Feeling pressures to be a sexual little..

[quietlittlepixie]

So.. I've been a sexual little before and while I do enjoy aspects of it, I find sexualizing children's things and being in that childlike headspace to be wrong.

 

My daddy doesn't force me to be sexual in little space and is okay with it. But sometimes I feel pressured to change my mind and just conform to what most daddys want..

 

I dont know. Him and I have had a lot more issues than just that, but this is just been something that keeps resurfacing in my brain.

 

I know that little space doesn't have to be sexual, but I feel like I'm the oddball out of the community who doesn't want it that way. And its made me feel like I dont belong because of it.

 

Just my thoughts..

[Alaskan Daddy]

I have chatted with many littles and you are not alone. Lots of littles are not sexual in little space.

You belong in this community. Your wants and desires need to be respected, especially when it comes to sex. If you feel

pressured to do something sexual and it is not what you want you need to be brave and voice you feelings. Everything sexual

in any relationship needs to be mutual. I know it can be hard for some littles because these so called 'daddy's' will try

to shame you to believe that you are less then you are. Some littles are in a fragile emotional state and these so called

'daddy's' will try to take advantage of that for their own sexual pleasure. My advice to you is to be true to who you are.

You will feel better about yourself if you do that. You are not an 'oddball'. You are the perfect little for who you are in

your heart. I am not dismissing any feelings you have because I know those feelings are real. Just know that you have

many people in this community who will give you support and encouragement. I hope my words have helped you feel better

about yourself.

[DerbyNerd]

So.. I've been a sexual little before and while I do enjoy aspects of it, I find sexualizing children's things and being in that childlike headspace to be wrong.

 

My daddy doesn't force me to be sexual in little space and is okay with it. But sometimes I feel pressured to change my mind and just conform to what most daddys want..

 

I dont know. Him and I have had a lot more issues than just that, but this is just been something that keeps resurfacing in my brain.

 

I know that little space doesn't have to be sexual, but I feel like I'm the oddball out of the community who doesn't want it that way. And its made me feel like I dont belong because of it.

 

Just my thoughts..

You're defiantly not an oddball. I'd recommend having a grown up conversation with your daddy and making sure those boundaries are firmly in place and let him know you need the reassurance that he is happy with things as they are. 

 

There is plenty of room to be sexual outside of your little space. 

 

Also I love your avatar pic! I love that comic

[Vampiress]

I have chatted with many littles and you are not alone. Lots of littles are not sexual in little space.

You belong in this community. Your wants and desires need to be respected, especially when it comes to sex. If you feel

pressured to do something sexual and it is not what you want you need to be brave and voice you feelings. Everything sexual

in any relationship needs to be mutual. I know it can be hard for some littles because these so called 'daddy's' will try

to shame you to believe that you are less then you are. Some littles are in a fragile emotional state and these so called

'daddy's' will try to take advantage of that for their own sexual pleasure. My advice to you is to be true to who you are.

You will feel better about yourself if you do that. You are not an 'oddball'. You are the perfect little for who you are in

your heart. I am not dismissing any feelings you have because I know those feelings are real. Just know that you have

many people in this community who will give you support and encouragement. I hope my words have helped you feel better

about yourself.

 

Can I just say I appreciate your presence in the community? You're always so positive, helpful, and a big advocate for all the littles, middles, and babies.

[Vampiress]

To respond to the OP, there is nothing wrong with being a non-sexual little. There's a LOT of those. I understand how you might feel like being sexual in littlespace is wrong, your reasoning is the reason I used to hate DD/lg until I understood it better. I think it's only wrong if someone is actually into children, which is of course illegal and those kind of people don't seem welcome in the community at all. However, the rest is kind of an aesthetic I guess? They make coloring books for adults, adult pacis (this can actually help with certain medical conditions), adult diapers, and tons of adults own and buy stuffies and collect toys. A lot of aspects of DD/lg are totally fine and even acceptable to those outside the community. I think where people start thinking it gets super weird or "wrong" to them is when we start calling our Dom/Domme/Caregiver a Mommy or a Daddy and liking to be called little boy, little girl, baby, etc. I don't know, I'm not sure I'm putting this very well. I have a lot on my mind.

[RavenclawPrincess]

I think one thing that might help, although it's certainly easier said than done, is to learn how to be ok with being un-apologetically yourself. The bottom line is that as long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual then you can be however you want to be in your life and within your relationships. There are any number of reasons that someone might say something along the lines of "you're not a REAL little" or "you're not little enough". I am perfectly capable of being sexual in little space and I still hear things like that all the time. But, at the end of the day, why should I care if some random person thinks I'm too independent/smart, too good at helping my friends, too good at functioning as an adult, or whatever other bs I've heard before? Other people's opinions are cute I guess but my identity is mine to label and it's the same for you and every other person within the community. In the grand scheme of things there's always going to be people around that think they know who you are and what you should be doing better than you do, but surely we can all see how ridiculous that even sounds. Your identity is YOURS, not anyone else's. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a non-sexual little, and as a matter of fact there are a lot of them around! You're certainly not alone by any means, I just think that feeling bad about ourselves can creep up and make us feel isolated oftentimes. 

 

If the issue is you feeling like you should be sexual because other littles are, then it's a good time to remind yourself that the only people that need to be pleased by your dynamic are you and your daddy, certainly not anyone else. That is sincerely what matters at the end of the day, so why put up with the pressure (self-inflicted or otherwise) to be the same as other people that aren't even involved in your relationship? You have every right to be comfortable in little space and within your relationship. How you identify within your dynamic is valid, your feelings are valid, your little space is valid, and you don't need to feel bad or sorry about any of that. As long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual you NEVER need to be apologetic for living your life in a way that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. 

[SmolAetherr]

i'm not going to speculate on any aspects of your life, thats not interesting for me or in my eyes a good way to base an opinion in this context but what i will say is

 

everyone fits into ddlg if they want to fit and just because you feel like an "oddball" doesent mean you dont fit, you are amongst other "oddballs" we dont all need to see things the same way to fit in

that's the magic of individuality

 

i will offer some advice, if you feel shamed or pressure to be sexual when you dont want to be then speak up! honestly speaking how can you expect your daddy to accept or even recognise this part of you if you dont speak? but as you said your daddy is ok with it so then we have to look at the possibility that it is a problem you have and maybe you are internalising the idea that you must "tick certain boxes" to be a little which is utter bullshit as i said, we dont all need to like the same things to fit together its the magic of individuality

 

i get the feeling from your post that you are having trouble finding your place or even accepting yourself because you have this feeling you need to be something you arent and that makes you feel wrong, i would suggest some self reflection on what causes this and maybe take some time to accept and love yourself for who you are, like you said your daddy doesent force you or pressure you but you cant expect him to not want something, thats his individuality, the part you need to focus on is that he is not using his individiuality to override yours

 

 

good luck!

Edited July 30, 2020 by Aetherr

[Nymph]

I think you have some soul searching to do, not saying you are imagining things, but usually when you feel like you don't fit in is either because you don't want to, are afraid to or have a very specific mold you feel you must fit into.

 

If your daddy truly is not pressuring you, then you are the one that feels that should be sexual and assuming he wants that.

 

Another possibility is, maybe you actually want to be but it feels wrong. You did talk about it in a pretty negative way. Along those lines, perhaps you are ready to get into it but those other issues are holding you back and it's not so much the being sexual in general but to be sexual with him. Some red flags you can't ignore in the back of your head maybe?

 

Personally, I go in and out of little space all day but since I am a middle is no big deal. I am very sexual either way and it has nothing to do with my little space. At the end of the day all you need to do is be honest with yourself and with your partner, sometimes it takes us a while to realize that what we want is not what we need and after that you still need to find a good balance.

[Guest Daddy Judas]

Never do anything you don't actually want to do. Anyone who tries to force or coerce you is no longer a partner. Always express how you feel in the clearest fashion you can manage.

 

This is a situation in which being "selfish" is the right way to go.