Daddy is poly :o

[littlefluttershy]

Hello everybody! n_n

I have an issue and I do not know if I should be feeling this way

I am in my first DDLG relationship and he lives far far far away from me! Daddy has been poly in the past, taking more than 1 little/sub in however, I have told him that I do not feel comfortable and it will upset me if he is poly with me. However, last night I asked him about it again and he said that yes, in the future, he will be taking in another little. Daddy said it is his nature and I do not know what to do. It upsets me because it makes me feel like I am not enough for Daddy and I do not think I can cope knowing that he is loving, spending time and having playtimes with another little. I do not wish to leave Daddy because Daddy is the nicest man alive and I love the way he treats me but at the same time, I know that I wouldn’t be able to change Daddy’s mind about being poly and I also do not think I should because then, I am being selfish. I think the only choice is for me to tell Daddy that maybe, we will not be together forever and I am scared to tell him this. Am I being wrong? Should I try being in a poly before making this decision? I am very sad!

[Alaskan Daddy]

HI

Your daddy has been honest with you and told you who he is and what he desires in life. You are not being selfish to want your daddy for yourself. Those are your real feelings just as your daddy's real feelings about wanting to be poly. Remember your feelings are important also and I feel that being honest with your daddy about how you feel is the best thing you can do for the relationship. I know your heart will feel better for tell him your honest feelings. 

Just by reading your words I don't think your heart will ever change about how you feel about sharing your daddy.  But only you will know if you can that. Usually your first feelings about something like this is how you really feel inside your heart. I would have a heart to heart talk with yourself to see if you really think you would ever want or ever could  share your daddy. I know this is hard. I hope my words help you

[Little kaiya]

Being polyamorous is not something that is for everyone and that's totally ok. It isn't really something that you "try to become" it's just who someone is in their heart. When someone who isnt polyamorous tries to change who they are to be with someone who is polyamorous it rarely works out to be honest.

 

You need to be true to who you are and allow your partner to do the same. It sounds like a fundamental incompatibility but that something you and your partner need to discuss and decide.

[Guest BrieNN]

I've been in situations where I pretty much wanted and tried to change aspects of me so as not to lose someone. It didn't end well because I went against who I was. I hurt myself more than anything. And hurt the other people in the process because I pretty much lied to them about who I was. Who I showed them, wasn't me and that hurt them.

 

I would say, really think about what it is that you want in a relationship. Try to answer that question, not with him in mind. But in general, for you. Also try to figure out for yourself, why you want what you want. It could help in talking about it with him.

 

I wouldn't say try being a poly would help - of course, that's your choice - but having a conversation with him about what could happen IF you were to try.

 

For example, what would make it easier for you? What kind of reassurance would you need to feel secure in the relationship? Can your Daddy provide that? Can you see any benefit for you (genuine benefit, not what others would find beneficial in a poly situation)? Would you be his primary?

[Guest littlebabyslittlespace]

Honestly, it sounds like it won't work out it's almost like sexuality in a way. If he intends to take on another partner and you aren't comfortable with that, this relationship won't work out and without consent that is cheating. Just because you are aware, doesn't mean it isn't cheating.

[littlefluttershy]

HI

Your daddy has been honest with you and told you who he is and what he desires in life. You are not being selfish to want your daddy for yourself. Those are your real feelings just as your daddy's real feelings about wanting to be poly. Remember your feelings are important also and I feel that being honest with your daddy about how you feel is the best thing you can do for the relationship. I know your heart will feel better for tell him your honest feelings. 

Just by reading your words I don't think your heart will ever change about how you feel about sharing your daddy.  But only you will know if you can that. Usually your first feelings about something like this is how you really feel inside your heart. I would have a heart to heart talk with yourself to see if you really think you would ever want or ever could  share your daddy. I know this is hard. I hope my words help you

Hello! Thank you very much, I really do appreciate all these replies! I will build up the courage to tell Daddy how I feel. I love Daddy a lot and I do not think I would ever want to share Daddy and I think going with it without telling Daddy how I feel honestly, would get messy in the long run. I suppose, this would mean to let him go if being poly makes him happy! Thank you for your words! Giving you the biggest hug! n_n

[littlefluttershy]

Being polyamorous is not something that is for everyone and that's totally ok. It isn't really something that you "try to become" it's just who someone is in their heart. When someone who isnt polyamorous tries to change who they are to be with someone who is polyamorous it rarely works out to be honest.

 

You need to be true to who you are and allow your partner to do the same. It sounds like a fundamental incompatibility but that something you and your partner need to discuss and decide.

Hello Little kaiya! n_n

I did not understand what Daddy meant by it is his nature to be poly but I have now understood it! Thank you, kaiya! I will build up the courage to speak to Daddy about this! I do not wish for it to get messy in the end and I would love for us both to be happy, even if it meant we will not be together! Maybe it is just not fated >n< Thank you for your words, kaiya! Giving you the biggest hug, kaiya! n_n

[littlefluttershy]

I've been in situations where I pretty much wanted and tried to change aspects of me so as not to lose someone. It didn't end well because I went against who I was. I hurt myself more than anything. And hurt the other people in the process because I pretty much lied to them about who I was. Who I showed them, wasn't me and that hurt them.

 

I would say, really think about what it is that you want in a relationship. Try to answer that question, not with him in mind. But in general, for you. Also try to figure out for yourself, why you want what you want. It could help in talking about it with him.

 

I wouldn't say try being a poly would help - of course, that's your choice - but having a conversation with him about what could happen IF you were to try.

 

For example, what would make it easier for you? What kind of reassurance would you need to feel secure in the relationship? Can your Daddy provide that? Can you see any benefit for you (genuine benefit, not what others would find beneficial in a poly situation)? Would you be his primary?

Hello BrieNN! n_n

Thank you for replying, I appreciate it a lot! 

I am sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing. Those questions are very helpful, BrieNN. They'll help me structure it out when I talk to Daddy in a bit! 

Thank you for your words, BrieNN! Giving you the biggest hug, BrieNN! n_n

[littlefluttershy]

Honestly, it sounds like it won't work out it's almost like sexuality in a way. If he intends to take on another partner and you aren't comfortable with that, this relationship won't work out and without consent that is cheating. Just because you are aware, doesn't mean it isn't cheating.

Hello littlebabyslittlespace! n_n

Thank you for being honest! I too do not think this will work out in the long run but I will see what Daddy has to say, in a bit! I did not think of cheating as an element in this situation at all I will bring this up to him too! Thank you little! Giving you the biggest hug, little! n_n