I think my daddy is toxic?! (Long Rant&Advice?) TRIGGER WARNING- GRAPHIC ABUSE CONTENT

[MostLovingDDevr]

Excuse my French but he is a pathetic ignorant disgraceful piece of shit , literal human garbage and I hope you have gotten yourself out of this “toxic” relationship and environment , and I also hope you have gotten the chance to be the little you strive to be and I hope you are finally able to be yourself and enjoy your DDlg relationship , just in case I am always here to chat and support a little whom I see is in an abusive relationship.

[littleprincessbbw]

Sweetheart - you deserve to have a happy healthy relationship and a happy life.  

 

Get out now.  

 

And actually - Domestic Abuse centres will understand this and not judge you, so please reach out if you need to.  They are trained to understand the difference between consensual and nonconsensual and predators taking advantage.  

[little1grl]

Long rant I’m sorry ): I understand if you don’t respond. Hi! Lately I’ve been trying to get past how my daddy acts but I’m not sure if I can deal with it anymore. I’ll list off certain things and these aren’t in order. Just as they come to mind.

 

1.) Makes me clean up after him, and make every meal, and all the chores. Like literally everything. Vacuum, dishes, make bed, laundry, clean bathrooms, tidy up, dust. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. And he doesn’t help with Any of it. He won’t even put his dishes in the sink, just near it. Won’t even clean one dish. He won’t change the laundry over if he sees it, he’ll ask me to do it. He can’t do any tiny thing, like if he sees something on the ground he won’t pick it up he’ll ask me to. He won’t help me in the kitchen. Like i think it’s cute if we could cook together but he just won’t. And when I do all these things he barely says thank you, or good girl, or compliment me. I feel like his damn mother and it’s the opposite of how I want to feel. He doesn’t like to praise me. He thinks it’s annoying ): not even a kiss or head pets or cuddles. If he does it’s super rare. And when he does it doesn’t seem genuine it seems like he does it so I won’t “bitch” which brings me to 2

 

2. When I try to communicate he gets really irritated. If I don’t get cuddles and I ask and he says no I ask why and he gets mad. Says I’m bitching. If I’m upset for not getting praised he says I’m bitching. If I ask him to move over in bed he gets livid and tells me to stop bitching. If we don’t go out and do stuff and I get upset he tells me to stop bitching. Like every time I try to just talk to him how I feel he HATES it and always says if I don’t like i should just leave. And yells at me and calls me really mean names.

 

3. When he gets mad at me he calls me dumb cunt, dumb bitch, stupid bitch, fat slut, fat whore, and everything in between. Like the other day I was trying to get clear shrimp out of our fish tank(we’ve been trying to get all the clears out) and when he found out he screamed at me and said mean stuff. If I’m having a bad day he’ll yell at me. If I defend myself he yell at me. I’m extremely sensitive and it makes me insanely sad when he says these things. And he doesn’t even care, he wants me to feel this way. He wants me to feel ashamed of myself even if I didn’t deserve it. And when he does bad things god forbid I get mad at him. He doesn’t apologize for shit.

 

4. He doesn’t care for my well being. He never asks me if I ate today. He never gives me cuddles when I’m sad he just finds it annoying. He doesn’t do the same for me as I would do for him. He doesn’t rub my back, doesn’t rub my feet, doesn’t tuck me in at night. Doesn’t let me get sleep. If I’m snoring he’ll push me until I’m up so he can go to sleep. He doesn’t care if I get sleep or not as long as he gets some. When I’m in my monthly he doesn’t do anything special. He doesn’t get me Stuffies on good days. Doesn’t ask if I took a shower that day. Or brushed my teeth. He says I’m only here to please him.

 

5. He doesn’t care about my pleasure or sexual needs. Only his. I’ll literally throw myself at him and he won’t give me attention if he doesn’t feel like it. I’ll ask him to touch my nippies and he’ll play with it for a few seconds before going back to watching tv. He doesn’t finger me or touch me down there. He refuses to eat me out. He doesn’t care if I cum. He doesn’t do cum denial (which I think is sooo sexy) he just literally does not care to put any effort into me. Or my kitty. Like I don’t turn him on. He just likes that I’m there if he gets horny. He doesn’t think it’s hot when I masturbate (which I’m always doing because he won’t touch me) I’ll do little things like lay naked or rub my boobies and it doesn’t phase him. I feel indesirable and not sexy )))):

 

6. He makes me fear him as a way of obeying. Like if I do something wrong, hell cattle prod me, put a shock collar on me, hit me, yell mean things at me. He won’t do sexy punishments like spanks, or no cuddles, or forced deepthroat. He doesn’t make me want to please him. You know? It’s like a cycle. If he made me feel sexy, and like a good girl, and praise me I’d feel more inclined to please him but he’s always getting mad at me and yelling at me which does the opposite.

 

7. When I feed (bj) he doesn’t even look at me. He looks at porn it his game or tv. He barely moans. He doesn’t rub my head or say good girl, or teach me to do it certain ways he likes. And when it takes to long he yells at me (in a bad/mean way)

 

8. I love bdsm but every time we have sex he barely chokes me and holds me down and does the kinky stuff that we both like. He just does missionary or doggy, he cums, lays down. doesn’t ask me if I feel good. Or doesn’t ask for cuddles after..

 

9. There is 0 aftercare. None what so ever. He doesn’t cover me with a blanket after sex. He doesn’t get me water. He doesn’t give me my favorite stuffy. He doesn’t put cartoons on. He doesn’t give me a kiss. He’ll ask me to get him water. And than won’t even ask me if I want some

 

10. He threatens to kick me out every time we have an argument whether it’s big or small. And this hurts because he says he loves me but won’t even think twice about making me leave. Like he doesn’t care if I’m there. He doesn’t try to work things out. Or punish me. Or say sorry. His go to is always , get the fuck out. And he’s done it a few times now.

 

11. He doesn’t let me hang out with friends, but he gets to. If I get invited somewhere he won’t let me go or he’ll give me a ridiculous cerfew. I’ve lost friends because of him. And he doesn’t even care. He says he should be my only friend but I don’t think that’s ok. I wanna go out and have fun but he just won’t let me. He gets mad. If I try and talk to him about compromising at all he starts yelling at me and telling me I can leave (like kicked out).

 

12. Recently he brought a girl over for a threesome and I couldn’t argue because he would’ve kicked me out or yelled at me. So I was kinda forced to do something I was extremely uncomfortable with. He’s always trying to find a third girl. And when I try to bring it up and tell him how uncomfortable I am with sharing him, and him talking to other girls he gets mad and yells or and threatens to kick me out. Am I not good enough?? Why does he need more than one girl to play with. I do everything for him.

 

Literally everything. I’m always making sure he’s fed, happy and pleased. But i never get anything returned. Writing this makes me cry because I just want him to care about me ):

 

13. When I cry either because he makes me (usually by being mean to me) or because I’m having a bad day. He won’t make sure I’m ok. He’ll say “dry it up” and “stop you’re so annoying” or “go upstairs/downstairs” (so he won’t have to hear me). He doesn’t come cuddle me or give me kisses or a stuffy. Or make me feel protected and safe. It genuinely annoys him when I cry.

 

I look past these because he works full time and says that I’m lucky i can just lay around all day and do chores. He says a good baby girl makes sure he’s happy. And if him being happy is all those things I listed than I should be happy because he is. But I just thought daddies were supposed to to do things for their princess to. I stay because he’s my daddy and he says I’m supposed to accept it. But I don’t know if I can. He’ll do little things like take me to get ice cream, or order food so I don’t have to cook, or get me arts and crafts and he’ll do small things but it’s usually for his own benefit or so he doesn’t have to hear me “bitch” anymore. Please don’t tell me to leave because I want to try and work it out. I have been telling him that instead of saying things like “NO IM WATCHING TV NOT EVERYTHING IS FUCKING ABOUT YOU” he can say things like “not right now babygirl maybe later” or things like that. Because again I’m fucking sensitive. And he’s gotten a little better at things I’ve talked to him about, but it’s extremely gradual. (Usually doesn’t seem genuine. Like I wish he did it because he should know better I hate that I have to tell him how to be a daddy) And after being yelled at for trying to talk to him. I wish when he saw me crying (usually fro him)it would break his heart a little bit. I wish he would help me cook, or do some dishes or laundry. I wish he would make sure I came or I feel pleased to. I once tried to get my blankey from the floor when we were sleeping and he punched me over and over and over because I woke him up...I just wanted my blankey )))): I wish he would look online about how to improve his actions but he literally doesn’t care.

OMG he is abusive! Get out before he ruins your self esteem completely! Sounds so scary, I'd never want a man like that. He shocks you when you disobey, makes you fear him? Unless this was negotiated ahead of time and its something you want, (some people do but from your post it definitely sounds like you don't want it) then that sounds extremely abusive.

 

He's not letting you be with friends because he knows that any reasonable friend will spot the abuse and convince you to leave. I didn't have to get far into your list to realize it was abusive.

 

Look up the signs for abuse. He is hitting every one of them.

 

He does not love you. Get out while you can.  GET OUT ASAP!

Edited July 27, 2020 by little1grl

[little1grl]

Thanks you guys for saying that. I know I probably sounded really ignorant typing all that stuff. But I just didn’t know what else to do. I just have so much love to give. And I wanted to believe I was giving it to the right person. I wanted to hope our relationship would change. But I think what you said is what I needed to hear. ): I think maybe I believe I deserved to be treated the way he treats me. Or that no one else will ever love me.

Someone else will love you. This guy doesn't love you at all. You need to believe that, and then find someone who does love you.

 

In the future, look up the signs of abusive men. There are warning signs you can spot even before you live together. (They exist early in the relationship). Study them. Memorize them. Avoid any men who display them like the plague, and never move in with anyone displaying the signs. This will help prevent a repeat of getting involved with the wrong man. Some people who get involved in abusive relationships do have a tendency to fall for abusive men more than once. There are tons of good guys out there, but for some reason certain people pick out the abusive ones. So learn the signs, memorize them, and avoid guys who display them.

Edited July 27, 2020 by little1grl

[Stujw]

Right now, I kind of pushed everyone away because of this relationship so I’ll have to find other ways if I end up deciding to leave him. But yeah that honestly makes total sense and I hope one day I’ll feel confident and worthy /:

Hun please leave him and be happy elsewhere at the moment you can’t be happy with him leave him and report him hell even name and shame him on fb or Twitter 

[Sweetskylark]

I hope you end up out* of this. He doesnt deserve the way you are treating him. Youre doing the most. Above and beyond. It looks like HE wanted someone to take care of HIM. He isnt a daddy. He sounds kinda like a monster . Get out of there girly..</3 Edited July 27, 2020 by Sweetskylark

[Frost Evergarden]

Everything you said indicates that he is a toxic abuser. There is no changing him and you need to get as far away from him as possible before it is too late

[Guest Prat]

I think you knew the answer to your question before you even wrote the post.

 

What I took from your post is that your guy is just lazy, immature and doesn't give a flying f about you or about being a proper Daddy (or bdsm) and you're trying really hard to be a good girl for him and he's just not worth it (apparently from your post) and that's detrimental to your self respect and mental health. You seem like you know what you want and you're giving a LOT and getting nothing (apparently nothing) in return and I'm just wondering how did you get to where you are now and why are you still there ...maybe give some thought to your short-comings or bad traits / characteristics / choices which were a possible reason why you're where you don't want to be.

Either way, communication is key, try to talk with your guy, be more blunt about it, maybe that helps. If you can say that you've tried enough and your relationship still hasn't improved and you don't think it will then move on to a better match and a (hopefully) happier future.

[MariRaccoon]

Wow, 10000% GET OUT.

 

Daddies are supposed to be strict and stern, but loving. This is awful. 

[Guest KitKat219]

I know you posted this awhile ago, but i hope you are doing better now. Hope you are safe. If you are still having trouble DM me. Ill help you out. I live in Pennsylvania, so idk if ill be close to you but i can still help you find resources to help you get somewhere safe. 

[DIJ6]

I barely got through all of number 1. I am probably the least "white knight" type here, for context.

 

This guy is an abuser. Period.

 

You know what to do.

[Metikulus]

I can't believe this is going to be my first post here, I came across this because my online gf confessed to me that she is into DDLG so because it appeals to me the whole wanting to be there for her and nurture her. I started looking into the best ways to become a DD in a DDLG relationship and came across this thread.

 

There's not much that I can say which has not been said, This Thing and I call it that because even animals have some form of nurturing and compassion to its partner, but this has no consideration for you, his actions are somewhat of a medieval nature and your just his wench sorry to say. I know of someone who took their own life because they were broken down piece by piece and because they felt there was no way out, they took the only way out for them to gain peace. I can only hope that you have listened to the advice given on this thread and gotten yourself out of that situation.

[dorkydaddydom]

in my opinion she needs to stay away from any sort of lifestyle. I think she should try a normal respectful relationship for the time being and get some therapy and help. Form personal experience getting back into a kink is a horrible idea after a relationship like this alittle normal is sometimes best for the mind to heal

This. Take a break, have fun with friends and don't think about kink stuff for now. You need to heal.