Online DD

[ConfusedLG02]

Hi,

 

I’m hoping someone can help me with my questions. I’m new to the whole DD/Lg situation. I’m currently in a devoted relationship, but I’m missing some aspects to my life. One of those being a DD. My husband really isn’t overly into the whole dirty talk etc. We talked it through and he gave me the okay to have an online thing. I met someone and they really turn me on, but I’m so confused by the way they behave. I ask him questions concerning his other lgs and I’ve even tried to make him jealous. He shuts down and won’t answer any of my questions. Do I have the wrong type of daddy? I guess I don’t understand why he won’t give me anything more. Am I asking too much of what I need??

[RavenclawPrincess]

Open and honest communication is vital to all relationships. On top of that, it sounds to me like you and the Daddy that you're interacting with are not on the same page and I'm seeing the makings of a possibly big compatibility issue that can't be worked around. I think your best bet is to have a sit down with him as two adults on equal ground to discuss each of your respective wants, needs, and expectations from the relationship and from each other. You can move on to negotiating a dynamic that suits both of you from there. If he isn't open to having this conversation, it's very likely that he's just messing around and not sincere in wanting a dynamic with you, and in that case it'll just be best for you to move on and find someone else that 1. sincerely wants a relationship with you and 2. is willing to put in their fair share of time, effort, and honest communication in order to create a good dynamic for the both of you. 

[MissPattch]

i'm a little confused as to why you would want to make somebody jealous... maybe he shuts down because he doesn't want to play those kind of games? Like Ravenclaw Princess said above, its ALWAYS about communication. Its awesome that you feel some chemistry towards this person, but it really does need a conversation to make sure you are both on the same page and working with the same kind of goals in mind. Its not so much about finding the right Daddy as it about finding the right partner. Compatibility is key <3

[Vampiress]

Unless he consented to you making him jealous, then maybe not the best idea to make him jealous. At least talk to him about it, but it might be crossing a boundary of his that makes him super uncomfortable. If he deals with insecurity, jealousy isn't going to help your relationship at all. As far as his other little girls, perhaps he feels each relationship should be kept seperate and doesn't want to cause jealousy between any of you... which would make sense if he hates feeling jealous, too. It sounds like what you're lacking is communication, you two really need to sit down and discuss needs, wants, boundaries, etc.

[ConfusedLG02]

Thank you all for responding. I didn’t care at first, but I wasn’t feeling like he wanted me. Almost like you’re hear because you’re available. I asked him a few questions and didn’t get much back from him. For example, I asked him if he was thinking about me while he was touching himself. He responded back to me: “Does it matter?” My reaction was only to stir some type of feeling in him. Now whether that was wrong of me, I’m not sure.

[RavenclawPrincess]

Thank you all for responding. I didn’t care at first, but I wasn’t feeling like he wanted me. Almost like you’re hear because you’re available. I asked him a few questions and didn’t get much back from him. For example, I asked him if he was thinking about me while he was touching himself. He responded back to me: “Does it matter?” My reaction was only to stir some type of feeling in him. Now whether that was wrong of me, I’m not sure.

 

I have to say, this whole thing sounds rather odd. Honestly, it sounds like he's not interested. That's just based on the information we've been given, and maybe there's other things going on that we don't know about to indicate what's really going on here. If I were in your shoes (and as a response to what we've been told here) I wouldn't do much of anything to seek out his attention or give him much of my attention moving forward. 

[SmolAetherr]

two things i picked up on here, stop trying to make him jealous you are creating an unhealthy relationship

if he shuts down respect his boundaries and stop asking  if he will tell you at all about his other littles it will be on his terms, learn to accept that.

 

 

good luck!

Edited July 14, 2020 by Aetherr

[ConfusedLG02]

Raven - I wondered about that too. It’s always on his terms, but then again maybe he’s looking at me more of a sub than a little. And frankly that might be true. I’m not even sure what I am.

[ConfusedLG02]

Thanks A. Will do.

[Vampiress]

With the bit of extra context you gave, he does sound like he might be disinterested and you might be right in thinking that he keeps you around because you're available. I wonder if he treats all his littles this way and just like having girls around for some reason or another just to use them. If you need more attention in a relationship, then stop giving him yours because he isn't reciprocating. You could do better than someone who barely gives you an affection and doesn't make an effort to meet your needs.

[RavenclawPrincess]

I have to agree with what Vampiress said, it comes off like he's just using you with no intent or interest in any form of mutual satisfaction. It's not cool to try to emotionally manipulate someone by making them jealous intentionally or anything like that, but I don't think he's acting right either. In my opinion, you had best cut ties with him and focus on figuring out your own identity and what you want from a dynamic so you know what to look for next time. That'll go a long way in helping you reach the outcome that you want, just be sure you don't dip your toes into emotionally manipulating or trying to intentionally cause jealousy again. That won't end well and it won't help you reach what you're looking for with a partner.