Overwhelmed and trying to be me.

[TealPinkie]

I've spent most of my life being who everyone else wants me to be. I've always been different, weird, or childish. I'm married with 2 kids. My husband wants me to be who I am, not who others want me to be. An through the process I've discovered I'm a little. My husband has always been more in charge an a caregiver in our relationship. An I don't know how to explain what I want without the stereotypes that you find online. We have 2 younger kids an I try to balance being a mom and a little. I do alot of activities with my kids, coloring, dolls, dress up. I just feel so lost on everything an feeling very overwhelmed.

[princess cotton grass]

although not myself, there are lots of daddies and littes who have children! it is a lot more common than you think. maybe make a specific post asking for advice from them. i have no experience in this though i wish i could help more !

 

 

[Guest BrieNN]

I don't know if that could help, but you could look at all those stereotypes you've seen and go through them one by one, to get an idea of what you'd like instead or if there are some that you can relate to.

Something someone else advised (not on here) was to imagine a day in the life and see what comes up. It doesn't have to be what you'd lie every single day, but it would be a good starting point.

 

I hope that helps.

[Guest Dandy Blob]

I think if you are overwhelmed it might be something you just need to take a little bit slower.

 

Start slow, try a few things here & there and see what works for you. It may help to even write down things you want to try/do and then write down what you thought of the experience afterwards, so you have a visual way of seeing what is working for you & what isn't. I really enjoyed BrieNN's idea too of the 'day in the life', it could help give you a good starting point to go from and then you can branch out slowly when you are feeling less overwhelmed.

[MarshmallowMadz]

I dont know what it's like to be into ddlg and have kids (or be a parent at all really) but I do understand the feeling of wanting to be yourself but also please others. Its hard especially when you've been a people pleaser for so long . Also i totally get what you mean, the stereotypes made me struggle for about a year before I admitted wanting a ddlg lifestyle to my husband and myself. But you can pick and choose what you what to do/be, not every ddlg relationship is the same. And at some point you have to accept that you cant be what everyone else wants you to be. You gotta do what makes you happy! And it sounds like your husband is an understanding guy who wants you to be happy too. Be open with him. Though I also I agree I think if you feel overwhelmed you should take things a lil bit at a time. Theres no rush, just dont let others discourage you. Do what makes you happy.

[Nymph]

I am 37 married and have a child, hubby (my Daddy) is a lot like your husband who just wants me to be who I am, which is a little (middle to be specific!) and you know what? it is awesome, because that means he loves the true you!

 

If you don't quite know who the real you is, then why not explore it with him? I don't know what you have been reading and what is a stereotype by your standards, but if you look around you will find the community pretty flexible and open, there is no right or wrong way to do it, only what works for the both of you.

 

However if you are still feeling a bit shy and want to explore on your own first then I would say just make friends here in the forums and get to know other littles so you get a peek into their world and see what you would be interested in trying out. Being a mom sometimes just makes it easier honestly, you don't need to excuse toys around the house, it doesn't sound weird if you slip and call him daddy in public (people assume you are talking in third person for your child) and you get playmates XD

[Vampiress]

It's great that your husband is supportive! That truly helps a lot on this journey of discovering who you are as a little. You don't have to worry about the world outside your home, it's not their business if you identify as a little. The only things we littles have to be careful about is not showing off our lifestyle in a blatant fashion in front of others who haven't consented to be a part of it (like using a paci in public). I do believe this applies to one's own children as well, but innocent things like coloring and playing with their toys with them are totally fine because non-ddlg parents also do that with their kids to spend time with them. As others said, you should take it slow and explore different things. Maybe make some little friends here who can help you out and guide you.

[TealPinkie]

I'd like to thank everyone for their responses. After talking more to my husband we've figured out a good routine that works for us. Thank you all for being supportive.