hour later): OK come over Friday.

 

So that friend is happy to play caregiver for me now.

 

Aw that so sweet of them!

[kittenbabycupcake]

Soooo my daddy and I happened to find each other by chance. We met on a dating website and talked for FOREVER. He actually scared me quite a bit early on with his dominant tendencies, and we talked it out and I realized I am very, very submissive. We didn't really discuss DDlg until about six months into marriage. I suddenly told him that's who I was, how I felt, (it happened uh during a really naughty time I called him daddy and we talked about it). He eagerly jumped on it, told me that's how he'd felt and what he'd always wanted.

 

When we met, I considered myself to be a switch, didn't like being dominated particularly, I worked in a stressful career and hated it.

 

Now, I am very happily a submissive, traditional wife who loves to regress and be myself in my safe, happy little house.