I think my daddy is toxic?! (Long Rant&Advice?) TRIGGER WARNING- GRAPHIC ABUSE CONTENT

[Sweetdonut]

Long rant I’m sorry ): I understand if you don’t respond. Hi! Lately I’ve been trying to get past how my daddy acts but I’m not sure if I can deal with it anymore. I’ll list off certain things and these aren’t in order. Just as they come to mind.

 

1.) Makes me clean up after him, and make every meal, and all the chores. Like literally everything. Vacuum, dishes, make bed, laundry, clean bathrooms, tidy up, dust. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. And he doesn’t help with Any of it. He won’t even put his dishes in the sink, just near it. Won’t even clean one dish. He won’t change the laundry over if he sees it, he’ll ask me to do it. He can’t do any tiny thing, like if he sees something on the ground he won’t pick it up he’ll ask me to. He won’t help me in the kitchen. Like i think it’s cute if we could cook together but he just won’t. And when I do all these things he barely says thank you, or good girl, or compliment me. I feel like his damn mother and it’s the opposite of how I want to feel. He doesn’t like to praise me. He thinks it’s annoying ): not even a kiss or head pets or cuddles. If he does it’s super rare. And when he does it doesn’t seem genuine it seems like he does it so I won’t “bitch” which brings me to 2

 

2. When I try to communicate he gets really irritated. If I don’t get cuddles and I ask and he says no I ask why and he gets mad. Says I’m bitching. If I’m upset for not getting praised he says I’m bitching. If I ask him to move over in bed he gets livid and tells me to stop bitching. If we don’t go out and do stuff and I get upset he tells me to stop bitching. Like every time I try to just talk to him how I feel he HATES it and always says if I don’t like i should just leave. And yells at me and calls me really mean names.

 

3. When he gets mad at me he calls me dumb cunt, dumb bitch, stupid bitch, fat slut, fat whore, and everything in between. Like the other day I was trying to get clear shrimp out of our fish tank(we’ve been trying to get all the clears out) and when he found out he screamed at me and said mean stuff. If I’m having a bad day he’ll yell at me. If I defend myself he yell at me. I’m extremely sensitive and it makes me insanely sad when he says these things. And he doesn’t even care, he wants me to feel this way. He wants me to feel ashamed of myself even if I didn’t deserve it. And when he does bad things god forbid I get mad at him. He doesn’t apologize for shit.

 

4. He doesn’t care for my well being. He never asks me if I ate today. He never gives me cuddles when I’m sad he just finds it annoying. He doesn’t do the same for me as I would do for him. He doesn’t rub my back, doesn’t rub my feet, doesn’t tuck me in at night. Doesn’t let me get sleep. If I’m snoring he’ll push me until I’m up so he can go to sleep. He doesn’t care if I get sleep or not as long as he gets some. When I’m in my monthly he doesn’t do anything special. He doesn’t get me Stuffies on good days. Doesn’t ask if I took a shower that day. Or brushed my teeth. He says I’m only here to please him.

 

5. He doesn’t care about my pleasure or sexual needs. Only his. I’ll literally throw myself at him and he won’t give me attention if he doesn’t feel like it. I’ll ask him to touch my nippies and he’ll play with it for a few seconds before going back to watching tv. He doesn’t finger me or touch me down there. He refuses to eat me out. He doesn’t care if I cum. He doesn’t do cum denial (which I think is sooo sexy) he just literally does not care to put any effort into me. Or my kitty. Like I don’t turn him on. He just likes that I’m there if he gets horny. He doesn’t think it’s hot when I masturbate (which I’m always doing because he won’t touch me) I’ll do little things like lay naked or rub my boobies and it doesn’t phase him. I feel indesirable and not sexy )))):

 

6. He makes me fear him as a way of obeying. Like if I do something wrong, hell cattle prod me, put a shock collar on me, hit me, yell mean things at me. He won’t do sexy punishments like spanks, or no cuddles, or forced deepthroat. He doesn’t make me want to please him. You know? It’s like a cycle. If he made me feel sexy, and like a good girl, and praise me I’d feel more inclined to please him but he’s always getting mad at me and yelling at me which does the opposite.

 

7. When I feed (bj) he doesn’t even look at me. He looks at porn it his game or tv. He barely moans. He doesn’t rub my head or say good girl, or teach me to do it certain ways he likes. And when it takes to long he yells at me (in a bad/mean way)

 

8. I love bdsm but every time we have sex he barely chokes me and holds me down and does the kinky stuff that we both like. He just does missionary or doggy, he cums, lays down. doesn’t ask me if I feel good. Or doesn’t ask for cuddles after..

 

9. There is 0 aftercare. None what so ever. He doesn’t cover me with a blanket after sex. He doesn’t get me water. He doesn’t give me my favorite stuffy. He doesn’t put cartoons on. He doesn’t give me a kiss. He’ll ask me to get him water. And than won’t even ask me if I want some

 

10. He threatens to kick me out every time we have an argument whether it’s big or small. And this hurts because he says he loves me but won’t even think twice about making me leave. Like he doesn’t care if I’m there. He doesn’t try to work things out. Or punish me. Or say sorry. His go to is always , get the fuck out. And he’s done it a few times now.

 

11. He doesn’t let me hang out with friends, but he gets to. If I get invited somewhere he won’t let me go or he’ll give me a ridiculous cerfew. I’ve lost friends because of him. And he doesn’t even care. He says he should be my only friend but I don’t think that’s ok. I wanna go out and have fun but he just won’t let me. He gets mad. If I try and talk to him about compromising at all he starts yelling at me and telling me I can leave (like kicked out).

 

12. Recently he brought a girl over for a threesome and I couldn’t argue because he would’ve kicked me out or yelled at me. So I was kinda forced to do something I was extremely uncomfortable with. He’s always trying to find a third girl. And when I try to bring it up and tell him how uncomfortable I am with sharing him, and him talking to other girls he gets mad and yells or and threatens to kick me out. Am I not good enough?? Why does he need more than one girl to play with. I do everything for him.

 

Literally everything. I’m always making sure he’s fed, happy and pleased. But i never get anything returned. Writing this makes me cry because I just want him to care about me ):

 

13. When I cry either because he makes me (usually by being mean to me) or because I’m having a bad day. He won’t make sure I’m ok. He’ll say “dry it up” and “stop you’re so annoying” or “go upstairs/downstairs” (so he won’t have to hear me). He doesn’t come cuddle me or give me kisses or a stuffy. Or make me feel protected and safe. It genuinely annoys him when I cry.

 

I look past these because he works full time and says that I’m lucky i can just lay around all day and do chores. He says a good baby girl makes sure he’s happy. And if him being happy is all those things I listed than I should be happy because he is. But I just thought daddies were supposed to to do things for their princess to. I stay because he’s my daddy and he says I’m supposed to accept it. But I don’t know if I can. He’ll do little things like take me to get ice cream, or order food so I don’t have to cook, or get me arts and crafts and he’ll do small things but it’s usually for his own benefit or so he doesn’t have to hear me “bitch” anymore. Please don’t tell me to leave because I want to try and work it out. I have been telling him that instead of saying things like “NO IM WATCHING TV NOT EVERYTHING IS FUCKING ABOUT YOU” he can say things like “not right now babygirl maybe later” or things like that. Because again I’m fucking sensitive. And he’s gotten a little better at things I’ve talked to him about, but it’s extremely gradual. (Usually doesn’t seem genuine. Like I wish he did it because he should know better I hate that I have to tell him how to be a daddy) And after being yelled at for trying to talk to him. I wish when he saw me crying (usually fro him)it would break his heart a little bit. I wish he would help me cook, or do some dishes or laundry. I wish he would make sure I came or I feel pleased to. I once tried to get my blankey from the floor when we were sleeping and he punched me over and over and over because I woke him up...I just wanted my blankey )))): I wish he would look online about how to improve his actions but he literally doesn’t care.

[PrincessAurora]

I only had to read to point 2. YES he is abusive as shit and you need to get the hell out of there

[Vampiress]

He's not a Daddy, and I don't care if anyone disagrees with me. This is an abuser. This is someone using the lifestyle to get a vulnerable girl to become his domestic house slave that he thinks he can treat and talk down to any way he pleases. There's no love or affection there, just manipulation, verbal and emotional abuse, and degradation. This isn't someone deserving of the title Daddy as it puts shame on a title that other better men deserve. There is no relationship there. Stop calling him Daddy or seeing him as one. He's an abuser plain and simple and you need to get out. Not because he threatened you, but because it's for your own good and well-being. You've wasted too much time on him and enabled him by sticking around and letting him treat you this way. You're not all those awful things he called you and it's not your fault. He is a human being with really deep character flaws that you cannot help him fix. The fact that he won't even let you have friends means you're basically his prisoner and slave at this point, he won't even allow you the simplest of human affection through friendship. He probably knows if you had any friends and if they heard about any of this they'd tell you to abandon him, too. The fact that he's tried multiple times to force you to engage in sexual activity with a female that you did not consent to... you realize that is wrong? You owe him nothing just because he works. Work in the house is still work and often thankless, and too many people dismiss it and act like it's nothing but it can also be tiring and exhausting, and even worse when you're not even appreciated for it. He lied to you. He has no idea how to treat a little girl and he's full of it when he's trying to manipulate you into being a "good baby girl" by pleasing him in all these awful ways, and then he doesn't even praise you when you do exactly what you want. But he's not your Daddy. He's your abuser, your user, and has forced you into sex you do not want with another which is wrong. I know this isn't what you want to hear but you need to wake up. If this relationship had hope he'd never have let it get this far. He'd listen more. He'd go to couples counseling if he had to. He would do anything to not lose you, but instead he threatens you and tells you to get out and calls you names and puts you down. This isn't healthy, and your life isn't going to get any better until you move on and let yourself heal... and someday find a better man to treat you like the beautiful and sweet little princess that you are.

[Vampiress]

By the way, if you need friends or someone to talk to please feel free to add me. I wish I could give you the long hug you deserve. You need people who support you in your life, and this is a great place to find those friends, especially ones who understand your little side.

[Sweetdonut]

Thanks you guys for saying that. I know I probably sounded really ignorant typing all that stuff. But I just didn’t know what else to do. I just have so much love to give. And I wanted to believe I was giving it to the right person. I wanted to hope our relationship would change. But I think what you said is what I needed to hear. ): I think maybe I believe I deserved to be treated the way he treats me. Or that no one else will ever love me.

[PrincessAurora]

That's exactly how abusers work hun, they do that to you, they make you think you deserve the treatment or that if you leave, no one will want you. it's a whole load of bullshit to keep you compliant to them, and under their control.
they beat you down, beat down your confidence and your spirit. 

find a friend near you, tell them whats going on and see if you can stay with them for a bit for safety, unless you have access to return to your parents home or another family members home

[Sweetdonut]

Right now, I kind of pushed everyone away because of this relationship so I’ll have to find other ways if I end up deciding to leave him. But yeah that honestly makes total sense and I hope one day I’ll feel confident and worthy /:

[Vampiress]

You can definitely find resources to help you get out of there, even if you need help from a domestic violence group. You don't deserve how he treated you. He's a messed up person and would treat anyone else that way. When you're gone he'll probably try to fool another little or submissive into being his and try to trap them the way he has trapped you. If you have so much love to give, stop pouring it into him and pour it back into yourself because YOU are the person who deserves that love. You need to start on healing and learning to love yourself and have a positive relationship with yourself again because he has done so much to tear you down and make you doubt yourself. Then someday, when you are ready, you can give that love to another who will love you the same way and treasure you.

[DerbyNerd]

Run, run far and fast. He’s never going to change and every day you stay he’ll get you more defeated and down. You deserve so so so much more than what he thinks counts as love or dominance.

 

Reach out to the people who have cared for you in the past. They’re probably all there waiting for you to need them. Someone will help you get out.

[BabyDaisy81]

I would get a ginormous smack on the nappy if I au-dedans the language appropriate for that level of abuse so I won’t.. Poor little  love, you need a daddy who loves you!! Not some scummy poo for brains who treats you like you’re rubbish!! If you live with him get to a women’s refuge ASAP and some counselling.. Nobody will judge you, you deserve to be safe and cared for!! 

[MissPattch]

i read the whole thing, and my heart breaks for you.... in the last paragraph you say you don't want people to tell you to leave because you want to try and make things work, but as much as it kills me to say this to you, you can't. Not by yourself. If your Daddy is not interested in taking care of his share of the responsibility, you won't ever be able to make it work. By staying, all you are doing is enabling him to carry on behaving like this towards you. He thinks he has that much control over you that he can do whatever he wants and you'll still keep coming back, like a puppy that has been kicked. And thats exactly what you have been doing.

 

Baby Daisy mentioned women's refuges, and i 100% agree with them. They are the most amazing resource for women who need that kind of help. There is no shame in admitting that you are being abused, (which you are, btw, i know, speaking from experience), and if it weren't for my local women's refuge, me and my baby boy would still be living with my abuser. Even if you don't live with your Daddy, they are the most amazing people and can give you all kinds of support, whether you want to stay or go. Stay strong, and make the right decisions for you. Not your Daddy <3

[baby_k]

Leave.

 

When you hesitate leaving or think if you would still try, read you list.

I do think there is probably even more stuff than what you were able to write there, and just one item on your list would already be enough for leaving that rel.

 

So, leave and start loving yourself. You are not getting love from him, not now, not ever.

[Guest Taylor101]

Wow, that's absolutely horrible, there's no excuse for this kind of behavior. I'd highly recommend to leave as soon as you get the chance. It sounds as if he's doing nothing more than taking advantage of you and the situation and then guilt tripping you to make it seem as if it's ok or normal, well it's not. Everyone has flaws and isn't perfect, I definitely know I'm not perfect , but this is beyond the normal. You sound like a really good person, to be doing all of those things and taking care of him like that, not just any and anyone would do that in this day and age and it seems as if he honestly doesn't care and just abusing your love and kindness. I know it might not be easy, but again as soon as you find an opportunity to leave, then do it without hesitation, I don't see anything that you could be losing apart from a toxic abusive relationship. If you ever need anyone to talk to or if you just want to vent, I'm here for you. He's not a real daddy and is definitely not a real man either.

[AsleepAndDreaming]

Hello sweetdonut 

 

Every single point you've made in your original post is negative about him, about the "relationship" (such as it is) and about your circumstances. 

Every single day that you stay with a chronic abuser is a day of your life wasted. 

Every single time that he abuses you is another reason for you to feel bad. 

 

A good Caregiver will ALWAYS put your needs first. It's because a good Caregiver gets satisfaction and enjoyment from looking after you, loves it when you're happy, loves to see you all snuggly and content. A good Caregiver will ALWAYS come and help you do the cooking and make sure you're okay, it's what he's there for. And a good Caregiver will ALWAYS take care of your needs in bed. Because seeing you satisfied will be what pleases him. A good Caregiver will NEVER invite someone else into the bedroom without your prior consent.

 

I've no idea how you got with this guy, I've no idea whether this is your first experience of a relationship. But this man is not a Daddy, or a Caregiver, or even a nice person. He's an abusive, horrible, rude, self-centred animal. The fact that everybody who has responded to your post is so shocked by what you have written should tell you all you need to know.

 

If you can just walk out and leave him because you have somewhere you can go, please do it. 

If you can't, try to find someone you know and trust who you can talk to and who may be able to offer you assistance.

 

Every single day that you put up with this is a day you can't get back. 

[MussoniKim]

Hey Love

 

It is really sad and disheartening that you are going through all this. I do not know how much you might have invested in this but please for your own well being, please get the hell out of there. The fact that you have tried talking to him and all he says is that you are bitching, is nard enough. What's worse is that he verbally abuses you. That is not a caregiver or a Dominant, that is a shitty  asshole who feels entitled (my opinion) to the fact that you are his little. I know how that kind of abuse can do to someone. You feel that its just a phase or that it will pass or that you are hopeful he will change, imagine he has already showed that side of him, that's a red flag right there. Please do not ignore it. It might not be easy to walk out but you will get there. Truth is, people like him don't change. Get out while you still can, as per what I have read, the chain of connection is not completely deep rooted. What's worse when a man gets to treat someone they love this way, there is usually another person in the picture.(my opinion)

 

If talking to him has not worked, just leave. Your mental state both as a little/submissive and as yourself are worth more. If you ever need a friend to talk to just add me.

 

 

Do what's right for you and no one else.

[Guest Potassium]

A fucking cattle prod? Really?

This is literally the worst description of a partner I've ever seen on here, for everyones sake please run.

[Satan]

He hits you. He beat you. He both physically and mentally abuses you. it really sounds like you have some Stockholm syndrome going on and you need out NOW. This is not a situation you can fix. You must get out it will only get worse.

 

Domestic abuse is not BDSM. He is not a Daddy. This isn't a dynamic. Leave leave leave and never look back.

 

Please seek out help. This is going to take a long time to heal from but you can heal in time. Therapy for sure.

 

Do NOT get into another relationship right after leaving this one. Anyone who doesn't give you time to heal isn't looking out for you and is praying on you while you are still vulnerable. Be careful please.

[Guest DaddyPines]

Holy Heck he has a built in human slave with no rights! This is worse than some of those relationships!

[Nymph]

Sure, you can stay. You can do whatever you want with your life.

 

But stay knowing he is not a daddy and will never be, and that you are not his little girl, you are just his maid and cum toilet by the sounds of it... that if you are into degradation and humiliation would be wonderful, however even those doms will provide aftercare and attention in different ways or at other times. They also always talks things through in advance to make sure you are on the same page with safe words and in case you have changed your mind about some limits. I should know, I am old school BDSM and I have been a slave... and hun, slaves get more fun than you do.

 

Where do you go when he kicks you out? do you have somewhere to stay? how long does this usually last and how do you end up back there? how long have you been together?

[Guest Prettybloodyroses]

1. He ever lays a hand on you call 911 tucker belongs in jail

 

2.YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER. YOU ARE HIS PARTNER.

 

3.leave now like fucking run.if it was me I'd just hit the tucker with a car.

 

4.you are a strong women hes abusive stop giving him the power.

[Guest Prettybloodyroses]

There are some domestic abuse hotlines please reach out they can help you with shelter and a job.your relationship is not bdsm or ddlg it's pure domestic abuse.he needs to be in jail

[LittleChristina]

I think you should leave him and go to counseling. Then find some real Daddies to talk to not jump in another relationship until you know you will get what you need from it. But make sure you talk to real Daddies and learn from them what makes them a Daddy and what you should expect from a Daddy. Because he is hurting you and you don’t deserve that. You have to protect yourself.

[daddymind]

You need to understand that pretty much everyone who reads your opening post will be aghast and thinking "LEAVE. NOW". It's just too clear that this is not good for you and does not represent a healthy relationship.

 

What would you do if a friend of yours revealed to you what you did about your partner?

 

He honestly sounds a lot like my ex's ex boyfriend. Eventually she woke up one morning and thought "enough is enough", left and didn't look back. I hope you will get to that point sooner rather than later. This is really serious and you are giving this man your time and energy that could be spent building a meaningful relationship with someone who is mentally healthy and who genuinely cares about you.

 

The answer is clear - leave the prick. But I understand it's not as simple as that for many people in this situation. Get an action plan together. Get as much support from family and friends as you can. A place to stay, even just someone's couch, while you get back on your feet is crucial.

 

Good luck to you. You deserve better and this guy has serious issues that I hope he resolves for the sake of anyone else who might end up with him.

[LittleChristina]

Many years ago I was in a toxic relationship. I didn’t have any friends because I pushed everyone away. And family disowned me but when I couldn’t take any more I started going to counseling and they helped me get out by giving me options. I really hope you find a way to find a way for you to be safe. You can add me as a friend if you want and if there is anyway that I can help you like me know even if it is only to rage.

[Guest Prettybloodyroses]

I think you should leave him and go to counseling. Then find some real Daddies to talk to not jump in another relationship until you know you will get what you need from it. But make sure you talk to real Daddies and learn from them what makes them a Daddy and what you should expect from a Daddy. Because he is hurting you and you don’t deserve that. You have to protect yourself.

in my opinion she needs to stay away from any sort of lifestyle. I think she should try a normal respectful relationship for the time being and get some therapy and help. Form personal experience getting back into a kink is a horrible idea after a relationship like this alittle normal is sometimes best for the mind to heal Edited July 17, 2020 by Prettybloodyroses